Spring Semester

by Tyler, Q. B.

  Leighton is sitting on the counter, eating pretzels directly out of a bag as she nurses what is quite possibly the largest glass of pure vodka, I’ve ever seen her ingest.

  “Paternity…paternity tests. You can’t be that dense that you’re just taking her word for it. You guys have been apart for a month. And it’s only that one time in question, right?” Skyler says as she looks back and forth between me and Leighton. I nod emphatically. “Let’s just all relax.” Skyler’s eyes widen as she takes one of the shots Leighton poured. “She said that…like for real? A baby?”

  I wasn’t thrilled that Skyler and Peyton both learned the news before I had a real chance to talk to Leighton, but they were home and Leighton broke down within about a minute of her first shot which she took about two seconds after we walked through the door. I couldn’t even blame her.

  “Pregnant.” Leighton points at me. “Baby daddy.” She hiccups as she turns to me. “I really thought you didn’t fuck her. I thought…I thought we’d both only ever be with each other forever.” She looks down in her lap. “I guess that was just wishful thinking.”

  “It’s not!” I urge as I move across the kitchen so that I’m standing in front of her. I lift her chin slightly to meet my gaze. “You’re the only person I’ve ever…” I turn around and look at Skyler and Peyton. “Do you guys mind?”

  “So, you can brainwash our friend? Uh uh.” Peyton stamps her foot and I divert to Skyler hoping that she’ll opt to give us some privacy and force Peyton out of the room, but she just stares at me with a solemn expression.

  “I… I’ve always been on your side, Everett, but…Leigh?” She looks at Leighton and then at me before tucking a hair behind her ear.

  “I’m not the only person you’ve ever…” Leighton whispers. “And now she’s pregnant.”

  “Please don’t run…please don’t leave me.”

  “Oh, so this is all about you?” She narrows her gaze at me before snapping her eyes to her friends. “Out.”

  I almost want to turn around and beg her friends to stay, but now all of a sudden, they seem in a hurry to leave.

  “Never mind this is the second time in a month you’ve shattered my heart into a million pieces. You’re asking I don’t leave you until when? You and Alli go play house in some sorority sponsored off campus housing? Pass.” She snorts sarcastically but I can see the pain in her eyes

  “That’s not going to happen, Leigh. At most, we’d learn to, I don’t know, co-parent. But I’m never going to be with her. I want to be with you.”

  She nods her head. “Lucky me.” She takes a large gulp of her drink and I wince. I want to take the drink from her, knowing nothing good would come from it, but I’m fairly certain that would be risking my life.

  “Leighton…look at me,” I command, and despite her devastation, her irritation, her anger, her eyes flit to mine. “I made a mistake. But you took me back knowing there was a chance I slept with her, and now it seems I did. And it’s fucked up. You don’t deserve this shit. But I love you. I love you more than I hate myself right now, and I know it’s selfish, but I’m asking…begging that you just stick with me through this. I know this means Alli has to be in our lives, but I don’t want her…there’s no me and her. Only me and you.”

  Despite the fact that we were preparing to go out later, by five thirty Leighton is drunk, and I can see her shutting down in front of me. I’d foregone drinking for obvious reasons, so when she begins to stumble upstairs, I follow closely behind her to steady her if needed. I watch as she pulls her shoes off and lies on her bed. She stares at the ceiling for a few moments then squeezes her eyes shut and presses her face into the pillow. I watch as her shoulders begin to shake under the force of this shitty day.

  “Baby…” I’m kneeling next to her bed in a second, rubbing her back and stroking her hair. “I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry.”

  When she turns to me her eyes are red and the space underneath them are already starting to swell slightly. “How…how could this happen? It’s not fair.”

  “You’re right, it’s not fair. It’s so fucking fucked up.” I’ve been so focused on Leighton and how she’s handling this that I don’t think it hit me that I could potentially be a father in nine months. I let out a breath. “I’m not ready to be a father.”

  Her lip trembles and I want to rub my lips across hers to try and take the pain away. “You’re going to forget all about me.”

