Writes of Submission

by Cassidy Browning

  That was silly. Men had written female characters for as long as people had been writing. Women wrote male characters. As Kane had said, human emotions weren’t that much of a stretch to imagine. Even if his characters didn’t react exactly the way she did, she couldn’t say that they were unfeminine. Women varied as much in their emotional response as men did—probably more.

  Dante looked up at her, speaking around a mouthful of waffle, strawberry and whipped cream. “These are fantastic. I’ve got to buy that book.”

  “You don’t have to buy it.” Allie was putting steaming cups of coffee in front of them. “I’ll give you a signed copy. You’ve more than earned it with the press you’re getting us.”

  He beamed at her. “Well, you’ve certainly got one convert. I may never eat out again.”

  She laughed. “That’s great. Don’t forget Kane’s interview is on in about twenty minutes.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Dante’s eyes widened and he shoveled another forkful into his mouth. “Eat up, gorgeous. Don’t want to miss that.”

  “No.” Nikki forced herself to take a bite. “Wouldn’t want to miss that.”

  He stopped chewing and stared at her. “What’s wrong, babe?”

  “I don’t know.” She put her fork down and stared at it, hating herself for the tears that were threatening to overwhelm her. Everything just seemed so bleak this morning. Kane didn’t want to be with her. He was undoubtedly beginning to realize the benefits of being single and famous. She couldn’t get the image out of her mind of a line of women just waiting to submit to him while Kane smiled and told them he would get to them all in time.

  Dante gave his waffle a regretful look and scooted his chair closer, putting his arms around her and pulling her into him. She sniffed a little, feeling indulgently pathetic and self-pitying.

  He waited a minute and then gave her a gentle shake. “Sweetie, stop that. It’s not as bad as you think. Kane hasn’t forgotten about you, or abandoned you, or whatever you’re convinced of. He called this morning. He’s going to be on television in half an hour telling the world about his beautiful, amazing, and talented new writing partner. Everything is going to be perfect.”

  “Perfect,” she mumbled, forcing herself to nod and turn back to her breakfast. “I’m sure it is. Thanks, Dante.”

  He hesitated, but the obvious call of his food won out and he went back to it, smiling encouragingly at her. “It will be. You’ll see.”

  She forced herself to eat, although her stomach was tied up in knots. She could feel the waffle sitting in a lump on top of it, its entry barred by a wad of anxious worry. She just couldn’t imagine that Dante would stick with her if it turned out she couldn’t write alone. He was so convinced that they were all going to be together forever, rich and famous and happy beyond any of their wildest dreams. What if none of that happened? What if Kane came back with someone who really was suited to them? When would they realize that she was nothing but a middle-aged, pathetic wannabe?

  Dante had another waffle and finished up the end of hers while they waited for the show to come on. He chattered happily about what would happen when Kane came back and they could get the book finished. The more he talked, the lower Nikki’s feelings sank. He was so convinced that everything was going to be fine that she was forced to imagine worse and worse scenarios, just to balance it out. By the time Kane walked onto the stage of The Morning Show, Nikki half expected to see a young, gorgeous model on his arm. It was almost a shock that he looked the same as he had yesterday on Book Chat.

  The conversation was almost identical to the previous night’s talk show. The host asked questions about what it was like to be a male writing romance. A few times Kane seemed to be on the verge of saying that he had a new writing partner, but he was always cut off before he could get it out, and by the end of the show Nikki had convinced herself that she had imagined it.

  Allie shook her head when the segment ended. “They did it again.”

  “He tried.” Dante stood up and held out a hand to Nikki. “Come on. It’s time for you to get some work in.”

  “Why bother?” Nikki let herself be helped up, but she could feel herself sagging. She just didn’t have the energy to go upstairs and write. What was the use? Kane was on the talk show circuit now. He wouldn’t come back here to work with her again. Maybe she should just tell Dante she was writing and take a nap. That would work. He wouldn’t bother her.

