The Road Without You

by H. M. Sholander

  I pull my shirt away from my body, glancing down at the marinara sauce. Sure enough, a giant glob of Parmesan cheese is stuck to my shirt. I groan, dropping my shirt and loosening my tie. “I need a shower.”

  “Was that an invitation?” Jax smirks, his eyes twinkling.

  “I’m standing right here,” Arya chimes in, waving at herself. “Can you wait until I leave the room?”

  She walks toward the kitchen, and Stella trails after her, barking.

  Anytime someone goes in the kitchen, she thinks she’s getting a reward, be it a dog treat or food scraps. The dog is so spoiled.

  I yank my tie from around my neck, holding it in my hand at my waist.

  Jax sweeps my vomit-soaked hair away from my face, his hand lingering on my cheek. “I have to go, but date tomorrow?”

  “Wait, I thought you were here waiting for me?”

  His face goes slack, and his mouth falls open, like he’s trying to find the words but is coming up empty.

  “What am I missing?” I step back, and his hand falls from my face.

  Graham coughs, and my eyes move to him as he stops next to Jax. “I wanted to see Arya.” He shrugs. “I used him as an excuse, and told him he had to come otherwise I’d blackmail him.”

  I cross my arms. I have a feeling something else entirely is going on. “Blackmail him with what?”

  “That I would tell you he can’t aim when he takes a piss.” Jax’s elbow collides with Graham’s stomach. “Why is everyone hitting me today?”

  “Because you really can’t keep a secret,” Jax explains.

  He drops a kiss to my forehead before he moves around me, opening the door. “See ya tomorrow, Red.” He walks out the door with Graham, leaving me standing next to the couch without any answers.

  Arya walks backward out of the kitchen, something rattling in her hand. Stella follows her, wagging her butt a mile a minute as she licks the carpet.

  I quirk an eyebrow at them as I take several steps in their direction, and that’s when I see it. “What are you doing?” I shriek.

  Arya peeks at me as my gaze shifts between her and Stella. “Giving her a treat.”

  “No wonder she’s so spoiled.” I throw my hands up before letting them fall back down. “Do you do this all the time? Is that why she always thinks she’s getting a treat when I go in the kitchen?”

  Arya stands up straight, closing the bag of treats in her hand. Stella eats the last two on the floor and stares up at Arya with sad eyes, whimpering.

  Arya shrugs, tossing the bag on the couch. “I’m teaching her a trick.”

  “What trick would that be?”

  “To follow me around,” she says, beaming, her hazel eyes shining.

  I groan as Stella continues to cry from her spot on the floor. “You’re gonna make her fat.”

  She points a finger at me. “But she will be happy and fat.”

  “I can’t with you two,” I mumble.

  Arya walks around the couch with Stella on her heels and plops on the couch. Stella jumps in Arya’s lap and licks her face.

  “See? She loves me.”

  I turn away from them to head up the stairs, and I step on a roll of aluminum foil. What in the world?

  I look up at Arya, but she’s preoccupied, mashing her face into Stella’s. I pick up the aluminum foil and toss it over the couch. It lands next to her, bouncing before it settles on the cushion. “Why was that on the floor?”

  Arya doesn’t turn to face me, so I walk around the couch, crossing my arms as I stand across from her.

  “No reason.” She avoids my eyes, stroking Stella’s fur.

  I pucker my lips. “What were Jax and Graham doing here?”

  “I don’t know.” She plays dumb.

  “Not buying it. Why did they leave so fast when I got home?”

  She wrinkles her nose as her eyes trail over me. “You probably scared them off. No offense, but you’re disgusting right now.”

  “Don’t avoid my question.” I tap my foot on the carpet.

  She pops off the couch, placing Stella on the ground, and moves around the couch to the stairs. “Don’t worry about it.”

  She runs up the stairs to get away from me, and I race through the living room to catch up to her.

  “Arya, get back here!”

