by Holly Jacobs
“Hey, Mom, that was very unmotherly. I’m wounded.”
She patted George’s head. “The truth hurts, dear.”
“Ouch.” He feigned a wounded look, but as soon as his mother turned her back he added, “Stephan’s got a girlfriend,” in a stage whispered.
“Honestly, George,” his mother said, exasperation in her voice. “Anyone overhearing you would think you were ten.”
“And you’d think Stephan was fifteen.” George paused and added, “And a girl, the way he’s worrying about this date.”
His brother had vocalized his own thoughts, and Stephan tried to force himself to calm down, but even with our George’s taunting, he couldn’t quite manage it.
His mom stopped and turned to Stephan. “Is it a date?”
“Yes, it is.” He was sure that his mom was going to jump on the Kendals’ bandwagon and tell him how crazy it was to get involved with Carolyn, given everything that had been happening to her.
As he had the thought, he remembered Carolyn’s words about a new normal, and smiled as he waited for his mother’s reproach.
“Well, it’s about time.” She hugged him. “I always thought…well, that’s neither here nor there. But if it is indeed a date, then I agree with George. That’s too much like a school uniform. Just go change into a different polo shirt.”
He came back out a few minutes later in a red polo instead of the navy one he’d been wearing.
His mom straightened an imaginary wrinkle on his collar. “That’s much better.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Mama’s boy,” George mocked, grinning like a loon.
Stephan, feeling strangely settled all of a sudden, turned to George and asked, “Just how long were you staying?”
“Just a long weekend, bro. I won’t be here to put a crimp in your dating life. But Dad’s coming up tomorrow. Talk about a crimping. Although, now that you work with him every day, maybe you’re used to it.”
“There are some things you never get used to…you just learn to deal with them. You and Dad both fall under that heading.”
George didn’t seem to have the gene that allowed him to be insulted. He simply laughed at Stephan’s words. “So…you and Carolyn. Frank and I always thought you two had a thing going, but we could never prove it, especially that summer before you left for college.”
“There was a summer….” He let the sentence trail off. “But this is so much more than that was.”
“Don’t let anything stand in your way then.” George had a maturity in his voice Stephan had never heard before. His serious expression looked out of place, too, but he continued. “You okay?”
“As okay as I’m going to be.”
“Need to talk?”
“No.” He paused. “But thanks.”
George sighed in relief. “Good, I mean, I would have tried to listen, but I’d prefer to tease. I mean, Stephan and Carolyn sitting in a tree…”
He continued singing the childhood song, laughing, as Stephan left to cross the path between the cottages to the Kendals’ back door. He knocked, expecting to see Carolyn, but it was Mrs. Kendal who greeted him, if you could call the disapproval on her face a greeting. “Stephan.”
“Mrs. Kendal. Did you get all settled in? It looked as if you brought half your Columbus house with you.”
“We’re fine,” was her curt response.
He ignored her cold, monosyllabic reply. “Great. I wanted to thank you for babysitting tonight.”
She sniffed, and for a moment, looked as if she were going to say something. If the wrinkle in her brow was any indication, the something might be akin to a lecture, but it was stopped dead in its tracks when Emma came to the door.
“Uncle Stephan.” She pushed her walker to him with more speed than her mother would approve of.
“Slow down, Emmy Rose.” He scooped the child up. “We’ll have to get you a bicycle helmet and kneepads if you keep going that fast.”
She smiled and said, “Okay. Pink?”
He laughed. And he glanced over Emma’s shoulder and saw Mrs. Kendal looking as if she wanted to laugh, as well. But she schooled her expression.
“Mom’s comin’,” Emma told him.
“Good. You don’t mind it’s just a grownup night?” he checked.
She shook her head.
Mrs. Kendal sighed and left without saying anything else.
Stephan tried not to let her obvious disapproval of his dating Carolyn bother him. He focused on Emma. “Tomorrow we’ll all do something. And next week, your mom and I thought maybe we’d drive to Detroit for the day. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village. We could make a day of it. Would you like that?”
