When The Right Door Opens

by Catherine Micqu

  “I think, I'm okay. Thank you Sebastian. Really.”

  “Oh daddy. Are you okay? You scared me. Please, here, drink this!” Agnes held out a glass of water and Jamie covered his daughter's shaking hands with his own.

  “I'm okay. It's a lot to take in, in these few minutes. And with the concussion...”

  “You have a concussion? Son, what happened to you? Did you get into a fight?” Brady had stayed on the sidelines. He wasn't sure how to react, but when he heard about the concussion, he grew concerned.

  “Sort of. I don't want to talk about it, but I want to introduce you to Sebastian Martin. We are living with him in Angel's Hollow.”

  “So you are taking good care of my boy and his girl? I hope the black eyes isn't from you.” Brady eyed Sebastian with a stern look.

  “Dad, no it isn't. I can assure you of that. Sebastian had been nothing but kind and friendly and caring.”

  “Your mother and I, we always hoped that you would find someone you could love and who would you love in in return. I sincerely hope that you are happy.” Brady sat down in an armchair and sighed. Sebastian and Agnes sat next to Jamie on the sofa. Jamie looked at the glass in his hand and contemplated saying something, but he couldn't think of anything, apart from the fact that his mother had died and he had fainted like a sissy.

  Agnes got up and watched the photos that were decorating the living room. Many many photos were there to see. A clock ticked loudly and highlighted the awkward silence. Sebastian took in his surroundings too and wondered how Jamie had fitted into all of this.

  “When did mom... and how?” Jamie finally asked.

  “She had a stroke. She didn't suffer. The doctors said that her smoking was maybe one of the reasons, but they couldn't say for sure.”

  “When?”

  “Four, no, five years ago. I tried to reach you, but Lauren's parents are deceased and I have no new address or phone number.” Jamie nodded and tried to stay calm. He felt the sudden urge to jump up and yell and scream at his father. Why had he given up so easily? He should have tried more to find Jamie. Jamie had needed him.

  “Oh my God. Is that me?” Agnes held out a picture of a baby and sure enough, it was her with Jamie. She brought the photo over and Jamie looked at it disbelievingly. “How... I mean, this was taken when I lived with Lauren.”

  “I know. Her parents mailed it to us. It is the only picture I have ever seen of Agnes and it was the last I had seen of you.” There was so much regret in Brady's voice, it made Jamie pity his father.

  “I think we should go now. I need to rest and this was all a lot to digest.”

  “Can... Can we keep in contact? I want... I know I have no right to ask you this after the way we treated you, but, I want to be a part of your life again. I want to get to know the man you've become and I want to get to know Agnes and your Sebastian too. Please? We have lost so much time already. Please, consider it. Consider to forgive an old man.” Jamie didn't react right away, he was weighing his words carefully.

  Sebastian got up and took a pen and a piece of paper that lay in a bowl on the coffee table. He scribbled something on it and held it out to Jamie's father.

  “This is my – our address and this is the phone number of the land-line. Please use it, Mister McCarrick. I think Jamie is a little overwhelmed and tired, we should get him home. Thank you for your hospitality.” Sebastian shook Brady's hand and Brady looked shamefully at the floor.

  “I didn't even offer you something to drink.”

  “It's okay. We'll catch up on that next time. Promise.”

  Agnes stood awkwardly in front of her grand-father.

  “I can't believe I have a grand-father now.”

  “You always had one.”

  “Well, now that you are back in our lives, you are going to be part of our family, right? You need to meet Sebastian's brother, Kai. They are twins, but very different. And their mother, Karen. She's really fierce, but fun.” Agnes hugged Brady tightly and smiled brightly.

  Jamie stood close to his father. They looked deep into each other’s eyes and without making a sound, they talked. They asked for forgiveness and they forgave. Their eyes filled with new tears and they hugged, as if to make up for all those years without seeing and feeling their flesh and blood.

  Brady watched Jamie and his family leave. Sebastian drove and the luxurious car took off. Brady stood at the doorstep until the taillights of the car were gone. Brady McCarrick sighed contently. On an early morning, he left the house to get his mail and he walked back in, with his lost son.

