by Holly Jacobs
Carolyn was in the back of the car, along with Emma who had obviously not settled down yet. He folded the walker, put it in the back before getting in.
“Caro, can I do anything?” he asked as he slid into his seat and buckled his seatbelt.
“Just get us back as quickly as you can.”
“Sure.”
There was no conversing on the return trip. They were outside Port Clinton before Emma finally stopped screaming. Caro murmured something so softly that Stephan couldn’t make it out. But whatever it was, it seemed to calm Emma at least a little.
Feeling useless, he sat in the Kendals’ living room after they got back while Caro took Emma into her bedroom. Fifteen minutes later, she came out looking tired.
“Is she okay?”
“It happens sometimes. I was better able to handle temper tantrums when she was two and I was still bigger than her.”
“But what happened?” Stephan asked. “I thought we were having fun.”
“We were. It’s just that Emma couldn’t find the word she wanted. It’s still hard. And most of the time I can jolly her through it, make a few guesses and help, but sometimes…” She shrugged. “She was tired from our trip from Cleveland, and she’s used to her schedule. She’s out of rehab, but we still have a routine that centers around her therapy sessions. Coming here alone is enough to set her off. But there’s her excitement at turning six, too. It was all just too much.”
He hadn’t realized Carolyn had to go through this. On occasion she would mention Emma had had a bad patch during the day, but she hadn’t elaborated, and he hadn’t thought to ask. Now he had an idea of what she’d dealt with, he wished he’d been there more.
He patted the couch and she sat next to him. He wrapped an arm around her. “It’s been harder than you let me know, hasn’t it?”
She nodded. “Yes. But even the temper tantrums are actually a good sign. Emma’s frustrated, which spurs her on at therapy. She works so hard, Stephan. She’s made so much progress. I’ll deal with whatever tantrums there are if only she keeps trying.”
“You’re an amazing woman, Carolyn Kendal.” He kissed her gently on the cheek, and pulled her in closer.
She snuggled into his chest. “Not amazing. I’m an exhausted woman who’s made it through the last month by holding on to coming here, seeing you. Talking to you was my daily highlight, but I still missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“I know all your arguments about testing what we have, but nothing’s changed for me.” She waited, he could feel her tense in his arms.
“Or for me,” he assured her.
“Then when precisely are you planning on kissing me like you mean it? I mean, that platonic peck was lovely, but I was thinking maybe something more might be in order.”
“What about Emma?” he glanced toward the hallway.
“She’s asleep.”
“Then, if we have a few moments to ourselves, I’d be happy to oblige.” Not seeing Carolyn for the last month and a half was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. He’d had legitimate business, not just for the firm, but a surprise for her that he’d been working on. But holding her now, kissing her, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that his feelings for her hadn’t gone away. No amount of time or distance would alter them.
A while later, when they’d finally broken apart, Caro said, “I’d better go check on her.”
“Caro, I still feel the same. And I’d like to talk about it when we go out for that date.”
“Me, too. And I welcome the talk.”
TWO MORNINGS AFTER THE burger shack meal, Stephan showed up on Carolyn’s doorstep bright and early. It had been a wonderful couple of days. They’d stayed close to home, except for the trip on Stephan’s boat, and Emma hadn’t had any other tantrums. And each evening, the three of them watched the sunset at Spencer’s Rock. Carolyn couldn’t remember ever being happier.
Looking at Stephan on her porch, that feeling of utter contentment swept over her again.
“Good morning.” He looked all crisp and polished in his khaki shorts and red polo. Carolyn felt dowdy in comparison. Emma had slept in, which allowed her to do the same. She was still putzing around the house in her cut-off sweats and an old OSU T-shirt.
As if he could read her thoughts, Stephan kissed her and said, “Sorry, couldn’t resist what with you looking like that.”
“Frumpy and frowsy?” she asked.
“Sleep-tossed and sexy.”
“You’re warped, Foster. Really warped.”
