A Face without a Reflection

by Linda Lee Bowen

  It was in a single moment that it all came together. The voice somewhere near my heart began to speak through my mouth. I knew right away that the words and the wisdom they carried did not come from me. I also knew they were absolutely true. Grammy knew it, too.

  “We are called to be,” the voice began, “created to be. It’s about being the things that the Word says we should think about every day. Because, if we are pure, if we are lovely, and if we are admirable in the things we do and say…then we will be an example for others to follow. We can be the excellent or praiseworthy thing that others will think about. We can be a light in the darkness that will help people who have lost their way.”

  The swing slowed until it was nearly still as Grammy and I silently pondered the words I’d just spoken. A power that was far greater than anything I’d ever known filled me with a love that surpassed a world driven by feelings and emotions. This was a divine love—a love that didn’t seek approval or acceptance from the world but sought instead salvation and truth for all humankind. It felt completely selfless and inconceivably powerful. And the power moved within me like an electric current that set off a flow of charges throughout my body. It wasn’t uncomfortable…but it was startling. It made me tremble. Grammy pulled me closer to her, and the surge passed through her and back to me. I felt a warm glow being shared between us that was both brilliant and peaceful.

  “When we love as He intended,” Grammy explained, “He sends the Spirit to live with us and in us. The power you are experiencing is the Spirit that is in you. He will help you and guide you through all the days of your life, so you will never be alone. It is a miraculous gift from the One who created you and knows your heart, dear. All praise and glory to His name.”

  A gentle breeze blew through the leaves of the giant oak. I remained content, wrapped up in Grammy’s arms, nurtured by His love. I wanted to stay in that place forever, but the day ahead beckoned us to come.

  “I think I’d better check on the cobbler,” she said, heeding the call of the day. “Why don’t you take a nice walk by the stream to see if anyone is awake?”

  “That’s a lovely idea, Grammy.” I sat up and turned to look deeply in her eyes, as I was certain that I would see her soul in them. “Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing the Word with me, Gram. I feel brand new today, and it’s an amazing feeling…as if…I can do anything.”

  Grammy leaned down and kissed my cheek. “He adores you, darling. You are His precious daughter. And it is a great privilege to see what He’s doing in you. You are going to make great contributions to this world, dear. Many will be blessed by your beautiful heart.”

  She smiled and kissed my cheek. Then she walked toward the kitchen door with the Word pressed to her heart.

  CHAPTER 18

  THE FINDER OF SEEKERS

  “Perhaps the rabbits are having breakfast,” I thought as I headed down the hill toward the hut. “We must be very quiet,” I reminded myself as I got closer. “We don’t want to startle them so early in the morning!” As I tiptoed down the hill, I heard something rustling in the underbrush. I stood perfectly still. But the noise stopped. I took a few more steps and then…there it was again. I stayed frozen in place, trying hard to hear where the sound was coming from.

  “Whoever it is, they’re very close by.” I squatted in front of the dense brush in hopes of catching a glimpse of who was inside. Suddenly a rabbit leapt from the bush and nearly landed on my lap.

  “Whoop!” I yelled and tumbled backward onto the grass. “Who startled whom?” I giggled as I lay gazing up at the clouds that floated slowly in the morning sky. Something in my peripheral vision caught my attention, but I chose not to move for fear of scaring it away. Keeping my eye on the image that had not yet come into full view, I remained quiet and perfectly still until at last I saw him. His long ears stood straight up as he sat on his back haunches, studying me. I dared not move a muscle as he crept slowly toward me with his head low to the ground.

  “Be still,” I heard a voice say, “and he will come to you.”

  My excitement grew as I watched him move cautiously toward me. He was grayish-brown with dark, glassy eyes that were fixed on me. He sat up as he got closer; I never flinched. His nose and whiskers twitched wildly as he sat within an arm’s reach from me, his soft white underbelly exposed.

