Saving Grace: A Novel (Healing Ruby Book 3)

by Jennifer H. Westall

  “I think so. The last week, we’ve been finishing our duties a little earlier. Seems like the Japs have stopped bombing nearby for some reason.”

  “They have. I’m sure they’re just regrouping for something bigger, but while it lasts, I’d like to see you as often as I can. Henry and I think we may have a way to get you off the island.”

  I grimaced. “So you told him? About Natalie?”

  He nodded. “He took it better than I did. But we both agree it’s not safe for you to stay with the army nurses any longer than you have to. So he’s getting a message to some guy he knows that flies PBY planes for the Navy.”

  “Mike?”

  Matthew’s brow shot up. “That’s the guy. I gather you were acquainted?”

  “He was teaching me to fly.”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “You’ll never cease to amaze me, Ruby Graves. Anyway, there’s no plan in place yet, but there’s rumors that some PBYs and a sub have gotten through the Jap blockade, and they may be sending more soon. We’re going to do everything we can to make sure you’re on one.”

  Then it dawned on me what he was really saying. “Just me? What about you? What about Henry?”

  He didn’t answer at first. Just came over and took a seat beside me, leaning forward onto his elbows like he’d been carrying a heavy load and needed a rest. I laid my cheek on his shoulder and thought about what that would mean. Could I really leave them behind in this awful nightmare? After being apart for so long, the thought of leaving Matthew here nearly split my chest wide open.

  “I can’t do it,” I said, hearing my voice crack. “I couldn’t leave you again.”

  He let out a deep sigh and straightened with a sense of confidence. “Let’s not worry over it until it’s a real option. We’re in God’s hands, and He already has the perfect plan in place. We just need to be patient and have faith.”

  I met his gaze, surprised by his steady, calm assurance. “You’ve changed so much. Where did all this faith come from?”

  Matthew smiled. “You, of course. You showed me the way, and God took my hand. It’s all from Him.”

  I had no idea what to say. I was overcome with guilt at how much my faith had wavered and wondered if I should mention my own fears that God was ignoring my prayers, having taken away my gift. And yet, here I sat beside the boy I’d loved for the better part of my life on the other side of the world from where we’d begun. Was redemption still possible? I had to believe it was.

  “Listen,” he said quietly. “I came here to talk to you about something else also.” Breaking off, he rubbed his hands together for a moment. “I think…I think we should discuss our future.”

  “It’s so hard to even imagine the future. I can barely think about tomorrow.”

  Matthew’s leg bounced up and down and his nervous energy spread to me. What was going on in his head?

  “You know,” he said, “I’ve loved you for so long. I know I was pretty stupid about it when we were younger. I handled things all wrong back then. And I sure made a mess of things after the trial. I take full responsibility for that.” With visible effort, he stopped bouncing his leg and turned slightly to face me. “But I want you to know, I aim to be a better man from now on. The kind of man you can depend on. The kind of man you can trust with your life.” Looking deep into my eyes, he reached over and took my hands in his. “Ruby, I love you with everything that I am. And I always will, no matter what. And for some crazy reason that don’t make a lick of sense, you love me too.”

  I realized my heart was pounding, and my palms felt hot and damp. “Well, you haven’t always made it easy.”

  He lifted his hand to cup my face. “I know. And I’m sorry. But all that’s over now. I promise you, nothing will come between us again.” At that, Matthew touched his forehead to mine and whispered, “Ruby, will you marry me?”

  I was overwhelmed with so much joy and love; I couldn’t find my voice. All I could do was nod and kiss him, tears spilling down my cheeks.

  “Is that a yes?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “You’re sure?”

  I kissed him again. “Yes.”

  “’Cause you know, you told me once that you wouldn’t marry me if I was the last man on earth.”

  I leaned back and laughed. “By the time we get off this island, you just might be.”

