The Novice

by Ava Lohan

  A new warning, as if straight from Lexi’s mouth.

  Chapter Nine

  Room 316. Arabian Nights. That’s where Finn said I would find Kegan. In one hand I held a stack of bills, in the other a magnetic key to the room. My shoes squeaked along the immaculate floor of the hallway. Room 316. I took a second to pull myself together before inserting the key into the reader. I threw the door open and slammed it shut with all my might to make my entrance and anger heard. So much for trying to keep calm. No one greeted me.

  The room was beautiful, inspired by the Middle East, in shades of gold, red, and turquoise. Red and gold curtains framed a round bed, preventing me from seeing if anyone was lying on it. I came closer and impatiently pushed the curtains aside. There was nobody there. In fact, it seemed like nobody had ever been there: the golden bedspread didn’t have a single wrinkle. Red pillows were scattered about.

  I set down the key card and looked around, raising an eyebrow and fiddling with the edge of a bill in my hand. There was a narrow hall, but no sign of Kegan. I began to walk down the long Persian rug, sensing a sweet smell and voices in the air. I seemed to have been catapulted into a fairy tale. Except in the beautiful room there was no Prince Charming waiting for me. No, there was only an asshole with a heart of stone. The hallway came to an end.

  Three steps in front of me led to a rectangular Jacuzzi. The low, golden light imitated the effect of candles. Kegan was there, immersed in the water with a relaxed look on his face. He wasn’t alone. Sitting on either side of him in the Jacuzzi were a man and a woman, stuck to him like glue. Two more sat on the other side of the Jacuzzi alongside the guy whose name I couldn’t remember, but I once saw sucking on Kegan’s neck. I couldn’t believe my eyes—every one of them had a turban on their head. Kegan’s was white; all the others were blue. The girls’ turbans didn’t cover their hair, which fell on their bare shoulders and floated in the water.

  “Come closer, Rose.”

  Kegan. I could have drowned him.

  “Why don’t you join us?”

  I didn’t answer. The whole group turned to watch as I climbed the stairs. The guy glued to his side looked up at me for just a second. In his hands was a small hookah that he shared with Kegan. The smell was a nauseating aroma of spices and fruits. I could already tell it would give me one hell of a headache.

  The money shook in my hands. I was petrified. I‘d imagined a different scene in my head. I’d thought I’d find him all alone and throw his stupid money at him. Then I would have ended it all right then and there, leaving with my head held high. I could see now that none of that would be remotely possible. Kegan was in the water, and unless I wanted to destroy the money, I would have to give up my dreams of glory. Finn had told me it was fifty thousand dollars in total. While it was true that I didn’t want the money, it didn’t mean I wanted to destroy it. The thought of all the people who had none at all stopped me. By evening I would give him back the remaining bills, still packed away in my suitcase.

  The slut on his left side ran her fingernails up his chest, then down, under the water. A slow, deliberate movement. I could have slapped her. She looked at me with an annoyed air, as if my presence bothered her. I had to control myself as Kegan’s eyes went from the money to me.

  “Come in the water, Rose. If you open the second drawer down to your right, there’s a turban for you, too. I’m your Arab prince—join my harem. I want my favorite nun between my legs.” A smile lit up his face, tempting me to kill him with my bare hands. The bastard was enjoying himself.

  Someone laughed.

  “Go to hell. I don’t want your money,” I exploded, waving the stack in the air.

  I turned and threw the bills against the wall behind me. It didn’t give me the same satisfaction as throwing them in his face, but it was something.

  When I turned back to look at him, the smile was gone from his face. There was a strange flickering in his eyes that suggested he now wanted to kill me. I stepped back, away from the stairs. I wouldn’t allow him to intimidate me.

  “Do you think you can buy me for fifty thousand dollars?”

  I saw the guy and girl at his sides wince. I imagined the others did the same. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut, that I should have stopped. But Kegan had a natural talent for bringing out the worst in me. And the fact that he was a dream, even with that stupid turban on, made me even angrier. Aesthetically perfect, like an angel, but internally compromised by Satan.

