Twisting Fate

by Charisse Reid

  "This is what I want. I want to stay with him. I'm about to have a baby, Breyson. A baby needs food, constant clothing and care, as well as diapers. All of those things require money. He can provide a roof over our head and food in our mouths. You haven't even finished high school. I won't be the reason you have to miss out on any more of your life. I want you to go to college and play football. I want you to experience the life that you've missed out on because of me. I've already given up my dream to cheer in the NFL after college to raise Bryce. I won't allow you to give up yours too. I've made my decision, so don't try and change my mind."

  I open the door and begin backing inside. I can't hold this in much longer. I need to get away from him. "Don't do this," he whispers. I count in my head to try and even out my breathing.

  I shield myself with the door as if that's going to give me some kind of protection from my own breaking heart. I'll never forgive myself for doing this to him, but as Macie referenced, that's my cross to bear. "Goodbye, Breyson. I'll always love you."

  I shut the door, shutting out the only person I'll ever love above all else. The tears I was able to will back for a matter of minutes shatters my hold and descends rapidly in a thick curtain. I turn and place my back to the door, sliding down to the floor in hysterics. "Are you okay," Preston asks. He is standing before me with his arms crossed over his chest. He looks void of emotion, robotic.

  "You know?" I ask him the question even though I know the answer. I can see it by the expression he wears on his face.

  "I've been standing here a while. It woke me up when you weren't in bed and I realized it's been too long for a trip to the bathroom." He squats so he can be eye level with me. "I saw everything, including the way you kissed him back when he kissed you. There is only one thing I need to know. Are you going to go back to him?"

  I'm wheezing between breaths. My head is pounding from the shortage of breath and the pain in my chest is unbearable. He wipes my tear-drenched face with the back of his hand. I can imagine this is his worst nightmare. "No. I made a promise to you. When I put on this ring, I promised you the rest of my life and I'm going to keep it. I love him, but I also love you. This is what's best for all of us. No matter which way this goes, someone is going to get hurt. It's just harder and worse than I would have ever imagined."

  He kisses me, knowing Breyson's lips were just there. It doesn't feel the same. It doesn't take me to another world. It doesn't make my heart beat uncontrollably or make me feel like I can conquer the world. When Preston kisses me, it only makes my heart mildly flutter; it only numbs the mind briefly from thought. His kiss makes me happy, but it doesn't alter my universe like when Breyson kisses me. That's the reason I know I can be with him, but he won't get hurt. Every sense and emotion is controllable and that's the justification of my choice. I will defeat my curse by not giving in to the choice it wants me to make. I will gladly accept forever damnation to know that my hands are not stained by the death of someone I love.

  "Breathe for me. I'll help you through the pain," he says as he pulls me to my feet. "You'll always be my favorite girl no matter what or who you choose, but I'm glad you chose me."

  Breyson

  Holy hell. She actually does blame herself for what happened. If she thinks I'm going to give up that easily she has another thing fucking coming. Nothing ever worth having came easily. That doesn't make hearing her say she's going to be with another man any easier. It hurts like bloody hell. The only thing that is keeping me from turning caveman right now and throwing her over my shoulder to carry her out of here is the fact that I know it won't have the desired result and she is very much pregnant with my child. I didn't fall in love with an easy woman.

  Her stubbornness drives me insane, but I've studied her. I know how to read her emotions and expressions. I vested time in her for a reason. I know she's lying. It's written all over her face. I need to remind her that we can't live without each other. She thinks I'm actually going to be happier without her? Has she completely left her brain lying around somewhere? I don't give a shit about football if she isn't there to watch me.

  I bang my fist against the frame of the door. Pushing off, I begin pacing back and forth in front of the door. I can still hear her crying on the other side. I need to formulate some kind of plan. I sure as shit am not leaving her in a hotel room with him. I admit I can't be mad that she's been with another man, but that was before and this is now. I do not share. She will be mine again; she just doesn't believe it yet.