  ****

  Jamie was quiet on the way home and Agnes didn't protest that Sebastian wasn't driving to her school. She would have missed the first two classes anyway. The last couple of days had been crazy and unsettling, but at the same time she felt safe and loved, genuinely accepted for who she was and where she came from and she dared to hope that her life-long wish of having a family would finally come true.

  Jamie on the other hand, contemplated his father and what he had said. He had aged a lot, but he looked healthy and maybe even happy. Jamie regretted not having been at his mother's side when she died, and he hated that he had forgotten to ask where she was buried. He wanted to say good-bye to her. He needed to call his father and ask about it. He needed to see the grave, to be able to forgive her and to find closure. It had been easier for him when he thought his parents refused to talk to him than to know that one of them had deceased and he was the last to know.

  Sebastian parked the car behind Kai's, who was blocking the way up to his garage. Inside the house, power-tools could be heard and Agnes immediately hastened up to her room. Kai was building her bed and she cheered him on.

  Jamie and Sebastian stood at the door and watched too. Jamie managed to smile and he pushed back against Sebastian's hand that rested soothingly on his neck.

  Silently, he pushed Sebastian back and out of the room. He turned in the other man's arms and without hesitating, he kissed him. It wasn't a slow, tender kiss, it was wanting, needy and without finesse. Sebastian grabbed Jamie's hand and pulled him into his bedroom. They kissed again, still passionate, but less frantic. Jamie pulled away and looked into Sebastian's brown eyes. He didn't feel it coming, but the tears were back again. Sebastian held him close.

  “My mother died.” Jamie sobbed, gasping for air. “I miss her so much.”

  “Shh, I know. Let it all out.”

  Sebastian guided Jamie to his bed and they cuddled close to each other. Jamie cried a long time, until there were no more tears to cry. He lay on Sebastian's chest, listening to his heartbeat, while Sebastian drew lazy circles on Jamie's back.

  Jamie felt better, safe and protected and while he mourned the loss of his mother, he welcomed his father back in his life and it made him happy. Jamie looked up at Sebastian “Thank you.” he said.

  “Stop thanking me. I'm not doing anything.”

  “You are there. That is more than anyone ever did for me before.” Jamie stretched up and kissed Sebastian on the lips again. He could get used to this, he could get used feeling this close to Sebastian. Sleep overwhelmed him and he let his eyelids droop.

  Sebastian was still drawing patterns on Jamie's back and watched while he fell asleep. “I think, I am falling for you.” Sebastian whispered and kissed Jamie's hair. Jamie smiled and cuddled even closer. He had heard the words, but he wasn't awake enough to tell Sebastian that he was feeling the same.

  ****

  After a bed and a dresser were put together, Agnes wanted to show her room to her father. It was almost finished, only a few decorations were missing. She looked into her father's bedroom, but it was empty, the bed was neatly made and the room looked the same as it had looked when they left that morning.

  “Maybe he is with Sebastian.” Kai suggested and Agnes went straight to Sebastian's room. Without knocking, she entered, but stopped in her tracks.

  “What is it?” Kai asked from behind her, but she only “sshh'ed” him. “Look
!”

  Sebastian was perched up against the headboard of his bed, asleep. Jamie lay with his head on Sebastian's chest with a serene look on his face. Sebastian's arm held Jamie tightly against him. He too had a smile on his lips.

  Agnes took out her smart phone and turned on the camera.

  “What are you doing?” Kai hissed.

  “I want to remember this moment. Look at them! I haven't seen my father relaxed like this in ages. Even in his sleep, his jaw is set.” She took a few pictures, but was careful not to make any noise. She didn't want to intrude on her father's privacy. When she was done, she pushed Kai out of the room.

  “Hey, are you alright?” Kai asked concerned, when he saw the tears in Agnes's eyes.

  “Uhum. I think – I think my dad has found his luck and I have found a family.” Agnes hesitated and waited for Kai to mock her; instead he pulled her into his arms.