  He stood and pulled me into his embrace, wiping my tears as we laughed and teased each other. It was the way we always should have been. From the time we met, until that moment, we had spent the better part of ten years in some kind of conflict. And even though we still hadn’t found a place where we could love each other in peace, we’d found peace in that moment. And I never wanted it to end.

  ***

  On Sunday, I sat through the chapel service next to Joseph with so much on my mind I could barely pay attention, especially with Matthew standing behind the benches. I was giddy with happiness when I thought of marrying Matthew, but I also knew I’d be hurting Joseph, and some small part of me felt I owed him an explanation. But what could I say? Matthew and I had decided that we needed to maintain our secrecy for the time being, so telling Joseph was out. But I felt I had to say something.

  When the service ended, I pulled him aside and asked how he was doing. He seemed taken by surprise. “I’m doing as well as can be expected, given the circumstances.”

  “Have you made any progress with the gas gangrene cases?”

  He eyed me suspiciously. I couldn’t blame him. In my weakness and exhaustion, I had practically ignored him the past two weeks. “We’re definitely onto something. I think we’ll start seeing a more rapid recovery soon with a new technique one of the doctors over at Jungle Hospital #1 has been employing.”

  “That’s wonderful.” I glanced over at Sergeant Watters, who was deep in conversation with Matthew. “Um, Joseph, I need to explain…something. But I’m not sure how.”

  He waited for me to say more, but I was stuck. I threw my hands up in exasperation. “I’m going to marry Matthew,” I blurted out.

  His eyes widened. “Did you say marry him?”

  I looked around quickly to make sure no one was listening and made a point to lower my voice. “I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, but I wanted to be honest with you. I know how you feel about me, and I didn’t think it was fair to keep it from you.”

  “Hey, you’ve been extremely fair and honest with me. I never expected to…well, to convince you to love me. And I can accept that.” Joseph’s expression was pained. “But, are you sure about Matthew? Every time he’s come around, you seem upset.”

  “It wasn’t Matthew upsetting me. It was someone else, which is why we’re keeping the wedding quiet for now. I hope you’ll understand.”

  His expression softened. “Of course. You can trust me. My lips are sealed.”

  I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

  I took a quick peek at Matthew, who was frowning over at me. His gaze followed Joseph as he walked away, and I could tell I’d have to explain some things. But I’d spotted Natalie approaching from across the camp, and I was determined not to watch her flirt with Matthew. So I headed back to the nurses’ quarters with Janine.

  Later that evening, I went to the river with Janine to wash away the grime of the day, and we huddled together on a rock away from the other girls. Janine was all smiles, and after I’d announced my news and went on and on, whispering my hopes that Sergeant Watters would agree to marry us, she leaned toward me with a twinkle in her eyes.

  “Henry and I are getting married too!” she confessed, barely containing herself.

  “Really? Oh, Janine, that’s wonderful!” I threw my arms around her neck and laughed as we almost tumbled off the rock into the river. “This means we’ll be sisters,” I said.

  Janine’s blue eyes settled into a serious expression. “Now, we have to keep our cool. It’s all supposed to be secret, which I think makes it even more romantic!”


  I wasn’t sure about the secrecy adding any romance, but knowing Janine would be part of my family warmed my heart. I’d missed everyone from back home so much, especially little Abner. Even thoughts of James, as sour as he could be, brought an ache to my chest when I prayed for him nightly.

  “Has Henry told you…about…well, about me?” I asked shyly.

  She dropped her gaze to the water below, growing quiet. “He said you were convicted of murder, but he told me what really happened. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. It must have been a nightmare.”

  Having another person know my story was unnerving. I wanted to trust Janine, especially now, so I thanked her for understanding. “I just hope we can keep Natalie from wrecking everything. She’s determined to make me miserable.”

  “She doesn’t look well,” Janine said. “I think she’s coming down with all kinds of stuff. Which serves her right, if you ask me. But maybe her illness will keep her out of your business for a while.”