  “Oh my heavens!” I declared to myself. This was so amazing. Slowly, the rabbit crept beside me. My heart raced as he crouched next to me, sniffing all around. I smiled, although I tried hard not to, fearing he might run away. Instead he stepped onto my belly just above my folded hands and curled up in that space as if it were a comfortable chair. He was only there for a moment when he looked into my eyes, wiggled his long ears, and hopped away. I was spellbound, unable to believe what my eyes had just witnessed. What my body had just felt. I sensed the presence of Micah and looked around for a sign of him.

  “Oh Micah! Did you see that? Did you see how he came to me?”

  I heard his playful laugh as clearly as if he were standing beside me, and I couldn’t wait to share my incredible experience with him. I jumped to my feet and ran up the hill as fast as I could. I was nearly at the house when I heard a strange sound coming from the woods. I stood perfectly still and listened. Sunlight trickled through the branches of the trees that were heavy with darkness just hours ago. The figure that was no more than a shadow in the night began to take form in the light of day. I walked quickly toward it in hopes that I might be able to direct it to the Truth. But the figure was too busy searching to notice me. The futility of its actions filled me with sorrow, as I was helpless in its plight. It knelt down and brushed away pine needles and twigs from the ground but uncovered nothing.

  “You won’t find what you’re looking for there,” I said, loud enough to be heard. But the figure paid no attention and wandered aimlessly into the woods. “Please! Wait!” I called out. “I can help you!” But it was gone. A heavy burden was suddenly placed upon my heart as I walked toward the house, where Mum and Grammy were busy preparing our morning meal.

  “There’s my darling daughter,” Mum said happily.

  But I was too preoccupied with the Seeker to respond, and I walked mindlessly through the kitchen and to my room. I sat on the window seat and gazed at the woods where the Seeker had been. My heart was troubled. I thought about how lonely and sad it must be to wander every day. Mum soon appeared at the door, drying her hands on a dish towel. She sat facing me on the cushioned sill and patiently waited for me to speak.

  “Mum,” I began, without glancing her way, “do you know about the seekers?”

  “Yes, dear. Why do you ask?”

  “Because there’s one living in our woods. I think it searches day and night.” I turned my face to hers. “Micah says they’re searching for the Truth, but they can’t find it where they’re looking.”

  “That’s right,” she said. “Many fall short of finding it because they believed the lie that the key to happiness can be found within themselves, when, in fact, true happiness comes when we let go of self and follow Him.”

  I looked back to the woods. “It must be very frightening to live in darkness all the time.”

  “I’m sure it is. That’s why we must take every opportunity we have to show people where true love can be found. It all begins with the Word. It’s the very best weapon we have against the lies of the Enemy, who tells us we’re not good enough, smart enough, rich enough, or beautiful enough for the One to love us. What is true is that He never leaves us or forsakes us, no matter how far we stray from him.”

  “Do you think the Seeker in our woods strayed from Him?”

  “I believe she thinks He strayed from her.”

  “The Seeker is a woman?” My heart broke into a million pieces, and I was filled with a desire to know everything about her.

  “Yes, dear. She’s been with us for a very long time. Since she was a young girl. She left for a while, and we hoped she had found the Way. But we now know
that she stopped seeking because she stopped believing. Seeing her again gives us great hope, although we fear that her presence is a result of a traumatic event in her life. This is quite common in Seekers, as they often suffer great loss before coming to the Truth. Many have died spiritually because they believe they’ve been overlooked or forgotten by the One. But it is the world, not the One, who has rejected them. The seeker in our woods has been deeply wounded by manipulation, abandonment, and abuse. She questions the existence of a God who would allow such things to happen to one of His children. Her wounds are so deep that she cannot see He’s always been with her, and she could have turned to Him at any time. But she has come to trust only herself, so she is blinded to the Truth.”

  “Will she ever find it?”

  “When she forgives the ones who have caused her great pain, her healing will begin. Then she will receive the Life and discover her true self.”

  “Is there anything we can do to help her?”

  “We can continue to pray. Aside from that, we are doing all that we can by giving her the space she needs in which to search. She knows she’s safe here and that she won’t be judged or reproached. We have great hope. But the rest is up to her.”