  She allowed him to carry her upstairs, even though she could have easily made it herself. It just didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered. Half asleep, she barely noticed as they went upstairs and into her room. When he put her on the bed, she pulled a blanket around herself and curled up around her pillow.

  Suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder. “What are you doing?” Dante’s voice said.

  Nikki’s eyes fluttered open. “I’m just going to take a short nap. I’ll work later.”

  Dante sat down on the bed next to her, frowning. “It’s ten o’clock in the morning. Why do you need a nap?”

  She shrugged. “I just feel like it. Come and wake me up in an hour.”

  He was silent for a moment and she snuggled down into the blanket, allowing herself to sink toward the oblivion she knew was waiting for her. If she stayed awake, she would have to think about Kane, and she didn’t want to think about Kane. Dante was still here and she was grateful for that, but there was a whole chasm of no Kane waiting for her to fall in. She would face that later.

  Then her shoulder was being shaken once more. A little irritated, she opened her eyes again. “What?”

  There was something in his face this time that she didn’t recognize. He wasn’t the sweet, concerned, attentive Dante now. “It’s not time to sleep,” he said. “It’s time to get your ass moving and work. You can take a nap this afternoon if you really need one. But for now I want you to work for an hour, then we’ll do yoga for a bit before lunch.”

  “What? No, Dante. Really. I just need to sleep for a bit. I promise I’ll work later.”

  He stood up. “No, you need to work now. I’m not sure what’s going on with you, but I don’t like it. Do we need to do some brainstorming?”

  “No.” She pulled herself into a sitting position, seriously annoyed. “What is up with you?”

  He folded his arms in front of his chest and gave her a look that made her want to ask if he’d been taking lessons from Kane. Seriously, he’d probably been practicing it in the mirror. She almost smiled, in spite of herself

  “I don’t think this is a good time for you to get self-indulgent,” he said sternly. “You can take a break later if you need one, but first I need to see some work done. If you want me to stay and talk through the next scene or two, that’s fine. I’ll do it. But if you know where you’re going, then I’ll go and do my work for a while. Do you need me to bring you up some coffee to get you going?”

  Her mouth had dropped open during his speech. She was unable to say anything as he turned on her computer and settled it on her lap. He picked up a pillow and waited until she leaned forward so he could prop it behind her back and get her comfortably settled. Dozens of angry retorts went through her mind as he propped up her ankle and covered her legs with a quilt, but none of them would come out.

  He seemed to read her expression and sat down in the desk chair, leaning forward with his arms resting on his knees. “If Kane were here you’d be working, right?”

  “Kane’s not here.” Her temper flared. “What’s the point of working on this book without him?”

  “What’s the point of doing anything?” He met her gaze and held it unflinching. “If you want to be a writer, then write. If Kane stays away, that doesn’t mean you can’t be a writer. You have the talent. I know I’m not as good a writing partner as Kane, but I’ll do what I can and together we can make it work. Most writers don’t get the benefit of having a seasoned, successful author holding their hand through the process. If you lose that benefit, then we’ll just have to mak
e do with each other. Or am I not worth collaborating with?”

  “Of course you’re worth it,” she stammered, beginning to see what he was doing. “But this isn’t you. You said you didn’t want the serious parts. Why are you going all Dom on me now?”

  “Because this is important, and because I think you need the structure to work efficiently.” Dante stood up, running a hand through his hair.

  “So you’re going to be Dominant because I need it?” She really wasn’t sure how she felt about that. “Isn’t that kind of like saying ‘I’m spanking you for your own good’?”

  “I will spank you if you think it’ll help.” He smiled and she saw the old, playful Dante for a moment.

  She was too annoyed to smile back. “I’m not sure I want to be treated like a naughty adolescent.”

