Body Heart Soul (Blind Vows #2)

by J. M. Witt

  “Desiree Greene?” I stood and shook the officer’s hand and he motioned me to sit back down. “What’s going on? I see that you have an active PPO out on Sa…”

  I stopped him short, never wanting to hear his name again. “Yes, please don’t say his name.” Pulling the note from my purse, I handed it to the officer. “I found it on my windshield after work.”

  “Any clue what time it was put there? Did you go out to lunch?”

  “I didn’t see it there before my appointment, but it was there when I left.”

  The officer looked over at O and asked, “And who might you be?”

  “He’s a patient, Odysseus Kerrigan.”

  “And how do I know he didn’t place the note on your windshield?”

  I shook my head persistently, annoyance dripping off my tongue. “It was him. I know how he works. He disappears just long enough for me to think he’s finally gone. O has nothing to do with this.”

  The detective nodded and held open a baggy as I placed the note inside, knowing my fingerprints had probably contaminated it. “We’ll add it to the file and pay him a visit.” He stood and we did the same. “You have someone who can stay with you tonight or somewhere you can go?” He glanced to O as I objected.

  “That’s not necessary.”

  “I can stay with her.”

  I smiled and tried to remain calm. I wasn’t helpless and didn’t need O’s protection. I had a gun, a permit, and I knew how to use it. We walked out of the police station as I announced to him, “You’re NOT staying with me. I can take care of myself.”

  “I’m sure you can, but you have a PPO out on this guy—whoever he is—for a reason. You’re not staying alone. You won’t win this one. Besides, Officer what’s-his-name is expecting it.”

  Glaring at him, I rolled my eyes. “Don’t get any ideas. I have a gun and I’m not afraid to use it.”

  “That’s good to know Des, or should I call you Desiree?”

  “Ugh! Des, call me Des. I hate that name.”

  “I think it’s beautiful. Gets me thinking all kinds of things.” He glanced at me, he was testing me; I knew it.

  Sarcastically, I egged him on, “What kind of things? Hmm? Ideas about desire with Desiree? Like I haven’t heard that before.”

  Grinning he corrected, “No, I was thinking more about you showing me your O face.” I smacked him as he laughed, “Got you to smile.”

  “I did not!”

  “You did! I understand.” He was charming, I’d give him that. “The thought of me naked in bed should put a smile on your face.”

  “You’re ridiculous!” Of course now all I was thinking about was seeing his O face. I unlocked my car and climbed in. “Maybe you can show me your O face later, if you can keep up. I’m hungry. You know where I’ll be.” I prayed I wasn’t setting myself up for disappointment once again. O was a risky bet but I felt like it was a good one that would play in my favor.

  He looked slightly baffled before he understood. I pulled out of the parking lot as he backed out of his spot. I was headed to O’Grady’s and if he had a clue, he’d figure that out. I parked behind the bar a few minutes later and started walking through the parking lot. A horn honked and I jumped in the air in response.

  His truck pulled up next to me as he shouted at me, “You know, frequenting the same joints probably isn’t the smartest thing considering you have a stalker. Just a thought.”

  “Let me guess. You worked Military Intelligence?” He didn’t say anything and I just shook it off and walked into the bar without him.

  The bar was packed so I opted for a booth. The hostess was leading me back and once I sat down, O appeared behind her and glared at me. He took his seat, his prosthetic kicking me as he apologized.

  “It’s ok. Would a table be better?”

  “No. It’s fine. I just need to get situated.”

  I looked over the menu, not entirely sure why because I always ordered the same thing. Setting the menu down, I glanced at him as he looked over his own menu. The waitress came and we placed our orders. Then the awkward silence began. I didn’t know what to say or where to start. Thank God he broke the quiet.

  “So, Des. Tell me about yourself.”

  “Not much to tell.”

  Taking a sip of my water, he stared at me over the rim of my glass. Setting it down, I questioned, “What?”

  “You’re full of shit.”

  “Excuse me? I didn’t stand you up. That was you!”