“Only when it comes to you. But I didn’t come here to banter.”
“Oh?”
“I was wondering if I could borrow Emma. I don’t know if she remembers, but when she was in the hospital, I promised her we’d do something. Even if she doesn’t remember, I do, and I thought we could go on a bit of an adventure today, and you could get some much needed rest.”
“I…” Carolyn was hesitant. Letting Emma go with someone else, in a car, without her…She felt sick at the thought. The last time she’d done that…
“Maybe we both could go with you?” she tried.
Stephan frowned. “Carolyn, you have to let go sometime. I swear I’ll take good care of her.”
“What if she has another tantrum?” she tried, thinking that might scare him off.
“I’ll pick her up and we’ll come right home.” He paused. “Don’t you trust me with her?”
“It’s not you,” she told him, but she could see he didn’t believe her. “Stephan, it’s me. I haven’t let Emma in a car without me since the accident.”
“She’s getting better, Caro. You’re going to have to let her go.”
“I don’t have to let go quite yet.” She wasn’t sure if she could. What if something happened? She wasn’t sure she’d survive another accident.
“Listen, Caro, it’s just into Port Clinton and the library. I’ll call when we get there, and call before we leave to come home.”
Part of her—a very big part of her—wanted nothing more than to keep Emma by her side 24/7. But she knew she couldn’t. Emma would eventually go to school, spend nights at friends’ houses, be with Ross. Someday she’d be dating, and even moving away for college.
Carolyn knew she had to start letting go somewhere. With someone.
And who better than Stephan?
“You’ll call?” she asked.
He nodded, his expression serious. “I’ll call. And I swear I’ll be careful.”
“It’s not you, it’s the other drivers. It’s me not being with Emma. I know it’s stupid, but ever since her accident, I’ve thought that if I’d been with her, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. That’s why it was so hard to leave her in the hospital. I felt as long as I was with her, she’d be fine.” She hadn’t been able to voice that feeling, the guilt, until now. There was no instantaneous relief, but she did feel lighter with the admission.
“But you left her with me, and everything was fine.” He pulled her into his arms, hugging her close.
“It was hard,” she admitted, snuggling even closer.
“Leave her with me again, Caro. Just for a couple of hours this morning.”
She nodded, her cheek rubbing against the soft cotton of his polo. He smelled good. She wasn’t sure what scent he wore. It was understated, warm and spicy. It fitted him. Made him smell more Stephan-ish, if that was possible.
“Are you going to fill me in on this adventure?” she asked as she reluctantly tore herself away from him.
“Afterward.” He made a cross over his heart and poked a finger toward his eye, just like they’d done when they were little.
“Let me just go get her then.”
It didn’t take long for Emma to get ready. Emma was more than ready for an adventure with Stephan.
“You’re…not coming?” she asked. It wasn’t a question laced with anxiety at the thought, but rather Emma clarifying that she was being independent.
“No,
I’m not coming. I’ll stay here while you and Uncle Stephan go on your adventure.”
“Okay.” Emma wheeled her walker into the living room. “Uncle.”
“You ready for some fun, Emmy Rose?”
Emma nodded.
“Use your words, Em,” Carolyn reminded her. Because of her aphasia, Emma frequently tried to get by without speaking, but the therapists insisted the more she spoke and was forced to communicate verbally, the quicker her brain would form new connections.
“Yes.” The word was clear and decisive.
“Then let’s go.” Stephan held the front door open for Emma and winked at Carolyn. “We won’t be long.”
Carolyn kissed Emma’s head. “You listen to your uncle Stephan.”
Emma looked back and grinned at her. “Yes.”
“Bye.” Carolyn stood at the window and watched Stephan lift Emma effortlessly into the backseat, and then buckle her in. He put her walker in the trunk before getting in himself. He waved toward the window. Even though he couldn’t see her, he’d known she’d be watching.
Carolyn waved back and watched the SUV pull out of the drive.
Now what?
