Bacca and the Skeleton King

by Jerome ASF

  “mmmmWe should fight them, too?” asked a zombie general.

  “mmmmNo!” said the king. “You should help them in any way you can!”

  The generals were too astounded to speak. Wondering if their leader had gone completely insane, they rushed off through the hallways of Gravehome to muster their troops.

  Meanwhile …

  Bacca, Dug, Drooler, and Tibia hurried across the Overworld in the direction of Gravehome.

  Bacca found that he was naturally much faster than the three undead compatriots who now comprised his party. Luckily for Bacca, his inventory was full of Potions of Swiftness. Whenever the zombies and skeletons drank the potions, they were almost able to keep up with Bacca. Almost being the key word.

  “C’mon you guys,” Bacca urged. “We’re very close. Have another potion. Gravehome is in the next biome.”

  “Sorry,” said Tibia. “I’d been in that fortress for thousands of years. I’m a little out of practice when it comes to running across the Overworld at full speed.”

  Bacca thought he detected a bit of sarcasm. The old jumble of bones still had some spark left in him after all these years. It made Bacca smile.

  “mmmmI don’t understand what we’re going to do when we get to Gravehome,” Dug said.

  “The Spirit of the Taiga is a really tough character,” said Bacca. “We’re going to need everything in our power to defeat him. Maybe armies of skeletons and zombies working together will be enough. And maybe Betty and I can do it. But probably, we’re going to be really glad that we have the Bonesword with us. I don’t know if I believe in prophecies, but it sure looks like now’s the right time for the Bonesword to do its thing.”

  “That sounds good to me,” said Tibia. “And after we’re done with that, I’ve got a bone to pick with my brother. Literally.”

  “By the way,” Bacca said. “When we do combine the two Boneswords—the skeleton one and the zombie one—into a single sword … ?”

  “Yes?” said the skeleton.

  “What happens?” Bacca asked.

  He had no lips, but Bacca could have sworn that the skeleton was smiling.

  “Something very mystical and powerful,” said Tibia. “Something magical. Something that is a little different each time, and depends on the situation.”

  Bacca opened his mouth to say that this answer could have been clearer, but then thought better of it. Gravehome was already looming into view ahead of them. At the same moment, the ground beneath their feet began showing signs of having been recently trampled by a skeleton army that must number in the thousands. From up ahead, they began to hear the sound of zombie and skeleton voices raised in the pitch of battle.

  “We’re almost there!” Bacca shouted.

  A little further, and they began to encounter the edges of the battle. The skeletons had set up a triage tent where zombie medics reassembled skeletons that had been bashed apart or had bones broken by the Spirit of the Taiga.

  Past this tent was the battle itself.

  An army of zombies and skeletons had completely encircled Gravehome. They were no longer pursuing any kind of tactical maneuver—as far as Bacca could tell, at least—because the Spirit of the Taiga was so fast and so enormous that it made any kind of coordinated assault impossible. The zombies and skeletons could not act, only react. The angry spirit leapt all around the fortress, throwing itself angrily at the troops. It attacked with all four paws, and caught soldiers in its jaws and flung them with a flick of its head. The soldiers only had a chance to swing their weapons if the enormous wolf chanced to get close enough. The skeleton archers fired many arrows, but the spirit was fast-moving and hard to hit. The vast majority of them missed.

  Despite these challenges, Bacca was cheered to see that the zombies and skeletons had made some progress. The tip of the spirit’s nose was full of so many skeleton arrows that it looked like a pincushion. Its fiery red eyes burned with an intense hatred, and it looked very angry. Very angry. One look told Bacca that this was no longer a favor for some witches. Now it was personal.

  “Quick,” Bacca said. “Let’s use the sword. Now or never.”

  “It is not that easy,” said Tibia.

  “What?” said Bacca. “Not that easy? Why not?”

  “According to the prophecy, not just anybody can wield the combined Bonesword,” said Tibia. “It has to be the leader of the skeletons and the leader of the zombies … at the same time.”