  Something isn't sitting right with one of the things she said. Why is she worried about money for the baby? I have plenty of money invested and I added her, as the sole beneficiary should something happen to me. My attorney was supposed to be processing everything when I left. As soon as I get back home I'm going to figure out what the hell happened that she has to be taken care of by someone aside from me. Regardless, it isn't going to change anything now. She'll probably think I'm making it all up. I'm going to have to win her back another way.

  I don't hear anything on the other side of the door anymore. My mind is going crazy with the possibility of what they could be doing on the other side. I can't stand the thought of him having her again. I know he's never going to give her up willingly. Once you've had Kinzleigh you don't let her go. I know, I've had her and I've outrun death to get back to her.

  Reflexively, I bang on the door. "Kinzleigh let me in." I don't hear anything. The silence is deafening and my mind is wandering in places and playing out scenes in my head that is shouldn't be. I'm liable to kill someone. I continue to bang on the door, only louder this time. "Open the door, Kinzleigh."

  It opens and this time it's Preston standing on the other side. He's standing in nothing but a damn pair of boxers. "Look, Breyson, I know you've probably been through a lot and I like you, but she said you need to go. You're upsetting her and it's not good for the baby. I think we'll both agree we don't like to see her hurt. I'll make sure you know when he's on the way."

  I laugh sarcastically. "Says the bastard that's been trying to steal my woman since the day I claimed her." I step into his personal space. I don't know what came over me, but suddenly I'm pissed. I guess it makes a difference when you see the tool that is trying to stick his dick in the girl that is incubating your child. I don't know about spoiled rich boys, but country boys find that disrespectful.

  "Back off, Breyson." I push him backwards and he stumbles through the door. Kinzleigh is sitting on the bed holding her stomach with her face still covered in tears. Not paying attention, I'm caught off guard when he shoves me back. "I said back off. You don't get it, do you? You're only hurting her more."

  Right now I'm not thinking about anything but the seed that has been planted in my mind. I've dwelled on it and it has already begun to grow, taking over. All I see right now is red and the prick standing in front of me. I gain my footing and close in on him. "Breyson, please just leave," Kinzleigh whines behind him.

  That only triggers me further. Once I've allowed myself to drift into this depth of anger, there is no turning back until I release the adrenaline that has built up in my muscles. I stand face to face with him. My jaw begins flexing back and forth as I grit my teeth. I seethe the words as I lock my eyes with his. "You acted like a man when you fucked my girl while she was pregnant with my kid, you can be a man and face me now. Let me tell you something, Mother fucker. I don't know what kind of ethics you believe in, but down south in the eyes of a real man, that's no different than spitting in his face or screwing his wife. You may have thought I was dead, but you could have at least waited until she wasn't carrying my son to get your dick wet."

  He takes a step closer. Good. At least I know she isn't with a bitch boy. He's going to man up to his actions. He's cut, but he's still smaller than me. "Don't start something you don't want to finish."

  "Stop, Breyson. It wasn't his idea. It was mine. If you want to blame someone, blame me," she yells.

  I'm still not listening. Right now, I don
't really care whose idea it was. He made that decision and now he can face up for it. If he were a real man, he would have put his foot down out of respect for someone else, instead of thinking of himself. I bet if the roles were reversed his view on the matter would be different.

  I'm getting an itch I need to scratch. Too much anger and adrenaline has built up at this point. The fact that he is staring back at me with what appears to be a very slight smirk may have had something to do with it. I step forward at the same time my right fist comes up in a hook and slams against the left side of his jaw. Spit goes flying out of his mouth.

  The tension that was released as I hit him was euphoric, taking me to an out of body state. All I can see is him having sex with her. I punch him with my left fist, followed by my right. My limbs are now swinging on repeat. With each hit, I feel a little bit better.