  “What?” I narrow my eyes at her. Is she crazy? She’s the center of my world. I’d never forget her.

  “You’re going to have a baby and…I won’t be important anymore.”

  “You’ll always be important, Leigh. The most important.”

  “Not more important than your baby.” She sighs. “Why couldn’t it have been me?” she whimpers. “I would love your baby so much, Everett.” Her eyes are glazed over and I’m not sure if it’s all from the tears or from the alcohol hitting her hard and fast. She closes her eyes.

  “I’d give anything for it to be you,” I whisper as I take her hand in mine. I get up from next to her bed and crawl behind her, pulling her against my chest. I rub my knuckles down her face gently and she sighs as she succumbs to a liquor induced slumber. “Please don’t give up on us, Leigh.”

  She turns around and snuggles face first into my chest, and I relish in her vulnerability.

  She wants me to comfort her. She wants me to make this better. She doesn’t hate me.

  Yet.

  Before I’m even fully awake, my heart sinks in my chest. It sinks so far that I’m desperate to return to my prior comatose state so I don’t have to deal with the shitstorm of my life.

  Everett got Alli pregnant.

  Everett is going to be a dad.

  Everett is having a baby with someone else.

  Nothing about this is fair and I have enough self-awareness to know that I’m going to have a difficult time coping with it. I’m not sure if I’m necessarily upset about the potential one-time incident where my man fucked another woman…although, that did really fucking piss me off.

  But it’s more than that. She’s going to have him in a way I can’t. A way I may never have him. And she’s going to have him forever…or at the very least the next eighteen years. A very familiar lyric by Kanye West floats through my head and I remember Skyler’s comment.

  Could Alli be full of shit? Sure, she’s petty and hates me, but would she really go this far? Faking a pregnancy? Or maybe she is, but it’s not Everett’s baby? Is this all a ploy so she can have him?

  “I can hear you thinking.” I’m brought into strong arms and for a second I let them lull me into this false sense of security. For a second, I pretend that the beginnings of a tornado aren’t swirling around us, threatening to tear up the solid foundation we’ve spent eleven years building. I turn in his arms and stare up into sleepy blue eyes.

  “Can you blame me?” I whisper. His chest is bare and I press my face into the warm space just over his heart. There’s a light smattering of hair but for the most part, he’s pretty bare. He pulls me harder against him and I bump against his cock that’s probably been up for longer than both of us have.

  He pulls away slightly so that I’m not rubbing directly against it, and I can’t decide if I’m relieved or annoyed. Physically, I’m ready to pounce. Mentally, I can’t handle that level of intimacy while I’m combating an emotional hangover that rivals any physical one I’ve ever experienced. “What are you thinking about?” he asks.

  “What happens now?”

  “I don’t know…” He pulls away from me to stare at my ceiling, and immediately I feel the absence of his touch. I know this situation is bigger than just my feelings, and I fear Everett will use that as a reason not to confide in me. He wouldn’t risk upsetting me by disclosing his fears and I hate that.

  I sit up and stare down at him. “Yes, you do,” I murmur. “Talk to me. Don’t shut me out, Everett. Not now.”

  He turns his head to look at
me and reaches up to run a hand down my face. “This isn’t your problem, and I hate that it’s going to end up hurting you.”

  I furrow my brows and shake my head. “It’s not a problem, Everett. It’s a baby. And as much as I want to hate it…he, she, whatever…I can’t. Because it’s your baby. Even if it’s not mine too. Don’t hide things from me. I’m here. I want to be…I just…” I let out a breath. “It’s just going to take some getting used to.”

  He nods and reaches up to pull me down by the back of my neck. “Thank you,” he whispers. “I was worried I was going to have to do this without you.”

  Well, you are…my mind thinks involuntarily, and I slam my eyes shut at the thought. It’s going to take some time to train my brain to not immediately revert to sarcasm or bitchy or anger with Everett—and even Alli. “I guess I should call my parents.” He says.