  “Let’s end this in the best possible way. You can keep your money, and I’ll go back to the convent to be with my sisters. Maybe it’s time you considered redeeming your soul. That would be a good starting point, Mr. Anderson.”

  I didn’t care if there were others in the room. I saw his muscles and jaw stiffen. Kegan lowered the plastic tube from his lips and handed it back to the guy without even looking in his direction.

  “You’ll have to excuse us.”

  His voice was as stern as his eyes. By the time I could count to two, everyone was gone. Contrary to my expectations, they weren’t naked, but wearing swimsuits. They ran past me, grabbing towels as they flew by and down the steps.

  “Don’t even think about following them,” Kegan warned.

  Once we were alone, all my courage evaporated.

  “What am I supposed to do with you?” he asked, standing up.

  I felt like God had abandoned me, leaving me alone to face the allure of my executioner.

  “You don’t wear the clothes I bought you, you keep insulting me, and now you’re here telling me you don’t want my money.”

  I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. I couldn’t read his tone of voice. He seemed distant. Mysterious. Unlike the others, Kegan was naked. He went to grab a towel from a shelf. He removed his turban and shook his hair. I admired his perfect back while his butt tempted me.

  “Bite me, taste me, touch me.” Like the cookies in Alice in Wonderland.

  Before he could turn around, I took my eyes off his body and brought my crucifix to my lips. Two years I had spent praying day and night, purifying my body and soul, and now here I was, throwing it all away in a matter of days. I knew that the best thing to do would be to walk down those steps and leave the room as fast as I could, like the others had done before me. But my feet were incapable of leading me away from him. Especially now that he was staring at my back, now covered by a gray t-shirt, with an icy gaze. I imagined he was examining my outfit. I waited for some sort of comment, but he didn’t say a word. My legs shook. I could feel butterflies in my stomach. I took a deep breath and walked down the stairs, heading for the hallway. In less than five seconds he was standing in front of me, blocking my way. He grabbed my shirt and bit his lip, gazing at me, deep in thought.

  “I must admit, you make me hard even when you’re dressed like this. But I need to see you wearing the clothes I bought you.”

  My mouth went as dry as the desert-scene mural hanging in the hallway. So he really had bought all those things for me. They hadn’t always been there for anybody who used that room.

  “Why?” I asked as he pulled me toward him.

  “My motives are none of your concern.”

  His breath smelled like vanilla and exotic spices. He rolled my shirt up and flashed me a devastating grin. He wanted me to raise my arms so he could remove my top. I obliged. He looked at my white cotton bra, not part of the wardrobe he had given me, and sneered. I noticed a hickey on his chest—it bothered me. I silently scolded myself and assumed an annoyed air.

  Kegan followed my gaze and placed a finger on the hickey.

  “Don’t you like it?” he asked, provoking me.

  I thought of Tereza’s comments over dinner and assumed it was from her.

  “Did Tereza give it to you?” I asked, regretting those words as soon as they came out of my mouth. It was as if they had just come out on their own, with no connection to my brain.

  Kegan was silent for a long time. Then he spoke. “Maybe.
Don’t tell me you’re jealous.” He rested his hand on my cheek.

  A fire burned inside me.

  “Am I making you regret the life of chastity you had planned out?”

  His gorgeous eyes reflecting in mine were almost too much to bear. I pretended to concentrate on the desert mural on the wall until his fingers forced me to return his attention. Second thoughts? Jealousy? My stupid romantic side might have considered it, but I would never have admitted it. Kegan continued to study me. I tried to hide my emotions and hoped that my eyes would only show the anger and contempt I felt for him. I prayed that I could conceal my jealousy, my desire.

  I had only one regret: that when I thought of him and what he was, when I imagined him in bed with Lexi, Tereza, or any other Lust employee, I became overcome with jealousy and hated myself. I hated not being the only one who could touch him. I couldn’t help it.

