Making Peace

by Fiona McCallum

  ‘So, how do I look – passable?’ she asked the cats, and did a twirl. They each went through the same ritual of opening their eyes, stretching, yawning and curling back up. ‘Geez, thanks, you guys. Hey, ease up with the compliments, they might go to my head,’ she said with a laugh, grabbed her handbag, and left the room.

  She practically skipped down the hall and was still smiling when the doorbell rang moments later. The wings of a swarm of butterflies beat against her insides as she opened the door.

  ‘Hi, Pete, you’re looking dapper,’ she said to the decidedly nervous looking man on her doorstep.

  ‘Hannah, hi. Thanks. You look absolutely stunning,’ he said, leaning in and kissing her cheek.

  ‘Thank you. The cats chose this evening’s outfit for me,’ she said.

  ‘Oh. Right. Okay then,’ he said, clearly puzzled.

  She closed the door and grasped his arm. ‘I had two dresses I was struggling to choose between,’ she explained as they made their way down the path. ‘I made the mistake of leaving them on the bed while I had a shower – still getting used to being a pet person. Anyway, I came out of the bathroom to find them all sitting on this one. Hopefully I’ve got rid of all the fur,’ she said, looking down her front.

  ‘You look perfectly fine to me.’

  ‘Thanks. So, they decided for me,’ she added.

  ‘You know,’ he said, grinning as he held the car door open for her, ‘maybe that’s the dress they didn’t choose. Maybe they avoided the other one to keep it pristine for you to wear. Or they were sitting on this one so you wouldn’t pick it up.’

  ‘Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. Good point. If only they spoke – English,’ she said, grinning.

  ‘So, I thought if we had time we might go and see a movie after dinner, if you like,’ Pete said as he pulled away from the kerb.

  ‘You mean, if we run out of conversation?’

  ‘I did, actually,’ he said a little sheepishly.

  ‘I haven’t been to a movie for ages,’ she lied. Well, not with a man. ‘That would be lovely.’

  ‘No need to decide yet. There’s a session of Bridget Jones at nine-thirty, but I haven’t bought tickets or anything, so we can play it by ear.’

  ‘Sounds perfect,’ Hannah said, and settled back into her seat. She was pleased to see Pete starting to relax too. ‘So, how was your week?’ she asked.

  ‘Good. It was a good week.’

  ‘How did your critical patients end up?’

  ‘They’ve all gone home. A great outcome,’ he said, beaming. ‘Have you started your new job?’

  ‘Not officially. I’ve done a few bits and pieces to get the office ready, but I’m starting on Monday. It’s only going to be a couple of days a week to start with.’

  ‘And you’re starting on a Monday? Clearly you don’t suffer from Monday-itis.’

  ‘Nope, never really have.’

  ‘Me neither. Well, not really. Every morning can be a bit daunting when you don’t know what cases will come up that day.’

  ‘Yes, I can imagine. I’m not sure how you deal with the heartbreak that must be such a big part of what you do.’

  ‘It’s the joy in sending a family home with a pet they thought they might lose and educating new pet owners that keeps me going. You’ve no idea how much I get out of simply watching the interaction between owners and their pets. The genuine love they have for each other.’

  ‘Oh, you old softy,’ she said, patting his leg.

  ‘Yep. That’s me. But, seriously, it’s more than just a job or a means of making money. Here we are,’ he said, turning into a carpark. ‘I’ve been watching this place come to life and been dying to try it.’

  ‘Me too,’ Hannah said, trying not to smile too broadly at the restaurant Craig and Jasmine had taken her to on Monday night.

  ‘Oh, hello there,’ the maître d’ said as they entered. ‘Back again so soon. This is good.’

  ‘Yes. It was such a lovely night,’ Hannah said.

  ‘Have you already been?’ Pete said, looking crestfallen. ‘We can go somewhere else.’

  ‘Not at all. It’s absolutely worth a second visit. My boss and his wife brought me here to celebrate our new beginning,’ she explained. ‘Please don’t feel weird about it. You weren’t to know,’ she said, putting a hand on Pete’s arm.

  ‘Booking for two under the name Pete Shaw.’

  ‘This way, please,’ the maître d’ said, and led the way through the almost full restaurant.

