The Way Back Home

by Barbara Freethy

  “It will still be better than standing on the sidelines.” She thought about what Jared had said about her staying in the background. “I do that too much, don’t I, Mom? I let others take the lead.”

  “You’re sometimes more quiet than your friends, but I don’t think you’ve ever been led somewhere you didn’t want to go.”

  Kelly smiled. “Thanks for that. You should lie down and rest. And don’t worry about Ian. I’m sure he’s just being a normal, irresponsible, self-centered twenty-year-old.”

  As her mother left, she scooped up another pile of laundry and tossed it into the washer, then dug through the hamper for more colors to add in. As she pulled out a pair of Ian’s jeans, she was assaulted by a very strong smell. For a moment, she couldn’t place it, and then she realized it was gasoline.

  Her heart jumped. Gasoline?

  Ian could have gotten gas on his hands while filling up his car and maybe wiped his hands on his jeans, but the smell was really strong.

  Or he could have gotten the gasoline on his jeans when he cut Alicia’s fuel line.

  Or when he set the boatyard on fire.

  Oh, God! She needed to find Ian fast.

  Alicia had trouble concentrating on the baseball game. She kept thinking about the odd yearning look on Gabe’s face. And it wasn’t just her he’d been looking at but the field, the crowd, the kids, as if he’d just landed in a foreign country and couldn’t speak the language.

  He’d never had this kind of childhood. Her heart ached for the lost, lonely, neglected boy he’d once been. He would never get his childhood back. But she hoped he could one day move forward, have kids of his own. As a parent, you got to do childhood all over again, from a slightly different perspective. It was one thing she loved about being a mom. She could celebrate the holidays, get dressed up at Halloween, talk to Santa, share with Justin all the fun, silly things she’d done as a kid.

  She doubted that Gabe had ever celebrated the holidays. They’d probably just reminded him of what he didn’t have. No wonder he’d found such comfort in the Marines. He’d gotten an instant family, a band of brothers. He didn’t have those brothers anymore, at least not in the same way, and losing Rob had to have left a huge hole in his life. Only she knew how big that hole was.

  Being with Gabe had made her feel like she was coming back to life. Maybe it had been reckless and stupid to make love to him, but she didn’t have regrets. They might not have a future, but they would always have a past.

  She started as people around her began to clap and realized that one of the kids on Justin’s team had just hit a home run. She needed to start paying attention. But as the teams changed pitchers, her gaze drifted across the field, and she wondered if Gabe might have come back to sneak a peek at the game.

  But it wasn’t Gabe she saw by the trees near the outfield fence; it was Ian Palmer. He was dressed in jeans and an oversized sweatshirt. On impulse, she got up from the stands and walked toward him. Aside from their brief encounter the other day at the carnival, she hadn’t talked to him since Brian’s death.

  When he saw her, he straightened, glancing around quickly as if he wanted to leave, but she wasn’t about to let him run away. She needed someone to give her an insight into the enemy camp. Kelly was out, and the Farrs definitely wouldn’t talk to her, so Ian was her best bet.

  “Hey there,” she said. “What are you doing out here?”

  “Just watching the game,” he said with a shrug.

  “I remember when Kelly and I used to watch you play. You were an All-Star pitcher.”

  “A long time ago,” he said grimly.

  Her gaze narrowed as she noted the pallor of his face, the growth of beard on his jaw, the messy hair and wrinkled clothes. “You don’t look so good. Are you feeling all right?”

  “I’m fine. I gotta go.”

  “Ian, wait.”

  He kept walking. She followed him toward the parking lot.

  “You owe me,” she said.

  He paused, turning. “For what?”

  “Our friendship.”

  “We’re not friends anymore. You killed Brian.”

  His words stabbed hard and deep. She should have been used to the accusation by now, but every time it came, it hurt. “It was an accident.”

  “Everyone else says otherwise.”