  “Rose?”

  He couldn’t have been pleased with my silence. But I never could have admitted to having second thoughts. Never. Kegan could torture me all he wanted, but I would refuse to give him that satisfaction. I knew that he didn’t love me, that he was not trying to save me from the convent to marry me and have lots of babies. But, for a fraction of a nanosecond, an image of us spending our lives together flashed in my mind. Leaving the convent for him. I didn’t think he could tell what I was imagining. I couldn’t even believe the thought had crossed my mind. But it had, the previous day, while I was trying to fall asleep and he was God-knows-where, doing God-knows-what, with God-knows-who. I vowed not to let it happen again. It was a moment of weakness—the hopeless romantic in me had accidentally gotten out after being repressed by two years of prayers. Love had already caused me enough problems.

  I’d spent more than two years hoping Paul would fall in love with me, rejecting any other guy that came my way in hopes that he would leave Jenna for me. Then I started misinterpreting his behavior. I thought he liked me, and that during our vacation he would declare his love for me. But, as it turned out, he was only being nice. He’d never got up the courage to tell me so, nor did he think I'd felt anything more for him than physical attraction. The night that I seduced him on the beach, I was angry. I had just gotten in a huge fight with Jenna. That night, she’d called me a whore. When I tried explaining that all the stories about my sexual escapades were just lies I’d made up to protect myself from Malcolm, she didn’t believe me.

  So, I’d headed to the beach to cry, and that’s when I saw Paul. I liked him, and Jenna had just thrown me out, so I decided to take revenge on her by stealing the boy we both loved. To Paul, those two days had been merely forty-eight hours of secret sex, but for me they were pure love. Then he told me he felt guilty and confessed that he didn’t love me. That same night, I called my parents to come get me.

  Kegan’s hand burning my cheek brought me back to the present. I quickly thought up an answer.

  “You’re the last person in the world who could give me second thoughts.”

  I sounded convincing, at least to my own ears. I hoped I’d fooled him too. I shook him off and brushed past him. I hated him even more for making me remember that day. I held my head in my hands. What the hell was I doing now? Selling my body? My parents would be furious.

  “Falling in love with me is not part of the agreement. Don’t forget.”

  He was so cold, so emotionless. It was like he’d never known affection in his entire life. Or maybe, in his twenty-four years, nobody had given it to him. His parents were dead, like mine. I, however, had managed not to become an inhumane predator.

  I clenched my fists and placed them on my hips. “And the money? Is that part of the agreement?”

  I should have kept my mouth shut, but it was too late. I was about to turn away, but Kegan was faster. With one hand, he grabbed the back of my neck and tilted my head up toward him, forcing me to look at his mysterious face. His body pressed against mine, covered only by the towel wrapped around his waist. Rage and pleasure coursed through my veins.

  “Yes,” he replied.

  A drop of water fell from his forehead onto my skin. His fingers ran down my arms and wrapped around my wrists. Now held tightly to his chest, I was completely immobile. I had no choice but to look at his face as my heart beat stronger than I would have liked.

  “Now, let me explain the rules of this game,” he said, resting his lips on my forehead. “I will pay you for every day of our contract. If you behave, at the end of your time here, you will have one million dollars. If not, the convent is mine.”

  I blinked hard, trying to remember what was written on the paper I signed. There was no mention of money, not even in the fine print.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” he said confidently, his erection pressing against me through his towel. “The contract didn’t mention the money, so now you’re going to tell me these rules don’t count.”

  His voice sounded as if it came from far away. I was still thinking about the words I’d read. All the contract specified was that I would be his. There was no mention of receiving funds to buy the convent. These two weeks were supposed to be a sort of bartering: my body in exchange for the convent. This is what Mother Superior had understood and what I had agreed to.

  Kegan’s green eyes continued to examine my lost expression. “But I get to decide how this game works, Sister. You’re all mine. This means that I can do what I want. You have to behave, Rose, if you want your convent.”