  ‘I actually wanted to come back because I had my eye on another dish on the menu. I can recommend the duck main and the orange parfait for dessert. I don’t even really need to look at the menu, I’m having the pork main and the caramel dessert,’ she said, giving the items a cursory scan.

  ‘It’s a good looking menu,’ Pete said. ‘I avoided checking it out online. Modern Australian and European tells me all I need to know. And it got a great write-up in one of the papers recently.’

  ‘Hah, we’re different there. I love looking up the menus online. I have been known to spend far too long deciding on what to have,’ Hannah said. ‘At least by knowing beforehand I only have to think about any specials on offer.’

  ‘Or if the menu isn’t up to date,’ Pete said.

  ‘Yes, and that.’

  ‘I used to look at the menu online, but a few times I got disappointed when what I’d chosen wasn’t available. What wine would you like? I’ll only have the one glass and I’m not fussed about matching it to food. I love a rosé, especially during summer. It’s probably not considered very manly, but hey,’ he added with a shrug.

  ‘I like a man in touch with his feminine side,’ Hannah said, a little surprised to hear the slightly flirty twang to her voice.

  ‘Do you now?’ Pete said with a wink. ‘Well, I like a woman who can embrace a bit of pet fur.’

  ‘Ha-ha. Cheers to that!’

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Hannah didn’t like loose ends. She’d sent Henry a text asking for his banking details, but he’d replied with:

  Don’t worry about it – we’ll sort it out next time.

  Hannah was too frustrated to reply. She went for a long walk and took some rolled oats to the ducks by the river in the hope of letting the feeling go. It was an enjoyable morning, but thoughts of Henry kept creeping in, even overshadowing her memories of her delightful evening with Pete. They hadn’t ended up going to a movie, had decided to instead call it a night. He assured her he was just tired and that it wasn’t because he wasn’t enjoying her company. Hannah had lied and said she was feeling a little tired too. She’d waved him off after he’d given her a goodbye peck on the cheek, and she’d gone inside feeling the tiniest bit disappointed again. She really did enjoy being with him and she wasn’t going to waste energy thrashing it about in her head. He had a busy, demanding and very meaningful job – of course he’d be tired at the end of the week.

  Back at home, Hannah sat with a mug of tea overlooking her neat garden. Henry had done a good job, not that she knew anything about the correct pruning angles or anything technical like that. She’d only know if the trees continued to bear fruit and didn’t die, but they certainly looked neat and other than that you wouldn’t know he’d been. He’d taken away all the pruned branches.

  But the longer she sat there and thought of him the more annoyed she became. She so badly felt the need to help him get his life back on track. But how? What could she do that wouldn’t be considered stepping over the line? Also, she couldn’t risk him getting the wrong idea and setting his romantic sights in her direction. Not that she thought he might – it’s just that he was vulnerable and clearly not very strong. Most likely he’d love a woman to take charge. So, what was the story with his wife, Louise? Was she weak and mouse-like?

  Suddenly Hannah knew she had to know. She went back inside, put her mug in the sink and went through to the office. She dug out Henry’s business card she’d filed and put it on her desk. The landli
ne number was crossed out, but it was still decipherable. She turned on her laptop and brought up the White Pages website. He’d said he lived in Yarraville. She put in the details, pressed the search button and held her breath while she waited. Bingo! she thought as the results revealed just one result. Thank goodness they hadn’t had their number delisted. She quickly wrote down the details. Next she brought up Google Maps and put in the street address and her own and then printed out the map and directions. With her printed pages in hand she stepped around the cats who’d just entered the office. ‘I’ll be back soon,’ she told them and strode down the hallway where she collected her mobile, handbag and keys from the small table.

  As she was closing the front door she paused to look at her attire. She probably should change. But if she went back inside she might talk herself out of this. And, anyway, most of Melbourne’s cafés would be filled with women in their ‘active wear’. At least she’d actually been active that morning!

  Hannah parked across the street and took in the neat, well-maintained picket fence, front garden and house. Someone must have researched heritage colour schemes. Or perhaps this was a designated heritage area and Henry and Louise hadn’t had a choice. Though Henry had spoken with clear affection of the house and from his comments Hannah gathered that he’d lovingly restored it. She wondered if he was still coming around to take care of the lawn and garden despite being estranged from his wife.