  “mmmmHow can you swing a sword at the same time?” Drooler interrupted. “What if one person wanted to swing it one direction, and the other person wanted to swing it the other way?”

  “Quiet, you,” Bacca said. “You’re only here because I can’t figure out what to do with you yet.”

  “mmmmSorry,” said Drooler timidly.

  “Have no fear,” Tibia said cryptically. “When the Bonesword is activated, you won’t need to worry about swinging it.”

  “Okaaaaaay,” said Bacca. “So let’s go find the people we need to make that happen.”

  Their group began to sprint across the chaotic battlefield. They were close enough that they were in danger of becoming a part of the action. The zombie and skeleton troops around them were readying themselves for the spirit’s next pass.

  Suddenly, Dug said, “mmmmThere! Look! The Skeleton King!”

  Dug gestured frantically to a spot on the battlefield where a particularly regal-looking skeleton in special armor was readying an arrow in an enormous bow. Bacca hurried over to him just as he let the arrow fly.

  “Drat!” said the Skeleton King. “Another miss. That cursed thing moves so fast!”

  “Your highness!” Bacca said.

  “Ahh, Bacca!” exclaimed the king. “I see you survived the Fortress of Confusion, and so did your zombie friend, and … and … who are these … ?”

  The king’s voice faltered as his eyes fell upon his brother.

  “Yes,” said Bacca. “We’re all here, safe and sound. The important thing is that we found the Bonesword.”

  Bacca quickly explained what they had learned about the Bonesword’s special power, and how it was really two swords in one.

  “Why, this is all quite surprising,” said the Skeleton King.

  “No kidding,” Bacca said. “But let’s talk about all that later. Now, we need to focus on defeating that enormous wolf over there. For the Bonesword to work, you and the Zombie King have to hold the two halves of it at the same time when they’re joined. Do you know where the Zombie King is?”

  “I saw him go back inside Gravehome as our army arrived,” said the king. “I haven’t seen him since. For all I know, he’s still there.”

  “Fine,” Bacca said, turning to Dug and the others. “The three of you stay here with the Skeleton King and get the Bonesword ready. I’m going into Gravehome to find the Zombie King.”

  With that, the furry crafter dashed off through the thick of the battlefield toward the nearest entrance to the fortress. He dodged through the lines of soldiers, sometimes leaping over them in a single bound, until he came to the fortress door, where a sentry barred his way.

  “I don’t have time to explain, but I need to see the king!” Bacca shouted. When the guard opened his mouth to object, Bacca faked left and went right, a classic move that worked perfectly. The guard’s head spun as Bacca raced past him into Gravehome.

  Retracing the path from his previous visit, Bacca made his way to the Zombie King’s throne room. As Bacca hurried inside, he saw immediately why the king was not on the battlefield. The throne room was full of worried-looking zombies, and the king was lying on the floor in front of his throne. He had sustained some kind of serious injury to his head. Bacca was not an expert on zombie injuries—beyond knowing that if he gave zombies enough whacks with a diamond axe they were done for—but Bacca decided that the Zombie King on the floor didn’t look so great.

  Bacca hurried over. The king motioned that his attendants should make way for Bacca. Soon, the hairy crafter
stood right beside the wounded zombie.

  “mmmmYou have returned!” the king exclaimed. Though he was delighted to see Bacca, the king’s voice was very weak.

  “Yes, and I have good news,” Bacca said. “We recovered the Bonesword. Actually, it turns out it’s Boneswords, plural. Funny story, that …”

  Bacca gave the king a rundown of his travels with Dug, and how they had been able to retrieve the Bonesword. Even though time was of the essence, Bacca spared no detail. The king visibly relaxed as Bacca spoke, and some of the anguish left his ancient face.

  “mmmmYou have no idea how much this pleases me,” the king said when Bacca was finished with his tale. “The guards you sent back from Rotpit confessed their part in the crime, but we did not know if we should believe them. Now they—and especially Drooler—can be brought to justice.”

  The king let out a very deep moan. At first, Bacca assumed the ruler was giving orders to the zombies around him. Yet their faces showed no comprehension. Bacca realized it was a moan of pain.

