Living With Doubt (The Regret Series Book 2)

by Riann C. Miller

  My eyes narrow. “Her son is the man you saw at the door?”

  “I don’t know that for a fact, but I think it’s safe to assume he was. Ronnie has a serious track record involving drugs.”

  “How in the hell is he allowed to take care of the children?” I shout.

  “He’s not. He’s nowhere on any of Mary’s paperwork. From the initial reports, it appears as though social services hasn’t been made aware of the fact he’s been acting as the primary caretaker.”

  “Oh my God,” I whisper as concern for not only Cassie but every child in that house worsen.

  “The private investigator I hired is willing to keep digging around, free of charge. He didn’t like what he found any more than we do. If and when he uncovers something we can really use, he’ll call me.”

  “If?”

  Jake’s eyes soften. “Lace, you’ve called the police several times now. Either Mary is doing a bang-up job of pretending she’s okay, or something more is going on. Either way, no one can make you any promises that things will change.”

  Dread settles into my thoughts. I’ve been told a thousand times before that everything happens for a reason. I’ve never been one to believe that, but if it’s true, then there was a reason why Milo sought me out, and that means letting this go isn’t an option.

  “I need to get ready for court.”

  Jake warily watches me as I dress, pull my hair up in a bun, and slide into my heels. I quickly apply a little makeup before his hand slides around my waist. “Promise me you’ll let my guy handle this.”

  I glance at him through the mirror. His eyes dance back and forth between mine, laced with concern, maybe even fear.

  I whisper, “I promise.”

  Jake isn’t belittling my fears or concerns, and outside of finding Milo or returning to Queens, my hands are tied. So for now, I’ll put my faith in a stranger, hoping he has better luck than me.

  I once again found my eyes scanning everywhere I went for Milo. Something had to have happened. I went weeks in between seeing him before, but I’m positive he would have found me by now if he could have.

  Once I arrive at the courthouse and get settled in, my day passes like any other regarding the life of New York City’s finest.

  I defended a woman who was caught breaking into jail so she could visit with her boyfriend. She claims she only wanted to ensure he was okay, but the lingerie she wore under her coat would suggest otherwise.

  I also had the privilege of defending a man who threw an apple at his girlfriend’s head after she refused to go down on him. Apparently, assault with a deadly weapon applies to produce when it knocks someone unconscious. I had a few reasonable cases sprinkled throughout my day, but I was completely taken by surprise when Milo Peters appeared as my next defendant.

  “Where have you been?” I question in a hushed tone once he takes the seat next to me.

  “I used all the money I had to take a bus out to see Cassie. I didn’t have a way to get downtown. I wanted to walk back, but I couldn’t leave her.”

  Guilt for not seriously looking for him starts to get the best of me. “Why were you arrested?” I could look at the file in front of me, exactly what I’d do if anyone else were sitting next to me, but for some reason, I want to hear Milo tell me.

  “Trespassing,” he mumbles without looking at me.

  When he doesn’t say anything else, I immediately open the file, scanning the pages until I see the official report.

  “You were sleeping in a dog house?”

  Milo keeps his eyes pointed away from me when he answers. “It was cold. I was trying to stay out of the wind.”

  My heart starts to crack picturing Milo cold, probably hungry, and sleeping in a dog house.

  “The owners spotted me while I was still asleep and called the cops; otherwise, I would’ve left before they arrived.”

  “All rise.”

  Shit…Milo’s case is already starting. Normally, I’m all for getting through my clients, but until now, my emotions have never been tied up in the outcome.

  “Ms. Davis, how does your client plead?”

  My eyes widen with the realization that I didn’t even ask Milo how he wanted to plea. I turn and look at him when he speaks for me.

  “Guilty, Your Honor.”

  Judge Towner’s brows narrow as he glares at Milo for speaking for me, but he surprisingly lets it go. “The owners of the property stated nothing was missing or damaged…however, this isn’t your first offense. Therefore, I’m sentencing you to three months in county jail.”

