Cocked And Loaded

by Desiree Holt

"So good,” he kept murmuring. “So damn good. Jesus, Jamie. So good.” He traced her ear with his tongue, his breath still uneven as it fanned lightly against her skin. “You okay?"

  All she could manage was a soft, “Mmmhmm."

  He tossed the washcloth into the little glass dish on the night stand, then pulled the covers over both of them and wrapped his arms around her. “Sleep, darlin'.” One hand cupped a full breast. “And Jamie?"

  "Mmmhmm?"

  "Thank you."

  The strangest thought popped into her head as she drifted off. He didn't seem to be angry with her anymore. Tonight hadn't been about taking what he thought was his but about being together. Now what was that all about?

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter Twelve

  "Jamie? Darlin', I hate to say this, but I need to get going."

  The deep voice rumbled in her ear, and she fought her way up from the fuzziness of sleep. “Zane?"

  A soft chuckle. “It better not be anyone else."

  She roused and turned herself to face him, squinting over his shoulder at the window. “It's not even light out yet."

  "I know. But I really have to get to the office. They'll have finished up everything from the crime scene last night, and I'll need to call a meeting. And I'd like to get out of here before Kit wakes up with one of her smart remarks.” He kissed her nose. “I don't know if she gets it from you or the other way around."

  "Was it really bad last night?” She searched his eyes for some kind of clue. “I thought the devil was after you."

  An angry look slashed across his face. “Two Hispanics, killed and mutilated. It wasn't pretty."

  "Oh, Zane.” She snuggled against him. “I don't know how you handle it."

  His arms tightened around her. “Sometimes it's harder than others."

  "Let me get up. I'll fix you breakfast. Coffee at least."

  "That's okay. I'll get coffee at the office, and someone's sure to bring donuts. But I'll take a rain check."

  She dropped her gaze, focusing on his chest. “Zane, what's happening here? With us?"

  He took so long answering her she nearly told him to forget it.

  "More than I expected, Jamie.” His voice was slow and thoughtful, as if he couldn't quite get his mind around the situation. “Much more. I always thought..."

  "That if I came back, you'd have your chance to get back at me,” she finished.

  He nodded, watching her with thoughtful blue eyes. “Get my piece of ass and run you out of town.” One corner of his mouth hitched up. “At least it started out that way."

  "And now?” She knew she shouldn't push him, especially since her own feelings were so unsettled, but the words just kept flying out of her mouth.

  "And now it's different. How about you?"

  "I don't know.” She kissed the hollow of his throat, tasting his unique flavor. “It's all turning into ... something else, isn't it."

  And was it because she'd allow him the most intimate entry into her body possible? Because once again she'd given him access to a virgin part of her? Somehow as he'd pounded into her ass, as he'd awakened and then fulfilled a dark need she didn't even know she had, the tenor of things had changed.

  Zane raked his fingers through his sleep-mussed hair. “Yes. You're right. It is."

  "I get the feeling you aren't so mad at me anymore. So ... so ready to punish me for the past."

  He tilted her chin up and placed a tender kiss on her lips. “You're right. Something's changed. I don't know how or what.” He put her gently away from him and rolled out of bed. “And damn it, I can't stay and talk about it right now, much as I'd like to. I need to get home, shower, and dress. This isn't the time for us to sit down and figure out what's happening with us."

  "If anything,” she pointed out.

  His gaze lingered on her. “Oh, trust me. It's something. I just don't know what. And I don't think you do, either."

  Jamie sat up in bed, admiring the taut lines of his naked ass as he walked toward the bathroom. “Zane? I wanted to let you know that I'm emailing the photos of Dad's truck to an insurance investigator Kit knows. I don't want you to get an attitude about it."

  He stopped and turned toward her. There was frustration on his face, and still traces of anger, but he was holding it in well. “Darlin', if it will make you feel better, go right ahead. I'm confident the investigation was proper, but you do what you have to do. It's all right."