  “I wish the world would learn to trust Him.” I gazed longingly into the woods.

  Mum’s eyes grew bright, and her face was aglow as she watched the revelation of His love transform me. “The seed of faith has been planted in your spirit, my darling. Nurture and protect it, and it will yield much fruit.”

  I smiled as I imagined the Word as a watering can that poured out wisdom and truth over me and washed away all my doubts and fears.

  “That’s the way to start each day,” I decided. Then, a revelation came to me, and I jumped down from the window seat.

  “Good heavens,” Mum said, “what’s the matter?”

  “I’m starving!” I declared. With wide eyes and a mischievous grin, I challenged her to a race. “First one to the kitchen gets extra cream for their cobbler.”

  “You’re on!” she cried out as I ran toward the door.

  She quickly overcame the slight edge I had on her, and she nearly passed me when we reached the landing. I squealed with delight when I felt her close behind me, and I held out my arms to block her. Then I jumped over the bottom step and took off like a rabbit. She was less than a few inches behind me when we reached the kitchen, where Grammy was waiting by the door.

  “The winner by a nose!” she announced as she raised my arm in victory.

  “Oh my heavens,” Mum said, catching her breath. “She’s one fierce competitor!”

  “You came so close to beating me!” I laughed and gave her a big hug. “I love you,” I said instinctively. “And I love you more than the whole wide world,” I said to Grammy, who looked at Mum and winked, then she leaned down to kiss my cheek.

  CHAPTER 19

  GONE FISHIN’

  My stomach rumbled as my attention turned to the food being placed on the table. “There’s an extra place setting,” I said. “Is someone joining us for breakfast?”

  The voices in the yard answered my question, and I ran to the back door to see Daddy and Micah standing by the great oak tree. Micah was telling one of his stories, which made Daddy double over in laughter. Belly laughs made my father cry, and he wiped a happy tear from his eye just as I stepped onto the porch, letting the screen door slam behind me.

  “Sorry!” I yelled to no one as I sped toward my father’s open arms.

  “Mira darling! How are you on this lovely morning?”

  “Filled with faith and hope, Daddy.”

  Micah threw his head back and laughed as I ran to greet him. He reached for me and lifted me high above his head. I spread my arms out as if I were flying.

  “You are full of spunk, little miss! Tell us what you’ve been up to that’s filled you to the brim this morning.”

  Daddy and Micah acted surprised as I recalled every detail of the bunny tale with great enthusiasm. But from the corner of my eye, I saw Daddy nod and wink at Micah, and I remembered what Mum had said about witnessing my gifts long before I realized them.

  “Your gifts are bearing fruit, darling,” Daddy said. “It won’t be long before creatures, great and small, come to sit peacefully by your side.”

  “Really?” I looked at Micah for confirmation.

  He put his hand on my shoulder and nodded as we walked toward the kitchen for breakfast. Micah took a big whiff of the bacon that was frying on the stove as Grammy took the peach cobbler from the oven. He walked up behind her and gave her a hug. She giggled and blushed as she handed him a large plate and began placing the cobbler on it. He took a few long whiffs of the pastry and sighed.

  “Petra, you are indeed a treasure. And I am privileged to be on the receiving end of one of your greatest gifts.”

  “Oh Micah! The pleasure is truly mine. You are our most precious blessing this morning and every other.”

  Mum appeared from the basement carrying a tray filled with homemade jellies and jams, which she placed on the table next to a basket of warm bread. Daddy had barely finished blessing our food when Micah began to share stories that were beyond belief, but nonetheless, true. He told us a tale of a man who died and was brought back to life after three days. And of another who lived in the belly of a whale until it spat him out on dry ground. There were stories of many people who had been healed from lifelong illnesses; the blind could see, the deaf could hear, and the lame could walk. I found myself secretly wishing that I could perform miracles in people’s lives, and I held my desires close to my heart.

  Micah and I took over the chore of cleaning up, so Mum and Grammy could spend time planning the garden they’d been talking about.