For the first time in months, she had time totally to herself. She didn’t know what to do with it.
She paced, tried to watch TV, even glanced at a book, but none of it worked. Finally, the phone rang. Carolyn practically pounced on it. “Hello?”
“We’re here.”
Something in her relaxed. “Thanks. I know I sound insane.”
“No, not insane, caring. We’re here and should be home in a few hours. I’ll call before we leave.”
Part of her wanted to wait right there by the phone until they got back, but she forced herself to say, “No. You don’t have to. I’m going to go out on the beach for a while, and probably wouldn’t hear the phone.”
“You’re sure?”
No, she wasn’t sure. She wasn’t sure at all. But she forced herself to answer, “Yes. I’ll spend some quality time looking at the lake. Sometimes I’m so busy, I forget why I love it out here.”
“There were a lot of clouds as Em and I drove into town. A perfect day for—”
“Chasing shadows,” she finished. “I think I’ve had enough of those for a while. I’m enjoying the sunshine.”
“You do that. We’ll see you in a few.”
Carolyn got her book and a towel and headed to the beach. She was going to enjoy herself, even if it killed her.
TWO HOURS LATER, Stephan and Emma were back in the cottage’s driveway. “I know where to find your mom, Em.” Stephan also knew the walker was absolutely worthless on the sand, so he added, “I was wondering if you’re too big for piggyback rides? I mean, you probably are. Which is a shame because this is a perfect sort of day for a piggyback ride across the beach.”
“No, I’m not too…” Emma searched for the word.
He would have liked to fill it in for her, but he didn’t. He waited patiently.
“Big,” she said triumphantly.
“Well, there you go then. Let’s find your mom and fill her in on what we discovered.”
“The history of…Spencer’s Rock,” Emma chortled.
“Yes. You can tell your mom all about it.” With Emma on his back, Stephan took off down the beach.
“Mom,” she called from Stephan’s back, letting go with one hand so she could wave, which made her perch precarious, and Stephan tightened his grip on her. She was heavier than the last time he tried this, heavier and currently squirmier, which wasn’t a good combination.
“Hang on, Emmy Rose. I don’t want to drop you. Imagine the trouble I’d be in with your mom if I did.”
“You won’t…drop me,” she said with a little scoff.
There was such utter confidence in Emma’s voice. An absolute belief that her uncle Stephan would never drop her. Stephan hoped he could always warrant her confidence. He knew he’d do his utmost never to fail her and make her doubt it.
Carolyn was on a big blanket by Spencer’s Rock, book in hand. She was wearing sunglasses, her bare feet stretched out in front of her, partially buried in the sand.
She looked up and he saw the utter pleasure radiating on her face when she caught sight of them. “Emma, Stephan,” she called. She marked her place in her book, and set it aside as they approached.
Stephan gently put Emma down on the blanket.
“Mom. Mom. Mom,” she bubbled over with excitement. “I know about…the rock.”
“The rock?”
“Spencer’s Rock,” Stephan supplied as he sat down next to Emma. “When Emma was in the hospital—”
Carolyn winced as he said the word. He reached out and squeezed her hand three times in a row.
“When we were talking, I told Em stories about you and your love of this big rock. And I wondered—and I knew Emma wondered, as well—where Spencer’s Rock got its name.”
“I never gave it any thought,” Carolyn admitted. “Did you find out why?”
“Tell her,” Emma commanded.
“Well, we went to the library and found a book on Heritage Bay. It seems this whole section of beach belonged to…” He looked at Emma.
“Asa Spencer. Mom, it’s so sad. He…had a car…a…a house up on that cliff.” She pointed to the cliff behind the rock. “He came from New York. There was a story in the paper for the ce…cen…”
“Centennial.”
“Yeah, Uncle Stephan showed me how to…play…no…to use the film thing.”
Stephan looked at Emma as she spoke more clearly than he’d heard her since the accident. “The microfilm,” he filled in. “The library had an extensive collection of documents.”
“And we could look at old papers.”