  The tags on Stella’s collar clink together as she follows me upstairs. “Arya, what were you doing?” I ask just as her bedroom door slams shut.

  I jump up the last two stairs and turn the door handle to her room, but it doesn’t budge. “You locked me out?” I bang on the door. “What are you hiding?”

  She turns on the stereo in her room and blares the music, drowning me out. I let out a groan that doesn’t reach my ears because of her music.

  I stomp away from her door and walk into my room, closing it when Stella waddles in, putting a barrier between us and the noise coming from Arya’s room.

  I apply red lipstick to my pale pink lips and pucker in the mirror when I’m done. I nod to myself, taking in my straight blonde hair and blue blouse with cap sleeves.

  Turning around, I notice Stella lying on the corner of my bed, her head cocked to the side.

  I walk over to her and hold her face in my hands, placing a kiss on her wet nose. I laugh when I notice the small red smudge on her nose. I wipe it away before she jumps off the bed and runs out of my room as the doorbell rings through the house.

  I slip my feet in my gray flats and grab my black jacket off the bed. I shove my arms through it, tossing my phone in the pocket as I jog down the steps.

  Jax’s eyes meet mine as I hop off the last step. His arms snake around my waist, his mouth meeting mine. My hands cling to his shoulders as he dips me, and I let out a small yelp with my lips pressed against his.

  “Y’all are seriously adorable,” Arya says as Jax lifts me back up. “Why did you ever hate him?” She creases her brows.

  I scowl at her as Jax says, “Because I was an asshole.”

  “You said it, not me.” I laugh.

  Jax drops his hold on me and picks up Stella, who was jumping on his legs. She licks his face, her paws digging into his collarbone. I take her from him, setting her on the couch, and pat her head.

  “You had your turn yesterday,” I tell her as I narrow my eyes at Arya. “Now, it’s mine.”

  “Fighting over your man with your dog?” Arya laughs from the couch. “Tell me, if the house were on fire and you could only save either Jax or Stella, who would it be?”

  I furrow my eyebrows as I wipe dog hair off my jacket. “What kind of question is that? And why are those my only options? Who would save your sleeping ass?”

  She waves me off. “I can take care of myself, and it’s valid. What if the house were on fire?”

  I scoff. “What if aliens invaded?”

  She taps a finger on the side of her face, her mouth in an O shape. “Good question. I would save Stella over you.” She nods her head, like she’s agreeing with herself.

  Jax laughs behind me, and I whip my head around, frowning at him. He stops when he sees the look on my face, holding his hands up in surrender. I step toward the couch and lean over the back of it, snatching up the blanket. I ball it up and chuck it at Arya’s face, and she yells, the sound muffled as it connects with her face.

  I turn away from her, ignoring her and a barking Stella as I grab Jax’s hand and march out the front door.

  “So, where are we going?” I ask as his strides catch up to mine.

  “Secret,” he says, dropping my hand and opening the truck door for me.

  “More secrets?” I complain.

  He shakes his head. “What do you mean, more?”

  I climb inside, shifting in the seat, as he steps in the space between me and the door. “Arya wouldn’t tell me why you and Graham were here yesterday, and there’s no way I believe Graham’s story.”

  “Ah,” he says in understanding. “So you think I can go to the bathroom without leaving a mess on th
e seat, unlike Graham?”

  I lean forward and grab the door handle and shove him out of the way. “I believe you’re full of secrets.” I slam the door closed on his perfect smiling face.

  I buckle my seat belt and sigh as I lean back in the seat as he jumps in the truck.

  “Don’t be so down, Red.” He pats my leg as he drives away from the house. “Everything will come together soon.”

  “Fine.”

  His eyes slide over to me. “Don’t fine me.”

  I want to stick my tongue out at him, but instead of acting like a two-year-old, I scrunch my face at him.

  I’m not mad, but I would like to know what’s going on.

  I guess I should go with the flow and stop being a turd. Jax has been through a lot the last couple of days, and he doesn’t need me giving him a hard time over something so silly. There are more important things than me knowing what Jax is hiding, like Sam and his mom.

