The Everafter War

by Michael Buckley

  “Jack Pumpkinhead,” Granny said. “He’s from Oz. They’re all a little peculiar.”

  “I couldn’t be happier, pine seed.” Geppetto beamed. “After dinner you must show everyone your marionettes.”

  Granny smiled. “So you are a puppet-maker as well?”

  “Like father, like son,” Geppetto said, beaming with pride.

  They hugged again. Sabrina looked over at her own father, who was busy studying his map of the town. It was clear he was looking for another way out of Ferryport Landing.

  Nurse Sprat approached the table. She wore a smock with a red cross on the front. She had once worked at the Ferryport Landing Memorial Hospital, where she had been responsible for looking after Red Riding Hood during the height of her mental illness. When she spotted Red among the group, she paused for a moment, then approached.

  “Jacob is going to be fine,” she announced.

  “Thank goodness,” Granny cried.

  “Normally, a wound like his would take a couple of months to heal, but, well, I left him alone for a minute, and when I returned, he was smearing a black salve all over his shoulder. Whatever it is, it performs miracles. He should be shipshape in a couple of days. Relda, if your family has any more of that medicine, it would come in very handy around here.”

  Granny smiled. “I’ll do my best to find you some.”

  “Can we see him?” Henry asked.

  “Tomorrow,” Nurse Sprat said. “He’s sleeping now.”

  “Thank you so much, Mrs. Sprat,” Granny said.

  “You’re welcome.” She glanced at Red but said nothing, and then she returned to her medical tent.

  “Well, it appears we have even more to celebrate,” Geppetto crowed.

  A loud bell rang, and the gates of the fort opened. Robin Hood and his men marched inside, leading the hobgoblins Henry and Veronica had pummeled earlier that day. The brutes were bound at the wrists with heavy chains. They grunted and complained as they were roughly shoved along. Charming appeared and ordered the men to lock all of the creatures in his cabin, and he asked Little John to make sure they were guarded twenty-four hours a day. “We can’t have them escape. Especially not before we question them.”

  “You won’t get anything out of us,” the hobgoblin leader said.

  Snow White stepped into the courtyard, still in her military fatigues. She cracked her knuckles loudly. “We’ll just see about that.”

  “Relda, you seem to have a knack for gathering useful information. Could you help Snow?” Charming asked.

  “My mother is not part of your war,” Henry said.

  Granny stood up. “Henry, don’t be rude. Of course I’ll do what I can.”

  Sabrina watched her father seethe.

  After dinner, the group dispersed. Sabrina and Daphne decided to give their parents some privacy. It was clear another argument was brewing.

  Puck accompanied them as they wandered aimlessly around the fort, taking in all the different Everafters and the work being done. They stopped when Daphne spotted Red Riding Hood hiding behind Charming’s cabin. She rushed over and sat down next to her.

  “Hey,” Daphne said.

  “Hey.” Red forced a smile onto her face.

  “Are you hiding back here?”

  “I’m trying to stay out of the way. I don’t want to be any trouble.”

  “I’m all about trouble,” Puck offered.

  “You’re not trouble, Red,” Daphne said. “Granny invited you to live with us, so that makes you part of our family. You don’t have to run off and hide.”

  She turned to Sabrina, clearly hoping she would agree. Instead, Sabrina studied a dusty rock by her foot. She wasn’t ready to accept the little girl, not after everything that had happened. She wasn’t even ready to pretend.

  “Mrs. Grimm is very kind,” Red said.

  “She’s gravy,” Daphne agreed. “Plus she’s an excellent cook—”

  Sabrina laughed out loud, and Daphne flashed her an angry look.

  “Well, you shouldn’t lie to her,” Sabrina said defensively.

  Daphne turned back to Red. “Like I was saying . . . you’re one of us. Soon, you will have your own room. Granny promised to build me one, too. Maybe you and I could have a secret door that leads between them—one only we know about.”

  “I would like that,” Red said, grinning.

  Sabrina was stung. Daphne had refused to share a bedroom with her, but she was hoping her sister would get over her anger. Sabrina knew it had been wrong to lie to Daphne about the horn of the North Wind, but they were sisters! Wasn’t blood thicker than water? Wasn’t Daphne supposed to forgive her?