Emma looked to Stephan and he picked up the story. “And we found a story about Asa Spencer. He came from New York and planned on building a house and making his living in Port Clinton.”
“But a man took him on a boat,” Emma said, “and he saw Spencer’s Rock, only…it wasn’t Spencer’s Rock then, it was just a rock.” Emma took a deep breath. “A-A-Asa he said, ‘This is where I’ll build my home.’ He sent for his dogs, no…his family, but they were late. So he worked on his house every day, and sat on his rock every night waiting for them.”
Stephan was amazed at how clearly Emma had managed the story, all those words spilling one over another, in her excitement. She looked at him, waiting for him to take a turn telling the story.
“He should have given up on them. The whole community had. But Asa didn’t quit believing his family would come,” Stephan said. “The paper said he came out here to the rock every night and waited. Two months late, Mrs. Spencer and his daughter Mary arrived in Port Clinton asking for a ride out to the Spencer farm. Mary had been ill, and they had to wait for her to be able to travel.”
“Asa didn’t have a telephone,” Emma added.
Carolyn smiled. “No, I’m sure he didn’t.”
“They started calling the rock he waited on Spencer’s Rock,” Emma finished.
“And the paper didn’t say, but Emma and I decided Asa and his wife lived very, very happily ever after.”
“Did they now?” Carolyn asked.
“That’s how the best st-stories end, Mom,” Emma, the self-appointed expert on storytelling assured her.
“You’re right, it is. And now we know. I can almost see Asa Spencer, waiting on his rock, hoping the next person he’d see would be his wife and daughter. I’ll think of them all when I come here. What a great job you did.”
“Miss Kate helped us with the microfilm, she’s the teacher…the book…” She glanced at Stephan.
“The librarian,” Stephan supplied.
“Librarian. She smiles pretty…”
Emma went on talking, still so very thrilled about her adventure with Stephan. Hesitating over words, but not letting it stop her need to share every detail of her day with her mother.
She told Carolyn about the book Ste
phan had checked out for her. A Nancy Drew mystery.
“I used to read those myself,” Carolyn told her. “And Trixie Belden. I really loved Trixie Belden. I always wished some big mystery would fall in my lap, but no mystery ever did. The closest I came was the time your uncle Stephan fell on me, but there wasn’t a big mystery there. He fell because he’d been trying to walk the fence like a balance beam.”
Carolyn looked over at Stephan and mouthed the words, thank you.
He nodded and reached over and took her hand and gave it three distinct squeezes.
Carolyn squeezed back.
For the moment, anything and everything seemed possible.
CHAPTER TEN
STEPHAN FELT LIKE A teenager about to go to the prom.
Worse, he felt like a girl as he searched the small selection of clothes he’d brought with him to Heritage Bay, trying to decide what was appropriate for tonight’s date.
Jeans were too casual.
His one suit was too formal.
Khakis and a polo?
Casual, but nice.
It would have to do.
Carolyn’s parents had arrived last night. They’d greeted him cooly, but oh-so-politely. He’d expected nothing more, but still their reception stung. He’d felt close to them for years. They’d always liked him, however, they both made it clear that they hoped Carolyn was getting back with her ex. They even talked about Ross and all the time he’d been spending with Emma.
“Why, he comes over every day to have lunch with her,” Mrs. Spencer said. “He realizes what he almost lost.”
Stephan knew he wasn’t about to win them over to the idea of him and Carolyn as a couple overnight. He’d have to bide his time and let them see for themselves what a strong partnership he and Carolyn had.
Right now, he simply concentrated on what to wear tonight. He wanted it to be a perfect evening.
He dressed hurriedly and joined his family in the living room.
His brother, George, up for the weekend, commented, “You look like you’re wearing our old uniform from St. Matthew’s.”
Stephan looked down and realized George was right. He turned to go change.
“Stephan, you look fine. Ignore your brother. He’s just…well, he’s just George and there’s nothing we can do about it.”