The Everafter War

by Michael Buckley

  Henry shook his head. “I have some money—enough to get us a hotel for the night. Tomorrow we can tackle our bank accounts.”

  “Tomorrow is Sunday,” Veronica said. “The banks will be closed.”

  Henry stumbled but righted himself quickly. “I’ll figure something out.”

  “Daphne and I slept in plenty of homeless shelters when we ran away from foster families,” Sabrina offered. “I know which places will take us.”

  “Oh, goody!” Veronica cried, sarcastically. “Our problems have been solved!”

  Henry fumed. “I would rather have us sleeping in a gutter before we spend another night in this forsaken town! I know you don’t agree with how I’m doing it, but I’m going to protect this family. I can’t do that if we’re in Ferryport Landing, surrounded by this Everafter craziness. And to be perfectly clear, I don’t want anyone in this family around any Everafters. And that includes the ones who live in New York City!”

  Veronica’s face fell. “You were eavesdropping?”

  “You lied to me!”

  “I had to! I knew you wouldn’t approve, and I was trying to help. Isn’t that what Grimms do?”

  “Don’t throw that silly catchphrase at me,” Henry snapped.

  “Well.” Veronica steeled herself. “Now that the secret’s out, you must know that there are at least two hundred Everafters running around Manhattan. So, if you’re trying to get away from them—”

  “Not a problem,” Henry interrupted. “We’re moving.”

  “Moving!” Sabrina gasped, appalled. Moving away from New York City was not part of the dream reunion she had been imagining.

  “Yes, we’ll move far away! To somewhere no Everafter would want to live!”

  “Like where?”

  “I don’t know. Canton, maybe.”

  “Canton, Ohio!” Veronica groaned. “No one wants to live in Canton, Ohio! I don’t want to live in Canton, Ohio!”

  “It doesn’t matter where we move, as long as it’s boring,” Henry shouted. “We’ll find someplace where the mayor isn’t royalty and the local police aren’t magical transforming pigs!”

  “Actually, the Sheriff of Nottingham is running the police department now,” Sabrina corrected.

  “I miss Elvis,” Daphne whimpered.

  Veronica turned to face her husband. “So, you’re laying down the law, huh? Do I get a say in any of this, or am I supposed to play the dutiful wife? Perhaps you’d like me to put on an apron and make you a pot roast, too?”

  Henry scowled. “Veronica, that’s a bit dramatic.”

  “I miss Elvis,” Daphne repeated.

  “You’re not going to drag me and the girls through this world, hiding from pixies and fairy godmothers. They’re out there, and most of them are not bad people.”

  “Pixies are not people,” Henry snapped. “And don’t you try to tell me about Everafters. I’ve lived side by side with them most of my life. My mother’s best friend is one! I used to be in love with one!”

  “I’m painfully aware of your love life, Henry Grimm.” Veronica seethed. “I woke up this morning from a two-year sleep to find your old girlfriend sitting over you with her big moon eyes!”

  “Veronica! I can’t believe you’re jealous,” Henry whined.

  Sabrina didn’t know much about adult relationships, but she was pretty sure it was a mistake to accuse your wife of being jealous of an old girlfriend. Her mother looked like a volcano preparing to explode.

  “JEALOUS?!”

  Henry sputtered. “I didn’t exactly mean—”

  “What do I have to be jealous about?” she cried. “I’m the best thing that ever happened to you, pal! You hit the lottery when you met me! I’m smart. I’m funny. I can throw a sixty-mile-an-hour fastball! And, I’m a babe!”

  Henry’s face turned bright red. “I am the luckiest man in the world.”

  “You’ve got that right!” she cried, and after a moment she took a deep breath and continued. “Henry, we’re still a family—a team—and we’re supposed to make decisions together. There has to be a smarter way to keep all of us safe. I—wait, where’s Daphne?”

  Sabrina spun around, but her sister was nowhere to be found. “She must have gone back to see Elvis.”

  “Wait here. I’ll go get her,” Henry said. He took off running back the way they’d come, leaving Veronica and Sabrina alone. They shared a glance and then raced after him. Henry’s voice rang through the forest. He called out for Daphne, demanding she come back, but he was wasting his breath. Daphne was stubborn—maybe even more stubborn than Sabrina—and when she wanted to do something, there was no talking her out of it.