  “Eve and Mike are going to flip,” I say. “No seriously, they’re probably going to fly out here.” I look up at the ceiling and a smile finds my face. “Actually, that wouldn’t be the worst thing. I’ve been in the mood for a steak.” Everett glares at me and I giggle. Despite their nasty divorce, they still show up for Everett. They had put on their polite faces and dealt with graduations and college move-in day three times and family weekends and championship lacrosse games. They donned their CGU parent gear and played nice for the weekend and it always ended up with a fancy dinner that I was always invited to. Sometimes Everett’s stepdad would come, but Everett isn’t too fond of him, so Eve kept his appearances to a minimum.

  “My dad is going to kick my ass. He always warned me about wrapping it up.” He groans. “Of course, he laid off when he figured out I was only banging you.”

  “As he should. He knows I’d give him some pretty as fuck grandchildren,” I joke, and I realize that instead of sarcasm or anger, perhaps humor would be my go-to defense mechanism in all of this.

  “Will give him some pretty as fuck grandchildren,” Everett corrects.

  I roll my eyes. “How about you focus on the one you’ve knocked up for now, okay?” Ah, there’s the sarcasm. Right on cue. I’m off the bed and pulling on a pair of leggings and I can feel Everett’s gaze following me around the room.

  “Do you want me to go?” he asks, and I sigh, shaking my head.

  “No…no I don’t. If you leave, I’ll just think you’re with her and I’m just…I hate that you’re going to have to spend time with her.”

  “Baby…” I can feel him preparing to placate me, and I don’t want to hear it.

  “No. I know it’s stupid and silly, but I’m jealous, okay? I’m jealous and I hate that she wins.” I run a brush through my hair and twist it into a bun at the top of my head.

  “I don’t think she wins, babe. Her whole life is about to be turned upside down.”

  “Are you defending her? She probably got pregnant on purpose,” I snap as I pull Everett’s t-shirt off and replace it with one of my own.

  “Leigh…I doubt that.” He snorts as he gets up, and I hate that he’s dismissing my idea so quickly. He pulls on a pair of sweats and stands in front of me, putting his hands on my shoulders. “I get feeling jealous. And I can’t blame you for feeling that way over the fact that there will be a baby, but I won’t have you feeling jealous of Alli. If you’re thinking she “won” me, then stop it. She didn’t. I’m yours, Leigh.” He says as his eyes bore into mine.

  I sigh and nod slowly, trying to shake my insecurities from my brain with every nod of my head. We shuffle into the bathroom to brush our teeth and do other morning activities that have married couple written all over them before heading downstairs. When we get to the bottom, I see Peyton nursing a glass of orange juice that I’m sure is spiked with something as she scrolls through her phone. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” Peyton looks me over and I can tell she’s trying to read the situation as her eyes move back and forth between me and Everett.

  “Where’s Sky?”

  “Upstairs sucking Aidan’s dick, I’m assuming.” She says as she turns back to her phone.

  “A simple she’s not up yet would have sufficed.” I roll my eyes as I open the refrigerator, and sure enough, see a freshly popped bottle of champagne. She chuckles to herself and when I turn around, she downs the rest of her champagne. “Where’s the fire?”

  “I’m going to a day party at Alpha Pi.” She’s already dressed for the day, sporting her leather jacket and her favorite crop top with a pair of her lucky jeans. And I don’t mean the brand.

  “Alone?”

  “No, ho. You’re coming with.” She pulls out her compact and checks her bright red lipstick in the mirror before puckering her lips.

  “Me?” I ask just as Everett, whose ears perked up from across the room says, “Who?”

  Peyton raises her middle finger and holds it behind her head towards Everett. “You’re coming, Skyler has plans with Aidan, and can’t be on Leighton duty today. She said we should go get like mani pedis or see a movie or some shit, but that’s not how I keep my girl from dwelling on bullshit.” She turns around and glares at Everett to drive home the part about what exactly she’s referring to as ‘bullshit.’ “We’re getting drunk.”

  “Pey…I appreciate the sentiment, although I don’t really need a babysitter…” I glare at her.