  He’s gone through so much, and there’s a lot I don’t know about what he has had to endure, but one thing I do know is Jax is stronger than he thinks he is.

  Music floats through the cab, a gentle hum coating us as we drive in silence.

  I peek at him from the corner of my eye, and my mouth curves up. He’s at ease as he leans back against the seat. He drives like it brings him comfort. His lips move as he silently sings along to the music filling the small space.

  I could get used to this, me and him, nothing else. Everything feels right, like we were intended to fall together. We never had a chance, no matter how hard we tried to fight each other when we met.

  Sometimes I feel like we are so different yet the same. We both fight for what we love, but Jax has fought a lot longer than me.

  He has dealt with more than I can imagine. He pretty much raised his sister into this adorable little girl, who beams every time he’s around. I wonder if he sees that, if he knows he’s her entire world.

  He makes a left turn, taking us closer to our destination, wherever that is.

  I watch out the window as we drive past houses that no longer have Halloween decorations outside. Everyone is shifting to Thanksgiving mode, leaving uncarved pumpkins on their doorstep with fake leaves wrapped around them and wreaths hanging on their doors.

  The holidays come and go so fast this time of year. I wish I could freeze time, letting this part of the year play out over and over.

  I remember, when I was younger, my parents and I would curl up by the fireplace, watching movies. The smell of burning wood filled the house, and it would linger for days, keeping a smile on my face and my chest light every time I walked in the door.

  Jax turns off the music, drawing my attention. “How ’bout a do-over?”

  “Why would I ever want a do-over?”

  I believe everything happens for a reason. The good, the bad, and the ugly shape us into the people we are, into people who can flourish despite all the obstacles.

  “I’m hoping this is one do-over you want,” he says, making a right turn down a familiar narrow road.

  “I don’t know. It’d have to be a really good do-over. Something earth-shattering that would knock me off my feet and shoot me through the sky.”

  “Hmm. That’s asking for a lot, but I can do it.” He smirks as the road bends.

  He pulls up to a field that’s littered with pick-up trucks. People amble around with food in their hands, making my mouth water without me having to smell it.

  He throws the truck in park and cuts the ignition, his face bright as he stares at me before he hops out. He opens the door, which I might have complained about if I wasn’t so focused on my stomach grumbling. I don’t care what they say about chivalry. I can open my own damn doors.

  When I’m out of the truck, his arms slip around my waist, facing me the other direction.

  “This might do,” I say with a smile in my voice. Because this is the best do-over ever.

  “What do you say, we grab some food before the movie starts?”

  “Only if you don’t get a hamburger,” I say sternly, pointing at him like I’m scolding a child.

  His hand flies to his chest. “I would never, not when something as delicious as lobster nachos are nearby.”

  “Good because this”—I wave my hand between us—“would not last if you got a burger.”

  A drive-in movie. I love the idea of a do-over even though I wouldn’t erase my date with Nathan because I like to think this is where Jax and I started. The hint of a friendship blossoming because of a muddy dog.

  How about a second chance instead of a do-over? I never did get the whole experience of a drive-in movie—the thing I’ve wanted to do for as long as I can remember. The idea of cuddling up together, watching a movie outside, has always appealed to me. Maybe it’s the night sky with the stars shining bright, making the experience completely different than your average movie. Whatever it is, it’s magic.

  We head back to the truck with our nachos in hand. I eat several, savoring the gooey, melted white cheese mixed with salsa and a hint of spice. If I died this second, I would die in pure bliss. That’s how good these are.

  “Can’t you wait until we get to the truck?” Jax questions, walking ahead of me.

  “No, I can’t wait. I’m freaking starving and impatient. Have you met me?”

  He chuckles. “I have. But don’t you want me to feed you, like in those sappy movies?”

  I stop three feet behind him as he lets down the back of the truck. “No, I do not ever want you to feed me.”