  She tossed the covers back and hurried to where he was standing, throwing her arms around him, naked body pressed to naked body. “Thank you. I mean that."

  "Okay, but if you don't get away from me, I won't make it into the shower.” He took a moment for one quick but incendiary kiss. “I'll call you later."

  She waited until he was gone to splash water on her face and pull on a pair of her new shorts and T-shirt. She was in the kitchen pouring her first cup of coffee when Kit came in, eyes full of mischief.

  "I expected to see the hunk here.” Her voice carried the hint of a chuckle. “I heard him come in last night."

  Jamie pretended to study the coffee pot. She needed time to straighten out her feelings for Zane before opening them up to Kit's razor-sharp mind. “He had to leave early. Something about the bodies they found last night."

  "But he'll be back tonight, right?"

  Jamie shrugged. “We'll see.” She wasn't yet ready to discuss the riptide her feelings for Zane had fallen into. Especially since the intensity of them frightened her. She couldn't afford to lose herself in him and end up nowhere again, with a man who had very different views about relationships than she did.

  She looked at the clock, determined to change the subject. “The people from Wild Blue should be here by nine to hook up the satellite so we can have an Internet connection. I'm going to take a quick shower."

  "Coward,” Kit teased. “You have to talk about him sooner or later."

  But not right now.

  The metamorphosis her feelings for Zane were undergoing was too extreme, too new. She could hardly understand them herself, let alone discuss them with someone else. She'd run away from him twelve years ago because she wanted him but didn't trust him. And she'd wanted something for herself. More than Amen had to offer.

  Well, that certainly worked out well, didn't it?

  She'd come back here full of hate and resentment, stunned by the fact that Zane had harbored his bitterness all these years. Resentful of the fact that he seemed so determined to have all the sex he felt she cheated him out of. So what had happened last night to make it different? Was this just another way for him to torment her? And what was she supposed to do about it?

  * * * *

  Zane stood in the shower, letting the water beat down on him and trying not to think about the one he'd taken just the night before. But the memory of it clung like tentacles and his cock hardened just thinking about Jamie's sweet mouth wrapped around it. God, that had been heaven. Pure, unadulterated bliss.

  And what happened to all the anger he'd been holding onto for so long? He'd gone from trying to chase her out of town to deciding he wanted all the sex he'd been thinking about since that night before she'd left Amen to ... what?

  He wasn't a man given to emotions. That was probably one good reason why Jamie had left. He'd known good and well that, while he'd had very special feelings for her, he'd been far from ready to settle down. Still was, he tried to make himself believe. And Jamie Randall wasn't a woman who allowed tomcatting.

  Well, he'd certainly lived up to her expectations of him. Since she'd left, he had plenty of time to screw anything that breathed, always discreetly and never, ever in Amen or even Copper Ridge. Not where people could be aware of it and certainly not under the cold eyes of his mother.

  His mother! Jesus. That was a confrontation he wasn't looking forward to but one he knew for damn sure was coming. Enough tongues in Amen would be wagging about his visits to the Randall house, not to mention his spending the night. Hi
s mother would be front and center on that little piece of business.

  She'd worked hard raising him and done well for herself, but he was a big boy now. He wasn't going to let her interfere with what was happening between him and Jamie. Just as soon as he figured out exactly what that was.

  As he soaped his groin he thought again of the night before and his lathered hands gripped his penis. Every muscle in his body was tense with passion. No, lust. Just pure lust. That's all he wanted it to be. All it could be. But if he didn't get some relief at the moment, he wouldn't be able to get his uniform pants on.

  Closing his eyes and leaning against the shower wall, he stroked himself in a steady motion, trying to imagine that it was Jamie's small fingers wrapped around his shaft. What he really wanted was her mouth, those soft velvet lips that stretched unbelievingly to take his thickness. He had no idea what her sex life had been for the past twelve years; her technique was a combination of sophistication and inexperience.

