The Swear Jar

by Osorio, Audra

  “I feel this is my fault. Meara did such a great job today. I wanted to thank her. Let me order pizza for everyone,” said Duncan.

  “Do you see, Meara? Making the poor man feel guilty! What do you have to say for yourself?” asked Ben, wagging a finger at her.

  “Duncan, it wasn’t your fault. I’m a klutz. It was my fault. You don’t have to feed my entire family out of guilt!” said Meara.

  “Here’s the deal, Duncan. We haven’t found a good pizza place yet. How about you order the pizza from your favorite place and we’ll pay for it? Anne can eat enough pizza to wipe out a whole month’s salary,” Diana laughed.

  “Deal,” Duncan said. “Next time, it’s on me.”

  “Is this your first date then?” asked Anne.

  Meara wished the floor would open up and swallow her. She wanted to kill Anne. Meara shrank back against the couch cushions.

  Duncan smiled. “Anne, your aunt and I will discuss that later. Let’s call this a group date. Who wants soda?”

  Meara’s hand shot up. “I do!”

  Ben, Diana and Anne were shocked. Meara tried to smile sweetly, but she had an evil grin.

  “Absolutely not!” Diana cried. “Do we look crazy?”

  “What am I missing?” Duncan asked Anne.

  Anne replied, “Aunt Meara’s not allowed to caffeinated beverages after 7pm. It makes her hyper and she bounces off the walls.”

  “I’m glad I’m learning this before our first date.”

  “You people are SO funny,” said Meara. “You people are SO lucky I can’t get up.”

  Duncan said, “Anne, your aunt should come with a manual.”

  Anne chirped up. “She does! I’ll go get it and be right back.”

  “I’ll call for pizza and no soda for Meara, got it,” Duncan laughed, not looking at Meara.

  “I’ll get the plates, cups and napkins,” said Ben.

  “I’ll get some Tylenol for her majesty,” Diana chuckled.

  Meara grimaced. “And I’ll be right where you left me. In pain, hungry and cranky.”

  Diana returned with Tylenol and a glass of water. “Here you go, big baby. What’s this about a date?”

  Meara lowered her voice. “The group was supposed to have pizza, but we didn’t. Duncan and I were left alone. I went up the ladder and he asked me out. I got nervous and fell. I couldn’t help it.”

  Ben and Diana set up the coffee table for dinner. Ben grabbed Meara’s throw pillows and placed them around the table. He set Duncan’s place next to her on the couch. She glared while Ben feigned innocence. Having called the pizzeria from his cell phone, Duncan returned from the kitchen.

  “Duncan, can you keep Meara quiet? I’m going to get her a doctor’s appointment for tomorrow. If she twitches, work your magic on her.”

  “Doctor? Appointment? What?” Meara sputtered.

  “Now Meara, let Diana call. That ankle looks pretty awful. You should have it checked,” Duncan said, lowering his voice to a seductive growl when they were alone. “Do you want me to spank you in front of your family?”

  “No, Duncan,” squeaked Meara. “You won’t tell them, will you?”

  “I won’t tell them. It’s our secret. I do hope it’s only my magic that works on you.”

  “Yes, Duncan. It’s only your magic.”

  He kissed her dimple. “Good.”

  Anne ran into the house. She was carrying two spiral notebooks, one new and pink, and the other battered and dark blue. Anne bounced onto the couch next to Duncan and Meara. Diana and Ben came over to see what Anne had brought. Diana recognized the pink notebook as Anne’s. Diana didn’t recognize the dark blue one. Standing behind Anne to get a better look, Diana froze when she saw the handwriting. Anne put her finger on the top line of text.

  “I have it right here. The Rules of Meara Martin. She comes with a manual!” Anne said excitedly. “DO NOT give her caffeine. DO NOT give her diary products. DO NOT let her use a ladder. DO NOT attempt to touch her or hug her. DO NOT say she can’t do something since she will take it as a personal challenge and do it anyway. DO NOT pass up a chance to tease her since she hates to be teased. It’s fun to watch her get mad, but if she stops talking, run.”