  He laughs louder, bending over, almost dropping his food in the grass, which would be a sin in my book.

  Catching his breath, he holds out his nachos for me to take and then jumps on the bed of the truck. He stands upright and moves to the back of the truck, unzipping an oversize duffel bag. He takes out several blankets and two pillows. He rearranges them, placing the pillows against the back window and spreading out one of the blankets on the bed of the truck for us to sit on. He leaves the other two blankets off to the side, not bothering to unfold them.

  I watch him in awe, wondering how I ended up back in this place but with everything completely different.

  It’s funny how I couldn’t stand him in the beginning, how I hated everything about him, and how he reminded me of Travis.

  I was wrong about Jax Andrews. Sometimes, being wrong is the best thing that can happen, and it leads you right where you’re supposed to be.

  Leaning over, he motions for me to hand him the food I’m holding.

  “I don’t want to give it to you. Don’t you think it would be a good idea to let me have yours, too?”

  “If you want them, they’re yours,” he states without hesitation.

  “If that isn’t the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” I say in the most proper Southern accent I can muster.

  “Sure, that gets a reaction out of you, but compliments you brush off. Noted. Food is the way to your heart.”

  I wink at him, smirking. “Always.”

  After I pass the food to him, I leap onto the back of the truck.

  We sit against the pillows, and he throws the two extra blankets over us, shielding us from the cold.

  I decide to be nice and let him feed me but only once because that’s all I can take. It made him happy, and that’s all I want for both of us.

  And, in this moment, that’s what I am—happier than I ever thought I would be.

  As the movie plays out in front of us, I gaze up at the sky. The stars are brighter than I’ve ever seen them, twinkling in the night. I was right. This is magic.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, noticing I’m not paying attention to the movie.

  “Nothing.” I stare into his eyes. Even in the darkness, hints of blue flare out from the gray. He’s beautiful. “I’m perfect.”

  His gaze trails the length of my face as his hand cups my jaw. He leans into me, his lips brushing mine, and my eyes flutter as the smell of mint floats over me.

  There isn�
��t anything I would change about how I ended up in this place because every event in my life has led me to him.

  His mouth connects with mine, stealing everything from me. My breath. My mind. My soul.

  Jax

  Raegan closes her bedroom door, though I’m not sure why, seeing as Arya sent her a text when we were on our way back from the movie, saying she took Stella and went to my place. I can’t imagine why she took Stella with her. Arya is most likely going to be hooking up with Graham tonight. But I don’t worry about it too much. The guys will look after Stella probably more than they do Walker since she’s so tiny.

  Raegan takes off her jacket, hanging it up in her closet, and I stick my hand in my jeans pocket, pulling out the thing that I’ve been dying to give her all night.

  I take it out, fisting it in my hand, as I walk up behind her. I flip her around to face me before she has a chance to kick off her shoes.

  She looks up at me with her blue eyes, and I inhale, loving the warm vanilla scent that invades my senses.

  “So, the reason I was here yesterday—”

  She beams, her eyes bright. “I’m finally gonna be let in the loop on whatever you and Arya have been hiding from me?” she interrupts.

  I chuckle under my breath as I lift my hand to her chin, my thumb grazing her soft skin. “Yes, Red, but you have to let me finish.”

  She lifts her hand to her mouth, zipping her lips.

  “I got you something, but I needed something from Stella first.”

  Her brows crease at my words. “What do you mean?”

  I bring my hand up for her to see and unclench my fingers. Her eyes move to the necklace in the palm of my hand. She reaches up and takes it, holding the chain in both of her hands.

  The circle pendant dangles on the silver chain, and she shifts her eyes from me to it.

  “It’s Stella’s paw print,” I tell her. “Now, you’ll always have her with you.”

  Her mouth falls open as she takes the pendant in her hand, examining it closer.

  I found someone who could transfer Stella’s paw print to a necklace. They got it done in one day and added Stella’s name to the small pendent.

  I know how much Raegan loves her, and I hope this shows her how much she means to me.