  Stop! Don't think about anyone else she might have been with. Not that he'd expected her to live like a nun. But imagining her with someone else made his gut twist and bile wash up into his throat. He forced himself to concentrate on what he was doing, feeling himself swell enormously as he'd done when she took him into the hot well of her mouth.

  He could still feel her small tongue as it twirled itself around him, licking the head of his dick and probing the slit until he thought he'd lose his mind. His hand picked up speed as hers had done, coaxing alive every nerve. Her fingers on his balls had about driven him crazy. When her small finger probed his asshole, electricity had driven through him in sharp spikes. He'd wanted her to do it again, but he hadn't wanted to push her. Not yet. Fucking her in the ass had stolen his breath but only whetted his appetite for more. More things. More acts. More, more, more.

  How far could he push her? He wouldn't say the sex he liked was rough, but it was ... okay, rough. He wanted to handcuff her to the bed and lick her pussy until she came so many times she didn't even know who she was. He wanted to spread her legs, plunge a dildo into that hot, greedy cunt and suck her clit while the vibrator took her from one climax to another. He wanted to spank her until the delectable ass was hot pink, then plunge his cock into her ass while the vibrator in her cunt buzzed away. He wanted to suck her nipples until they stood out, then pinch them with nipple clamps that would show her how much pleasure pain could be. He wanted to feel her fingers inside his ass while she sucked his cock and drove him over the edge.

  Would she be willing or would it turn her off? Would she embrace it or be afraid of him? Jesus, he wanted those things with her so much he could hardly breathe.

  All those images were driving him forward. He felt the familiar tingle in his spine and the tightening of his balls. His hand moved faster and faster until the thickness of his semen spilled over his fingers. He gripped his shaft hard, feeling it pulse in his hand until at last he was drained.

  He could hardly move. His heart thundered against his ribs, and his breath seemed stuck halfway in his throat. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been driven by the need to jack off. It gave him the relief he sought, but not the satisfaction. Only Jamie could give him that.

  Jamie! Her naked body danced behind his closed lids. He wanted to brand her as his. And he wanted to bind her to him forever.

  Forever? Where the hell had that come from?

  Forever with Jamie Randall?

  His gut told him he was buying himself trouble. As soon as her problems got resolved, she'd be off down the road again, Amen not even a blip on her radar. He'd lasted this long without recognizing his real feelings about her, he could just keep on doing it. Get everything from her she had to give.

  You aren't a user, Cameron. Not really. But he wanted it all from Jamie. And not to punish her, or to feed his anger. So what did that mean? Was he storing up memories for when she blew him off again?

  Admit what it is, you fool. And figure out what to do about it.

  The damn woman still had the ability to tie him up in knots. He wanted to bang his head against the shower wall, see if he could knock some sense into it.

  At last he turned off the shower, thoroughly drained, and tried to pull himself together. He had two horrendous murders waiting for him, and a bunch of other muck. Not to mention figuring out why someone wanted Jamie Randall off that moth-eaten piece of land.

  * * * *

  Roy Galvan, his chief deputy, had the crime scene photos laid out for him on the conference room table along with a typed set of the Criminal Scene Unit notes and a diagram of the scene. Two other deputies also sat waiting for him.

  "Coroner said he'll have his report in by tomorrow,” Roy said. “This one was a bitch to do."

  "I can believe it.” Zane took a sip of the strong black coffee, for once grateful for its bitterness.

  "Who the hell would do something like that?” one of the other men asked.

  "Someone with a very sick mind,” Zane told him. “He also didn't want us to have an easy time identifying the bodies."

  The fingers of both men had been amputated and their teeth ripped out, apparently with pliers. And just for good measure, acid had been dumped on their faces.

  "So where do we start?” Roy wanted to know.

  He pointed to one of the photos. “This one had a tattoo that the killer either didn't know about or forgot. Send it out to every database and all the police departments in Texas. See if anyone recognizes it. They're probably illegals, but someone might recognize this. It's about all we've got right now.” He looked at the other two deputies. “And the two of you hit every place up and down that stretch of road for ten miles. See if anyone, anyone at all, saw or heard anything last night. You can bet they weren't killed there, but maybe we'll get lucky and someone saw them being dumped."