  He bends forward and runs into me with his shoulder, pushing me back towards the wall until I slam into it. "Stop!" Kinzleigh's screaming is the only thing that registers. "I think my water just broke." It doesn't take that smart of a person to halt when they hear that sentence.

  I look at her and she is holding the bottom side of her belly with her legs spread shoulder width apart over a liquid puddle. Her face is red and puffy from crying and some of her blonde curls are stuck to her cheeks. We both stand, shoulder to shoulder, looking at her.

  My mood immediately changes from anger to worry. Only one thing now processes, making me feel like a dumbass. Ryland said she wasn't due for about three more weeks. Without further thought, I rush over to her. I'm scared out of my mind, but I'll never show it. "Where are your clothes? I'll get them and then take you to the hospital."

  "Like hell you are. I think you've done enough." Preston is carrying her bag in his hands and lays it flat on the bed, unzipping it.

  "It's my kid, Preston. Try and stop me."

  A high-pitched scream comes from Kinzleigh's mouth, silencing us both. "Would you two shut up? You're both acting like children. I'm the one that is going to decide who is taking me and it's neither of you. If either of you want to be there for the birth of this baby, then you can ride together and fix your shit. I'm riding with Ryland. I dare either of you to stop me."

  She walks over to her bag and grabs a pair of clothes to change into. I don't know what to say. I don't think I've ever heard her curse nor do I remember her having that fiery of an attitude. It’s like Halloween night on steroids. I'm a little stunned to be honest.

  We both stand here and watch her as she stomps towards a door on the other side of the room. She stops halfway and doubles over as if in pain. I start to move in her direction, as does Preston. When we get close she holds out her hand, stopping us. "Don't touch me." Her voice sounds pained. "If either of you love me, you'll call Ryland and tell him to come help me."

  I watch her, helplessly, as she tries to straighten up and waddle to the bathroom. "Fuck!" I press inward on my forehead with the heels of my hands. I'm about to be a father and instead of acting like a man I'm letting my temper control me like a boy. I feel like banging my head against a brick wall. I refuse to miss the birth of my son because I was acting like an ass.

  I fish my phone out of my pocket and unlock the screen. I dial Ryland's number from memory and press call. Two rings and he answers the phone. "What's up?"

  "I need you to come up and get Kinzleigh. She's in labor." I hold my breath and wait for the question I know is coming.

  "Dude, what the hell? What did you do to her?" I can hear the truck door slam in my ear. "I knew better than to do this shit. Breyson, I told you not to fuck with her."

  He continues to mumble line after line of things that are not going to change the situation at hand. I'm really not in the mood, but because I don't want to rev up my temper anymore I listen to him ramble and bitch like a little girl. "Just hurry up," I say and hang up the call.

  I look at Preston and he's staring daggers at me. I return the gesture. "Are we going to do this? We might as well go ahead and get it over with."

  "Look, I'm sorry if you feel that us being together disrespected you, but you weren't here, Breyson. You didn't have to see her in the state she was in. Did I mention waiting until we got married? Yes, I did, but I also want to see if you could tell her no when you've had to watch her drown in pain and misery. Excuse fucking me if I gave in and gave her some of what she wanted in an attempt to make her happy. I wasn't thinking of what Breyson would want, I was thinking of a way to help her stop thinking of you long enough to put a damn smile on her face. Whether you like it or not, we both love her. One of us is going to lose. There is nothing we can do about that. That's just the result of falling in love with the same girl. You can make this difficult on her if you want to, but I'm staying around until she takes my ring off her finger and tells me she wants me to leave."

  He walks past me to the suitcase with his hand on his jaw as if he's realigning it. I won't lose. I can't...It's not in me to carry on living without her, but he's right. There is only room for one of us in her life in the way we both want to be. We are going to have to fight for her heart. Whoever can win it over, wins her. This is going to be a battle fought with love not muscle. Bring it on.

