The Way Back Home

by Barbara Freethy

  Gabe stretched, giving her a smile, then handed her the phone that had slipped out of her jeans sometime in the night. “You look beautiful.”

  She tucked her hair behind her ears, feeling both pleased and a little self-conscious to be naked in the morning light. She pulled the blanket up over her breasts and stared down at the phone. As Keith’s number popped up, she felt an overwhelming wave of guilt at what she’d done.

  “What’s the problem?” Gabe asked.

  “You know the problem.” She set down the phone. “I need to get dressed.”

  “Clothes are required for phone calls?” he asked dryly as she scrambled to get her bra and top from where she’d thrown them the night before.

  “For this phone call, yes.”

  Gabe didn’t make any move toward his own clothes, his eyes on her as she tried to get her bra on under the blanket.

  “You know I’ve already seen everything,” he drawled.

  “Last night was different.”

  “That’s obvious.”

  She struggled with the clasp, thinking that her clothes had come off a lot easier than they were going on. But then, she’d been drunk on tequila and passion, and the shadows had made everything easier. She hadn’t really had to look at him or at herself.

  Gabe got up without any hint of modesty, and the sight of his beautiful body only made her fumble her clothes more. He gave her another smile and then grabbed his boxers and jeans and pulled them up over his long legs. He tossed her panties and jeans to her and turned his back to her. “Will this help?”

  Without his gaze on her, she quickly finished dressing. She pulled on her shoes and walked several feet away from the dock, searching for a signal. Turning her back to Gabe and the memories of the night before, she waited for Keith to answer.

  “Hello, Alicia. We’re just heading to school,” he said a moment later. “I tried your phone earlier, but it went to voice-mail.”

  “I had the ringer off,” she said.

  “Didn’t want to get any birthday calls?”

  “Exactly. Can I talk to Justin?”

  “Is everything okay, Alicia? You sound kind of funny.”

  “I’m still a little sleepy. I slept in.”

  “Well, you probably needed a good night’s sleep after everything that’s been going on. I trust it was a quiet night at your house.”

  Another wave of guilt ran through her. She should have been at home keeping watch over the property, looking out for her father. She really hoped it had been a quiet night.

  “Do you want to get together tonight, Alicia?” Keith continued. “I’ll make you dinner. It won’t be a birthday celebration, exactly, but maybe we can toast to a new year.”

  He was being super nice, and she felt like the most horrible person in the world. “I’m not sure. I should probably spend some time with Justin at home tonight. You’ve done a lot for us lately. I have not been keeping up on my end of things.”

  “You’ve had quite a bit going on. We’ll discuss it at the baseball game. I’ll see you there this afternoon, right?”

  “Yes, I’ll be there.”

  “Great. Here’s Justin.”

  “Hi, Mom,” Justin said a moment later.

  “Hi, honey. Did you have fun last night?”

  “Yes! Keith helped us go on the Internet, and you know what we found? The story of the five arrowheads online. There was even a map. We printed it out so we can use it when we go to look. Isn’t that cool?”

  “Very cool,” she said, her mind barely registering his words, as she turned around and saw Gabe folding up the blanket and gathering up the tequila bottle and cups. “Have a good day. I’ll pick you up after school and take you to the baseball game.”

  “Don’t forget my cleats,” he said.

  She heard the unspoken words: like you did the last time. The thing about having a kid at nineteen was that sometimes you grew up together, and sometimes the roles weren’t as clearly defined. She did have a tendency to forget things, usually because she was trying to do ten things at once, but Justin was insistent about having everything he needed when he needed it.

  “I won’t forget,” she promised.

  “’Bye, Mom. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” She slipped the phone into her pocket and walked back to Gabe.

  “Everything all right?” he asked.

  “Justin had a good time.”

  “And Keith?”

  She looked away from his questioning gaze. She didn’t know what to do about Keith, and at the moment, her head was pounding too hard to make any decisions. She rubbed her temple. “Let’s go back to the house.”

  “In a minute. Did you really just tell Keith you love him?”

  His question took her by surprise. “I was talking to Justin.”

  “Good. You need to break up with Keith.”

  The pounding in her head grew worse. She rubbed her temple. “I’m not going to talk about Keith with you.”

  “You can’t seriously pretend last night didn’t happen!”

  “But are we going to have more than last night, Gabe? Or is this going to be like the last time?”

  His lips drew into a tight line, conflict shading his eyes. It took him way too long to come up with an answer, and her pride wouldn’t let her wait any longer.

  “Your silence says it all.”

  She tried to move past him, but he grabbed her arm. “Alicia, wait.”

  “Why?”

  He drew in a long breath. “If I was going to be with someone, it would be you. Last night was amazing. I’ll never forget it. But I’m not good at relationships.”

  “Maybe that’s because you’ve never had one.” She paused, wondering if she was wrong about that. “Or maybe you have. Have you been in love?”

  Another long pause. “I fell in love once, but I didn’t act on it.”

  His gaze bored into hers. Was he talking about her? Or was she misreading him?

  “I know myself, Alicia,” he continued. “I know my limitations. And I want the best for you.”

  “Then why did you tell me to break up with Keith?”