  I raise my voice, pleading, “Your Honor.”

  “That is all. The next case will begin in five minutes.”

  “Take care of my grandbaby for me. Please?” Milo begs as he’s forced into custody. My eyes start to water, but I nod my reply. I’m afraid to open my mouth for fear of actually breaking down.

  I stare at the door Milo went through until I hear the chair next to me squeak against the floor, reminding me my day isn’t over no matter how much I wish otherwise.

  I return to my apartment on autopilot. I vaguely remember being on the subway, but when I walk through my door and find Jake sitting on my couch watching TV, I smile. “I hope you did more with your day than just watch TV?”

  He grins and stretches his arms over his head. “Nope. I didn’t have a key, and the last thing I wanted to do was leave your door unlocked.”

  I was in such a hurry when I left, I didn’t think about leaving him in my home, nor what he’d do without me.

  “If you’d rather I not be here, I can check with Chase and see if he’s still renting his old apartment.”

  I want him here with me, in my apartment, annoying the piss out of me, even though I know it’s not for the best. “If you want to stay you can. Morgan gave me back the extra key…you can use it if you want to come and go.”

  He smirks but doesn’t call me out on my indirect way of saying I’d rather he stay with me.

  “Are you going back to California on Monday?”

  “No. Actually, I was planning on staying for a while. I hope that doesn’t change your invite to stay with you.”

  I blow out a long breath before taking a seat on the couch next to him. “It’s fine…for now.”

  He pulls me into his lap and brushes my hair out of my face. “You look like you’ve had a long day.”

  “Is that your polite way of saying I look like shit?”

  “I don’t think it’s possible for you to look awful, but what I meant was you look exhausted.”

  I meet his gaze and sigh. “Milo was one of my defendants today.”

  “Milo?”

  “The grandfather. The one who asked me to check on Cassie.”

  He stiffens beneath me. “Did he do anything?”

  “What? No.”

  “Well, if you were defending him, that means he was arrested for something.”

  “He was arrested for trespassing. He was found sleeping in someone’s dog house a few blocks from where Cassie is living.”

  His expression changes from concern to pity. “That sucks.”

  “Yeah, Milo said he spent the only cash he had paying for a bus to Queens so he could check on Cassie. His great plan was to walk back to Manhattan to look for me again, but he was afraid to leave her.”

  Jake loudly swallows. “Where is he now?”

  “Since this wasn’t his first offense, he was sentenced to three months in county jail. At least he’ll have a warm place to sleep until spring arrives.”

  He nods. “The private investigator I hired called me back today. He has an alert set for Mary Ownings. The next time she’s admitted to the hospital, he plans to call child services and inform them that she’s not the one currently caring for the children.” He places his hand on the side of my face. “For now, that’s all we can do.”

  My eyes start to water. “I just hope it’s enough.”

  “Me too,” he adds before pulling me down against his ches
t. His hand moves to my head where he pulls my hair free. His fingers slowly thread through my tresses, relaxing me even more as the beat of his heart starts to lull me to sleep, feeling safer than I knew was possible. When I’m in the final moments of sleep capturing me, Jake softly whispers next to my ear, “I love you.”

  Jordan beams with happiness. “We’re getting married in Honolulu. We figured that would be the perfect place since that’s where we reconnected. I want you as my maid of honor of course, and Chase plans to ask Jake to be his best man.” She gives me an evil grin. “Have you heard from Jake lately?”

  Jake is slowly becoming someone I rely on. For the last three weeks, we’ve practically lived together. When the time comes for him to leave, I’m certain I’m going to be heartbroken—something I’ve spent years avoiding.

  “Get this silly fairytale out of your head. Best friends marrying best friends? It’s never going to happen.”

  “Marrying?” she gasps. “I only thought you two were occasionally doing the dirty!”