  Meara asked quietly, “My whole life has been reduced to six rules?”

  She struggled to be light-hearted. Duncan slipped his hand into hers and squeezed. She returned the pressure and heaved a small sigh.

  “There’s one more on the next page,” Anne said, oblivious to Meara’s discomfort.

  “What’s the final nail in my coffin? This has turned into the day from Hell,” Meara said. “And before you say anything about owing you money, put it on my tab.”

  “The seventh rule is DO NOT upset the intricately balanced, complex creature that is Meara. The best thing to do is let Meara be Meara. She’s too difficult to fathom,” Anne grinned.

  Meara could hardly breathe. “Anne, did you write that yourself or did you have help? The vocabulary is impressive.”

  “I had some help. And there was the thesaurus you gave me for Christmas,” Anne said. “You see, Mr. Phillips, Aunt Meara does have her own manual.”

  “I see, Anne,” Duncan said quietly. “I believe in rules. Rules keep you safe or help guide you. But sometimes, rules need to be challenged. Sometimes they need to be broken or changed. I agree Meara should be Meara. She’s worth getting to know. I hope to fathom her someday.”

  The doorbell rang. The tension was broken. Ben and Duncan went for the door. Diana grabbed Anne, pulling her towards Meara’s bedroom. Meara wished she had a dictionary because when Duncan said fathom, he had winked mischievously. Her heart had skipped a beat. She wondered who had helped Anne with the rules, especially the last one. Ben and Duncan returned with the pizza and soda. Diana and Anne were in Meara’s bedroom with the door closed.

  “What’s wrong, Mom?” asked Anne.

  “Anne, where did you get that notebook?” Diana snapped. “Who gave it to you?”

  “It’s Uncle Hank’s notebook,” Anne said. “He gave it to me. He knew I wanted to read. He thought this might help. I wanted to read Uncle Hank’s things. Why are you so mad?”

  “May I see the notebook?” asked Diana with her hand out.

  “Of course,” Anne said. “What did I do wrong?”

  “Aunt Meara and Duncan are friends. They might like each other. She doesn’t need to come with a set of rules. Part of a relationship is finding out those things for yourself. Aunt Meara doesn’t need to be reminded of Uncle Hank while sitting next to Duncan. How many of the rules were yours and how many were Hank’s?”

  “Uncle Hank and I worked on most of them. The last two were mostly his. Why?”

  “They might have been funny when you and Hank worked on them, but they’re a little mean. We love Meara. The last rule is totally Hank’s. It even sounds like him. I hope Meara hasn’t figured that out.”

  “Uncle Hank said something not nice about Aunt Meara?” asked Anne, her face beginning to cloud.

  “I’m saying Uncle Hank wasn’t willing to understand her. I hate to burst your bubble about Uncle Hank. He was a nice guy, but sometimes he would hurt her feelings. It was hard for Meara when he wouldn’t listen to her. And you know how I feel about your Aunt Meara.”

  “I do. Should we tell her about Uncle Hank’s notebook?” asked Anne, sniffling a little.

  “Yes, but not now. She’s having a good time with Duncan. Let’s not mess that up,” Diana said, hugging Anne. “It’s not your fault, Anne. Sometimes adults’ feelings are a little more complicated than they look at first.”

  “That’s what Aunt Meara said.”

  Diana frowned. “Anne, there are pages missing.”

  “Uncle Hank wrote something and ripped the pages out. He put them in an envelope and sealed it. He wrote Aunt Meara’s name on it and gave it to me.”

  “Did you ever give it to her?”

  “No. He told me to give it to her when she makes a big change i
n her life. I haven’t seen any big changes.”

  “There may be some big changes coming soon. Let’s get back to the others. Remember, don’t say anything. We will handle it some other time.”

  They sat around the coffee table and ate pizza. Everyone was laughing and sharing news. Anne chatted about her summer camp. Diana vented about a project at work that wasn’t going well. Ben talked about their upcoming trip to Spain. Duncan hesitated, but the others wanted him to share. He explained how Sunday was his grandson John’s third birthday. Meara, Diana and Anne cooed when Duncan showed them John’s picture.