  “Then don’t act like one. You said you wanted to be submissive. You said you wanted to be held accountable. Kane isn’t here, and that’s what you said you needed. So I’m taking over until he gets back. Don’t think Kane wouldn’t spank you if you didn’t get your writing assignment done. I’m pretty sure he would. Even if he wouldn’t, I think I’d be inclined to.” His eyes narrowed, daring her to refuse.

  There was simply no answer to that. She had enjoyed Kane’s dominant attitude, telling her when to write and holding her accountable. Just because Dante hadn’t done it before didn’t mean that he wasn’t capable of it. The question was did she want to submit to him?

  She pulled the laptop up and poked at the keys to open up her file. “Okay, mein Führer. I’ll get to work. I’m not sleepy anymore anyway.”

  “Good.” His shoulders relaxed, as if he’d been tensed up. “I’ll come back in an hour and we’ll do some yoga before lunch. There had better be new work though, young lady, or we will see if I have what it takes to spank that hot ass of yours. I really don’t think I would bet on it not happening if I were you.”

  She sat staring at the computer for a full ten minutes after he’d left, not completely sure what she was angry about. He’d said he didn’t want to be dominant with her. Now he was acting like she was some spoiled brat who needed to be disciplined. She had only wanted to take a little nap.

  Gradually she began to type. It was like pulling teeth to get the sentences to come, but she forced herself to keep working. An hour, he’d said. Okay, damn it. She could work for an hour. He was probably right. She should show Kane that she could write without him. Was she some kind of weak, pathetic loser who shriveled up the minute he quit telling her what to do?

  That was what was bothering her. Dante apparently thought she was. He seemed to think that she would just curl up in a ball and give up on life without Kane pushing her to work. The anger that had boiled up in her at the thought suddenly sparked something and she knew exactly where her scene should go. She began typing furiously, feeling energy and renewed purpose course through her. She would have to deal with Dante later, but for now she was going to prove to both of them that she could be disciplined.

  Chapter 25

  “I brought you a drink.” Dante gave a light knock on Nikki’s door and pushed it open. He was afraid that she would have turned off the computer and gone back to sleep after he’d left, but whenever he’d gone past her room he’d heard the sound of tapping and smiled. He’d done it. Nikki had been ready to give up this morning. The thought of Kane leaving her behind had almost defeated her. Allie was right. She just needed a little push and some accountability.

  She looked up at him as he entered. There was an odd gleam in her eye, but he took it as a good sign that she was feeling inspired. He took over the glass and put it on the corner of her desk, within easy reach.

  “What’s that?”

  “Chocolate cream soda. Allie made me a glass and it’s really pretty good. Drink up. It has no preservatives. So how much did you get done?”

  She took a sip, squinting down at the screen. “Two thousand words.”

  “Not bad for an hour, especially when you didn’t really feel like it.”

  “No.” She shut down the computer and put it off to the side. “I want to talk to you about that.”

  “Okay.” He took a seat next to her, feeling nervous again. She wasn’t acting particularly submissive. Maybe he’d gone a little too far.

  “I don’t want you to think that I’m helpless.”

  “Helpless? Why would I think you’re helpless?”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You seem to think that I’ll melt into a little puddle of goo without someone to boss me around. That just isn’t true.”

  “Of course not. Why would I think that?”

  “Because of the way you were treating me earlier.” She took another drink, this one longer. “This is pretty good. But I want to get this straight. I don’t need a keeper, or whatever you think you were doing.”

  He couldn’t stop a smile at that. “If you did I wouldn’t apply for the job. I don’t want a partner who’s likely to melt into a little puddle of goo. I want someone who’s willing to take responsibility for herself and accept direction when she needs it. You weren’t in a good place this morning and I thought some structure would help you get back on track.”

  “Hmm.” She seemed to consider that for a minute.

  “Admit it. It helped.”

  She replaced the glass and leaned back into her pillows, watching him. “Maybe a little.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with needing some motivation now and then.” He sat down next to her and stroked her arm. “I expect you to give me a kick in the ass when I need it.”