  My stomach flips with anxiety. “Stop worrying about what Jake and I are or aren’t doing, and worry about your big day. I know you and Chase have a lot to work on.”

  My plan works beautifully. Her ludicrous questions end as she gets me caught up on what’s going on with her and the moron.

  “Chase is tackling his demons, and this time, he’s including me versus shutting me out or foolishly freeing me from the shit he’s been through.”

  “Tackling? Are you seriously using football lingo to describe your soon-to-be husband’s problems?”

  She snorts and shakes her head. “No, I didn’t even realize what I said.”

  I can’t help but smile. Since I’ve known her, I haven’t seen her with this sense of tranquility surrounding her.

  “If you’re happy, I’m happy. I hope you know that.”

  Her face softens as she reaches out and places her hand over mine. “I know you are. That’s what makes you an awesome best friend. A crazy, sometimes over-the-top best friend, but one I wouldn’t change for anyone.”

  “Shut up before you make me cry,” I blurt as emotions I’m not used to feeling trek through me.

  “Oh good. You had me worried you were going soft there for a second.” Jordan winks.

  “We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” I am going soft, and it’s mostly Jake’s fault. Jake, Cassie, and my sister’s pending wedding have dragged feelings I buried so deep inside back to the surface, and I barely recognize myself anymore. “Don’t worry about me. I’m still pissing off citizens on a daily basis.” I smirk.

  “That I would believe.” Her phone buzzes with a text. “Oh shit, I’ve got to go. I’ll email you the information about the wedding. You get the time off work and I’ll worry about everything else.”

  “Isn’t worrying about the wedding supposed to be part of the maid of honor’s responsibilities?”

  “No offense, Lace, but I’d rather not end up with an Elvis impersonator marrying me.”

  I tilt my head with a glare, but she shakes off my look with a smile.

  “Plus, my mom is all over helping me—otherwise, I’d ask you in a heartbeat.”

  I roll my eyes, not believing her for a second. “I’ll make sure I’m there with a large drink in my hand.”

  She giggles before waving goodbye.

  I take out my phone and bring up my text conversation with Jake. When he was back in California, he sent me a text every single day. Some of them were funny, however, most of them were inspiring, inspiring me to give him a chance, and I saved every single one of them.

  At the time, I wanted to believe I was more than a game or some pawn he was using to help his career. Now as the weeks have slowly passed and he’s still here, acting like he wants me, I think I’m finally ready to free myself from the chains that have kept me from moving forward.

  28

  Jake

  I’ve yet to tell Lacey about my new contract with Arizona. She hasn’t asked, and fear of her kicking my ass out has kept me from bringing it up. I can tell she’s slowly coming around, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she still isn’t looking for a reason to end things.

  I’m absolutely dreading the conversation that will follow once she knows I signed for another five years. I’ll be just a little over thirty-five when this contract ends, and remaining in the NFL at that point seems practically impossible, but the money I’ll bank over the next five years will set my family up forever…my family. If I get my way, that will no longer only include Mom and Bridgett.

  I turn my head when I hear a loud knock. I hesitate for a second, wondering if I should answer the door. I’m starting to feel less and less like Lacey’s dirty secret, but after talking to Chase, I know she still hasn’t told Jordan that I’m practically living with her. Hell, for that matter, Chase didn’t even know I was in New York. When he called and asked me to be his best man at his wedding, I felt like a jerk when I still didn’t tell him.

  Curiosity gets the best of me as I walk across her apartment. “Lacey, open up.” My guard goes up when I hear a man’s voice followed by more knocking. I yank the door open, only to find her friend Caleb with a scowl on his face. “Would you please ask Lacey to talk to me?”

  I frown with confusion. “Lacey isn’t home from work yet.”