  “Ouch! So that’s what this is about? This attitude of yours?”

  “I don’t have an attitude.”

  “Yes, you do.” He put his hand up to stop me from interrupting him. “It’s not what you think. By the time I had the nerve to show up, you were already cozied up with someone else.”

  Coyote Ugly. “I…” Was it possible that seeing him in the crowd that night hadn’t been a figment of my imagination?

  “Nope, you don’t need to explain. We’re grown adults. But, I’m not into playing games either.”

  I didn’t even know what to say. Without saying it, he’d made me feel cheap and easy. Maybe he was right. I tried to remember how long I actually waited for him that night and couldn’t recall. It probably wasn’t long. I deserved his ire.

  He took a deep breath and whispered, “I’m sorry. You’re upset. That wasn’t my intention.”

  “Could’ve fooled me.”

  “Damn. Who was he? Who fucked you so hard over a barrel that you’re so cold and shut off?”

  “Excuse me? Who do you think you are?” I got up to leave and his hand came down over mine. I wanted to pull my hand away, but was enjoying the sensations running up my arm as his thumb caressed the top my hand.

  “Des, please. You may not believe me, but I like you, a lot. I can’t get you out of my head. Where’s the girl I met at PT? She was cool, no walls, just a girl getting to know a boy. Then you remembered that I was a patient with a mutual attraction and the walls came flying back up.” I stared at him, sure the confusion was written all over my face. “You’re the first person since it happened not to look at me with pity in your eyes. That means a lot to me.”

  I knew what he was referring to. I’d gotten familiar with his chart. It had happened just over a year ago and he’d been fitted with the prosthetic about six months later. He’d made quicker progress than most and it spoke volumes about his character and determination. In fact, he probably didn’t need to be coming to weekly PT sessions anymore and that piqued my interest.

  “You’ve been released from PT. Why do you still come?”

  Blinking once, his hazel eyes stared into mine as he revealed, “Why do you think?” Fear and trepidation would have been my normal reaction had someone else said that to me. But with O, warmth spread through me in response to his statement.

  The waitress placed our food down and I immediately started eating. He was too young for me. I had eight years on him. All the reasons why it couldn’t work out ran rampant through my head. I had money, but not like you’d think, so he’d be disappointed if he thought I was loaded. I’d completed med school, barely, to then pursue physical therapy instead. So while I really was a doctor, a true MD would consider me a quitter even though I had the student loans to prove it. The only extravagant thing in my life was my car, the one thing I let myself indulge in.

  “You’re overthinking. What is it?”

  “Christ. You telepathic or something?”

  “I’m just good at reading people. Always have been.”

  I set my burger down and finished chewing. “I’m too old for you.”

  He just surveyed my face and then countered, “No you’re not. How old do you think I am?” I looked away and he laughed. “Right. You know exactly how old I am. You’re not too old.”

  “We’re not talking a couple years O. I have almost a decade on you.”

  He didn’t even flinch. “Lucky you. I get you in your prime and you get a young stallion.” Then he winked.
<
br />   I just shook my head, smiling. “You’re ridiculous.”

  “That’s what you like about me.” He studied my eyes for a moment before confessing, “I’m not asking for forever. But I am asking for more than one or two nights and maybe a few dates with a chance of forever.” He munched on a fry and then said, “You can pick your chin up off the floor.” Snapping my mouth shut I returned my eyes to my food. “What are you so afraid of?”

  Looking at him, I took in his face. Strong cheekbones, tousled brown hair that the sun had lightened slightly, a kissable chin, and those sad hazel eyes that currently shone green. He was beautiful, yet rugged with his five o’clock shadow.

  I was afraid. Afraid of the way my heart raced with him near, afraid of the way he looked at me like I was more than a potential lay, and afraid of the way I knew he’d steal my heart—denying that he probably already had. If I let him. I couldn’t let that happen. I wouldn’t let that happen.

  “I’m not afraid.”

  “You’re petrified.”

