Writes of Submission

by Cassidy Browning

  He turned his head to look off to the side, frowning. Allie gave him a minute to think about what she’d said and consider if it was something he could do.

  “You don’t think she’d resent me for trying to take Kane’s place?” he asked finally.

  “There’s always that possibility,” Allie admitted. “But it might be worth a try. She wants a relationship with you and she’s a submissive. You had already planned to both be dominant with her anyway. This way you’re just testing it out earlier than you might have. What do you have to lose? Even if it goes badly you can always apologize and go back to being fun Surfer Dude. I think she’ll give you another chance.”

  His mouth twisted in a grin and he turned back toward her. “Fun Surfer Dude, huh? Okay, I’ll give it a try. What do I need to do?”

  * * * *

  He found Nikki later napping on her bed. Her eyes were red and she clutched a pillow as if she was dreaming that she was drowning.

  He sat down on the bed and brushed the hair away from her face. She really was beautiful, much more than she apparently realized. He was going to have to work on her self-esteem. Buy her some of those really revealing clothes to wear to the club. She would look hot in some slinky little outfit that showed lots of skin. He would have to be careful how he pitched it to her, but was sure it would be good for her in the long run.

  Her eyes fluttered open and she gasped and jerked a little when she saw him sitting there.

  “It’s okay, baby,” he said soothingly, running a finger over her cheek. “Just me. How are you doing?” He wondered if it wouldn’t be more Dom-like to stand up and order her to pull herself together, but that just wasn’t in his nature. If she wanted an asshole Dom, she’d have to look somewhere else. Supportive he could do, no problem. Maybe even stern when he had to. But mean just wasn’t in him.

  She sniffed, rubbing at her face a little. “I’m okay. What time is it?”

  “Four thirty.” He stood, allowing her to sit up. “Do you need to use the restroom or anything?”

  “Yeah, but that’s okay. I’ll go by myself.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed and got to her feet, wobbling a little.

  Well, this was certainly one way of asserting himself. Dante bent over and swept her up. “No need. I’ll carry you in. You don’t look terribly steady.”

  She looked indignant. “You don’t need to do that. I’m perfectly capable of getting around on my own.”

  “Of course you are, but why should you when I’m here?” He gave her a playful grin, hoping she wasn’t angry in earnest. He didn’t want to start out this experiment with a fight. “Dinner is at six, I think you should write for a while before then.”

  She moaned. “I’ve tried that. It just doesn’t come when Kane’s not around. I’m not sure—”

  “I am.” He put her down in the bathroom and stepped outside the door, closing it behind him.

  When she came out, he took her elbow and helped her hobble back to sit on the bed. She gave him a puzzled look. “Why did you say that?”

  “Because I think it’s important that you carry on with the book.” He pulled out the desk chair and sat, facing her. Their knees were almost touching, and he reached out and took her hands, not caring if it wasn’t what a real Dom would have done. “I expect you to write even when Kane’s not here. It’s good discipline. You’re just as good a writer as he is. He just has more practice. Even if he doesn’t come back to finish the book with you, I want it done at the end of this month. I’ll help you all I can, but I’m afraid it’s going to be mostly up to you.”

  She stared at him. He waited for her to ask who he thought he was, what right he had to order her around, what he thought he knew about writing a book, or maybe to order him out of the room. He was prepared for all of those things. What he was not prepared for was for her to nod, looking past him at her desk.

  “Hand me my laptop, then, and turn on the radio, please. Unfortunately I seem to have picked up Kane’s habit of needing music to write to.”

  It seemed to Dante that the room went several shades brighter. He spun around to get her computer and helped her get settled with it. He couldn’t find any belly dance music stations, but he finally managed to locate one that was acceptable to her.

  “I’ll go get you a drink,” he offered, as she stared at the screen, waiting for her document to come up. “What would you like?”