  “Of course, baby-girl. We are going to be a family. You know it, I know it and I think the two fools in there know it too.” Kai kissed Agnes's head, not sure if he was overstepping a line.

  “How about a movie and a bowl of chips-ice.”

  “What's chips-ice?” Agnes asked.

  “Well, you have a bowl of ice cream and you crumble some potato-chips over it all.”

  “Eww, sounds gross.”

  “Oh yes, but it's delicious.” Kai grinned.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.” Kai braced himself for what was to come.

  “Can I call you uncle Kai now?”

  “Only if you eat your ice cream with the chips. Oh and of course after that foot massage I've been craving and...”

  “Alright! Kai it is.” Agnes gave a heartfelt laugh.

  ~~Chapter 8~~

  Jamie woke up the next day confused to feel the warmth of a manly arm draped around his shoulders. Until now he had always been very careful to not fall asleep with a client. It was dangerous to give in and stay for the night and most clients required another fuck without paying appropriately anyway. Jamie scolded himself for his imprudence and vowed to never let it happen again.

  He raised his head a little to see the john and started to smile. He was safe. Who he saw was no client, who he saw was Sebastian. A little drool was running out of the corner of his mouth, but it was not disgusting, it was adorable. Sebastian looked peacefully asleep and Jamie dared to cuddle even closer to this man. He sighed contentedly and took a deep breath, drinking in Sebastian's natural scent that was overpowering the faint smell of detergent from his shirt. Jamie dared to close his eyes and enjoy the peaceful rightness of the situation again.

  Jamie tried to dream up a happy shared future while he wasn't really able to sleep. He saw himself doing a barbecue with friends he didn't have, but also with the family he recently found. It made him feel warm inside and it made him smile. Agnes was happy and laughing with Kai. Jamie was glad that she had found a good person, someone who took her side, in Kai. Sebastian was talking with his mother and Jamie's father. The sun warmed him from inside out. It was perfect.

  Sebastian stirred under him and Jamie knew it was time to open his eyes soon. Just a little longer, he tried to hold on to what he had. Jamie had experienced so many moments of loss, so many moments of insecurity, that he didn't dare to admit how attached he felt to Sebastian after only a short amount of time. He felt Sebastian's body becoming harder under his own. The muscle tone was coming back and Jamie didn't only feel it, he also heard the breathing change and Sebastian's heartbeat was a little too fast, too thumbing now. Jamie lay still and waited.

  Sebastian started petting Jamie's hair, running his fingers gently through it soothingly. He didn't move, didn't speak, and didn’t let on that he was awake too, apart from the fingers that searched contact. Sebastian sighed deeply and Jamie moved a little closer. He took the opportunity that presented itself and grabbed Sebastian tighter, but still pretended to be asleep.

  “Are you awake?” Sebastian asked whispering.

  “I don't want to be.” was Jamie's mumbled answer and Sebastian chuckled.

  “Go back to sleep then.”

  “I don't want to go to my own cold bed.”

  “Stay!” Sebastian was surprised at his own voice. It was almost pleading and it finally made Jamie look up.

  “What? What did you say?”

  “I said, stay.”

  “But you don't know me. What if...” Sebastian's finger on Jamie's lips kept him from speaking on.

  “Don't. Please don't say 'what if', because I can't foresee the future. I only know, that you feel good in my arms and that I want to stay like this a little longer. I'm not promising a forever, I am not without my own very annoying flaws, but I like you here. With me.” Jamie was stunned at the confession and he searched Sebastian's deep brown eyes for a sign of doubt, but there was none.

  “Hopeless for a long time, for the wrong reason I was in love.” Jamie sang more to himself than to Sebastian.

  “Come again?”

  “Oh, um... just a song that came to my mind.” Jamie dismissed it smiling, but determined to find that CD again. A rarity from the UK that a client had given him. A good and nice man actually, who was wealthy and clean. More than once he had offered to take Jamie in, but Jamie had always declined the offer because of Agnes and also, because he didn't want to end up as a mistress in closeted queen's life.

  “Is that a torch or are you happy to see me?” Jamie teased, trying to lighten the mood and show his playful side, when he shifted a bit and brushed his hand against Sebastian's throbbing erection.

