Above all Else

by Sophia R Heart

  Saying goodbye to Dad, I hung up the phone and jumped out of bed. Axel was awake. I felt excited and nervous. Relieved and scared. How would he react when he saw me?

  "What’s going on?" Kellan asked, voice rough with sleep. He sat up slowly, and I could tell that the movement pained him.

  "Axel's awake," I told him, searching for some clothes. "He's really awake."

  “I’ll come with you,” Kellan said, watching the happiness on my face with careful eyes. Pushing the covers away, he used his arms to push himself off the bed.

  “You don't need to do that. You should stay here and rest,” I told him, yanking a pair of jeans on over my shorts and grabbing a turtle-neck. The hickeys on my neck had begun to fade, but were still visible.

  “I'm coming,” he said firmly, reaching for his crutches next to the bed. I didn't argue with him again.

  * * *

  Axel’s mom was outside his room when l got off the elevator. Even though he’d tried to hide it, Kellan had been struggling to walk. I'd made him wait in the cafeteria downstairs. The fact that he hadn't argued – much – really showed how much pain he was in.

  “How is he?” I asked Axel’s mom. She’d just been closing Axel’s door behind her when I approached.

  "As well as can be expected,” she said, her face tired and a little cool as she looked at me. She was a tiny woman, several inches shorter than me, with short blonde hair.

  “Can I go in and see him?” I asked. I didn't know why I felt like I needed to ask her permission. She’d never come out and directly said anything to me, but it had become clear to me over the past few days that she blamed me for what had happened to Axel.

  She nodded briskly, turning to leave. She paused before she left though, and turned to look at me. “He loves you. Don’t hurt him.”

  I could have said the exact same thing to her. There were so many times that she'd let Axel down, so many times that she'd hurt him. But I didn't say a thing, swallowing my words as she walked off. This wasn’t about her, or me. It was about Axel. I didn’t want to hurt him either.

  I took in a deep breath, opening his door. A nurse was inside, checking his vitals. She lowered her clipboard when I entered, but I hardly looked at her. My eyes were fixed on Axel.

  He looked exhausted. There were purple circles under his eyes, matching the bruises on his face. The swelling was still all over his face, and would take a while to go down.

  When his eyes met mine, I saw relief there, and immeasurable sadness. My stomach twisted, even as my heart leaped to see his startling eyes awake.

  'I'll be back in a little while,’ the nurse signed, much to my surprise. Shooting me a harried smile, she left the room.

  I took a seat beside him, feeling unsure.

  ‘I'm so glad to see you awake,’ I signed. He nodded, his eyes roaming over my face. They lingered at the bruises on my head. ‘It’s nothing. They’ll fade,’ I told him.

  ‘What happened?’ he signed, the tubes in his arms stretching as he lifted his arms.

  I filled him in on everything that had happened after... after he’d left Phoenix’s house. ‘Dad is just two doors down from you,' I finished.

  Axel nodded. ‘I'd like to see him before he leaves.’

  ‘He’d like that,’ I told him, both of us falling silent. I didn't want to bring up Kellan, but it hung in the air between us. The proverbial elephant in the room.

  ‘It’s okay. I’ll be your friend, just your friend,’ he signed clumsily.

  ‘I–‘ I paused, words failing me. 'I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry, Axel. I'm so sorry.'

  ‘Don't be,’ he signed. ‘I always knew how you felt – which was why I never said anything. I guess I couldn't… that morning, I just couldn't pretend.

  I didn't know what to say to that. My heart was in my throat as I signed, 'You're my best friend, Axel. I couldn't imagine my life without you.’ I glanced at my hands clenched together on my lap. ‘I'm so sorry that this happened.'

  ‘It's not your fault.’ He shook his head, his hands agitated. ‘They could have just let me walk off. I didn't see or hear them until they were on me. They jumped me just for the fun of it.’

  "Bastards," I said with vehemence.

  Axel looked down, his hands falling tiredly to the bed.

  The door opened behind us. I turned to see that Axel's mom had returned, a coffee cup in hand.

  "I think Axel needs his rest now," she said, her eyes narrowing as they looked at me.