“Yes. McDonalds?”
“Sure. McDonalds would be the perfect place for lunch.” He realized he was still holding Emma and set her back down at her walker just as Carolyn came into the room, and smiled at him and Emma.
She was so beautiful. Not in a loud, fashion-model sort of way. She was too tiny for the fashion world, but she was perfect in Stephan’s eyes. Her hair was long now, fell in soft, brown waves around her shoulders. There was just the barest hint of the highlights that she got every year here on the beach. Not the traditional blond ones, but more of a reddish gold tint.
She was wearing a simple pair of slacks and a white shirt that sort of wrapped around and tied in the front. Nothing flashy in terms of jewelry or makeup.
She was the most beautiful thing Stephan had ever seen.
She murmured his name by way of a greeting. “Stephan.” Just those two syllables, softly spoken. And for a moment, he wished his name were longer so she’d say more. But then she looked at him, and he lost himself in her lake-blue eyes.
The moment passed too soon. She leaned down and kissed Emma. “Uncle Stephan and I are out to dinner, but we won’t be home too late.”
“It’s okay. Grandma can read to me.” There was a triumph in Emma’s smile when the entire sentence came out properly. She was improving. The doctors and therapists said it wasn’t just the resilience of a young brain, but the determination of Carolyn’s daughter.
Emma had become a force to be reckoned with. It was a case of the apple not falling far from the proverbial tree in Stephan’s opinion.
“Thanks, squirt.” Stephan leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You just think about what you want to do tomorrow. And I’ll try to talk your mom into that trip next week.”
“What trip?” Caro asked.
“I just promised Emma I’d talk you into it. Simply telling you wouldn’t qualify. You’ll have to wait a bit, let me butter you up and convince you.”
Carolyn assumed a mock-stern expression, eyeing them both. “You two are trouble together.”
“Your mom always told me I was trouble.” Stephan, falling into the game, heaved a put-upon sigh. “And now she’s including you. Poor Emma. Don’t worry. Your old uncle Stephan understands what it’s like to be so abused.”
The little girl laughed. It was such a normal sound. Thinking of how far she’d come in just six short months, how much like herself she was, Stephan felt a breathless amazement.
“So, are you ready, Caro?” He opened the door and smiled one last time at Emma, giving her a little wave before following Carolyn out onto the porch.
“You didn’t say where we were going. So I went for my best wear-it-anywhere outfit.”
“Was that a hint that you’re dying to know?” he asked, playing obtuse.
“Yes, you know it was. Where are we going, Stephan?”
“It’s a surprise.” They both started across the deck, and Carolyn turned toward the drive, but he grabbed her hand, stopping her. “Come with me.”
He led her across the path to his parents’ cottage, and grabbed an old-fashioned picnic basket off the deck.
“You’ve put some thought into this.” She eyed the basket.
“This is our first official date. I didn’t wa
nt it to be just some restaurant in Port Clinton. I wanted something more memorable.”
“You’re a romantic, Stephan Foster. I don’t think I’d have guessed that.”
“I’m practically a Don Juan, only I don’t want to woo women, just one woman in particular.”
“Which woman would that be?”
He leaned down and kissed her as an answer, then slipped his free hand into hers again and they walked in comfortable silence up the rocky lakeshore. He stopped at Spencer’s Rock. “We have so much history here. I thought this might be the perfect place for a picnic. We can watch the sunset and talk.”
“Stephan, it’s perfect.”
“Nothing’s perfect, but this is as close as I could manage.” He spread a blanket in front of the huge stone, and began to unpack the basket.
Caro eyed the food, and with an expression that warned him she was going to zing him, she asked, “Did you cook the meal?”
“Carolyn, after all these years you still doubt my culinary abilities? I’m hurt.”