  When Sabrina and Veronica finally caught up with Henry, he was standing with Daphne in a clearing of trees with his hand clamped around her arm.

  “This is unacceptable, young lady,” he scolded.

  “I’m not leaving,” Daphne said. “They need us.”

  “What makes you think you can do anything to help?” Henry demanded. “You’re only five years old!”

  “Dad, she’s seven,” Sabrina corrected.

  “Eight in two weeks!” Daphne snapped. “And, I’ve fought plenty of bad guys in the last year. I'm a Grimm. This is what I do!”

  Just then, no fewer than a dozen hulking figures stepped out from behind the trees, surrounding the family. They each stood nearly seven feet tall, with bumpy gray skin like that of an alligator. Their eyes were enormous and bloodshot, and their ears were pointy and covered in what looked like porcupine quills. A few held long spears, and others clung to clubs with dozens of rusty spikes nailed into them. Sabrina recognized them as hobgoblins.

  One of the monsters stepped forward. His chest was decorated in gaudy medals and his face in scars. Like all of the hobgoblins, his chest was painted with the mark of the Scarlet Hand. He surveyed the Grimms, and then his face lit up with a sick grin.

  “I knew I recognized the foul stink that comes off humans, but I never suspected we’d find ones who are so famous,” he said.

  “You want an autograph?” Sabrina grumbled. Henry shot her a look that told her to keep her mouth shut.

  A second monster lumbered forward to join his leader. “They must be coming from Charming’s camp,” he said. “They’ve allied themselves with the traitor and his troublemakers.”

  “That means it must be nearby,” the leader crowed. He turned back to the family and gnashed his crooked, yellow teeth. “Now, let’s avoid any unpleasantness, shall we? Tell us where the camp is.”

  “We don’t have any idea what you’re talking about,” Henry lied. “We’re not coming from any camp. My family and I are just out for a picnic.”

  The hobgoblin leaped forward until his face was only an inch from Henry’s. “You’re lying. All of you Grimms lie.”

  “That’s not a very nice thing to say,” Henry said. “I’m hurt.”

  “If you don’t tell me where the camp is, there’s a lot more hurt coming.”

  Henry shook his head. “We’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. Let’s start over. My family is not involved with Charming. We have refused to take a side in your conflict, and we are on our way to the train station now. So, if you’ll kindly step aside and let us pass, we’ll get out of your hair.”

  “You’ll go where I tell you, human,” the monster snorted, and then turned to his men. “Bind their hands. If they won’t tell us where the fort is, we’ll beat the answer out of them, starting with the children.”

  One of the hobgoblins clamped his hands down on Sabrina’s arms. She tried to pull free, but he was too strong. She stomped her heel down hard on his exposed toes, and he yelped in agony.

  “Why, you little terror. I’m going to tear your arms off and hit you with them,” he threatened.

  There was a flash of fists and feet, loud groans, and the cracking of bones. At first, Sabrina couldn’t tell who had arrived to rescue them, but it soon became clear that her mother and father had leaped into action.

&nb
sp; Henry was like a tornado, whipping from one hobgoblin to the next, planting punches with incredible accuracy. The way he fought looked like dancing; he was kicking and punching to a rhythm only he could hear.

  Veronica was not quite so elegant. She snatched a thick branch off the forest floor and clubbed anyone who got close. Sabrina remembered one evening when her parents took her to the boardwalk at Coney Island. At the batting cages, Henry and Veronica decided to see who could hit the most fastballs. Veronica won by a landslide, smacking the balls hard into the netting. The monsters’ ribs and heads weren’t nearly as hard as baseballs, but she swung for the fences anyway. Working together, Henry and Veronica managed to take out eight of the monsters.

  Sabrina looked over at her sister. “Our parents are so gravy.”

  Daphne scowled. “That’s not how you say it.”

  “Girls, run for the camp!” Henry shouted as he fought off a hobgoblin who was charging at him with a spear in hand.

  “No, we can help,” Daphne challenged, assuming the fighting stance she’d learned in Ms. White’s self-defense class.