  “mmmmBut that justice,” the king continued, “may happen under a different monarch. The Spirit of the Taiga threw me against a headstone. I am badly wounded.”

  “I think we can defeat the spirit using the Bonesword,” Bacca said. “The prophecy surrounding the sword is real, but we need your help. Are you well enough to come out onto the battlefield? I could carry you if you like.”

  “mmmmYou misunderstand the gravity of my situation,” the king said. “My remaining time might be measured in seconds. But listen! This is important. What you have told me of the accomplishments of your student Dug has changed my mind. At first, I was unsure what to think of a zombie crafter. After hearing your tale, I think that there may be no one better suited to lead the zombies in their hour of need!”

  Several of the zombies in the room moaned in shock at the king’s words.

  The king chuckled to himself, amused at how scandalized they were.

  “mmmmIt is permitted in our tradition for a zombie king or queen to choose their successor,” the king continued. “With my final breath, I decree that your student, Dug the zombie, is the new … Zombie … King.”

  The old king’s eyes closed. His jaw dropped open, and the undead life went out of his body. Some of the zombies in the throne room took off their helmets out of respect.

  As was traditional, some of them chanted: “mmmmThe king is undead, long live the king! The king is undead, long live the king!”

  Then one of them seemed to realize something and said: “mmmmBy the way, where is our new king?”

  Bacca—who was already halfway out the door—shouted, “Follow me and you’ll find out!”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Back outside of Gravehome, the battle raged on. The Spirit of the Taiga was getting angrier and angrier by the moment. There were even more zombie arrows sticking out of its snout.

  Bacca bounded over the rows battling soldiers until he arrived once again back at the side of the Skeleton King.

  “What happened?” cried Tibia, alarmed at seeing Bacca return alone. “Is everything all right? Where is the Zombie King?”

  “You’re looking at him,” Bacca replied with a smile.

  “What?” Tibia said.

  The skeleton looked around, but failed to see anything.

  “Look a little lower,” Bacca said.

  The skeleton still didn’t get it. Apparently, none of them did.

  “mmmmIs he invisible?” Dug tried.

  Bacca shook his head and laughed.

  “No Dug,” Bacca said. “He’s you. You’re the new Zombie King.”

  “mmmmHuh?” Dug said. “I think I misheard you, Bacca. It sounded like you said that I was the new zombie king.”

  “That’s because I did,” Bacca replied. “You are the new zombie king. As the old king died, he named you as his successor. I just saw it happen. So did all the zombies in the king’s court.”

  “mmmmBut … but … ” Dug said, quite bewildered by this turn of events.

  “There’ll be time for it to sink in later,” Bacca reassured him. “Right now, all you need to do is grab hold of your half of the Bonesword.”

  Bacca turned to Tibia.

  “All right, Tibia. Let’s make this happen. What do they do with the swords?”

  “It’s very simple,” the skeleton said. “Dug holds the zombie Bonesword, my brother holds the other one. Then they fit them together and point it at the Spirit of the Taiga.”

  “That’s it?” Bacca said.

  “That’s it,” confirmed Tibia.

  “Then what are we waiting for?” said Bacca enthusiastically.

  They took out the two Boneswords and gave the one with zombies etched on the blade to Dug, and the one with skeleton carvings to the Skeleton King. They were shaped to fit together perfectly, like two pieces of the same puzzle, to form a larger, even more impressive-looking sword.

  “mmmmWait,” Dug said, raising a rotting hand. “The Spirit of the Taiga is way over there, on the other side of the battlefield. I don’t know what exactly is going to happen when we do this … but what if we miss because he’s so far off?”

  “I’ll get him closer,” Bacca said confidently.

  Bacca put two claws in his mouth and blew. A whistling sound echoed so loudly that the soldiers covered their ears (or ear holes, in the case of skeletons). They stopped fighting and looked at Bacca. The Spirit of the Taiga looked too.

  “Get over here!” Bacca cried at the top of his lungs. “You … mutt!”