  “Have a wonderful time, ladies,” Micah said. “The little one and I will take care of everything.”

  “That was indeed a delicious breakfast. And wonderful conversation, too.” Daddy said as he picked up the Word and headed to the porch. “Thank you, one and all, for starting this beautiful day in sheer perfection.”

  Micah and I finished the dishes quickly, while making sure there were scraps left for the wildlife. I wrapped them up in a sheet of waxed paper that I folded carefully on the top and sides then wrote in black ink, “Please do not eat.”

  Micah took the pen and added, “Unless you’re a deer!”

  We both laughed, as we knew Mum and Grammy would laugh too.

  “It is a glorious day. What do you say we take the boat out on the lake?”

  I had no idea why I would be troubled by it, but the mere mention of the lake sent a chill down my spine. I felt the color leave my face, and I was suddenly nauseous. Micah knew right away that something was wrong.

  “Ah!” He gave me a wink. “You’ve never been to the lake before, right?”

  I nodded and shrugged my shoulders. It was true that I’d never been to the lake. In fact, I’d never been near it. The lake was quite a distance from the house on the hill and well beyond the borders of U-R-Here. It wasn’t that it was forbidden…it just wasn’t a place that I cared to go. But at that moment, I wished Daddy would have forbidden me, as it would have given me a very good reason not to go.

  “Well, we’ll have to clear it with your family first,” he said, “but I’m sure it will be okay, especially since the water was very calm on my way here this morning.”

  I gave him a halfhearted smile, which only seemed to encourage him.

  “I’m an excellent captain, by the way. You’re in very good hands!” He smiled and winked, and the queasiness in my stomach suddenly disappeared.

  “The thing is,” he said, “the lake is truly awesome and something you really shouldn’t miss. It’s much bigger than the stream and pond that you’re used to. But that just means it holds a zillion more treasures. There are fish, of course. Lots of fish! Trout. Perch. Shiners. There are also salamanders, frogs, lizards, and at least six types of turtles that are all different sizes and colors. The painted turtle is a w
ork of art! You just have to see it.” Micah’s eyes were as wide as a child’s on Christmas morning, and his enthusiasm made me forget that I was ever worried about going to such an incredible place.

  “And there are amazing plants in and around the water,” he went on. “One of my favorites are the giant waterlilies because they’re exquisitely formed and float together in a cluster, like a giant floral bed. But there are other floating water plants too, like the hyacinth, poppy, and water lettuce.”

  “Okay, okay, okay!” I laughed and halted him with an outstretched hand. “I’m convinced!”

  “Great!” He slapped his knees with both hands. “Now we just need your family’s approval, and we’ll be on our way.”

  “I can’t wait!” I ran upstairs to change.

  “Bring a hat,” Micah called out. “It’s likely to be sunny on the lake. But it might be cool. Bring a windbreaker just in case.”

  “Okay!” I yelled down the stairs.

  “Long pants and sneakers too. We might want to go for a hike on the other side. And wear a T-shirt under a long-sleeved shirt. Layering is the way to go.”

  He smiled when I returned to the kitchen wearing everything he suggested and looking very overdressed.

  “Lose the hat,” he said jokingly as he shut the lid of a child-sized picnic basket.

  “Wow! I sure hope both of us don’t get hungry today.” I laughed. The basket looked as though it wouldn’t hold more than half a sandwich at most.

  “No worries,” he said. “There’ll be more than enough and some leftover.”

  I was doubtful, but since I was still very full from breakfast, I wasn’t too concerned about food.

  Daddy dozed on the porch with the open book in his lap, which nearly fell to the floor when we walked through the door. Micah lunged to grab it before Daddy knew what had happened. Placing it back on his lap, Micah asked if he’d like to join us on the lake.

  “No, no,” he said quickly. “You two go off and have fun. I’m quite content to sit on the porch and read.” He folded his arms and rested his head on the back of the chair. “Anyway,” he added, “I’m starting to think there might be a nap in my future.”