This Courage of Mine

by Amanda Bennett

  Chapter 15

  Cami

  On the way home from the airport I made the decision to be a survivor, not a victim. Although what happened was still fresh in my mind, I refused to let it control my life even for a portion of a second. I wasn’t willing to let Glenn leave for six weeks and think that I was on the brink of suicide or something awful like that. I needed him to know that I didn’t blame him and I sure as hell didn’t blame myself.

  I thought I wouldn’t want to be physical with Glenn after what happened, but surprisingly enough, my body didn’t get that memo. Deep inside though, I was thankful. I enjoyed sex with my husband far too much to let something that could have happened affect it. From what I could tell, Glenn agreed with my decision. Even though I was enjoying myself tremendously, I could tell that Glenn was holding back. I didn’t know if it was because he was trying to be mindful of how I was feeling, but it needed to be rectified…like now.

  “Touch me, Glenn.” I moaned as I rocked back and forth. That was all it took. With those three little words, Glenn’s hands went straight for my breasts, tugging and pulling, making my nipples harder than they already were.

  I pulled him into a sitting position beneath me, causing me to have my first of hopefully many orgasms. My body started to shake uncontrollably and with every touch of his hands, I shivered beneath him. My moaning started to get loud, making Glenn’s hand slide up my neck and over my mouth. He cupped my mouth softly and whispered in my ear.

  “You know what happens to bad girls don’t you, Mrs. Green? I nodded and moaned into his hand as he started to thrust into me. “I think maybe I should show you, just in case you forget.”

  Glenn wrapped his arms tightly around my midsection, and then proceeded to push me down on my back. To my surprise, he never broke contact and he picked up right where I had left off. He ran his fingers softly up my stomach, around my breasts and then up both arms as he pushed them above my head. He secured them by wrapping his fingers tightly around my wrists. I was beyond turned on and needed him to move in and out of me, so I bucked my pelvis up and into him, but he had other plans.

  Glenn continued to tease and tickle every inch of my body with his fingers, but never moving an inch in or out of me. I was about to go insane if he didn’t do something quick. My body was yearning for him to satisfy it the only way he knew how. Just when I thought the torture would never end, Glenn pulled back and slammed inside of me. I practically screamed bloody murder, but Glenn made sure to cover my mouth before I could do so. He pulled back deliberately slow with a wicked grin on his smug face as he slammed into me again. There was no way I could hold back any longer.

  “I’m gonna cum. Oh god, I’m cumming.” I half-shouted.

  Just as another orgasm rolled through my body, Glenn pushed into me one last time, then joining me in pure ecstasy. Glenn collapsed onto my heaving chest as we both tried to catch our breath. I didn’t know about him, but this was exactly what I needed, to deal with the rest of the day.

  “You okay, baby?” He was running his fingers through my hair and it was practically lulling me to sleep. Between the pain medication they prescribed me and the soothing motion of what he was doing, it was becoming a deadly combination.

  “I’m great. Glenn?” I propped myself up on my elbows, forcing him to sit up and look at me. “I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been acting lately. I’m not even talking about today either. For the last little while, I’ve been a real bitch and I know I have. I don’t know why, but I wanted you to know how sorry I am. I need you to know that I love you more than life itself and I’m not going anywhere.”

  Glenn sat there staring at me for a few minutes before he finally responded. “All I want to do, is provide you with the life that you deserve. I want you to be happy, but now, most of all I just want you to feel safe. I want you to know that I will protect you at any cost. What happened today ripped me apart. You don’t understand what it feels like to think you can’t protect your own wife. I’m just thankful that nothing worse happened.”

  I leaned forward and pressed my lips firmly against his, taking in the moment. “I know, and I’m sorry that you feel that way. We’ll get through this. I know we will. I suppose we should probably go entertain my mom now, huh?” We both laughed in unison as we stood to get dressed.

  When we came out of the bedroom, my mother was looking through what looked like a catalog of sorts, but I couldn’t see it well enough. “Mom what are you doing?”