  Prince Charming’s voice boomed from a window directly above them. Sabrina couldn’t quite make out what he was shouting.

  “What’s going on?” Red asked.

  “Let’s find out,” Sabrina said as she stretched to her tiptoes to peek into the window. The rest of the children followed suit, elbowing each other for the best view.

  Inside, they saw a hobgoblin sitting on a chair. His hands were bound behind him. His face was both tired and angry. Charming and Snow hovered over him. Granny sat in a chair across from him, her hands resting patiently in her lap. Mr. Canis and Mr. Seven looked on.

  “What does the Master know about this camp?” Charming demanded.

  The hobgoblin spat at him, “Nothing yet, traitor. But you’re a fool if you think you can hide anything from him for long.”

  “You speak of the Master as if you know him. Who is he?” Granny Relda asked.

  Sabrina’s heart skipped a beat. She, too, had wondered about the Master’s identity. She often feared she had walked past him on the street, or—worse—that he was someone she knew.

  The hobgoblin snorted a laugh. “I haven’t earned the honor of meeting him, but one day I will prove my worth and kneel at his feet.”

  “So you take orders from someone you have never even met?” Snow asked.

  “His is a glorious plan for Everafters,” he barked at her. “That is all I need to know.”

  “Not all Everafters,” Ms. White corrected him. “Only the ones willing to lick his boots.”

  “It’s you that turned your back on Everafters when you allied yourself with the Grimms and the rest of the human filth,” the hobgoblin said. “These are the very people responsible for our imprisonment. You should not befriend them, Snow White. You should help us exterminate them.”

  “So that’s the Master’s plan?” Charming pressed. “Murder the Grimms?”

  “No, he has found another solution to break us out of this tired, little town,” the commander said smugly. “He will destroy the barrier that traps us, and we will march freely across the nations, recapturing the lands and treasures that are rightfully ours.”

  “And I suppose enslaving the world is part of the plan, too?” Mr. Canis asked.

  “Naturally,” the hobgoblin said.

  Charming rolled his eyes. “I’ve heard enough from this fool. Was he searched?”

  Mr. Seven stepped forward and handed Charming a filthy burlap sack. The prince emptied it onto a nearby table, and the group gathered around to study each item: a rusty dagger covered in dried blood, a couple of loaves of moldy bread, a compass, a map of the woods, and a small pocket mirror. Charming held up the mirror with a smirk. “I had no idea hobgoblins were so vain.”

  The hobgoblin chuckled. There was something arrogant in his laugh, as if he knew a secret.

  Charming turned to Granny Relda. “Mrs. Grimm, I have a favor to ask.”

  The children stepped back from the window.

  “What were they talking about?” Daphne asked. “I couldn’t see or hear anything.”

  “The Master,” Red said.

  “Ugh, gross,” Daphne said.

  “He wants to take over the world,” Puck added. “Been there. Done that.”

  “Did they say who the Master is?” Daphne asked.

  Puck shook his head. “Not even a clue.”


  “Wait a minute,” Sabrina said, turning to Red. “Haven’t you seen the Master?”

  Red Riding Hood looked to the ground and shuffled her feet.

  “You told us that you talked to him when you attacked us with the Jabberwocky,” Sabrina pressed.

  “I don’t remember,” the child said in a small voice.

  “Sure, you do,” Sabrina said. She was so excited, she could hardly talk. “Just think. If you tell us who he is, then Charming can send people to capture him. And no one else will be hurt!”

  “It’s blurry.” The little girl clutched her head in her hands, as if straining to remember were causing her physical pain. “I don’t think I can.”

  Sabrina grabbed her by the shoulders. “You have to!”

  Daphne stepped between them. “Sabrina, chill out! She says she doesn’t remember.”

  “She’s not trying,” Sabrina said.

  “She is trying, but your bullying isn’t helping,” Puck added. “Her memory is messed up. Don’t you remember what Canis said? He can’t remember big parts of his life when the wolf was inside of him. It’s the same with Red. We’ll have to think of some other way to figure out who the Master is.”