  “Clearly that was a joke, but you just found out the love of your life might have knocked up some other girl, you’re allowed to be upset, you’re allowed to need your friends, and you’re allowed to get drunk with said friends and let hot fraternity guys get you liquored up.” She glares at Everett again. “I know you’ve known him for like a hundred years, but people change, babe. Not everyone stays friends with their childhood friends forever.”

  “Enough!” Everett barks as he moves into the kitchen. I feel his anger under my skin and I know I need to calm him down before he explodes.

  “Babe…” I don’t know how I missed it, but the look in Peyton’s eyes shows me that she’s more than a few mimosas in, and she’s ready to go for Everett’s jugular.

  “Peyton, don’t start that shit.” Everett’s eyes are darker than their usual bright blue and I can see the tinge in his cheeks from when he’s worked up.

  “What shit?” She stands up and slaps her hand against the counter. “You got some other girl pregnant! When you profess to be so in love with my best friend!”

  “She was my goddamn best friend first, Peyton. Don’t talk some shit like I don’t care about her or you know her better than I do.”

  “Okay, don’t talk about me like I’m not in the room.” I interrupt and stare at them both.

  “Leigh, you don’t need this. I know you’re too close and too involved in the situation, but you’re not seeing this for what it is. You’re going to what? Help him raise a child with another woman he cheated on you with?”

  “Peyton… stop it,” I tell her. Not only did I not want to hear it, I certainly didn’t want to hear it right now in front of Everett.

  “It’s bullshit.” She points at me.

  “Peyton, this isn’t your business,” Everett snarls. “And you’re so desperate to not be a fifth wheel, you’re using this to recruit a new wingwoman. Don’t project your misery onto anyone else,” he continues.

  “Everett!” I shriek.

  Peyton’s eyes widen and she takes a step back. “You think…you think I’m miserable? If you do, you haven’t been paying attention. What reason would I have to want to jump into a relationship? What I’ve seen here?” She points back and forth between me and Everett. “No, I’d rather my man not sleep with other women and get them pregnant. Nice try though. Please explain to me how you passed Psych. No, you’re lashing out at me because I’m going to keep it real with Leighton and that scares the fuck out of you because I might just be able to cut through the bullshit dickmatization you have over her.”

  I can see Everett gearing up for his comeback so I put my hand up. “Both of you, enough,” I snap and look at Everett. “Can
you give us a second?” He narrows his gaze at her before he heads back up the stairs without another look at me. I glare at her before I point towards our front door. I follow her outside and close it slowly behind us. It’s barely ten AM, which means it’s still chilly, but it’s April so it’s already rounding fifty degrees.

  “Listen, Leigh, I’m sorry I snapped like that.” She looks contrite, and I know she does feel bad which calms me down slightly.

  I’m not sure what I want to say to her. I want to yell at her and hug her and call her the worst friend and the best friend. I want to question her for judging me and thank her for vocalizing it. I’m so conflicted and I hate that the feelings of the man currently seething in my bedroom cause so much of that conflict.

  “Say something,” she says as she leans against the steel railing attached to our stairs.

  “You think I’m dickmatized?”

  Her eyes widen as if she’s shocked. “You think you aren’t?”

  “I think Everett made a mistake, but…I do think he loves me. I know that without his dick inside of me Pey.”

  A door opens and Skyler steps out pulling her robe over her. “I’m getting really tired of being interrupted during sex.”

  “Sorry, Everett and Peyton entered World War Three.” I wince.

  “No, that’s not what I heard. Everett knocking on my door and summoning me down here to make sure you had someone besides the man eater’s opinion is what interrupted us. To be fair, I don’t think he knew we were having sex, but still.” She puts her cup of coffee to her lips and blows on the steam. “So, what’s going on?”

  “Everett had a fit because I want to take Leigh to a day party,” Peyton says.

  “It was more than that and you know it.” I interject. “You made it sound like you were ready to present me to a group of horny frat brothers as a single woman.” I give her a pointed glare, and Peyton shrugs.

  “Look, I’m just saying you’re twenty and maybe this…is a sign. God works in mysterious ways and all that.”