  Meara said, “He has your smile.”

  “Thank you,” Duncan said. “What are you up to this weekend, Meara?”

  “It looks like I’m going to the doctor tomorrow. Unless you couldn’t get an appointment, Diana?” she asked hopefully.

  “I got you an appointment with Dr. Wong,” Diana said.

  “Dr. Wong? She’s a gynecologist. What does she know about ankles?” she asked anxiously.

  “It’s either Dr. Wong or the veterinarian. It’s your choice. Maybe we should get your rabies and distemper shots updated just in case you decide to bite Duncan,” Diana smirked.

  “Thank you, I appreciate it,” Duncan chuckled. “Any other plans, Meara?”

  “I’m not getting far and it’s my own fault. I should clean up the paint at the library,” said Meara.

  “Absolutely not,” he said. “Keep off that ankle all weekend.”

  “See Diana! I don’t need a doctor. Duncan’s got the right prescription. Rest!” she exclaimed.

  Diana shot Meara a withering look. Duncan recognized that look as similar to the one Anne had gotten the day they met. He was enjoying getting to know her family. He didn’t want the night to end. With dinner over, Ben swept up the plates while Diana gathered the leftover pizza and soda. Anne asked to be excused to water the garden. He was left sitting with her on the couch.

  “How’s your ankle?” he asked, holding her hand.

  “It’s a little better now with the Tylenol. Thank you for everything. I don’t know what I would have done without you, Sir Duncan,” she said shyly.

  Diana picked up the throw pillows and kissed Meara’s forehead. Duncan stood up. Ben and Diana shook his hand.

  “We’re going now. Ben and I will pick up your Jeep in the morning. We’ll keep Anne locked up tonight. It was good to finally meet you, Duncan. We hope to see you again soon,” Diana said.

  “It was nice meeting you too. Anne is a wonderful young lady,” he said.

  “Thank you. She’s also a handful,” laughed Ben.

  Once the front door was closed, Duncan sat back down. Meara shifted uneasily. He slipped his hand into hers and massaged her fingers.

  “Duncan,” she said.

  “Yes, Meara?” he asked mischievously, pulling her closer until her head rested on his shoulder. “Do you want me to leave?”

  “No. We should talk about what happened at the library.”

  “When you fell off the ladder?”

  “No, after that.”

  “Bringing you home?”

  “No, before that.”

  “I don’t remember. It’s been a long day. Remind me again what happened.” He looked at her quizzically.

  “You kissed me!” She was indignant.

  “Did I? I don’t remember that.” His eyes danced merrily.

  She wrinkled her nose. “You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

  “A little. I remember doing this.” He kissed her dimple.

  “Yes, that’s what started it. It got a little fuzzy after that, but it started with a kiss.”

  “What do you want to talk about?” He gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

  “I think we should talk about what’s happening.”

  “You don’t like what’s happening?” He kissed her again and she returned the pressure.

  “I do. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.”

  He pulled away, suddenly serious. “What do you mean?”

  “You asked me out today. Is that right?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “But we skipped the first date and went for the first kiss, would you agree?”

  “We did.”

  “And a little more than the first kiss, right?”

  “Yes, I’ll agree with that.”

  “Are we going too fast? I don’t want you to think. I don’t know how to say it. Can we slow down?”

  “We’re not going too fast. We’ve know each other for two months. We’ve worked together every day. If the visit to Maple Tree Farm was our first date, with Anne as chaperone, then kissing you today wouldn’t be so hasty. Tonight would be our second date, with your family as chaperones.” He kissed her.

  “That’s true. And you gave me those lovely flowers on my first day. You’ve been wooing me since the farm trip, haven’t you?”

  “Yes, I have. You’re not the type of woman who goes too fast. I understand you’re cautious and old-fashioned.” He kissed her again.

  “I’m glad you understand. One more question.” She held up her index finger.

  “Yes, dear Meara.” He nuzzled her neck.

  “You said you didn’t picture our first time making love to be in a bathroom. It’s made me a little nervous. I’m not ready for that. I’m not sure what your expectations are.”