  Kinzleigh

  I clutch onto the rail of the hospital bed with each contraction. It feels like a menstrual cramp times one hundred. If I close my eyes and breathe through it, I can handle it. The hospital door opens and a girl not much older than me walks in. "Hi. I just need to get registration and insurance information."

  Preston is sitting on one side of the bed and Breyson on the other. They cannot both be seriously staying in here the whole time. This is awkward. Preston stands. "I got it." He leans down and kisses me on the forehead. "I'll be right back." I don't want to look at Breyson right now. I don't think I can.

  Thankfully I don't have to, because the doctor walks in. She's a young blonde in a pair of royal blue scrubs. She couldn't have been an attending but a few years. I really hope she's here to bring me some pain medication, because I've been here for two hours and my contractions are getting more intense and closer together. She hasn't checked me since I came in and was at three centimeters.

  The machine beside me beeps every few seconds monitoring the baby and the pattern of the contractions. The low swooshing sound originating from the heart rate monitor strapped on my stomach reminds me that there is a living being inside of me. The doctor pulls on a pair of latex gloves and stands at the end of the table between my legs. I grit my teeth as another contraction starts. "I'm going to check you and see if you're dilated far enough for an epidural."

  I nod and look at the ceiling as she puts one hand on my inner thigh to keep me from closing my legs and the other disappears under the sheets. If I wasn't in so much pain this would be really awkward. I'll never get used to this for as long as I live. "Mmmmm."

  I look at the doctor's face. I don't like wordless answers. It's usually not a good thing. I'm hesitant to ask, but I do anyway. "What's wrong?" Breyson grabs my hand in his. I pretend I don't notice, but I do, and I choose to ignore the fact that it is calming me.

  "You're dilated too far to get an epidural. You're already at eight centimeters. You'll be ready to push in thirty minutes." Each time a contraction starts, the pain is the complete focus of everything and some last longer than others.

  "You've got to be kidding. Please tell me you're joking. I cannot push this baby out without any medication." The thought is beginning to bring back the anxiety that I recently got rid of when they gave me a shot of Stadol to dull the pain. It's a worthless drug really. It makes you feel drunk and you can still feel the pain.

  "You can and you will. You have no choice. It's too late to give you an epidural. I'll be back to check you in a little bit and we should be ready to meet your baby." She smiles and it's enough to make me cringe. I'm glad someone is bouncy and in a good mood, because it sure isn't me.

  "How do you feel?" I look at Breyson and he's sitting as close to me as he
can get.

  "I've been better." He always did have the most beautiful blue eyes. You look at them once and you get lost in their depth. I've discovered you read a lot about a person by looking into their eyes. The eyes are the only part of a person that can't lie.

  He places his hand on my belly. "We're going to be parents today, strange huh?"

  "Yes, I suppose it is." He squeezes my hand and I'll never admit it, but everything feels right in the world. Right now, I finally understand that phrase, by whom I don't know, It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. This moment is beautiful. He's beautiful. I'll never trade in a single second of our time together, because a fraction in time with him is better than the life I would have had if I would have never met him.

  "I've missed you, Kinzleigh. Not a day went by that I didn't dream of you or think of you. I couldn't have picked a better mother for my child. It’s time for us to grow up, just a little earlier than we would have originally planned." I close my eyes as I let his voice soothe me. I'm not strong when I'm around him. You can't lasso your heart when it's already soaring high in the sky. You might as well sit back and just let it fly.

  I open my eyes and I can feel them filling, blurring the sight in front of me. "I've missed you too. God knows I've wished for this day so many times since you've been gone. No matter what happens, know that I'll always love you, Brey; never doubt that."

  "Then don't give up on us. Don't take the easy way out. I may not be able to give you the stars, but I can try my best. I'll never let you or Bryce do without. I'm just asking you to trust me." If only he knew how much I wanted to, but that's just it. Giving in to him would be the easy way. Letting him go is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do, but it's a price I'll pay for him being alive.