  "Wouldn't they have come forward?” the younger deputy asked. He'd been on Zane's force less than a year.

  "Around here?” He grunted. “You may be a new deputy, Chuck, but you've lived around here all your life. When was the last time anyone volunteered anything to the law?"

  "Got it. Ask lots of questions."

  "I don't think we'll find out where they were killed,” Zane continued, “but I'm curious as to why they were dumped where we'd find them so easily."

  "A message?” Roy suggested.

  "But to who?” He stood up. “All right. Let's get out there and see if we can find answers to these questions. Everyone back here at noon unless you're hot after something. Then call in."

  Patsy Madigan, who served as his receptionist/secretary, caught him as he stopped in the tiny kitchenette to refill his mug.

  "You've got company,” she told him in a low voice.

  He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?"

  "Yeah. Thought I'd give you a heads up. Your mother's waiting for you."

  Shit. Just what I need today.

  Anita Cameron, in a summer business suit and impeccably groomed as always, rose from the chair she'd been sitting in and presented her cheek for his kiss.

  "Well, Mother.” Zane settled himself behind his desk. “This is a surprise. What brings you to the sheriff's office this early in the morning? Trouble at Diablo Con Ag?"

  "Can't I just stop by to see my son?” She arranged her face in a pout when she saw that Zane's smile had little humor in it. “Is it so strange that I just wanted to say hello?"

  "On a workday? Yeah. You don't drop in unless something's on your mind, so give."

  Anita closed the door, then arranged herself in the chair across from him. “I thought we might have a little chat about something that's bothering me."

  "Bothering you?” He swallowed some of his coffee, watching her over the rim of the mug. “I can't imagine what that would be."

  She brushed an imaginary piece of lint from her skirt. “People have seen you frequenting Jamie Randall's house in the past few days."

  Zane set his mug down carefully. “Frequenting? Are you suggesting something here?"


  "And you were there all night last night."

  Zane reminded himself to stay calm. He seldom won an argument with his mother. “I wasn't aware you were having me followed."

  "People talk, Zane. And Jamie is certainly a topic of conversation. I don't want you included in it."

  He counted to ten before answering her. “Don't you think I'm old enough to control my own social life?"

  She sniffed. “Sex life is more like it. You need to go back to Austin or San Antonio to do your whoring, where people won't see you."

  I won't lose my temper. I won't kill her. “Nice talk from my mother. And Jamie Randall is not a whore."

  "She's a piece of trash and you know it.” Anita's hands tightened into fists. “I don't want you associating with her."

  He didn't know whether to laugh or explode. “I'm thirty-four years old, in case you haven't been counting. A little old for you to be giving me orders."

  Her black eyes turned even darker. “I have plans for you, Zane. You're going to be somebody. You won't get anywhere with a tramp like that clinging to your arm."

  Now his anger was threatening to overtake him. He made himself take a long breath and slowly let it out. “We've had this conversation before. I'm not interested in politics, not now, not ever. And in case you haven't notice, I'm already somebody. The sheriff of Diablo County. A job, I might add, that I'm very happy with."

  "Nonsense. You can be so much more."

  "Forget it. And forget about bringing it up again."

  "Gray could help you—"

  He slammed his hand down on his desk. “And I don't want one thing from Grayson Ballou. Nothing. That alone would make me say no.” He paused, forcing himself to settle down, slow down his breathing. Get control. “You don't happen to know why he's so hot to buy Jamie's place, do you? It can't be worth half of what he's offering."

  "Probably to get her out of town.” She brushed at her skirt again. “Zane, you're really being stubborn about this."

  He pushed back his chair and stood up. “Call it whatever you want, but the subject is closed. You can also stay away from her as a topic of discussion. Whatever's between us is my business. And tell Gray to stay the hell away from her, too. Whatever game he's playing, she's off limits."