  When he had carried her down to dinner two hours later, she had produced four pages for him to critique. It wasn’t a lot, but she had done it by herself, without any direction from Kane. He, of course, was no literary critic, but he thought it was good stuff. He’d even made a suggestion or two, although a little hesitantly. She hadn’t been offended. She’d nodded seriously and made a note on the page to correct later.

  “Would it be okay if we ate in the kitchen with you?” Dante caught Allie just as she was coming out of the kitchen with a plate of something that looked like fat, crumbly hot dogs. “Ooh, what’s that?”

  “Fish sausages,” Allie said, beaming at him. “With a kale and potato hash. And of course you’re welcome to eat with us.”

  “Sounds fantastic.” Dante put Nikki down and collected the dishes from the dining room table. They followed her into the kitchen and settled themselves at the table where Karl and Brad were already waiting.

  “I got distracted with the Kane stuff and forgot to talk to you about my meeting with the publisher,” Dante said as he happily scooped hash onto his plate.

  Karl’s eyebrows went up, although Dante wasn’t sure if it was interest in what he was saying or curiosity about the knobbly logs on the plate that he was holding. “Oh?” He took three without further comment and passed the plate to Nikki.

  “Yeah. They really liked the story about the food party,” Dante went on, waiting for his chance at the fish. “They were wondering if we could do a few more things like that. Dungeon party kinds of things. People are really curious about it.”

  “You mean pictures of people playing?” Brad asked, his eyebrows drawing together. “We can’t ask the community to let us take photos of them. Most people are pretty private about what they do.”

  “Maybe we can work around that,” Karl said thoughtfully. “I’ll make some phone calls. We can’t really have Nikki standing against crosses and things while her foot is messed up, but we could certainly do a photo shoot in the barn on Friday.”

  They discussed more ideas throughout dinner, then Dante settled Nikki in the living room with Brad and Karl and went to help with the dishes. When they were done and had brought out coffee to join the others, it was almost time for the television show.

  Dante sat next to Nikki on the couch, drawing her into himself as the show’s music began. She gave him a tense smile, her anxiety pulsing out from her like a perfume. Everyone seemed to be infected with it. Allie sat on the floor in front of Karl, all three of them leaning forward slightly as if they had as much riding on this interview as Dante and Nikki did.

  “Do you ever get the feeling that you know an author just from reading their work?” the host, David Williams, said with mischievous and knowing smirk. “You might think you know bestselling author Candee Appelbaum, but you’d have another think coming. We’re going to be talking to Candee about her books, and her life. Be prepared for a surprise—she’s not the woman you might assume she is.”

  The audience clapped and Kane walked out from behind the curtain.

  The applause stopped suddenly, and the host winked at his apparently confused audience. “Yes, folks, this is Candee Appelbaum. How are you doing?” He shook Kane’s hand and they took their places in leather chairs.

  “Great, David. Very happy to be here.” Kane grinned at him as they began to exchange pleasantries, smiling at the audience as if he had no qualms at all about exposing himself as their favorite female author.

  Dante squeezed Nikki’s shoulders. She had started to shake a little, as if she was either very angry or afraid of what Ka
ne might say.

  “So, Candee.” David looked him up and down suggestively, still smirking as if he was letting the audience in on a private joke—which he was. “I can’t help but notice something. You’re not quite what I would imagine when I hear the name ‘Candee.’ Should I assume that your parents had a sense of humor?”

  Kane laughed. “Well, they certainly did, but in this case, it was my publisher’s idea. They thought readers would accept a female author more readily.”

  “Now, you write romance novels, isn’t that correct?”

  A little growl went through Nikki’s frame. Dante kissed the top of her head. “You know they have to banter some, babe.”

  “I know.” Her voice was hard.

  “I do write romance,” Kane was saying. The audience had apparently decided to accept him. They hooted and clapped when he said that, and several of his recent book covers were suddenly displayed on screens behind them. Dante could see Kane’s shoulders relax a little, as if he had been half expecting to be lynched after the show. “It’s very spicy romance, with BDSM and ménage elements.”

  “But you’re a man. Men don’t usually write romance, do they?”