  He let go of my wrists and traced his fingers up my exposed arms, making me shiver.

  “You have to do what I say,” he said, stepping away from me before coming closer once more. “And you’re not even trying,” he finished, eyeing my jeans.

  Our mouths met and I felt a familiar sensation between my legs, one that only he could make me feel so intensely. I didn’t think I could get so aroused, and for so little. Even the dumbest gesture from Kegan was enough to get me going. A pair of green eyes that looked me up and down, a tongue that had explored my most intimate parts and was now in my mouth. In that moment, I would have given ten years of my life to be his perfect teeth, his tongue, or even that piercing that hung from his left nipple. I would have even settled for being the drops of water that had yet to dry from his body. He was too much. Too gorgeous to not stare at. Too attractive to resist temptation.

  My arousal prevailed over everything, including rationality.

  Finn had warned me that Kegan would destroy me. Thinking back to his words sent a shiver down my spine. He was probably right. The more time I spent at Lust, the more I depended on his touch and warmth. Kegan was like smoking—once you started, it was hard to stop. Your willpower had to be stronger than your addiction to nicotine and to holding a cigarette between your lips. And he was harmful, just like tobacco. I was well aware of the damage he was doing, but his influence over me was stronger than my will to protect myself until I left Lust. His lips were my nicotine. Although I desperately wanted to cleanse my body of him, I knew I would allow that mouth to do whatever it wanted to me.

  I’d managed to quit real nicotine; would I be as successful with him?

  And Kegan? What did he want to do now?

  His silence pained me. He was thinking. His thoughts must have been so different from mine. I didn’t have the same influence over him that he had on me. He was indifferent to me. I was easily replaceable. But being aware of all this was of little use.

  My eyes travelled down his body until they reached his erection, no longer contained by the white towel. After a few seconds, I looked up to find his green eyes staring at me. Even his eyelashes were perfect. From the smile on his face, I could tell he’d caught me. The heat I felt between my legs travelled to my cheeks. I wanted him. But I was a novice. And getting caught staring at him like that was as embarrassing as it would have been to get caught having sex in church. I wanted to disappear.

  Suddenly Kegan pounced on me, his fingers stealthily freeing me from my jeans. He then looked back up at my burnin
g red face. “I like it when you blush.”

  It didn’t mean anything, but hearing him say it sent my heart into orbit. He’d said that nobody else would ever kiss me again, that he didn’t think he could ever get enough of me. Now he was saying he liked it when I turned red. But he’d said it all during sex, and I knew I couldn’t cling to things he said when we were naked and hope they meant something more.

  I lifted one foot and then the other, kicking my jeans to the side. His eyes landed on my white granny panties. I could have died. He probably didn’t like seeing me like this. I bet the basic white underwear had killed any fantasy running through his mind. I didn’t have the courage to look him in the eye so I just stared at my feet, trying to cover myself with my hands in vain.

  Kegan made a guttural sound. “My God, you’re insane.”

  I swallowed. What was that supposed to mean? Was it a compliment or was it his way of making fun of me? I had no idea what insane could mean for someone like him, the incarnation of every woman’s fantasy. Just then, his towel landed on the floor, and my heart jumped into my throat.

  “Get down on your knees, Rose.” His voice was hoarse. “I want you on your knees.” He planted his hands on my shoulders and my skin began to tingle. He gently pushed me down.

  I was… I was terrified. I knew what he wanted. What he would ask me to do. And I knew I couldn’t do it. I eyed his erection with fear as he wrapped his hands around my head.

  I’d tried once, with Paul, and it was a disaster. Within seconds I puked all over him. He was annoyed and we had to switch to regular sex. It was after that episode that he confessed he wanted to stay with Jenna. What if he’d decided to stick with her because I couldn’t give a blowjob?

  Kegan’s fingers were now intertwined in my hair, gripping my head. “Touch me,” he commanded, or maybe he was pleading.

  I ran my fingers from the base to the tip. His skin was hot.