  Taking the hint, I stood.

  'I'll be back tomorrow,' I told him, before squeezing his hand. I hesitated by the door, signing, ‘sorry.’ It was one word, but it described everything I was feeling perfectly.

  I opened Dad's door, just a few feet away from Axel’s room, quietly, not sure if he'd fallen asleep. I smiled as I heard him snoring.

  I found Kellan in the corner of the cafeteria, his head bent awkwardly as he slept.

  “Kellan,” I said softly. He jerked, blinking rapidly. I was filled with such affection for him, I wanted to hug him and never let him go.

  His eyes came alert quickly, scanning the room. The meds might have made him sleepy, but they didn’t completely erase his vigilant nature. "You okay?"

  "Yeah. He’s my friend," I said simply.

  He nodded like he understood me perfectly. "Come on, let's go."

  We'd deal with whatever came next. Together.

  EPILOGUE

  * * *

  I'D BEEN RUNNING around like crazy this past week, planning Dad’s coming home party. He'd been gone for two years. Two long years. I visited every week, though it had been hard at first to see him in that place. He didn’t belong there.

  There had been a number of changes in my life since that day in the courthouse. For one, I was supporting a diamond ring on my left hand. Dad had yet to see it, though according to Kellan, he'd given his blessing months ago. Every time I looked at my hand, I had to pause to take in the ring. It was hard to believe that I was engaged. Kellan seemed to be in a similar state of mind. He often played with the ring on my hand, almost as though he couldn’t quite believe it was there.

  I was attending college, working hard to get my degree. Nathan hadn't been able to deliver on his promise that Dad wouldn't be going to prison, but he had seen to it that Kellan and I were rewarded for our help. I’d used the cash to pay for college, and Kellan had started up his own security company.

  It was a dream come true. He wouldn’t have to leave for days – sometimes weeks – at a time. He wouldn’t be going after fugitives on the run. Ever since he quit bounty hunting last year, a load had been taken off my shoulders. I couldn’t be happier. And neither could Kellan. He loved his job. And there would be a special role there for Dad once he had settled in.

  I had thought long and hard about this party, about whether I should just make a quiet dinner at home for the three of us. Dad had lost a lot of friends after he went prison, but some still remained. I wanted him to see that he wouldn't be coming back to nothing. He had a lot of people waiting for him.

  Axel would be stopping by later. He had a job interview this morning and wouldn’t make it here until late afternoon. I was happy for him. Things were going good for him, and his dreams were beginning to lift off. I saw him every now and then, but not as often as I used to. And that was okay. We would always be friends, but we weren’t kids anymore. He’d moved on, and had a lovely girlfriend that he’d been with for over a year. I'd met her a few times, and she was absolutely perfect for him.

  Kellan came up beside me. Placing a large beer crate on the floor, he began to unload the bottles onto a table. He’d rolled up the sleeves of his black button-down, and I loved the way his arms flexed as he moved. "We can't have a barbecue without beer, ballerina," he said. He hadn’t looked up, but as always, he knew when I was near.

  "I didn't say anything."

  Abandoning the beer, he pulled me into a long, heated kiss
. We both tasted slightly of wine, having had a little celebration of our own this morning. The taste was anything but off-putting. It reminded me of how we'd celebrated my 21st birthday. Heat pooled between my legs as I remembered that evening, and Kellan's arms tightened around me, almost as though he’d heard my thoughts.

  "Knock it off, you two," a voice said behind us. I pulled back, seeing Phoenix approach. There was a laid-back smile on his face. His hair was neat, his gaze calm. I loved seeing him like this.

  He'd started going to group therapy sessions last year, and the change in him since then had been astounding. He was doing so much better, and admitted that he was happier than he had been in a long while.

  The long, agonizing trial coming to an end had also helped. The police had determined that it had been Archie Chambers who had caused Poppy’s death. It had been his footprint that had landed the blow that had eventually killed her.

  We both still visited Poppy’s grave regularly. Phoenix never really went back to his house. The memories there had been too unpleasant. He’d sold it almost a year ago, and now lived in an apartment in the middle of town. It was an adjustment for him – being around so many people – but it was good for him. His social circle had expanded greatly, and he’d even gone on a few dates.