  I wouldn’t wish malaria or any of the other jungle maladies on Natalie, but I had to admit, I was hoping she’d be too preoccupied to care much about what I was doing.

  Janine and I finished bathing and snuck away up the river to meet Matthew and Henry at our usual spot. When we came around the curve in the path, the guys were seated on the end of the fallen tree trunk, their legs dangling off as if they hadn’t a care in the world. Matthew’s smile spread over his face, sending my stomach topsy-turvy. I smiled in return, and he hopped down.

  “Hidey,” he said, planting a kiss on me before I could respond.

  “What did Sergeant Watters say?” I asked.

  “He took a little convincing, but he agreed to marry us, all of us, right here next Friday evening. And he agreed to keep it under wraps for now. Just wants us to make it official when we aren’t in a war zone anymore. You know, with the licenses and all.”

  Janine pulled away from Henry long enough to share a bouncing hug with me. “We’re going to get married together! Can you believe it?”

  I laughed and let the joy of the moment erase the years of fear and running that had consumed me. Here, among my future family, I could simply be Ruby. And it was heaven. Matthew wrapped his arms around my waist and smiled down at me, sending waves of happiness through my heart.

  When Henry and Janine stole away for a little while, Matthew and I found a spot to sit near the river. He took off his boots and rolled up the legs on his pants. Then he groaned as he slipped them into the cool water and lay back to rest his head in my lap. I nibbled on the strange-tasting meat he’d brought this time and ran my hands through his hair with my free hand.

  “I think we should live in Australia,” he said out of the blue. “If you get on a plane or sub out of here, they’ll take you to Australia. You can wait for me there, in Melbourne, and I’ll come find you. Then we can get a ranch or something. Live on our own, with no worries over the past.” He looked up at me then. “Just you and me…and three or four little boys to drive you nuts.”

  I nodded and kept on running my fingers through his hair. It was nice to imagine the two of us together like that, living in peace. So I let the dream settle around me, let myself dwell there in our imaginary home, with our imaginary boys. And for a little while longer, we kept the real world at bay.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ruby

  February 27, 1942

  I stood as still as possible, trying to keep my stomach from turning completely inside out while Janine pinned up the last few strands of my hair. We’d managed to sneak away from the nurses’ quarters with my dress stuffed inside my coveralls, and hairpins, a brush, and a small amount of makeup in my pockets. It was the first time I was glad for the oversized coveralls the army had issued me.

  But as Janine finished up and looked over her work, I couldn’t help but feel absurd standing there in that beautiful dress Daddy had bought me all those years ago, my hair and makeup done, and my feet stuck into my huge brown army boots.

  “I look ridiculous,” I told her.

  Janine glared at me like Mother used to when I complained about dressing up. “You look beautiful. Trust me. He isn’t going to be looking at your feet.” She straightened and tossed her hair about her shoulders. “Now, how about me? Should I put my hair up?”

  Her soft brown curls had turned to straw, like everyone else’s had. There was nothing to be done about it. But for someone who’d been living in the jungle for two months, she looked lovely. “Leave it the way it is,” I said. “You’ve fussed over it long enough. Let’s do this.”

  Smiling, she nodded and smoothed her hands down the dress she’d borrowed from another nurse with the excuse of impressing her boyfriend. It hung on her like she was a skeleton, but her face glowed with excitement. I imagined anyone else who saw us would feel sorry for us, but I was the happiest I’d been in years.

  Janine whistled, her signal to Henry that he was to come around the opposite side of the boulder behind which we were hiding. Janine listened for his response, and she stepped around the right side, while Henry came up on my left. He smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek.

  You look amazing, little Rubes,” he said. “Love the boots.” He chuckled, and I slapped his arm. “You sure about this?”

  I nodded. “You?”

  “Oh yeah.” He clapped his hands together and rocked on his heels.

  “She’s amazing, Henry. A good friend. And she loves you like crazy.”