  ~ DESiree ~

  ~ Chapter 3 ~

  “Ok. You need to stop that.” I went to get up again and he tried to stop me. “I’ll be right back.” Reaching in my purse, I said, “Here. My keys. I’m not leaving.” He glanced at my keys as I placed them on the table between us. He released my hand and I hurried off to the bathroom.

  I looked in the mirror and whispered, “Jesus fuck. Get a grip, Des.” I mentally reiterated his words. He wasn’t looking for forever, just a few dates with a possibility of forever. Why did I suddenly want more? Forever with him didn’t sound bad. What was happening? He was playing me and that didn’t happen often. I was the player. Could it be that he wasn’t playing me, just very assertive and fucking persistent? Tilting my head from side to side, I took a breath and walked back to the table.

  “You alright?”

  Nodding, I smiled, “Yes. You?”

  His brows raised as he nodded in return. “So, how old are you that you think you’re too old?”

  “How old do you think I am?”

  “Nope. I’m not playing that game. You said you had a decade on me, but I wouldn’t put you a day over thirty five.”

  “I’ll be thirty five in June.”

  “I’ll be twenty seven in May. Only 8 years older.”

  “Only. If the roles were reversed…” My attention was momentarily drawn to the song playing overhead. I Don’t Wanna Grow Up by Bebe Rexha started its whimsical beginning as her lyrics filled my ears. Ironic how she was singing about how she didn’t want to grow up and I was afraid of being too grown up.

  O cleared his throat, garnering my attention. “Yes, if the roles were reversed no one would say a thing. Ten years ago, when I was a teenager, it might have been frowned upon, but I’m a grown man.”

  “That’s debatable.”

  Laughing, he threw his head back. “That’s it, isn’t it? He was younger than you.”

  “Who?”

  “You tell me. Whoever hurt you.” There were too many men who’d hurt me, but the first one always hurt the worst. He pursed his lips. “Yup, that’s it. Guess I have my work cut out for me.”

  “His name was Mike. He was only a couple years younger and the worst mistake of my life. I spent years paying for his mistakes and my foolishness. I was in med school and he racked up so much debt, and in my name no less.” Why was I telling him all of this?

  “Sounds like a real winner.” I narrowed my eyes at him as he smirked. “You live and learn. Sounds like he took advantage of you, and if you were in med school you had other priorities to focus on. I’d never do that.” Pausing, he then asked, “Is there more?”

  Shrugging my shoulders I wondered if he meant more men or more shitty things done by Mike. I decided to stick with the Mike story and added, “When I found out about the debt, around the time we got evicted—because he hadn’t been paying the rent—I had entrusted him with that, too. Anyway, he started talking about having kids and getting married. I lost my shit on him. We couldn’t pay rent. How the hell were we supposed to support a kid? It wasn’t long before he was gone, but of course my dad had to pay him off.”

  “What?”

  It was laughable now, but it was true. “Yup. My dad asked him how much it would take for him to walk out of my life.” O just stared at me, dumbfounded. “Would you like to guess what price tag he put on my love?”

  His answer stunned even me. “Love doesn’t have a price tag, Des.” My heart jumped up and down like an obnoxious cheerleader, chanting his name. ‘O, O, O!’

  “Ha, yeah, well it did to Mike. Five hundred bucks.” O’s eyes about bulged out of his head as I took another bite of my burger, which suddenly lost all its flavor.

  “He walked away from you for five hundred dollars?” He stared at me in disbelief. “What a fucking douche nozzle.”

  “Love. Isn’t it grand?”

  “Uh, that’s not love.”

  “Yeah, could you go back and convince me of that. I’d appreciate it.” We both laughed and I pushed my plate to the edge of the table, my appetite gone. I wondered if he’d ever been in love, but also didn’t have the courage to ask him. Not yet.

  His hand reached for mine and the sensations that ran through me at his touch scared the crap out of me, but in a good way. “You’re worth a hell of a lot more, Des.”

  I took a deep breath, letting him twine our fingers together, and barely got out my words. “You sure lay it on thick.”