  “Oh just reading through this course catalog. I got bored waiting for you two to “talk”.” She winked and we all laughed.

  “Where did you get it from?” I implored.

  “It was on-“

  Glenn quickly cut my mom off and I gave him a pointed look. “I actually picked it up today. It was supposed to be part of your surprise. You said you wanted to start, so I got you the means to start.”

  I turned towards Glenn, love and adoration for him physically present. “You are an amazing man. You know that Glenn Green?”

  “Of course I know it.” He laughed as he picked me up and spun me around in circles.

  “Cam, I didn’t know you wanted to go to school. I guess I just assumed that you would be going on the road with the band.”

  I gave my mom a perplexed look. “Why would you think that?”

  “Well I don’t know. I don’t know how these things work. I didn’t know if that was a possibility for you or not.”

  “They don’t really like the wives and girlfriends coming along, only because it’s a long leg. That, and I’m sure they don’t want to deal with the drama.”

  “Oh, I see. Well all right then. Well Cami that’s amazing that you’re going to go back. Any idea what you want to major in?”

  “Business management. Look, Mom can we talk about this later?” I growled.

  “Why?” Glenn and my mom asked in unison.

  “Because I really don’t feel like talking about it right now. That’s all. Let’s figure out dinner. What’s everyone in the mood for?” I made my way into the kitchen, praying that Glenn wouldn’t follow me and start badgering me about what I just said. It’s not that I didn’t want to tell them. It was that my mom had to always be the first to know everything and this time, I wanted Glenn to be the first to know.

  Chapter 16

  Glenn

  I was about to follow her into the kitchen when her mom stopped me. She didn’t have to say much to convince me to sit down and let Cami be for the moment. Cami could be so cryptic sometimes and it drove me insane. She seriously made a bad habit of almost sayin’ somethin’, and then walkin’ away. Man she was an infuriating woman.

  “Hey, baby?”

  “Yes, love.”

  “Can I talk to you for a minute, in the room?”

  Cami came walkin’ out of the kitchen a minute later. “Sure.”

  I stood and followed Cami into our room and quietly closed the door. “You wanna tell me what that was all about?” I sat on the edge of the bed waitin’ for my wife to explain herself.

  “So…I talked to Kayla about my plan to go back to school, and, well she had a pretty good idea. She said while I’m in school, I can work for her and then when I graduate, I could possibly buy the store from her or be her partner.”

  My brows pulled together in confusion. “Why do you act like you were afraid to tell me?”

  “Let’s just say that you were less than excited when I told you I wanted to go back to school in the first place. Imagine how you would’ve reacted had I told you this earlier.” She sat there giving me the look she always gave me when she made a point.

  “Fine.” I conceded.

  “Okay, well now that we have that all sorted out, let’s figure out dinner. I’m starved.”

  I grabbed Cami’s wrist before she could open the door and pulled her into my chest. “Are you gonna be okay, Cami?”

  “Of course, don’t be silly.” She joked as she playfully slapped my chest.

  “Cam
, I’m serious. I don’t feel comfortable leavin’ you after what happened today, and I need to know that you are gonna be fine without me here.” Every bone in my body was preparing for her to lie to me, but to my surprise, she didn’t.

  “If I stop for too long, that’s all I can think about. I don’t want to be a victim, Glenn. Am I scared to death to be alone? Of course I am, but there’s nothing either of us can do to change that.”

  “But baby, this just happened a few hours ago and you’re walkin’ around her like nothin’ happened at all. I’m worried that you’re not dealin’ with it.”

  She pushed back from my chest and looked me right in the eyes. “Glenn, I will deal with this. I promise, but I can’t let that guy win. If I give into the fear of what happened or what could have happened, then I would never leave the house again. I refuse to live like that.” I was about to say somethin’, but she cut me off. “What time is it anyway, my head is killing me.”