  “Because I don’t think he’s the best.”

  “Isn’t he? Isn’t Keith all the things you aren’t? He knows how to be a husband and a father, a family man.”

  “If you were in love with him, you wouldn’t have slept with me.”

  “I was drunk.”

  “Is that the excuse you’re going with?”

  She ran a hand through her tangled hair, realizing that she probably looked as messy as she felt. “Does it matter?”

  “You shouldn’t settle, Alicia. It’s not fair to him or to you. Rob was worried about you doing that. He said he didn’t want you to marry just to give Justin a dad.”

  “Is that why you had sex with me last night, Gabe? To show me what it could be like if I didn’t settle?”

  His jaw tightened. “I wanted you,” he said roughly. “That was my only reason.”

  Her body tingled with his words, with the memories. “You’re the one who’s settling, Gabe. Not for a woman but for a life that’s safe and won’t break your heart.”

  “I don’t have a heart left to break.”

  “Yes, you do, or you wouldn’t be trying so damn hard to protect it.” Shrugging her arm out of his grip, she started walking down the path. After a few feet, she stopped and looked back. He hadn’t moved. “And I don’t want you thinking you took advantage of me, that you betrayed Rob in some way, because I know that’s what you’re thinking right now. I bought the tequila, I poured the drinks, and I took off my top. I take responsibility for what I did. And you know what? It was great. It was really great. But it’s over now. We have to live in reality, whatever that turns out to be.”

  There were things he wanted to say, probably should say, but he couldn’t find the right words, and as Gabe followed Alicia back to her house, he thought it was just as well.

  They parted company in front of Rob�
�s house. He headed straight into the bedroom and flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He was exhausted, but it was the ache in his heart that was most disturbing. How could he miss her already? He had a stiff neck from holding Alicia all night and an ache in his lower back where the bolt from the dock had been pressing into him, but it was totally worth it. The night before had been amazing. She’d been great. He hadn’t felt that kind of passion since … well, since the last time he’d been with her.

  And it wasn’t just the physical attraction. He liked her. He liked talking to her. And he admired her even more for taking responsibility for what happened. She hadn’t blamed the tequila or him. She’d owned up to what she wanted. She had a hell of a lot more courage than he did.

  She was also damn good at reading him. He was used to guarding his thoughts, hiding his feelings, and he’d believed he was good at it. But somehow Alicia saw into his head in a way that no one else could. Another reason to stay away from her. He didn’t need anyone getting that close.

  But a voice inside his head asked why. Wasn’t that really what he’d always wanted—that kind of closeness that came from a deep emotional connection?

  Shit! She was making him crazy, and he was tired. He closed his eyes. Maybe when he woke up, he’d be ready to take her on again. Because one thing he knew for sure: he wasn’t leaving until he’d done what he’d come to do.

  Gabe woke up just before two o’clock. After a shower, a shave, and some eggs and toast, he felt ready to take on the day.

  He walked through the woods toward Alicia’s house, not sure what he’d say when he saw her again, but he wasn’t going to hide at Rob’s place. There was work to be done.

  When he got to the house, he found George on the porch. He was talking on his cell phone but motioned for Gabe to wait.

  George hung up a second later and gave him a weary smile. “I was wondering where you were.”

  “I’m getting a later start today. I apologize.”

  George waved his words away. “Don’t be ridiculous. Alicia told me you sat on this porch all night after the fire to make sure no one came back.”

  Yeah, but what about the night before? He hadn’t given one thought to the property being unprotected. So much for doing his duty.

  “I saw that you got a start on the rebuilding, too,” George added. “What do you think?”

  “It’s going to take work, but everything can be redone.”

  He nodded approvingly. “I like that attitude. Bill and I ordered some equipment. It should be here in a couple of days. Alicia has been working on our Web site this morning, getting the reservation system up and going. Now we just need some customers.”

  “I have some buddies who want to come down. I spoke to Alicia about them.”

  “Good, very good. And I spoke to Simon, our top guide. He’s been delayed, but he should be here by Friday. He’s a hell of a river guide. With him and Alicia on the runs, we should be fine for a while, until I can get back out there.”

  He wanted to tell George that Alicia wasn’t ready to handle any runs, but he couldn’t break her confidence, so he said, “Sounds good. I need to get some wood. I want to put in some supports so you can go into the office without anything falling on your head.”

  “I really appreciate that, Gabe. Didn’t know you were a builder.”

  “Just basic stuff, but I can at least make it safe to go inside. Can you tell me where the nearest lumber yard is?”

  “Elm Street. Just take the main road into town, but turn right on Poplar, left on Tallway, and then right on Elm. There’s a big sign by the highway. You can’t miss it.” George paused. “We’ll reimburse you, Gabe.”

  “Don’t worry about that. We’ll settle up later. Is Alicia around?”

  “No, she went into town. Justin has a baseball game after school. It’s at McClaren’s Park. You’ll actually pass it on the way to the lumber yard.”

  “I’ll see you around, then.” He headed back to his house, got into his truck, and drove into town, telling himself that he was not going to stop at the baseball field. But the field was very near the lumber yard, and despite his better instincts, he pulled into the parking lot and got out.