  "My house. My man. I can kiss him if I want to." I stuck my tongue out at him, and he burst out into laughter. It brought a smile to my face. Things had been rough for a long time, especially last year when he'd – unbeknownst to any of us – stopped taking his medication. I was so happy to see him doing well. I hoped things would only continue to go up from here.

  Max approached us, beer bottle in hand. "You can kiss me too, if you want," he said, smirking at me. Kellan gave him a light shove, and I rolled my eyes, having long since gotten used to his flirtation.

  “I can also kick you out,” I said, crossing my arms.

  “You might want to hold that thought, babe. I came to tell you that a taxi just pulled up outside," Maxi said, a genuine smile taking over his face.

  I straightened, looking towards Kellan. For some reason, nerves settled in my stomach.

  Kellan and I had planned to bring Dad home, but he'd wanted to come by himself. I hadn’t pushed it, sensing that he needed his first moments of freedom to be alone. I also suspected that he hadn't come straight here. There was another important woman in his life, one that he hadn’t been able to visit in over two years. Mom.

  I looked around the beautifully furnished house, and the spread I'd put together, knowing instinctively that Mom would be proud. She’d be so happy to see us all together.

  I love you, Mom. I hope I've made you proud, I said silently.

  Kellan squeezed my hand, his gorgeous grey eyes conveying all the support and warmth in the world. We made our way towards the open front door.

  Dad stepped inside.

  He was home.

  BONUS EPILOGUE

  * * *

  DAD WAS DOZING on the armchair by the fireplace. Caleb lay on his stomach on top of Dad’s chest – also fast asleep. I crept closer to them, pulling the pacifier out of Caleb’s tiny mouth while holding my breath. He didn't stir, and I mentally sighed in relief.

  I placed a blanket over my dad and my son, taking a moment to gaze at them affectionately. Dad was a snorer, and while even the slightest noise could usually rouse Caleb, he continued to sleep peacefully on his Granddad’s chest.

  Caleb had the same dark hair as Kellan, the same hair Dad had had in his younger years. Prison had accelerated the steady greying of his hair, and it was now a silvery grey color all over that looked good on him. He was doing well, working part-time at Kellan’s company, the rest of his time spent delivering talks and visiting schools to help disadvantaged youth.

  He was great at his work. And he loved it.

  I tiptoed out of the room and walked down the hall into the twins’ nursery.

  Twin boys.

  I’d almost passed out when the nurse had told us we were having twins. I’d thought I was ready for a baby, but two? I hadn’t been too sure.

  But things had never been better. My boys were the greatest joy in my life, the best thing to happen to me apart from Kellan. They’d be hell in a few years – at least that’s what everyone loved to tell me – but for now, I'd enjoy having a pair of adorable toddlers.

  The nursery was painted a neutral cream colour as we’d decided to keep the genders a surprise. There were touches of blue, yellow, and green across the room in the stuffed toys on the shelves, the countless pillows, and the huge plush rug on the floor. We’d hung up a huge picture of the twins, taken on the day they were born, on one wall. A rocking chair sat in another corner, near the window. Every inch of the room had been lovingly and carefully thought out.

  Corey was in his crib, also on his stomach. He did that all the time. I'd place him on his back, but he’d always end up on his stomach at some point during his nap. He had the same tuft of black hair as his twin, but his eyes were the exact same shade of green as mine while Caleb had gotten Kellan’s grey eyes. I couldn't wait for the day that they’d be running around this house, getting up to mischief. Little mini Kellan’s.

  Kellan was at work, though he’d be back soon. His job was a blessing in so many ways. Being the boss, he got to choose his own hours. It had been a lifesaver once the twins were born. They’d slowly settled into a routine, but the first few months had been chaotic, and I’d needed all the help I could get.

  Making sure that the baby monitor was switched on, I quietly left the twins' nursery and curled up on my bed with my guitar. I'd been working on a lullaby for the twins for a while now. The chorus lulled Corey right off to sleep, and if I was lucky, Caleb too. The chorus had come to me easily, and I’d composed it seamlessly. It was the main part of the lullaby that I was stuck on.

