Playing Scared

by Sara Solovitch

  Chiyo Sakamoto (in Memoirs of a Geisha), (1)

  Chödrön, Pema, (1)

  Choke (Beilock), (1)

  Chopin, Frédéric

  Aunt Maddy and, (1)

  Étude in A Minor, (1)

  Kidder and, (1)

  Cicoria, Tony, (1)

  circus artists, (1)

  Claparède, Édouard, (1)

  claustrophobics, (1), (2)

  Clemens, Clara, (1)

  coca leaves, (1)

  cognitive behavior therapy, (1), (2), (3)

  cold feet, (1)

  Coleman, Ornette, (1)

  Colier, Nancy Shainberg, (1)

  Columbia College, (1)

  Columbia College radio station, (1)

  Comédie-Française, Paris, (1)

  concentration, (1), (2), (3), (4). See also mindfulness

  contextual therapy theory, (1)

  control-mastery theory, (1)

  conversion disorder, (1)

  Coria, Guillermo, (1)

  Cortot, Alfred, (1)

  cricket, (1)

  Crime and Punishment (Dostoyevsky), (1)

  Criticism, as institution, (1)

  crotch-grabbing on stage, (1)

  culture-specific variants of performance anxiety

  Cambodian khyal cap, (1)

  Cambodian pul meunuh, (1), (2)

  Indian dhat, (1), (2)

  Japanese taijin kyofusho, (1), (2)

  Jewish aymat zibur, (1)

  religious leadership, (1), (2)

  dancers and perfectionism, (1), (2)

  Danner, Blythe, (1)

  dartitis, (1)

  Davidson, Richard, (1), (2), (3)

  Davis, Miles, (1), (2), (3)

  Debussy, Claude

  The Girl with the Flaxen Hair, (1)

  prelude played for Ellen Chen, (1)

  Reflets dans l’eau, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  Suite Bergamasque, (1), (2)

  deintegration and reintegration cycle, (1), (2), (3)

  deintegrative anxiety, (1)

  design tolerances, (1)

  dhat, (1), (2)

  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), (1), (2)

  Dickens, Charles, (1), (2), (3)

  Dickinson, Emily, (1)

  diving, (1)

  Dominus, Susan, (1)

  Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, (1)

  drugs used to control anxiety

  alcohol, (1), (2)

  Amanita muscaria, (1)

  amphetamines, (1)

  beta-blockers. See beta-blockers

  coca leaves, (1)

  common prescription drugs, (1)

  hashish, (1)

  for soldiers, (1)

  stimulant medications, (1)

  valerian, (1)

  Xanax, (1)

  Drury Lane Theatre, London, (1)

  DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), (1), (2)

  Durkin, Tom, (1)

  Eastman School of Music, (1), (2), (3)

  EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), (1)

  Eisenberg, Jesse, (1)

  Elizabeth Bennet (in Pride and Prejudice), (1)

  Ellen Olenska (in The Age of Innocence), (1)

  Elson, Margret, (1)

  EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), (1), (2)

  Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), (1)

  The Emotional Life of Your Brain (Davidson and Begley), (1)

  emotion memory, (1)

  energy medicine, (1)

  epinephrine. See adrenaline

  equestrians and perfectionism, (1)

  erection, psychological, (1)

  errors, designing for, (1)

  eugenics, (1)

  exposure therapy, (1), (2), (3), (4). See also cognitive behavior therapy; extinction training; Solovitch, Sara

  extinction training, (1), (2). See also exposure therapy

  Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), (1), (2)

  Ezekiel (aymat zibur sufferer), (1)

  failure and acceptance, (1)

  Fanselow, Michael, (1)

  fear. See also anxiety; stage fright

  amygdala and, (1), (2)

  attraction and, (1)

  of blushing, (1)

  of the community, (1)

  of a deformed body, (1)

  drugs to curtail. See drugs used to control anxiety

  as excitement without breath, (1)

  exposure to. See exposure therapy

  of eye-to-eye contact, (1)

  of interpersonal relations, (1), (2)

  memory and, (1), (2)

  of offending others, (1)

  of one’s own body odor, (1)

  Pema Chödrön on, (1)

  physiological response and, (1), (2)

  of public speaking. See public speaking, fear of

  social phobias, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

  therapies and treatments for, (1), (2)

  of urinating in presence of others, (1), (2)

  Fitzgerald, Ella, (1), (2)

  Fleisher, Leon, (1)

  Flett, Gordon, (1)

  fly agaric, (1)

  focal dystonia, (1), (2)

  focus, (1), (2), (3). See also mindfulness

  football, (1), (2)

  Foster-Hylton, Brigitte, (1)

  Freer, Peter, (1)

  French Open (2004), (1)

  Freud, Sigmund, and Freudian psychology, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6)

  Fry, Stephen, (1)

  gabbai, (1)

  Gabbard, Glen, (1)

  Gabrilowitsch, Ossip, (1)

  Galen, Mary Lou, (1)

  Gambon, Michael, (1)

  gamma waves, (1)

  Gandhi, Mahatma, (1)

  Gaudio, Gastón, (1)

  generalized anxiety disorder, (1)

  Georgeff, Phil, (1)

  George (student of van der Linde), (1)

  Gesamtkunstwerk, (1)