  There were two fields in action and kids everywhere dressed in blue and gold, red and white, purple and black uniforms. There was a snack bar selling candy and drinks and sign-up sheets to help with the upcoming baseball tournament.

  He saw Alicia and Keith standing by the fence talking to Justin and David, and his steps slowed. They looked like a family, mom and dad and two kids. He paused by the snack-bar table, watching their conversation. Keith was leaning over, talking to the boys with great enthusiasm. Then he gave them each a high five, and the boys ran out to the field. Keith put his arm around Alicia’s shoulders, and they stood together, watching their children.

  A knot in his throat began to grow. He’d watched this kind of scene before when some foster parent had dropped him off at the field the few times he actually made it to a game. All of the parents were in the stands cheering on their kids, some even arguing with the umpires, but he’d always been alone, always on the outside. Just like he was today.

  This wasn’t his scene. What he’d told Alicia earlier was absolutely true. He didn’t know how to be the kind of guy who did this—but Keith did.

  He really hated Keith.

  But he hated himself more for getting in the way of their relationship.

  What the fuck had he been thinking?

  He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t realize that Keith was leaving to talk to someone, and Alicia was walking in his direction.

  He should have left when he had the chance.

  “What are you doing here? Is everything all right at home?” she asked.

  “Yes. I was on my way to the lumber yard, and your dad said you’d be here. Justin plays third base, huh?”

  “He does sometimes. I don’t really like it because the ball comes so fast. I’d rather he was in the outfield, but Keith says he’s a really good infielder.”

  He noticed that Keith was now in the coach’s box at third base. “He coaches, too?”

  “He helps out.”

  “He’s quite a helpful guy, isn’t he?”

  She gave him a steady look. “Do you want to watch the game?”

  “No, I’m going to leave you to it.”

  “You can stay, Gabe. If you want to …” she added a little awkwardly.

  “I should pick up the lumber. I hope Justin has a good game. I’ll see you later.” He turned and left before he could give in to the temptation to spend a little more time in a life he was never going to have.

  She’d fallen back into her old life, Kelly thought as she sorted through the laundry in the house her mother shared with her brother, Ian. After cooking breakfast for the guests at the inn, she’d driven her mom to the local hospital for her pre-op consultation, stopped by the market to pick up supplies, and now was hoping to do a few loads of laundry before dinner service. She didn’t really mind the busywork. It kept her from thinking, and ever since she’d spoken to Russell the day before, her thoughts had been going down a path she didn’t want them to take.

  Russell’s attitude about the fire at Alicia’s house had been disturbing. He’d been almost gleeful. She wanted to believe his denial, but she couldn’t help wondering who else might be feeling as much anger as Russell.

  Her mother stepped into the laundry room. Lynette was a tiny brunette who never gained a pound, no matter how many desserts she ate. It was unbelievable that as thin as she was, she would have such bad hip problems. It would be good to see her moving more freely and without any pain.

  “You don’t have to do the laundry,” her mother said. “I didn’t bring you here to work nonstop, Kelly. I appreciate your help in the restaurant, but you don’t need to do all this.”

  “I don’t mind. Although I wouldn’t mind making Ian sort through his own smelly socks.” She made a face as she tossed her
brother’s socks into the washer.

  “I don’t know where Ian is. He didn’t come home last night. I’ve been calling him all day, and he hasn’t answered. I’m getting worried.”

  “You know how he is with his phone. Half the time, he doesn’t have it or it’s not charged.” She could see that her rationalizations were not easing her mother’s mind. “I can try to find him.”

  “Would you do that? I don’t know what’s going on in his head these days, but he’s changed since he dropped out of school. He used to be so focused on his studies. He wanted to be a veterinarian. Now I have no idea what he wants to be.”

  “He’s confused, a little lost. That happens to kids around his age.”

  “I wish your father were here. He’d know what to do.”

  “He probably would,” Kelly said. “I’ll try to find Ian as soon as I get this laundry started.”

  “Is everything all right with you, Kelly? I know it’s been hard for you to come home. I probably shouldn’t have asked, but I really wanted you here.”

  “And I want to be here. I’m glad I came back. Not just for you, either. I’m starting to feel like I don’t know what happened with Brian’s accident.”

  Her mother looked surprised by her words. “What don’t you know, honey?”

  “Whether it was just an accident or if the Haydens were responsible.”

  “Maybe you’ll never know that.”

  “Alicia said I listened to what everyone had to say but her.”

  “You did shut her out.”

  “I was angry and devastated, and everyone thought Alicia and her father had screwed up. But maybe she didn’t do anything wrong. I’m still trying to sort it all out. I’m really worried about what’s going on. The fire at her place was pretty bad.”

  “You went out there?” her mother asked in surprise.

  “It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. She was not happy to see me.”

  “I wish the two of you would find a way to make up.”

  “Well, right now, I’m more concerned with crimes being committed on Brian’s behalf. He wouldn’t want that, and I need to stand up for him—and for myself.”

  Her mother smiled. “Good for you. Just be careful,” she added, her smile dimming. “If people think you’re switching sides, you could end up in the middle of a nasty fight.”