“Sandwiches and Hot Pockets. To the best of my knowledge, that’s the extent of your abilities, and doesn’t necessarily convince me you could manage fried chicken and—” she opened a plastic bowl “—coleslaw.”
“You don’t have to worry. I bought the picnic in town. It’s a new business. Pics by Nic. It’s run out of Elmo’s Deli.”
“What a brilliant idea for a vacation resort.”
“I’ll confess, I sampled a piece. It’s good.”
They made small talk as they ate. So much of their visit had been chaperoned by Emma that they hadn’t had much time just to talk. Caro asked him about work, and when he asked, she expanded on Emma’s progress, the rehabilitation center, doctors’ reports, giving him a general overview. Her relief was palpable. Emma wasn’t close to one hundred percent, but she was steadily improving.
“Stephan, I want to thank you again. You didn’t have to be there—”
“No.” The word came out sharper than he’d intended. “You still don’t get it. I did have to be there. I couldn’t have been anywhere else. I love her, too. Always have. I know she’s not my daughter, but she’s as special to me as if she were.” He paused. “There’s the fact that I helped bring her into the world. More importantly, there’s the fact that her mother’s my best friend, and so much more. She’s an amazing woman.”
Stephan knew that Carolyn had never been very good at taking compliments. Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink.
Feeling sympathy for her, he changed the subject. “Looks like it’ll be a gorgeous sunset.”
The sky between the sun and the horizon ranged from brilliant orange to a dusky rose color. The sun seemed to speed up, dipping ever closer to the water.
As it reached the edge and sank below the horizon, Stephan knew the time had come. He’d spoken to clients, to the partners in the firm, in front of juries even, but he’d never known such a spurt of stage fright. Still, he forced himself to say the words, “Caro, I wanted to tell you about something I’ve done. Something I can undo if you’re not pleased.”
She must have heard the seriousness in his tone because she looked concerned. “Stephan?”
“Listen, we took time off, didn’t see each other for a month, and nothing’s changed for me. What we’re feeling…well, I can’t speak for you, but what I’m feeling is real. It has nothing to do with the accident, nothing to do with anything except the fact, I love you.”
“I—”
“Let me finish. I’ve spent weeks sorting this out.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I’m confident that you’re who I was meant to be with and part of me wants nothing more than to propose here and now, but I’ve talked myself out of that. I want you to be as sure as I am, and I’m not sure you can do that while you’re still so worried about Emma. So, we’ll take it slow. I’d like to date and take our time.”
He’d fantasized about proposing, but he knew what Carolyn had been through, all the upheaval. It felt right holding off. They did have time, and he didn’t want Carolyn’s parents, or worse, Carolyn herself, to feel he’d rushed her. “Although, I need you to know I’m serious about us, about where we’re going.”
“We only have a few more days here in Heritage Bay.”
“That’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about, I still want to talk to you about.” He shook his head. “That was a convoluted sentence.”
“Just a bit.” A smile played on the edge of her lips.
“I’ve been studying with a friend for the Ohio Bar Exam. Cramming, actually. They offer the tests every four months or so, and I took it and passed.”
“Stephan, that’s wonderful, but I don’t see—”
“I want to relocate to Cleveland,” he blurted out. “But I don’t want you to feel pressured, so I haven’t accepted any jobs yet, although I’ve got two offers on the table. I wanted to find out how you felt first.” She didn’t say anything and he worried he’d overstepped. “Caro, I don’t have to…”
She brushed at her eyes, yet he couldn’t see any tears. “Stephan, twice now you’ve thrown your whole life into upheaval for me. When you came to the hospital and now. I know I should tell you that I can’t let you throw the life you’ve built in Detroit away like this—”
“Caro, don’t you see, you’re my life?” He chuckled. “I know, it sounds smarmy, but there it is. I could stay in Detroit, continue working my way up in my father’s firm. It would make Dad happy, my playing heir apparent, but I’d be miserable. I thought about asking you to come to me, but Emma’s doing so well with her therapy, and your ex is in Cleveland. From what you’ve said, Ross has been taking a much bigger interest in Emma, and that’s good.”