  He stopped rocking, and his expression grew serious. “I didn’t think it was possible for me to love someone like this. I mean, I know I like to play around and everything, but Janine…she’s different. She takes care of me like I’m the most important person in the world, but then she turns around and calls me out when I’m a fool. No one’s ever treated me like that. I can’t imagine my life without her now.”

  I took his hands in mine and looked up into his eyes, which were shining with joy. “Henry, thank you for taking care of me all these years. For watching out for me, and keeping me laughing, even when there was nothing to laugh about. You’re the best big brother a girl could ever hope for.”

  His smile fell. “I know you wish it was Daddy here with you, but it’s an honor to give you away.” My eyes welled up thinking of Daddy, but of course, Henry couldn’t let the moment pass by without making me laugh. “Anyways, I was getting tired of supporting you.” He winked at me. “’Bout time someone took you off my hands.”

  I slapped his shoulder and laughed with him. Then Janine’s whistle signaled that she and Matthew were ready to begin. Henry took my hand and tucked it into the crook of his elbow. “Shall we?”

  “We shall.”

  Stepping around the boulder, we made our way through vines and palm leaves until we came to a small path that led back to the river. Matthew and Janine came to stand beside us. I only caught Matthew’s eye for a moment before he turned to face the river and Sergeant Watters waiting beside it.

  Sergeant Watters beamed at the four of us, then began to sing, his voice filling the small clearing with a deep power that filled my spirit to overflowing. As he sang, we slowly made our way toward him, turning to face each other during the final verse.

  “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

  That saved a wretch like me.

  I once was lost, but now I’m found

  Was blind, but now, I see.

  “Through many dangers, toils, and snares

  I have already come

  ’Tis Grace hath brought me safe thus far

  And Grace will lead me home.

  “The Lord has promised good to me

  His Word my hope secures

  He will my shield and portion be

  As long as life endures.

  “When we’ve been there ten thousand years

  Bright shining as the sun,

  We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise

  Than when we first begun.”

  As I faced Matthew during the final ver
se, I was overcome with joy. He looked at me with so much love I couldn’t tear my eyes from his. I knew tears were streaming down my face, but I didn’t care. I only wanted to be with him forever.

  “Who gives these women in marriage?” Sergeant Watters broke into my dream, but I still couldn’t look away from Matthew, and he never looked away from me as he said, “I, Matthew Doyle, as her friend, give Janine Langston to be married.”

  Then Henry squeezed my hand. “I, Henry Graves, as her brother, give Ruby Graves to be married.”

  Henry released my hand, and I stepped over to Matthew. He took my hands in his, and gazed down at me. Warmth spread from his hands to mine, up through my arms, and throughout my entire body. In his face I saw my past, my present, and my future, all mingled into one breathtaking smile.

  As he repeated the vows, I had to squeeze his hands to make sure this was all real. “I, Matthew, take thee, Ruby, to be my wife, and before God and these witnesses, I promise to be a faithful and true husband.” He held out his hand, and Henry placed a ring in his palm. Matthew slid it onto my finger, the ring so large it would surely fall off if I ever dropped my hand to my side. Then he smiled at me again. “With this ring, I thee wed, and all my worldly goods I thee endow. In sickness and in health, in poverty, or in wealth, until death do us part.”

  Somewhere in the distant part of my mind, I heard Henry repeating the same vows to Janine. I gazed up at Matthew’s shining eyes. He winked and then whispered, “You okay?”

  I must have looked a fright. A wrinkled dress that was ten years old, stringy hair falling out of its pins, army boots, and tear-streaked makeup. But Matthew looked down at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world, only making my eyes fill up again. I managed to nod.

  Then it was my turn. “Ruby,” Sergeant Watters said. “Repeat after me.”

  I swallowed, and did the best I could. “I, Ruby, take thee Matthew, to be my husband, and before God and these witnesses, I promise to be a faithful and true wife.”