  “Who is everyone else, Ian? I need to know who’s after me. Someone set fire to my office and boatyard. The fire could have spread to our house. We could have been hurt. Justin could have been hurt,” she added. “I can’t imagine you’d want that.”

  His face was white now. “I didn’t do it, Alicia.”

  “I wasn’t accusing you,” she said, surprised that he’d jump to that conclusion.

  “You need to shut it down. Then it will all stop. Just close the business and move on, or someone is going to get hurt.”

  “Is that a threat?” she asked in shock.

  “It’s a warning. You should take it.”

  He walked away, leaving her to wonder why his warning felt so personal. He’d denied setting the fire, yet he’d assumed that she was accusing him. Why was he acting as if he were guilty? Was he lying? Had he done it for Kelly? For Brian?

  Her stomach churned. Never in her wildest imaginings would she have considered that Ian could turn on her in such a way.

  “Alicia?”

  She turned her head to see Keith walking toward her. The two teams were shaking hands. Apparently, the game was over.

  “Who were you talking to?” he asked.

  “Ian Palmer.”

  Keith raised an eyebrow. “What was he doing here?”

  “He said he was watching the game, but he gave me a warning. Shut down the business before someone gets hurt.”

  Keith sighed. “I don’t think this will end until you do.”

  “You really believe we should just give in to these threats?” She was disappointed in his reaction but not surprised. He’d been saying much the same thing even before the fire.

  “You’re going to work really hard and waste a lot of time and money and end up at the same place that you’re in right now.”

  “Possibly, if you want to go with the worst-case scenario.”

  “I know that’s not what you want to hear, and I’m trying to support you, Alicia, but it’s getting to be too much. This business is consuming our lives.”

  “It doesn’t have to consume yours,” she said shortly.

  His lips tightened. “What does that mean?”

  “I’ve been dumping Justin on you, and you’ve been great. If it’s too much—”

  “It’s not,” he said quickly. “I don’t want to break up with you, Alicia. We were just getting to a good place when Rob died, and I know you need time to sort things out.”

  They had been getting to a good place, but her brother’s death had made her realize that life was short, very short. And Gabe’s arrival and her ridiculous, insane attraction to him had reminded her that passion was very important to her. She cared about Keith. She loved many things about him. But she wasn’t in love with him. And suddenly, it was very, very clear.

  “I don’t think I can be the woman you need,” she said slowly.

  “I think you can. It’s too soon to cut things off.”

  “Too soon is better than too late. It will hurt less.”

  He shook his head. “No, not now, not while you’re upset about the fire and Rob. We’ll discuss this later, when we’ve had a chance to really be together.”

  Justin and David ran over with their bat bags and snacks, so this was clearly not the time to have a serious conversation.

  “Did you see my catch, Mommy?” Justin asked eagerly.

  Luckily, it was one of the few plays she had seen. “I did. It was awesome.”

  “The team is going for pizza, because it’s Carson’s birthday. Can we go?”

  She’d been disappointing Justin a lot lately; today was going to be different. “Pizza sounds great.”

>   Keith gave her a reassuring smile. “It’s all going to work out, Alicia. You’ll see.”

  Kelly stopped in at Jared’s auto shop, finding him on his back underneath Alicia’s car. He rolled out when she called his name, surprise in his eyes.

  “What’s up?” he asked, sitting up. He grabbed a nearby rag and wiped off his hands.

  She looked around at the other men who were working in the area. “Can I talk to you somewhere more private?”

  “That sounds interesting.”

  “It’s not like that,” she said, catching the teasing glint in his eyes.

  “Let’s go out back.” He led her through the shop to a back patio that was used as a break area. “What’s happened now?”

  “I was doing laundry, and Ian’s jeans smelled like gasoline. I don’t know what it means, but my gut tells me it means something.”

  Jared gave her a long, thoughtful look. “You think Ian set the fire at Alicia’s place?”