  “Oh my God. You didn't just say that? That alone is a reason to throw you out of this bed. Sexy talk – yes! Dirty talk – yes! But what you just did – no. No-go!” Sebastian wiggled his finger to underline what he just said. Jamie couldn't suppress his laughter. It was the first time Sebastian had acted really gay and it looked funny and out of character.

  “Are you laughing about me?” Sebastian demanded to know and Jamie couldn't stop laughing, he simply nodded.

  “That deserves to be punished.” Sebastian said sternly and then he started tickling Jamie, he was writhing and gasping for air underneath Sebastian, who had turned them and was towering over Jamie. They started rolling around on the bed, each one trying to submit the other one.

  Jamie panted and came to rest on top of Sebastian, pining his arms over his head with only one hand. He had the urge to kiss Sebastian. The sexual tension was rising and he almost fell into Sebastian's deep brown eyes. He felt the unmistakable tell-tale bulge in Sebastian's pants pressing into his own arousal and he involuntarily moved against it, making Sebastian moan.

  Jamie and Sebastian stared into each other’s eyes. The playful mood was replaced by a sensual tension between the two. Slowly, only in slow motion, Jamie lowered his head and covered Sebastian's mouth, lightly at first, almost hesitantly as if he was waiting to be rejected. He was not rejected, however. A tender kiss was exchanged and Jamie's free hand slowly trailed down Sebastian's hard muscled body. When Jamie's hand was grazing Sebastian's hips, he laughed and moved away. “Tickles.”

  Sebastian seized the moment of Jamie's distraction and moved them again. This time, he came to rest on top of Jamie, his legs finding a comfortable position between Jamie's spread legs. Sebastian rocked back and forth playfully at first, but Jamie's hand soon was on Sebastian's ass, guiding his motions and encouraging him to go on, to push faster and harder. Jamie felt the need to feel skin and dipped his hands into Sebastian's sweatpants and squeezed the muscular orbs. Sebastian moaned delightedly and Jamie – froze. He took his hands away and gently pushed Sebastian away.

  “I'm sorry.” Jamie whispered. Sebastian didn't understand what was happening, he was not able to respond. One moment he was practically dry-humping Jamie and the next, he was rejected. He ran a hand through his hair in desperation.

  “I like you Sebastian. I want this to be more than just a quick get off/get out kind of thing. This didn't feel right.
I don't want us to come in our pants like experimenting teenagers. Despite what my job might imply, I'm not very experienced. This – all of this, is new to me.” Jamie said and lowered his head, almost as if he was ashamed. What Jamie meant to say, but what he didn't know how to articulate was, that he had never had sex with someone he liked so much. He had a lot of experience, yes, but not with feelings and actions correlating.

  Sebastian considered what to say, he took Jamie's hand in his and laid down next to Jamie, his head resting on his shoulder.

  “We'll take it slow. I promise to exercise my restraint and not to rush you, although patience is not my strongest virtue.” Their hands were laced together on Jamie's chest.

  “Thank you for telling me and stopping me.” Sebastian sounded honest, but also sad.

  “I want to do this the right way. Honesty is an important part for me.” Jamie admitted and he hesitated to speak on for a moment, before he added: “I don't know why I feel so connected to you, but I do. It feels good and it feels right and just to tell you right away, it has nothing to do with being grateful.”

  Sebastian raised a questioning eyebrow.

  “Me being intimate with you? I want to do it for myself and not because I think you need to be rewarded for letting us stay.”

  “I never thought this would be...”

  “Good. But I should go back to my room now.”

  It all came so suddenly and it all ended suddenly too. Mere moments ago, Jamie lay in his bed, without a doubt aroused too and now he was slipping out of the room, closing the door behind himself gently. Sebastian let himself fall down on the bed and sighed, before he cursed and punched the mattress beside him.

  Sebastian got up and went to the kitchen. It was 9:51pm, the red numbers on his oven display told him. He took a bottle of water out of the fridge and peeked into the living room. Agnes and Kai were watching a movie and laughing at a funny scene.