  With her heart beating hard against her ribs, Hannah suddenly asked herself what she was doing here. There was a loud whooshing sound in her ears distracting her. As she looked at the house she wondered, did she really want to meet Louise Peace? Would Louise want to meet her? What would she say to this woman? She really hadn’t thought this through. Uh-oh. This is a bad idea. I should just go.

  As she was about to put the car back in gear to leave, Hannah remembered the money she’d taken out from the ATM. That’s right, the whole reason for her being there was to get the remaining fifty dollars to Henry. How could she have forgotten? Perhaps Louise asking him to come and get the money might help them in some small way. Or perhaps keeping it might help Louise in some small way. Hannah knew most people would think she was obsessed about it – it was, after all, only fifty dollars, and it wasn’t like she hadn’t already tried to pay Henry. But she felt very strongly about not owing Henry, in particular. She wasn’t sure why. But he wasn’t a friend and she wanted things to be kept professional between them. God, human beings can be complicated, she thought. She reluctantly left the warm car and made her way across the street.

  Hannah’s hand was shaking slightly as she lifted it to turn the knob of the old-fashioned doorbell. Her heart began to race when she heard muffled footsteps and voices. Uh-oh, what if Henry’s here? Then you give him the money, silly. You’re not hiding or doing anything wrong. She almost laughed at her idiocy. But then her mind clouded as she wondered what to say.

  The door opened and a pleasant looking woman in jeans and a crisp, freshly ironed floral shirt peered out at her. She looked even younger than Henry – probably not yet forty.

  ‘Hello?’ she said.

  ‘Mrs Peace? Mrs Louise Peace?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Hannah could see Louise taking in her appearance and felt a little embarrassed.

  ‘You’re not media, are you?’ Louise asked.

  ‘No. I’m Hannah. Hannah Ainsley. Um. Your husband, Henry, did some gardening for me but I didn’t have enough cash. Here,’ she said, thrusting the fifty dollar note out towards Louise.

  ‘Oh. Okay. Thank you. Would you like a receipt?’ Louise was frowning slightly.

  ‘No, that’s okay.’ Hannah turned to walk away.

  ‘Hang on.’

  Hannah turned back.

  ‘Hannah Ainsley? The Hannah Ainsley? The one who lost her entire family …?’

  Hannah nodded as she watched the blood drain from Louise Peace’s face. ‘Um, yes. I’m so sorry to intrude. I wanted to bring the money. But I also wanted to meet you and tell you that I don’t hate your Henry. It was an accident. I know that. I don’t want Henry throwing his life away – and yours too.’ Hannah shut her mouth on the torrent that threatened to continue. She was already coming close to sounding like a crazy person.

  Suddenly she found herself in Louise’s arms being held very tightly. She gasped.

  ‘Thank you,’ Louise said when she had released Hannah. ‘It means so much to have you say that. Henry was right about what an incredible woman you are.’

  Hannah, feeling a little embarrassed and not sure what to say, looked at her feet.

  ‘Would you like to come in?’ Louise asked.

  ‘Oh, well I don’t want to …’

  ‘Please. But only if you can spare the time.’

  Hannah smiled. ‘Um, okay. I’m not in any rush.’

  ‘Mummy, who’s this?’ said a little boy about the twins’ age, who was half hiding behind his mother and holding onto her legs.

  ‘Felix, this is Hannah, a friend of Mummy and Daddy’s.’

  ‘Hello, Felix,’ Hannah said, squatting down and holding out her hand, which Felix tentatively took hold of and shook gently. ‘It’s really nice to meet you.’

  ‘It’s nice to meet you too,’ he said, and let go of her hand.

  ‘Now, Felix, darling, how about you go and play outside with Bertie for a bit.’

  ‘Okay,’ Felix said and ran off down the hall.

  ‘Bertie’s our dog,’ Louise explained to Hannah, who nodded and smiled in reply.

  ‘Come through.’

  ‘You have a beautiful home, Louise,’ Hannah said when she was seated in the kitchen.

  ‘Thanks. It’s rustic, but I love it.’