  I pulled my phone from my front pocket and checked the time. “It’s 7:30. Do you just wanna stay in tonight and eat, or you wanna go out?” I knew I needed to get the situation about where she was gonna stay while I was gone resolved, but I didn’t want to bring it up yet. She seemed pretty adamant that she was gonna cope on her own.

  “Let’s go out. Show my mom what this small town is all about, yeah?” A wide smile formed across her face and I couldn’t help but smile in return.

  “Let’s do it!” I grabbed Cami’s hand and tugged her into the living room where her mom sat reading through the college course catalog again. “Come on Ms. Holt, we’re goin’ out.”

  “Oh that sounds fun. Where are we going?” Cami helped her mother gather up her stuff and deposit it into the extra bedroom before we headed out.

  I ushered the girls out of the house, and then turned and made sure the door was securely locked. Then I check one last time just to be sure. After what happened, I wasn’t takin’ any chances. “So how does Cracker Barrel sound?”

  “You know, they have a ton of those in Arizona but I can’t say I’ve ever been. I’ve always wanted to try it though.”

  I watched as Cami linked her arm through her mother’s, and rested her head on her mom’s shoulder. I was happy for her. She deserved to have a decent relationship with her mom. I had only heard stories of how her mom could be, but as far as I knew, her mom was the devil in carnet most days. From what Kayla had told me, it only got really bad after Cami’s father left a while back. All I knew, was if her mom wasn’t willin’ to be nice to my wife, then I was gonna have to step in and say somethin’. It’s not like her father leavin' didn't hurt her as well.

  “You comin’ handsome?” Cami shouted over her shoulder.

  “Right behind y’all.”

  When we got to the restaurant I instantly regretting comin’ here. The place was packed, but to top it off there was no way I could do the surprise I was thinkin’ about at a place like this, but then an idea hit me.

  “Hey, I’ll be back in like ten minutes. You and your mom go ahead and get us a table. I promise I’ll be back before you even know I’m gone.” I winked and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead.

  Luckily Cracker Barrel was right by a flower and cake shop. I ran the half a block to get there as opposed to takin’ the car. When I walked in, I immediately spotted exactly what I wanted. I glanced around the shop, but couldn’t find a single soul. I made my way over to the counter with the register in search of a bell, but came up empty handed.

  “You have got to be shittin’ me.” I muttered to myself as I pushed my hands back through my hair. I waited a few minutes, expecting someone to help me eventually, but ten minutes later, I was still standin’ around waitin’. I waited five more minutes and when still no one showed, I started to leave. I would definitely be callin’ about this place. Just as my hand reached for the door to push it open, I heard a small voice come from behind me.

  “Glenn? Glenn Green?” I quickly turned around recognizing the familiarity of that voice.

  “Tanya? Tanya Lee? Holy shit, girl.” Holy hell, she grew up good. Tanya was always the prettiest girl in school, but wow. I shook the sinful thoughts from my mind as she came bounding over to me, wrappin’ her arms around my neck and givin’ me a big hug.

  “Oh my lord, how long has it been?” She stood back with her hands on her hips, tryin’ to let me get a good look at her I’m sure.

  “It’s been about three years, give or take. You look amazing, T.”

  She let out a cute giggle at my old nickname for her. “God, so do you. So how are things goin’?”

  “Well, Madison and I finally got the band signed. We played that music festival last year and won the record deal. Since then, life has just been a whirlwind. We actually go back out on tour tomorrow night for six weeks.” I pushed my hand back through my hair and followed Tanya’s eyes as they focused in on my wedding band. “Oh shit, yeah and I got married.” Oh shit, Cami was gonna kill me. “Hey, I hate to cut the reunion short, but my wife and her mom are waitin’ for me over at Cracker Barrel. I just needed to grab a cupcake if you’ve got one made?”

  Tanya made no attempt to move, and I instantly knew that what I had just told her, shocked the shit outta her. I waved my hand in front of her face tryin’ to get her attention. When she finally came to, she quickly moved back behind the counter where the glass case of cakes was.