  Sabrina was furious. Who was he to call her a bully?

  “Maybe you should let me do the thinking around here, Puck,” she snapped. “I’d hate to burn out that little peanut in your head.”

  “You wish you were as smart as me. I’m brilliant,” Puck said, puffing up his chest.

  Sabrina’s face twisted in anger. “Brilliantly stinky. I doubt too many people would list themselves as exceptional when their greatest talent is eating with their feet!”

  Red watched, bewildered. “Are you two in love or something?”

  Daphne started to laugh but clamped her hand over her mouth when both Sabrina and Puck glared at her. Maybe it was Daphne’s amusement, or Red’s embarrassing question, but—before she could stop herself—Sabrina blurted out the one thing she swore she’d never admit.

  “In love? As if! How on earth he and I end up married is beyond me! I don’t know how my future self held her nose long enough to get through the ceremony. Ugh!”

  Everyone fell silent. Daphne stood in shock. Red looked bewildered.

  “MARRIED?” Puck cried, his eyes as big as his head.

  Sabrina was sure she was going to hyperventilate. She closed her eyes and prayed for another rip in time—one that would allow her to go back ten seconds and kick herself in the rear before she opened her mouth. But no black hole appeared to whisk her away.

  “Tell me,” Puck said.

  “It’s nothing,” Sabrina mumbled.

  “TELL ME!”

  “I was kidding,” she lied, but she barely got it out before Puck’s wings appeared. He snatched her in his arms, and soon they were both flying up into the air.

  “Tell me what you know about the future!” he shouted.

  “Fine! Do you remember when Cinderella’s husband built the time machine that nearly ate the town? Well, Daphne and I got pulled into it and saw the future and—”

  “NO!” Puck cried, suddenly understanding what she was telling him.

  “We were married in the future!” Sabrina confirmed. “Listen, I’m no happier about it than you.”

  “You’re lying! I’m a little boy. Little boys do not get married.”

  “You grew up.”

  Puck’s face fell. “What would make me do that?”

  Sabrina cringed. “Me.”

  “I would never do that!” Puck roared.

  “You’re already doing it,” Sabrina said. “Haven’t you noticed you’ve gotten taller? And, I heard Granny tell Mr. Canis you were going through puberty.”

  “What’s puberty?”

  “There is no way in the world I’m explaining that to you,” Sabrina cried. “Drop me, I don’t care!”

  “This puberty—it must be triggered by some kind of disease. You’ve given me your cooties, dogface!” Puck’s eyes turned bright with flames. “I am the Trickster King. I’m a villain. I am the King of Loafers, the Prince of Low Expectations! The spiritual guide for millions of complainers, criminals, and convicts! Villains do not get married. And they do not get zits. You have poisoned me, Sabrina Grimm. This means war!”

  “War?” Sabrina repeated.

  Puck swooped down and dropped Sabrina. She landed hard on her behind. He hovered over her, flapping furiously.

  “Yes, war! And when I’m done, you’ll wish the Scarlet Hand had gotten to you first!” Puck blasted into the sky like a rocket. Within a matter of seconds, he had disappeared from view.

  “That went better than I expected,” Daphne said.

  Uncle Jake staggered around the corner. His arm hung in a sling around his neck. He was pale and seemed to be in a great deal of pain. “Girls, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I need your help.”

  “Uncle Jake, you should be in bed. You need to rest,” Daphne scolded.

  “I can’t. I have to go,” he said.

  “Go where?” Sabrina asked.

  “To rescue Briar Rose.”

  5

  “Uncle Jake, we’re all for saving Briar, but leaving the camp is a bad idea right now. We were just out there with Mom and Dad, and we were all almost stomped to death by the Scarlet Hand’s goons,” Sabrina said.

  “Which is exactly why I need to find Briar. Something’s wrong. She and the fairy godmothers should have come here already, especially if the town is as bad as everyone is saying.”

  “Maybe they’re leaving her alone,” Sabrina said.

  “The Scarlet Hand? Leaving my girlfriend alone?” Uncle Jake asked. “Not likely, ’Brina.”

  He turned and shuffled across the courtyard.