  “Or cut the fuel line. He’s pretty good with cars.”

  “Did you confront him?”

  “He isn’t answering his phone. I’ve left a couple of messages, and my mom said he didn’t come home last night. What do you think I should do?”

  “We have to find him. I’m about done here. If you can give me about fifteen minutes, I’m all yours.”

  “I’m sorry I keep running to you with my problems.”

  “I’m happy to help, Kelly. And don’t jump to any conclusions. If Ian had been involved, I doubt he would have just tossed his clothes into the laundry bin for anyone to find.”

  “Really? Because I feel like that’s exactly what Ian would do, never expecting that my mom would notice a thing. Or if she did, she wouldn’t say anything. She always gave him too much freedom. After my dad died, she just couldn’t say no to him. I was the one who had to do that.”

  He put a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll figure it out.”

  “I hope so.” She tilted her head to give him a smile. “It’s so strange. I don’t find you nearly as annoying as I used to.”

  He grinned. “Well, that’s something. You can wait for me here. I’ll get done as soon as I can.”

  She sat down in a chair. Jared had a way of making her problems seem a lot less important. She always took things too seriously. She needed someone to balance that out. Brian had done that for her, too, she realized. But Brian had never been quite so involved in her problems.

  Sighing, she rolled her neck around on her shoulders and wondered how her life had gone from being so simple to being so complicated.

  Seventeen

  Dinner at the pizza parlor was noisy and crowded, giving Alicia no time to speak to Keith alone, which was probably a good thing. She needed to have a heart-to-heart talk with him, but she was relieved to put it off for a while. She was tired, and she needed to get her thoughts together before they talked.

  Just after seven, Alicia drove a tired Justin home. As they walked toward the front door, she could see the progress Gabe had made on the office building. He’d stripped off some of the outer walls and inserted some new posts. It felt good to see something other than ashes. It made her feel more hopeful.

  Justin ran ahead of her into the house, where an excited Sadie greeted them with wet kisses. Alicia set down her bag on a side table and walked into the living room. She wasn’t surprised to see Gabe sitting with her dad. She also wasn’t surprised at the way her pulse leaped and her nerves tingled. Being around Gabe always put her a little on edge. Even when she knew she was going to run into him, she still wasn’t quite ready.

  As she said hello, Justin flopped down onto the couch next to Gabe. She took a seat in an armchair.

  “How was the game?” her dad asked Justin.

  “I got a hit and a walk, and I only struck out twice,” her son said.

  “It was a good hit,” Gabe put in. “I thought you might get a triple out of it, but that kid in left field had a good arm.”

  Justin sat up a little straighter at Gabe’s praise. “You saw my hit?” he asked, his face a picture of pleased surprise.

  “You saw his hit?” she echoed. “I thought you’d left.”

  “I watched a little from the car,” Gabe said. Turning back to Justin, he added, “Rob told me you were a good hitter. Said you had a good eye for balls and strikes.”

  “I’m not bad,” Justin said, his eyes sparkling with pride. “Uncle Rob taught me how to hit.”

  “He gave me a few pointers, too,” Gabe said. “We used to play behind our barracks sometimes.”

  “I didn’t know you could play baseball in the Marines.”

  “On occasion. Your uncle had a very good swing.”

  “That’s cool.” Justin turned to his grandfather. “You know what else we did today, Grandpa?”

  “I have no idea,” George said with a smile.

  “The library lady at school helped David and me go on the Internet, and we found more stuff on Five Arrows Point and a way better map than the one we found before. It will be easier to find when we go out there.”

  Alicia sighed. Her son had a one-track mind. “Justin, I told you that’s going to have to wait.”

  The boy gave her a mutinous glare.

  “Why don’t you tell me more about the arrowheads,” Gabe said, drawing Justin’s attention back to him. “Each one stands for something, right?”