  He placed a finger on her lips. “Shhh, I told you we had all the time in the world. There’s no rush. I don’t expect anything from you but your company. I’ve been thinking about us making love. Haven’t you?”

  “Did you just shush me?” she asked, astonished.

  “Yes. Yes I did. Don’t you think about us together? If not, maybe I’ve been wasting my time and you aren’t interested in me.” He pulled away.

  She pulled him closer. “No, Duncan, no. You haven’t been wasting your time. I’m interested in you. I do think about us, together. I haven’t…dated…in five years.”

  “Let’s see where this goes then, nice and slow. And I haven’t…dated…in ten years. I’m not interested in casual relationships. You’re not the only one who is old-fashioned. Good things are worth waiting for. I was waiting for you. I promise you, Meara, I want us to make love, not have sex.” He held her face, kissing her. “You just have to remember I find you irresistible. I might get a little carried away. Tell me when you want me to stop.”

  “Okay,” she said, breathless.

  “Do you want me to stop?” he growled.

  “No,” she whispered. “Don’t stop.”

  He carefully placed her leg behind him. The leg with the bad ankle remained on the floor. He cradled her head, slowly pushing her down on the couch. He positioned himself between her legs, careful not to press down on her. He kissed her. He nuzzled her neck. She panted. He found her breast, slowly massaging her nipple with his thumb. He gently rolled his hips towards her. She let out a low moan. She moved her hips closer to his waist.

  He kissed down from her neck to her breasts, licking between them. She arched her back and he rolled his hips towards her. She gasped. He thrust towards her. She became more aroused. Her breathing came in short rasps as she ran her hands along his sides. She suddenly went rigid, stopped breathing and let out a low groan. He was afraid he had hurt her, but she went wild in his arms. She thrust her hips and ran her hands over him. She kissed him deeply, probing his mouth with her tongue.

  All he could do was hold onto her. She was making him lose control. He wanted her. She panted and moaned in his ear. He thrust again and she arched her back. She went rigid and let out several shuddering breaths. She grew quiet in his arms, but continued to press against him. His head clearing, he stopped although he didn’t want to. He wasn’t sure what had happened, but he had a good idea. Carefully withdrawing from her, he pulled her to a sitting position. She had a confused look on her face. He held her close and kissed her forehead.

  He whispered in her ear. “You could have warned a guy.”
/>   “I’m sorry.” She pulled away from him, tearing up and squirming. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Wait. Stop. What are you talking about?” he asked, holding her tight.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, not looking into his eyes.

  He lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, Meara. I don’t mean to be vulgar, but all we did was dry hump and you had two orgasms.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. I ruined it. You have…had…you know. Do you want me to…to…help you?” She blushed.

  He pulled her close, breathing in her ear. “What do you mean? Help me? Meara, not to be vulgar again, but are you offering me a hand job or a blowjob?”

  She buried her red face in his chest. “Which one do you want?”

  She could be innocent and sexy as hell at the same time. He felt a little dizzy thinking about her offer. If he nudged her back down onto the couch, he would not be able to control himself.

  He exhaled audibly. “Meara, I’m extremely turned on by you. If I hadn’t stopped, I would have stripped you naked and had sex with you right on this couch. Why would you think you ruined it?”

  “Because I…I shouldn’t have…distracted you.”

  “Distracted me? You’re a multi-orgasmic roller coaster ride. It was all I could do to hold on to you. I stopped because I was losing control. You didn’t ruin it at all. It’s just the opposite.”

  “Really?” she asked quietly.

  Tilting her chin up again, this time he was angry. “Someone told you being the way you are isn’t right, is that it? Tell me.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “I was told having multiple orgasms was irritating,” Meara whispered.

  Taking a few deep breaths, Duncan growled. “Hank?”

  “Yes.” She looked miserably uncomfortable.

  “Hank was a fool if he didn’t know what a fantastically sexy woman he had in his life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being the way you are.” He wanted to pull her back into his arms.

  She bowed her head. “It happened a few times in the beginning. It bothered him, so I stopped. After a while, he and I weren’t intimate very often. I shouldn’t be telling you this.”