  His back goes straight and his shoulders lock with tension. “Mother fucker,” he growls before running his hands through his hair.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  Without answering me, Caleb pulls out his phone and dials someone. “You better get your ass home and now. If you’re doing what I think you are, I’m going to personally kick your ass.” He disconnects the call and pockets his phone as fear starts to consume me.

  “Tell me what the hell is going on.”

  He sighs in defeat. “Did you know she was looking into some foster family out in Queens?”

  “Yes, I’ve been helping her.”

  “You what?” His voice is laced with accusation.

  “She was worried about this girl so I went with her to check on things. After a sixty-second conversation with the man who opened the door, I could tell something wasn’t right.”

  He shakes his head and walks past me into Lacey’s apartment. “Did she happened to tell you that working on a case she wasn’t assigned is grounds for termination?”

  “No, she didn’t.” I curse under my breath, wondering where he’s going with this.

  “I was with her when she got some call regarding this girl she’s worried about. She took off without even considering what would happen to her job.” Caleb’s voice hitches. “She missed an afternoon in court. I wouldn’t be surprised if our firm ends up firing her ass.”

  I grab my phone off the kitchen counter and dial her number. Like Caleb, my call goes straight to voicemail. “Let’s go. I know where this little girl lives.” I shove my wallet in my back pocket and rush out the door with Caleb on my heels.

  “This isn’t like Lace. She might be challenging on a personal level, but professionally, she always walks a straight line.”

  I look right at him. “Maybe she has a soft spot for this kid?”

  He shrugs, clearly not agreeing with my comment. “But why now? Risking her career over a kid she has no ties to isn’t the same Lacey I’ve known for the last three years.”

  I swallow down the knot that’s forming in my throat. If Lacey took off out of the blue after receiving a phone call, then something’s happened—something bad.

  Neither Caleb nor I say another word, and the rest of the ride out to Queens seems to take forever. Once we arrive down the block from the house, it’s obvious something is wrong. Police cars, along with an ambulance, line the street.

  “What in the world…?” Caleb huffs with growing frustration.

  I toss money at the cab driver and the two of us jump out of the car before rushing toward the house. Panic starts coursing through me as fear of what Lacey has gotten herself involved in t
akes over.

  “You’ll need to stop right there,” an officer snaps at us when we attempt to duck under the yellow tape barricading the house from the many people who are standing around trying to discover what’s going on.

  “I think my girlfriend might be involved in whatever is going on,” I plead.

  “Sorry, there’s nothing I can do. You’ll have to stay behind the yellow tape.”

  “Please,” I beg. “I’m looking for Lacey Davis. She’s a lawyer. She received a tip a few weeks ago that something was going on with Mary Ownings and her foster children.”

  The officer’s face slightly relaxes. “I’ll go ask around and see if anyone has information on this woman.”

  As the officer starts to walk away, I spot Lacey standing in the yard on the other side of the house. Relief washes through me as my eyes scan the length of her body, not finding anything wrong.

  “There she is!” I point at Lacey and add, “The woman in the long black coat.”

  “I’ll tell her you’d like to talk to her,” he casually says before walking toward Lacey, who’s currently talking to another police officer.

  When Lacey is interrupted from whatever conversation she’s having, her body goes solid seconds before she glances at Caleb and me.

  “I’m going to kill her,” Caleb mumbles as she slowly makes her way to us.

  “Hey,” she nervously says while still safely out of our reach.

  “What in the hell is going on?” Caleb growls as Lacey turns her icy glare on him.

  My relationship with Lacey is quite a bit different compared to the one she has with Caleb; therefore, I’m more than happy with him taking the brunt of her attitude.

  “A neighbor called me. She thought she could hear children crying most of the night. By the time morning rolled around, she became concerned.”

  “How did the neighbor have your number?” I ask.

  A sheepish smile forms on her face. “I gave it to her when I came out here the other day to check on Cassie.”

  I take several deep breaths, trying my best to remain calm, when Caleb speaks up. “You ditched court because some lady claims she heard a kid crying?”