  “Yes. There’s Courage,” Justin began, counting off on his fingers. “Wisdom, Perseverance,” he added, stumbling a bit over the long word. “Patience and Sacrifice. The braves were left in the middle of the woods, and they had to find five arrowheads along the way to the big rock. Then they had to climb to the top with all the arrowheads. When they got there, they became warriors.”

  “That sounds a lot like boot camp,” Gabe said. “When you join the service, they teach you how to be a marine. You have to be courageous, smart about your actions, willing to persevere through hard times, sacrifice yourself for your fellow soldier, and patiently wait for the right moment to strike or to retreat.” He paused. “Seems like you already have a lot of those traits, Justin. You were smart enough to look on the Internet and get more information, and you’re certainly determined, but I’m not so sure about the patience. When you’re a marine, or a warrior, you have to follow the leader of your unit or your tribe, right?”

  “Yes,” Justin said warily.

  “Well, around here, your mom is the leader, and you have to respect her decisions.”

  “But she’s not a warrior.”

  “No? She’s got a big battle on her hands trying to rebuild after the fire the other night and get the business ready to reopen in a few weeks. Maybe you can practice patience and give her a break.”

  Justin frowned, obviously not liking the answer, but she could see that he also wanted Gabe’s respect. “I guess,” he said finally.

  “Why don’t you go take a shower, honey, and then you can do your homework,” Alicia said.

  Justin got off the couch with a heavy sigh. “Okay, but we’re still going to go, right?”

  “As soon as we can,” she promised.

  As Justin left the room, her dad gave Gabe an approving smile. “Nicely done.”

  Gabe shrugged. “I should get going. Thanks for the beer. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

  Alicia followed him out to the porch. “You were good with Justin,” she said. “You didn’t talk down to him. You respected him, and he responded to that.”

  “Most people do. Adults don’t always give kids enough credit for being as smart as they are.”

  “Probably not. You could have sat in the stands, you know—at the game.”

  “I didn’t stay long.”

  She hugged her arms around her waist. “I feel like I should say something, but I don’t know what.”

  “Then don’t say anything, Alicia.”

  “Last night—”

  “Let’s not go there. Let’s just let it be.”

  Their gazes met, he
ld. “I don’t know what to do about you, Gabe.”

  He gave her a small smile. “Maybe you’ll come up with an answer tomorrow.”

  “I doubt that. You are going home to sleep, right? You’re not planning to spend the night on this porch?”

  “I haven’t decided yet. Don’t worry about me.” He surprised her by reaching out and brushing a strand of hair away from her face. The brief, tender touch made her want to throw herself into his arms, but then he was moving down the stairs, pausing on the grass. “Good night, Alicia.”

  “Good night,” she whispered, watching him walk through the trees.

  A few minutes later, she saw the lights come on in Rob’s house and thought how natural it felt now for Gabe to be there. And how empty it would feel when he left.

  “He has to come home sometime,” Jared told Kelly as they sat on the front porch of the inn, waiting for her brother to show up.

  They’d been waiting for hours. After they’d checked all of Ian’s favorite places, she’d invited Jared back to the inn, where she’d cooked dinner and fed the guests and Jared, and then they’d settled out on the porch. “I hope that’s true, but he didn’t come home last night.”

  Jared shifted, rocking the swing back and forth with his foot. “Maybe he was with a girl.”

  “He hasn’t mentioned any girls.”

  “There are some things a guy can’t tell his sister.”

  “I suppose.” As they rocked back and forth in the porch swing, she started to relax. Maybe she was worrying about nothing. But she couldn’t get past the thought that something was wrong, something she should be seeing but wasn’t. “The other day, you said that you thought Brian was acting funny after lunchtime. I can’t completely dismiss the possibility that something happened when Brian went off with John and Marco.” She thought for a moment, something niggling at the back of her mind. Finally, it broke free. “The camera,” she said abruptly. “You said they went to take pictures.”

  He gave her a confused look.

  “I have the camera.”