  Daphne tried to convince Red to join them, but she was still feeling shy and scared. The sisters left her in her hiding place and hurried to catch up with their uncle. They found him entering Charming’s cabin. It was dark and abandoned except for the magic mirrors. Once they entered, Reggie appeared in his reflection.

  “Who goes there? Oh, it’s you. A little late for scurrying around, don’t you think?”

  “Sorry if we woke you, Reggie. Go back to sleep,” Jake said.

  “No worries,” he said, then faded away.

  Jake lit an oil lamp, and its light cast the cabin in a golden glow. But in the dim light, he looked tired, feverish, and old.

  “I have to make sure she gets here safe and sound. We’ll take the flying carpet to find her,” he continued. “Daphne, you steer. You’re better at it than me even when I’m at a hundred percent.”

  “And what do I do?” Sabrina asked.

  “You’re going to keep me from falling off the blasted thing.”

  “I’m in,” Daphne said.

  Sabrina nodded. “Me too. Should we tell Mom and Dad?”

  “Not unless you want them to forbid us from doing it,” Daphne said. Then she stepped through the mirror that led to the Hotel of Wonders and vanished.

  Sabrina and Uncle Jake followed. With Harry’s help, they navigated back to the other portal and found themselves back in the Room of Reflections.

  Mirror was there, busy gluing the broken shards from the damaged mirrors to the wall. There were hundreds of pieces, and the light bounced off them in all directions. The girls asked him to retrieve the magic carpet for them, and he put aside his work to get the trolley.

  “So, perhaps we should agree on what we’re going to tell your father about this plan,” Jake said. Mirror had fetched a chair for him, and he slumped in it, looking exhausted.

  The girls peered at each other nervously.

  “You mean you want us to lie to Dad?” Sabrina asked.

  “No! Of course not,” Jake said, and then thought for a moment. “Actually, yes. I want all of us to lie to your father. He’s being a bit of a jerk.”

  “You noticed that, too?” Daphne said.

  “Hank was always the high-strung one. And very stubborn, to
o, but he’s only trying to protect his family. He’s not exactly polite about it, but it’s the only way he knows to keep everyone alive. Your grandfather was the same way. I’m more like Mom in a lot of ways—impulsive—”

  “NO! You?” Sabrina said with mock surprise.

  Uncle Jake laughed. “Guilty as charged.”

  “Mom and Dad used to be laid-back,” Daphne said. “Ever since they woke up, it’s been nonstop bickering, with us and each other. If I didn’t know better, I would think we woke up the wrong people.”

  “Not the happily ever after you were hoping for, huh?” Uncle Jake said. “I’m sorry, girls. I think in all the excitement, I’ve forgotten how important waking them up was to you. And now to have them snapping at everyone—I wish it were different.”

  Sabrina fought back tears but said nothing. She was glad someone else was disappointed with how the family reunion felt.

  Jake closed his eyes and either drifted off to sleep or passed out from the pain. Sabrina and Daphne exchanged a few worried glances but let him rest.

  “He’s not well, girls,” Mirror said when he finally returned with the carpet. “Is this plan of his a life-or-death situation?”

  Daphne nodded.

  “Then good luck,” he said, and then helped them rouse their uncle.

  The trio made their way back through the reflection and the Hotel of Wonders, out of Charming’s cabin, and into the open courtyard. King Arthur’s knights milled about, guarding the camp. A few grew alarmed when the Grimms unrolled the carpet and climbed aboard.

  “Charming has ordered that no one leave the camp,” Sir Galahad pleaded.

  “Tell him we said we’re sorry,” Daphne said, then turned her attention to the rug. “Up!”

  The elegant Persian rug rose high into the air, its tassels rippling in the evening breeze. Sabrina couldn’t help admiring the intricate weaving of the carpet, and focusing on it prevented her from getting vertigo as they were propelled skyward. When the rug cleared the high walls of the fort, Daphne instructed it to take them to Briar’s coffee shop, Sacred Grounds. At Daphne’s instruction, the rug jolted forward, nearly knocking Sabrina over the edge. Her uncle grabbed her hand just in time.