  The Spirit of the Taiga’s eyes blazed red and locked on Bacca. Bacca smiled and waved. Then he blew the enormous beast a kiss. The spirit went mad with rage and began to charge. It thundered across the battlefield. The ground shook at its approach.

  “Okay,” Bacca called. “I think now would be a good time to combine the swords. Guys? Guys, can you hear me? I said, I think that now would be—”

  “mmmmWe are!” Dug cried from behind him.

  Bacca turned and looked. Much to his alarm, Bacca saw that Dug was telling the truth. They had fit the swords together. Doing so had indeed created a much larger, majestic-looking weapon. But there was no magical effect that Bacca could see. Both Dug and the Skeleton King were holding fast to the weapon’s hilt, and nothing was happening.

  Meanwhile, the Spirit of the Taiga drew closer.

  Despite the situation, Bacca had to grin.

  “I thought this might be the case,” he said. “Tibia? Why don’t you try holding the sword instead?”

  “But … but … ” stammered the Skeleton King.

  “mmmmJust do what he says,” Dug interjected. “The Spirit of the Taiga is almost here!”

  And it was.

  The enormous beast galloped ever-closer. It knocked over hundreds of skeleton and zombie soldiers on its way, yet paid them no mind. They were only incidental now. Its real target—its only target—was whatever that hairy thing was in the suit that had called it a mutt.

  Fueled by rage, the spirit’s vision narrowed into a pinhole, until the only thing it saw was Bacca. The spirit could hear nothing beside its own angry breath in its ears. Soon it was very close to Bacca. Then closer still.

  With the moon high in the sky behind it, the Spirit of the Taiga cast a long shadow. In the moment that the shadow reached the group holding the Bonesword—with the spirit itself barreling very close behind—there was a shuffling in the people standing by the hairy crafter. A rearrangement of some kind. The skeleton who had been holding the sword let go … and a different skeleton grabbed the weapon.

  And the result was instantaneous.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Bacca, Dug, Tibia, Drooler, and the erstwhile king of the skeletons could hardly believe what they were seeing.

  In one moment, the enormous scary wolf had been careening down on top of them, so near they could smell its breath. In the next moment, the enormous beast seemed to have completely disappeared!

  Dug and Tibia were s
o stunned that each dropped his half of the Bonesword. It separated and fell to the earth with two soft clunks. Steam was rising off both halves.

  “mmmmWow!” said Dug. “That rotten wolf just disappeared! How cool!”

  “It was pretty cool,” Bacca said, bending down to investigate the steaming swords. They were hot to the touch.

  “mmmmI guess the prophecy was real after all,” Dug said. “When the king of the zombies and the king of the skeletons work together, they can use the Bonesword to unleash truly incredible magic!”

  “Then that means … that means … ” said the skeleton wearing the armored crown of finger bones. “That means that this is really yours. You are the true Skeleton King.”

  He took off the crown and handed it to his brother. Tibia accepted the crown, and carefully placed it on his own head. Even though he was a skeleton, and making subtle expressions wasn’t a particular skeleton strength, it was easy to see how proud Tibia was.

  The old king looked downcast.

  “I’m so sorry I cheated in the Trial of Fire all those years ago,” he said. “You were always better at standing in the sunlight than me. I knew you were going to win, and that’s why I cheated. I shouldn’t have done it. All this time, I’ve felt rotten about it.”

  “I thought the Bonesword would be able to tell,” Bacca interjected. “It looks like I was right.”

  “I forgive you for cheating,” Tibia said to his brother. “You’re not a bad person, you just got tempted and made a mistake. Promise that you won’t do it again.”

  “I won’t!” said the former king. “I’ve learned my lesson. From now on, I’ll be honest in everything I do.”

  The skeleton troops nearby heard this exchange. They began cheering and chanting: “Long live the king! Long live the king!” Tibia put his hand in the air and waved to them. All of the skeletons broke into bony applause. Bacca was happy for Tibia, and also decided things probably wouldn’t be so bad for the old Skeleton King. After all, skeletons were much more interested in celebrating a new king than criticizing a former one.