  “So, married huh?” I could hear the inflection in her tone when she said the word married.

  “Yeah. It was actually our one year anniversary yesterday, hence the reason for the cupcake.” I laughed, but Tanya did not. The situation was actually startin’ to get a bit uncomfortable.

  “That’s awesome.” It sure as shit didn’t sound like it was awesome to her. “Who is the lucky girl? Anyone I know?”

  “I doubt it. She’s from Arizona. She’s actually Madison’s fiancé’s best friend. Wow that’s a mouthful. Her name is Cami.” I could see Tanya’s demeanor change instantaneously.

  “That’s nice. How is Madison?”

  I rolled my eyes in mock irritation, but I really was gettin’ irritated. Now I remember why I broke up with her junior year, she was jealous as shit. “He’s good. He’s engaged and has a daughter that just turned one.”

  “Oh…I see. Well here’s your cupcake.”

  She slid the cupcake box towards me. “How much do I owe ya?” I opened my wallet to pay her, but she waved her hand.

  “On the house. I’m sure the owner won’t mind.” She smiled.

  “Oh, so you own the place?”

  “Yeah, with my mom. Opened it up about six months ago.”

  “Nice. All right, well it was nice seein’ ya again, T. I gotta go. I’m sure I’ll see ya around.” Before she could say anything else, I went runnin’ out the door. Cami was gonna kill me, and boy how I was loathing havin’ to tell her about runnin’ into Tanya. Ugh, could this day get any worse?

  Chapter 17

  Cami

  I glanced down at my watch one last time before finally asking the waiter to come take our order. Glenn had now been gone for thirty minutes, and I had no idea what he was doing or why it was taking so long. I went from irritated to pissed off within ten minutes, and now I was just livid. Who invites his wife and mother-in-law to dinner, and then ditches them? I swear he was just trying to piss me off before he left.

  I leaned forward about to ask my mom if I could use her phone, when I saw Glenn come running towards our table. He was carrying a small pink box and I was instantly confused. He pressed his lips tenderly against mine as I looked up at him and my anger slowly started to dissipate.

  “I’m sorry.” He took his seat next to me, placing his hand on my thigh. All I could do was smile up at him. “Sorry for keepin’ you ladies waitin’. Did y’all go ahead and order?”

  I blushed, as I felt bad for ordering just to spite him. “Sorry, we didn’t know how long you were going to be.”

  “It’s okay, love. I was just wonderin’
was all.”

  “What took you so long?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to actually know, but I asked regardless.

  “I got my baby a little surprise.” He placed the pink box on the table and nodded for me to open it.

  My fingers slid across the soft box, pulling the lid up from the sides. My mouth dropped open when I saw the beautifully handcrafted cupcake. The frosting was light pink and had a sugar blown butterfly on top of it. “It’s beautiful.” I pulled his face to mine, planting a long loving kiss on his lips.

  “Well, our anniversary kind of got ruined in a sense, so I figured I would make it up to you. I know it isn’t much, but I wanted to do something.”

  “Well I absolutely love it. Look, Mom.” I turned the box around so she could see it.

  “Oh my, that is stunning. What is that butterfly made out of?”

  “Blown sugar.” Glenn and I answered in unison.

  “That’s some talent, right there.”

  She was right. Whoever made this is extremely talented. “Where did you get this from?”

  I could see the ‘oh shit’ look cross his face and I knew I was in for quite a story. “Funny story. I went to the flower and cake shop just up a ways. It turns out a girl that I went to school with owns it. She makes all of the cakes and toppings. Anyway, I had to wait for her to put it all together for me.”

  Given the fact that I had been a huge bitch lately, I silently made the decision to let this one go and not let it ruin our night. I had enough happen today, and I couldn’t deal with much more. “I see. Well I absolutely love it. I almost don’t want to eat it, it’s so pretty.” My mom and I both laughed and Glenn just sat there staring at me with a huge smile on his face. “What?”