  “It’d take at least twice that to get me to walk away.” I let out a silent laugh and shook my head at him, knowing he was messing with me. Winking, he softly proclaimed, “In all seriousness, it’s the truth. You’re worth a hell of a lot more. I’m not a bull-shitter. Maybe a little too assertive for some, but that’s about it.”

  I believed him. The check came and he released my hand, snatching up the check before I could. I didn’t try to fight him for it, knowing it was pointless.

  He followed me to my apartment, though I still thought it was unnecessary. Taking the elevator up to my floor, I opened the door and he immediately scoped the place out before letting me in.

  “You should get cameras. There are a lot of potential security risks. An alarm would be wise, too, maybe some more deadbolts.”

  Rolling my eyes, I acquiesced. “Yes, sir.”

  “I’m serious, Des. You’re vulnerable here.”

  “I have a gun. I can take care of myself.”

  He proceeded to check all my windows before he seemed satisfied. I left him sitting on the couch and went to my bedroom to change out of my work clothes. I emerged in yoga pants and a t-shirt, my feet bare.

  “You don’t have to stay.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  I chewed the inside of my lower lip. I was out of my element with a man in my apartment for the purpose of protecting me. I didn’t have men in my apartment. It was another unwritten rule of mine. “Um, can I get you something to drink?”

  “Water’s fine.”

  Before sitting down on the other end of the couch, I handed him a glass of water while sipping on my own. “So what now?”

  I swore the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile and his eyes sparkled. “Don’t worry, Des. I won’t be having my way with you. Not tonight.”

  “Scared?” He started coughing, not expecting my response. Leaning in, I patted his back as he got his breathing back under control. “Sorry. I tend to give as good as I get.”

  “I’m getting that. Don’t stop on my account. It’s refreshing. Reminds me of someone I know.”

  Tilting my head, I inquired, “Who might that be?”

  “No worries. She’s just a friend, my sister-in-law actually, Lucy. You’d like her. She and my brother are constantly bantering with one another. It’s fun to watch.”

  Her name sounded familiar. There couldn’t be that many Lucy’s around, but I didn’t question it. “Sounds like they’re fun.” He just nodded. “What is it?”

&n
bsp; “Nothing. I envy what they have.” He caught my expression and became defensive. “No, no! I’m not lusting after her. She’s like a sister, literally. They both fought their feelings for each other for so long and now, well, now the devil himself couldn’t tear them apart. They were great people apart, but with their forces combined…”

  “Yes?”

  “They just opened a gym up north and it’s doing really well. They’re a great team.”

  “It’s a rare thing. You can love someone, but to be able to work with them all day, too.” I blew out a sharp breath, “I don’t think I could work alongside my spouse. People need their space.”

  “Maybe you haven’t found the right person?”

  “Maybe.”

  I’d watched my mother lose herself in my father. So much so that she had no life of her own, no friends of her own. Her life was his. When I was old enough to recognize that, I swore my life would be different. I wouldn’t be dependent on my spouse to fill my days. Don’t get me wrong. My mom was a great wife and mom, but that was her identity and I promised myself more.

  I covered my mouth as a yawn took over. “You don’t have to stay up on my account.”

  Shaking my head, I refused. “No. It’s not even that late and it’s the weekend.”

  “It’s after ten.”

  “It is?” I looked at the clock and it confirmed what he said. “Shit. I can put a movie in.”

  “Your call.”

  I got up and picked the first movie that caught my attention. It was one I loved, but hadn’t watched in a long time. Sitting back down, I hit play and waited for the menu to load. He’d commandeered the good spot on the couch and I debated about moving closer or just dealing with it.

  “Do you want to switch spots?”

  “No, it’s ok. You’re the guest.”

  “You can come closer.” My eyes searched his and he put his hands up in defense. “I’ll behave. Scout’s honor.”

  “Boy scout, huh?” He nodded. “Then surely I’m safe.” I moved down next to him, my leg barely grazing his, and tried ignoring what his closeness did to my heart rate. His arm moved behind me and I looked at him, “Don’t try anything Mr. Kerrigan.”