  Kane shrugged. “How do we know? My publisher didn’t really want me to go public before this, so for all we know there could be male romance authors all over the place, maybe even here in the audience. We just don’t know.”

  The audience gasped a little, then laughed uncertainly.

  David looked shocked at Kane’s words, then laughed himself. “I suppose that’s true,” he admitted. “Tell me about your experiences as a man writing romance.”

  Kane shifted in his chair. “I wouldn’t say my experiences are much different than any other author, except that I haven’t been able to do book signings and conventions. On Facebook nobody knows or really cares what you look like. Now, though, I will be doing lots of conventions because—”

  “Of course, because you’ve been ‘outed,’” David finished for him, nodding energetically.

  Kane frowned. “No, what I was going to say was because—”

  “Hold that thought.” The host held up a finger to silence Kane, ignoring the indignant frown he got in return. “We’re going to cut to a commercial now. After that we’ll be talking about what’s ahead for Candee Appelbaum.”

  Nikki took a deep breath. “He’s not mentioning me.”

  “He hasn’t really had a chance,” Dante pointed out.

  “No. I think he was about to,” Allie said, although there was a frown line between her eyebrows. She twisted around to look at Karl as if for confirmation.

  “It’s hard to tell what he was going to say. That host won’t let him get a word in edgewise,” Karl mused, making Dante want to throw something at him. Couldn’t he see how upset Nikki was?

  “Of course he was,” Dante said quickly, nodding at Allie. “They’re going to talk next about his upcoming projects. You’ll see. He’ll be singing the praises of his new writing partner. I’d bet on it.”

  They waited nervously through the commercials until the show came back on. The host started talking about Kane’s past books, showing covers and reading portions of reviews that talked about how “in tune” Candee was with her audience and how well she understood women and their emotions.

  “Isn’t that kind of like fraud?”

  Kane’s jaw tightened, but his smile didn’t fade. He chuckled as if the accusation of fraud was an amusing little joke. “Not at all, David. Men and women aren’t really as different as we like to think. I just accessed the part of myself that could relate to women. It’s in there. You just have to find it.”

  Nikki gasped. “How can he say that? He doesn’t have a feminine bone in his body!”

  “But all these women were reading your books, thinking that you were a woman,” David insisted. “You were fooling them.”

  Kane laughed. “Well, not anymore. All of my future books—”

  “Really. What would you say to a woman who felt cheated because she’d assumed you were a woman?”

  Kane took a breath, visibly controlling his irritation. “I would advise that she read the next—”

  “Let’s hear from the audience.” David got up and walked toward the front of the stage. “How many of you have read Candee Appelbaum’s books?”

  The room erupted in whistles, screams and catcalls. David waited until they’d died down. “And do any of you feel deceived because you thought the books were written by a woman?” He went through the audience then, having women stand up and talk about whether they would have read the books if they’d known the truth.

  Chapter 24

  The rest of Kane’s portion of the show was just like that. Whenever Kane started to talk about his new work, David would interrupt him to take the conversation in a different direction. Dante grew more and more tense. He was sure every few minutes that Kane would say something about Nikki, but whenever he seemed to try, he would get cut off, or someone from the audience would stand up and ask him a question.

  Finally David said, “Well, that’s all the time we have today. Candee—I’m sorry. Should I be calling you something else?”

  Kane smirked at him. “Candee is fine for now.”

  “Very well. Candee, we understand you’re working on a new book. Can you tell us when it’ll be ready?”

  Finally. Dante relaxed, giving Nikki another squeeze. “See? He hasn’t forgotten you.”

  “I’d love to tell you about it,” Kane said. “I’ve been working on it at Clifftop Fantasies, a wonderful bed and breakfast that caters to the BDSM community. It should be in to the publishers by the end of the month, but what’s really exciting—”

  “Fantastic!” David’s voice drowned him out, being in turn drowned out by dozens of women screaming their excitement.

  Kane stopped, smiling uncertainly as he waited for the noise to die down. “Thanks, everybody,” he began, but then another round of applause started up and David did his sign-off while the noise was still going on.