  ‘I love old furniture too,’ Hannah said, taking in the leadlight cabinet and oak table and chairs.

  ‘Thanks. I have a fondness for the nineteen thirties. It’s been a great era to collect because no one really appreciated it until quite recently. Thankfully before people twigged I had all I needed,’ she said with a smile.

  ‘Solid timber has so much character and warmth, doesn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, and it is nice and sturdy too. They certainly don’t make things like they used to, do they?’

  ‘No, they don’t,’ Hannah said smiling in return.

  ‘I was about to put the espresso pot on if you’re interested.’

  ‘Espresso sounds lovely. Thank you.’

  ‘It was always instant in this house, but when Henry left I decided I’d damned well have decent coffee if I want it, especially now I’m working again. It’s my little luxury,’ she said, putting the pot on the hotplate and turning it on.

  ‘I’m sorry he left,’ Hannah said.

  ‘Me too. But I can’t be sitting around crying about it. Someone has to step up, especially when there’s a child to be taken care of. It’s all very well for Henry to drop his bundle. Silly man. Don’t get me wrong. I love him to bits, I’m just disappointed.’

  Hannah nodded.

  ‘God, listen to me going on.’ Louise suddenly sat down at the table and gripped both of Hannah’s hands in hers. ‘I am so, so sorry for your loss, Hannah. I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through. If there’s anything I can do, please just ask.’

  ‘Honestly, I appreciate the gesture, Louise, but I’m fine. I can’t say it hasn’t been hard – my world has been turned upside down, but, like you, I’m getting on with things.’

  ‘Like me? Hannah, my situation is nothing like yours. You poor thing.’

  ‘I try not to think of myself as a victim,’ Hannah said, not wanting to sound defensive. She was beginning to wish she hadn’t accepted Louise’s invitation. It was getting a little awkward. She looked down at her hands, desperate to pull them away. But she didn’t want to cause offence.

  ‘Of course you are. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to …’ Louise said, letting go of Hannah’s hands as if they were suddenly too hot to hold.

  ‘It’s okay.’ Hannah was
thankful for the distraction of the spluttering and gurgling pot on the stove, which Louise jumped up to attend to.

  ‘Now, I like plenty of milk and one and a half sugars. How about you?’

  ‘Sounds perfect,’ Hannah said, relaxing. She was here and couldn’t leave without it looking rude.

  Louise took the lid off a plastic container and put it on the table.

  ‘They’re gorgeous,’ Hannah said as she selected a cupcake covered in pink icing and small silver balls. ‘Yum,’ she said peeling off the paper case and taking her first bite. ‘So you said you’re working. Are you enjoying it?’

  ‘Yes, surprisingly. It’s just a few days in an office, but I’d forgotten how good it feels to be useful as more than a mum and wife. I like the renewed feeling of independence, too. Not that Henry isn’t a good provider. Well, he was. He does his best, but he’s a bit lost. Ah, who am I kidding? He’s being a bloody fool. Speaking of being a victim. Seriously, sometimes I just want to shake the shit out of him. Oops, sorry.’

  ‘No problem at all,’ Hannah said, trying not to smile too broadly at Louise’s frankness.

  ‘Seriously, he’s a pretty smart man, but he’s not behaving like one at the moment. It’s one thing for me to see it, but what I worry about is what message it’s sending Felix. Sadly Henry is too caught up in his poor-me syndrome.’

  ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’

  ‘Sadly, no. But, thanks for asking. I think he has to either hit rock bottom – which I’d rather not see – or somehow wake up to himself. I haven’t told him I’m working and I’m keeping the money in a separate account in the hope he’ll think we have hit rock bottom. I guess I’m also trying not to emasculate him even more. I want him back. I want my family back together. He may be a big boofhead, but he’s my big boofhead,’ she said sadly and sipped on her coffee. ‘But I can’t exactly drag him back kicking and screaming. I guess I’ve just been hoping he’ll suddenly step up. Maybe I’m kidding myself.’

  ‘I think he’d be very upset to see the house sold,’ Hannah said quietly.

  ‘So, what’s he bloody doing about it, then?’

  ‘I think he’s getting more gardening work. I’ve given his details to a few friends of mine.’