  “Listen to your father!” Veronica cried, smashing her branch into the belly of one of the beasts and knocking him to the ground.

  Sabrina snatched her sister by the hand and pulled her down the path toward the fortress.

  “We have to go back!” Daphne said. “We can’t just leave them.”

  “Our parents are tough,” Sabrina said, doing her best to sound confident. “They’ll be right behind us.”

  The girls ran and ran. By the time they came to Charming’s camp, Sabrina was so spent, she could barely shout for help. A sentry appeared in a tower and aimed a magic wand at them. “Stand back, invaders!” he shouted, as blast of white-hot fire exploded at Sabrina’s feet.

  “Open the gate!” Sabrina cried. “It’s Sabrina and Daphne Grimm! Monsters are chasing us!”

  The sentry blew a whistle, and the big gates swung open.

  Before the girls could take a single step inside, a regiment of knights on horseback charged past them. The girls were nearly trampled before Charming rushed to their side with his silver sword in hand. He snatched Sabrina by the arm. “Where are these monsters?” he shouted.

  Sabrina pointed back the way they’d come. “There are at least a dozen, maybe more. They’re attacking my mom and dad.”

  “You fools! You may have led them to us,” he cried in disgust.

  “Freaky monsters were trying to kill us,” Sabrina said. “Should we have just died out there so you could keep your clubhouse secret?”

  “Absolutely!” the prince said.

  “I knew you’d come back,” Puck said, as she strolled through the gate. “You got it bad for me, don’t you?”

  Sabrina would have slugged the fairy boy, but just then Henry and Veronica appeared, looking slightly worse for wear. Henry’s lip was bloody, and Veronica had a long scratch on her right arm.

  “How many were there?” Charming demanded.

  “Fourteen that we saw,” Henry replied. “They’re hobgoblins. We managed to subdue twelve of them. If you walk along the path, you’ll find them.”

  “And the other two?”

  “They ran,” Veronica said, still clinging to her heavy branch. “Cowards.”

  Charming pulled a knight aside and ordered him to gather as many of the Merry Men as he could. “Find those hobgoblins. If they get back to the Hand, they’ll reveal where we are, and we’ll be overrun by nightfall!”

  A moment later, a well-armed posse of archers and swordsmen was racing out into the forest.

  4

  Before nightfall, the camp received more than three dozen new Everafter refugees. They looked tired and broken. Many shared tales of brutal beatings, threats, and murder.

  Mr. Canis called them “guests” and informed them that in joining the camp they had an obligation to all the other refugees. Each person would be assigned tasks the next morning based on their occupations or talents, but until then they should try to get some rest and something to eat. Robin Hood’s wife, Marian, led the newcomers on a tour and then to the supply tent for fresh clothes. She promised hot meals and clean bunks.

  Charming marched through the camp spreading news of the hobgoblin attack. The story seemed to startle everyone, especially the recent arrivals.

  “The Hand is bringing the fight to us!” the prince said. “It’s time to prepare for war.”

  But his call to action didn’t produce his desired response. He was largely ignored. Many of the Everafters said they didn’t want to get involved, even if they were shaken by the prince’s dark predictions. By the end of the day, only six more refugees had volunteered to join Snow White’s militia.

  Dinner was served in the courtyard as the sun sank below the tree line. Morgan le Fey conjured enough tables and folding chairs for everyone. The magic tables came complete with plates, utensils, and drinking glasses. Mr. Seven lit torches so everyone could see. The refugees stood in a long line for their share of beans, brown bread, potatoes, and corn.

  Sabrina and her family, along with Red, dined together. Granny Relda invited Mr. Canis to join, but he claimed he needed to get back to his meditation. Goldilocks and her bears were invited as well, but Goldie seemed nervous around Henry, and she said that they were going to help in the kitchen. Geppetto and Pinocchio, however, happily accepted the invite.

  “Good evening, all,” Pinocchio said. “My father has spoken highly of your family. He considers you some of his dearest friends. I’m quite honored to make your acquaintance.”