  Dante, Allie, Karl, and Brad exchanged worried looks while Nikki sat frozen, staring at the television. “He didn’t say it.”

  “What an asshole,” Dante cut her off, trying to sound completely sure of what he was saying. “Did you hear that? Whenever Kane tried to mention Nikki he got completely cut off. I’ll bet he’s giving that David Williams a major ass-chewing right now.”

  Allie opened her mouth to answer him, but stopped suddenly, pointing toward the television. It was a commercial advertising the fact that Candee Appelbaum would be on The Morning Show.

  “When’s that? Tomorrow?” Brad asked, leaning forward to hear better.

  “Sounded like it.” Allie stood up. “Would anyone like more coffee?”

  “No, not me, thanks.” Nikki’s voice sounded despondent as she pulled herself out of Dante’s embrace. “I think I’m going to go upstairs and read. Good night, everyone.”

  Dante jumped up and carried her up the stairs, ignoring her weak protests that she could manage. He would have preferred that she be angry over her dejected silence as he settled her on her bed.

  “Go back down and work on Kane’s blog. I’m sure after that it’s blowing up,” she insisted when he offered to sit with her. “I’ll be fine. I’m going to take a pain pill and go to sleep. It’s just too much to think about right now and I’m tired.”

  “Babe, don’t take that interview as proof that he isn’t going to work with you.” Dante sat down next to her. “He was obviously trying to talk about you. The asshole host just wouldn’t let him get a word in.”

  Her mouth pursed. “Maybe. We’ll see what happens during the interview tomorrow morning. Please make sure I’m awake for it, okay? I don’t want to miss that.”

  “Okay.” He got up in defeat and went to the door. “Are you sure you don’t want anything? Tea, a bath, more cookies, maybe me?”

  She groaned and put a hand over her stomach. “Nothing, thanks. I stuffed myself earlier with your c
ookies and I’m just not the best company right now.”

  “Okay. But tomorrow”—he pointed a finger at her as he let himself out of her room—“we do yoga and writing. No excuses.”

  “No excuses.” She smiled, but there was a catch in her voice as he closed the door behind himself.

  * * * *

  “Kane called.” Allie put a waffle down in front of Nikki and ladled strawberries onto it. “Whipped cream?”

  “He called?” Nikki couldn’t help the flash of excitement that went through her. She’d spent most of the night dreaming that Kane had deserted her, denounced her contest win as a mistake, and run off with a crowd of groupies from the audience of Book Chat. It had been a hard dream to shake, but the look on Allie’s face gave her hope that Kane hadn’t written her off completely. She met Dante’s eyes as he took his chair next to her and accepted his own waffle.

  “Whipped cream, yes, please.” He smiled at Allie. “What did he say?”

  “I gave him your phone number.” Briefly, Allie’s smile faded and she looked almost guilty. “He didn’t know if he would have time to call you today. It sounds like they’re running him ragged. He had to catch a flight to Boston and then meet with several more people.”

  “He could sneak in a call while he was waiting to board his flight, couldn’t he?” Nikki was aware that her voice sounded more snappish than she’d intended and gave Allie an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “I know.” Allie scooped strawberries onto Dante’s plate and then added homemade whipped cream to both. “I don’t know why he didn’t seem to think he would be able to. All I know is he said he was going to be really busy today, but tomorrow for sure he’ll be in touch.”

  “Mm-hmm.” Nikki stared down at her breakfast and debated with herself whether to voice her misgivings to Dante. She didn’t want to worry him, and she didn’t want him to think that she was only concerned about whether Kane was coming back.

  Dante was happily digging in to his food, not noticing the black cloud that Nikki was sure was hanging over her head. As time went on, it became more and more apparent that Kane didn’t need her. His popularity was no doubt skyrocketing since he’d gone public about being a man. Women who had never even read him were probably curious now, feeling they had to read his books just to see if he could adequately portray a woman’s emotions.