  Her face softened a little. “You do?”

  “Sure. That’s what partners are for, aren’t they?”

  “But what about this Dom stuff?” she persisted. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

  “Okay. Why? I thought you wanted us both to be your Doms. At least, that’s what we discussed before.”

  She hesitated. “I guess because it felt like you didn’t really want to do it. You just thought I needed it. Right?”

  “Maybe. But I… I didn’t really mind it. In fact, it was kind of fun being the big, bad Dom for a change.” He grinned at her and was relieved to see her grin back. “You need to know that being submissive doesn’t mean you need somebody to boss you around. It just means that you’re willing to let someone else do it, in order to get more accomplished. Everybody has to do that sometimes—and it can be kind of hot, don’t you think?”

  She nodded slowly. “Actually, yeah. It’s kind of different when it’s about sex and when it’s about work, though.”

  “Sure.” He laughed. “Discipline is never fun when it’s about work. But all it means is that you have the ability to accomplish what you want to accomplish. If you’ve done it together, as a team, then it strengthens the connection between you and makes the sex part much sweeter. At least, I assume that’s how it works. I’ve always thought of discipline as kind of a solitary thing, but I’m beginning to understand the benefits of doing it together.”

  They sat in silence for a minute, then Dante patted her thigh and stood. “Come on. Speaking of discipline, let’s get some stretching in so you don’t get too stiff. I have big plans for you when your ankle heals.”

  * * * *

  “Kane called today,” Allie said when they were all seated at the dinner table.

  Out of the corner of his eye, Dante saw Nikki stiffen in her seat. He frowned. “What did he say?”

  “He was in a big hurry,” Allie said. “That’s why I didn’t come and get you. He said to tell you both hello and he’ll be in touch soon.”

  “Didn’t you give him my phone number?”

  “I’m sorry, Dante.” Allie looked genuinely distressed. “I didn’t have it handy and he didn’t have time to wait. I did give it to him earlier. He just wanted to let us all know that he’s trying to get back as soon as possible.”

  He glanced at Nikki again. Her lips had tightened and she stared down at her plate. He patted her hand. “Don’t wor
ry, babe. You’ll get to talk to him soon.”

  She gave a shuddering kind of sigh, as if suppressing a sob. “It’s obvious he just doesn’t want to talk to me.”

  “I didn’t get that impression,” Allie protested. “They’re just keeping him really busy. If you’re going to be an author for that company, it sounds like this kind of thing happens from time to time. Are you going to be able to handle that? Being whisked off at a moment’s notice halfway across the country or more to do whatever it is that famous people are supposed to do?”

  Dante studied her. Allie’s face had gone a bit pink and her fingers were tapping nervously on the edge of the table. Was she lying? But why would she cover up for Kane? There was no reason for that. He could be paying her, of course, but Allie didn’t strike him as the kind of person who would do something underhanded like that. She was all about openness and honesty. Her lifestyle kind of demanded it. But she was apparently not completely comfortable with what she was telling them, but she didn’t seem to be angry at Kane, as she surely would have been if she’d known that he was bailing out on Nikki after making her care about him. Nikki mumbled something indistinct in answer.

  Allie refused to meet his eye, instead darting into the kitchen to bring out more rolls. Dante shook his head slightly. If she really didn’t want to tell him what was going on, he would just have to wait and see. Either Kane would come back, hopefully in the next day or two, or the phone calls would get less and less frequent, and then he would probably send for his things eventually, probably after he and Nikki gave up and left.

  Maybe he should be happy about this. Really, wouldn’t most guys be glad that the “competition” was stepping out of the way? But he just couldn’t think of Kane as competition. They’d made such a good team, the three of them. Kane had to come back. Dante would still want Nikki if he didn’t, but it just wouldn’t be the same. The energy between the three of them had been so right, as if they’d been together their whole lives. Or maybe in previous lives.