  “That sounds amazing, ballerina,” a husky voice said from the door. I jumped slightly, having been so engrossed by my guitar that I hadn’t heard Kellan come in. He leaned against the door frame, an intimate smile on his face, before he shut the door behind him.

  “Thanks.” I put the guitar down on the floor, which was good, seeing as Kellan was straddling me the next instant. With two babies, we had to make the most of any opportunity to get some time to ourselves.

  "God. I can't get enough of you," he said against my lips, the hardest part of him pressed firmly against my soft core.

  "I should hope not," I told him, raising an eyebrow. He unbuttoned the first few buttons on my shirt, kissing the curve of my breasts. His lips left a scorching trail on my skin as he opened more buttons and moved further down my body. "Phoenix and Abigail–"

  “Hmm?” he murmured.

  I wriggled away. "Phoenix is coming here with Abigail. They should be here any minute."

  He groaned, his face turning pained. "They're not here yet. We have time."

  It was a tempting suggestion. I debated it for a second. But then the doorbell rang.

  He groaned again, falling back onto the bed, muttering something about Phoenix and, “cockblocking.”

  I buttoned my shirt quickly, glancing down at Kellan with an amused smile. “I’ll go and open the door if you need a minute.”

  He groaned again, banging his head against the bed frame. “He’s always had the worst timing.”

  I hurried downstairs, opening the door. "Hey!" I beamed. "Come on in."

  Abigail stepped in first, her blonde waves pulled into a low ponytail. Phoenix came in beside her, his hand on the small of her back, his other hand wheeling in a suitcase. They would be staying over the holidays.

  Axel and his wife, Tamera, were also due to visit, though they were only coming over for dinner on Christmas Eve. They’d be spending Christmas, and the rest of the holidays, with Tamera's parents. Axel's relationship with his mom hadn’t been great for years, but things were on the mend now that she’d dumped her ex-boyfriend. She was actually seeing someone new and was vacationing
in Florida over the Christmas period.

  "How are the little monsters?" Phoenix asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. He’d grown his wild red hair out to his shoulders, secured in a low ponytail at the nape of his neck.

  “Phoenix!” Abigail elbowed him with a laugh.

  "They’re sleeping," I told him, smiling. They could be little monsters when they wanted to be. "It's been a long, crazy day, so I hope you don't mind pizza?"

  "Course not," Abigail said, linking her arms with mine as we made our way to the living room. We'd met at college, and I’d known immediately that she would be perfect for Phoenix. I hadn’t wasted any time in setting them up, and they’d pretty much been inseparable ever since.

  "Leave the suitcase by the stairs," I threw over my shoulder to Phoenix. “Kellan will deal with it.”

  Dad was awake, sitting up on the rocking chair, with a still sleeping Caleb. “I’ll take him up,” he whispered, disappearing up the stairs.

  Kellan came into the living room, looking remarkably composed.

  "Hey, Kellan," Abigail greeted before fishing out a bridal magazine out of her bag and showing it to me. "I need your advice."

  Kellan shot Phoenix an almost panicked look.

  "Come on, man. I want to see how the extension is going," Phoenix said to Kellan, looking amused. We were currently in the middle of some renovation work so Kellan could have his own office at home.

  They disappeared out the back door, as Abigail and I made our way to the round coffee table in the kitchen. The wedding was set for the spring, and Abigail was in full planning mode. I knew they’d have a beautiful wedding.

  An hour later, both the twins were awake. Kellan placed Caleb's head on his shoulder, patting his little back after he was done feeding him. Caleb made a little burping sound and settled down. I had Corey in my arms, still feeding.

  "You guys are so good at this," Abigail commented.

  "It took practice," Kellan told her.

  It had taken a while for us to set a routine in place. The twins had been on different sleep and milk schedules for the longest time. I had no idea how it had happened, but Caleb had never wanted his milk while Corey was taking his, or vice versa. They were also never sleeping at the same time. It had been rough, but slowly we’d managed to get a schedule in place. And we were all much happier and much more well-rested.