Stephan knew that Ross would be a part of their lives, that his connection to Emma guaranteed that. But there were times when Carolyn had discussed her ex’s sudden interest in Emma, that Stephan had felt the sharp stab of jealousy. He knew it was absurd, but he couldn’t help it. What he could help was how he reacted to it.
“Emma should be near her father,” he continued. “I weighed all the options, and this seemed the best course of action. But you have to tell me what you think.”
Carolyn answered him by throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him. “What I think is that I’m the luckiest woman ever.”
“So you don’t mind my moving to Cleveland? You don’t think it’s…well, premature?”
“Stephan, we’ve been cautious to be sure that what we thought we had was real. It is. You’re my best friend, and I wouldn’t want to do anything to screw that up. I don’t care if we’re talking a day, a week, a month or a year, I’m sure.”
He let out a long breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I’ve had myself in knots worrying.”
“Stephan, don’t you know how I feel about you?”
CAROLYN COULDN’T BELIEVE HE couldn’t see, couldn’t sense her feelings just by looking at her. She saw them every time she looked in the mirror. Even her mom knew. Her mother’s every sniff of disapproval showed how well she’d read Carolyn’s happiness.
She tried to put it all in words now, but her feelings were so much more than she could articulate. They were so much deeper, so much truer. She wanted to make him see.
“Stephan, I love you. I love that you’re my friend, that you know everything there is to know about me, and like me anyway. I love that I know you. That weird little furrow in your brow when you think too hard. I think I’ve always loved you. I showed you how much on a night much like tonight, here at Spencer’s Rock. Do you remember?”
“I remember every minute of that night,” he assured her, his voice tight.
Feeling bold, she said, “I’d like to show you again.”
“Here?” he asked, glancing up and down the empty beach.
“It’s dark, and no one but our families ever comes out here. And I can’t imagine any of them interrupting us. Not even my mother.”
“But she’d like to,” he said.
She didn’t tell him in words. She simply reached down and untied her blouse. She hadn’t necessarily planned this, but she’d hoped. She knew her body had changed from that summer so long ago. Being pregnant had altered its contours, left two long stretch marks on either side of her navel.
She felt nervous. Would Stephan mind?
But as he reached out and gently ran his hand along her stomach, his expression told her he didn’t.
Carolyn had always felt rather scrawny and underdeveloped, but the way Stephan was looking at her, made her feel like the most beautiful woman ever.
Without words, she reached over and unbuttoned the two buttons at the collar of his polo. He took her hint and pulled it, along with his T-shirt, off, then leaned over and undid the clasps of her bra, releasing it, pulling it off. “I want you.” His voice was raw with need.
“Good. Because I want you, as well.”
Those were the last words they spoke as they embraced. Stephan touched her as if he were memorizing her inch by inch. Softly, reverently.
She returned the caresses, relishing the changes in him. And there were changes. His once-lean young body was more solid. Muscles he hadn’t developed at eighteen were now prominent. His once-bare chest was now sprinkled with fine hair. She ran her fingers along it, liking the texture of it. It created a trail, drawing her exploration farther and farther downward. When she reached his waistband, she unbuttoned his khakis, her hands trembling with need, making the task more difficult than it should have been.
Finally she succeeded, and he returned the favor, unbuttoning her pants, as well. They stood then, laughing like the kids they’d once been, taking off the last layers that separated them.
Wrapped in each other, they sank back onto the blanket. Carolyn couldn’t remember ever wanting anyone so much. Wanting so much to match the physical connection to the emotional one that she felt for him.
When they were young there’d been a sweaty urgency to their lovemaking. Now, there was a slower, less-fevered pace as each learned what pleased the other, found their rhythm. And when it was over, Carolyn was left with a sense of belonging, here, in Stephan’s arms. Her head, pillowed on his chest.