  Sabrina couldn’t help staring at Pinocchio. If the story was true, Geppetto had carved him from a solid block of wood, but now he was flesh and blood. What threw her the most about the boy wasn’t his magical transformation, but how he spoke to everyone. He was so proper and mature, but he looked so young.

  “Nice to meet you, too,” Granny Relda said. “Your father has told us endless stories about you. He’s a very proud papa.”

  “Indeed,” Geppetto said, giving the boy a hug.

  “So, where have you been?” Puck asked the odd little boy.

  “That’s a little rude,” Veronica said.

  Puck let out a tremendous belch. “You think so?”

  “It’s not much of a tale, I’m afraid,” the little boy said.

  “Then skip it,” Puck said, piling beans into his mouth. “We’ve spent entirely too much time discussing things other than me.”

  Granny rolled her eyes. “Puck, please. Let Pinocchio speak.”

  “Very well. I’m confident Papa told you about our missed connection aboard the Grimm vessel.”

  “What’s a vessel?” Daphne asked.

  “The layman calls it a boat,” Pinocchio explained.

  “What’s a layman?” Daphne asked.

  “Oh dear. The schools in this town are failing the youth,” Pinocchio said.

  Daphne frowned but said nothing.

  “I have never cared for the sea after a very disturbing encounter with a great white shark. I also had a bit of trouble on an island off the coast of Italy where children were transformed into donkeys. Thus, I prefer to stay landlocked whenever possible.”

  “I wonder how hard it would be to hide a shark under someone’s pillow,” Puck whispered to Sabrina. She shook a threatening fist at him.

  “So I returned to Italy and took a few odd jobs,” Pinocchio continued. “I was an apprentice at a newspaper and learned to work a printing press. The paper wasn’t much to speak of—mostly propaganda—but it was a valuable trade until I was forced to move on.”

  “Oh dear, what happened?” his father asked.

  “It’s this infernal spell the Blue Fairy put on me. It made me a real boy, but it prevents me from growing any older. To avoid anyone noticing, I had to move on frequently, unable to put down any roots or get ahead in a profession. I made the horrible blunder of sticking around for too long once in Eastern Europe, and the superstitious townspeople chased me with
torches and pitchforks. Do yourself a favor and stay away from Transylvania.”

  “Oh, but that’s not because of the spell. It’s ’cause you’re an Everafter. You have to decide to get older, or you’ll stay the same age forever,” Daphne explained.

  “Alas, no,” the boy replied. “My condition is unique even amongst my people. I believe I am trapped at this age due to the wish the Blue Fairy granted. I asked to be a real boy. Not to be a real boy who grows into a man.”

  “You have to be real specific with wishes,” Sabrina said, sympathetically.

  “The Blue Fairy lives here in town,” Daphne said. “We could help you find her. Maybe she could fix the wish.”

  “Thank you, but no,” Pinocchio said. “Like your sister said, her wish granting leaves a little to be desired. If I asked her to let me grow up, she’d probably make it so that I grew all the way to the moon. I’ll seek other options.”

  “It wasn’t all bad now, pine seed,” Geppetto said, continuing the story. “He’s had quite a life and has gotten to see beautiful parts of the world. He was an artist’s assistant in Spain and sold kites in the markets in Paris. He lived in the Taj Mahal for a month before security guards found him. And, he was a shoeshine boy on the Orient Express.”

  “It sounds like an adventure,” Henry said.

  “I guess it could be seen in that manner,” Pinocchio said. “Papa, I believe I found the magical forest of enchanted wood you used to carve my original body.”

  “Marvelous!” Geppetto said, clapping his hands. “I thought those woods were destroyed by a forest fire.”

  “Unfortunately, what you heard is true. Shortly after I discovered it, every tree was consumed by a mysterious blaze.”

  “How tragic,” his father said.

  “I’d like to know how you ended up here in the camp,” Henry pressed.

  Pinocchio shifted uncomfortably. “I had a great deal of savings from my many occupations, so I purchased an airplane ticket on the Internet. I landed in New York City and boarded the next train for Ferryport Landing. Once I arrived, it was clear that trouble was afoot, but I searched for my father nonetheless. During my inquiries, I met a young man who led me here. He was quite peculiar. He has a pumpkin for a head.”