  Gibson, Mel, (1)

  Gillespie, Dizzy, (1), (2)

  Gladwell, Malcolm, (1)

  Glenn Gould School, (1)

  glossophobia, (1). See also public speaking, fear of

  Golden, Arthur, (1)

  golf, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

  Gould, Glenn, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  Gradova, Gitta, (1)

  Graffman, Gary, (1)

  Grant, Hugh, (1)

  Great Expectations (Dickens), (1)

  Greenberg, David, (1), (2)

  Greene, Don

  author’s work with, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  as Kagayema’s mentor, (1), (2)

  performance anxiety of, (1), (2)

  performance inventory of, (1), (2)

  work with athletes and musicians, (1), (2)

  Griffin, Johnny, (1)

  Gross, Terry, (1)

  group therapy, (1), (2)

  Guevara, Che, (1)

  Gutierrez, Martha, (1), (2), (3)

  Gwynn, Landis, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  gymnasts and perfectionism, (1), (2)

  Hancock, Herbie, (1)

  hashish, (1)

  Haydn, Joseph, (1), (2), (3)

  Hayes, Dorsha, (1)

  Held, Woodie, (1)

  Hewitt, Paul, (1)

  Hinton, Devon, (1)

  hippocampus, (1), (2), (3)

  history of stage fright and famous sufferers, (1), (2)

  Alcibiades, (1)

  changing roles of performers and, (1)

  contemporary culture and, (1)

  Donald Verrilli, (1)

  electric lighting and, (1)

  Eric Brown, (1)

  Laurence Olivier, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  Mahatma Gandhi, (1)

  Mark Twain, (1)

  Michael Gambon, (1)

  Moses, (1)

  Rick Warren, (1)

  Steve Blass, (1)

  terms used, (1)

  Thomas Jefferson, (1)

  tightening up and, (1)

  Hofmann, Stefan, (1)


  Hofmann, Josef, (1)

  Hogan, Ben, (1)

  Hornell, New York, (1)

  Horowitz, Vladimir, (1), (2)

  Howard (Zeitlin’s uncle), (1)

  Human Performance Lab, Univ. Chicago, (1)

  human stirpiculture, (1)

  hurdling (track event), (1)

  Huxley, Aldous, (1)

  hypnosis, (1)

  imperfection and integrity, (1)

  Inber, Vera, (1)

  Indian dhat, (1), (2)

  insomnia, (1), (2)

  Institute of Sports Psychology, Munich, (1)

  integrative psychology, (1)

  integrity, archetype of, (1), (2), (3)

  internal audience, (1), (2)

  Ivan Ilyich (Tolstoy character), (1)

  Iyengar, B. K. S., (1)

  Jamal, Ahmad, (1)

  James, William, (1), (2)

  Japanese taijin kyofusho, (1), (2)

  Jay-Z, (1)

  jazz

  Jesse’s passion for, (1)

  progressive scene in NYC, (1)

  Strassmayer’s passion for, (1)

  Zeitlin’s introduction to, (1)

  Jefferson, Thomas, (1)

  Jerusalem, (1)

  Jesse (author’s son), (1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

  Jews in St. Petersburg, Russia, (1)

  jikoshisen-kyofu, (1)

  jikoshu-kyofu, (1)

  Jiro Dreams of Sushi (documentary), (1)

  the jitters, (1)

  Joseph (author’s brother), (1)

  Judaism and aymat zibur, (1)

  Juilliard School, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6)

  Jung, Carl, and Jungian psychology, (1), (2), (3)

  Kabat-Zinn, Jon, (1)

  Kabbalists, (1)

  Kageyama, Noa

  author’s work with, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6)

  bullet-proof approach to performance anxiety, (1)

  childhood of, (1), (2)

  in college, (1)

  Greene’s mentorship of, (1), (2), (3)

  Kansas, (1)

  Kathie (author’s friend), (1)

  Kenny, Dianna, (1)

  Khmer Rouge, (1)

  khyal cap, (1)

  Kidder, Lynn, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  Kind of Blue (Davis), (1)

  Kiran (competitor at St. Catharines), (1), (2)

  KLARO!, (1)

  Knisley, Miss (author’s third grade teacher), (1)

  Knoblauch, Chuck, (1)

  Kostya (in An Actor Prepares), (1)

  Krishnamurti, Jiddu, (1)

  Kristel, Sylvia, (1)

  Krupa, Gene, (1)

  Lacan, Jacques, (1)

  Lahr, John, (1)

  Larsen, Irene, (1)

  Lasorda, Tommy, (1)

  lawyers and performance anxiety, (1), (2), (3)

  Leary, Timothy, (1)

  LeDoux, Joseph, (1), (2)

  left-handedness, (1)

  left hemisphere of brain, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  Lehnert, Doris, (1)

  Le Roy, New York, (1)

  Lewin, Kurt, (1)

  The Lightning Concerto (Cicoria), (1)

  Linn, Amy, (1), (2)

  Loiseau, Bernard, (1)

  Los Angeles Dodgers, (1)

  Madam B. (Aunty Maddy’s teacher), (1)

  Madame Defarge (in A Tale of Two Cities), (1)

  Maddy (author’s aunt), (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7)

  Magyar, Gabor, (1)

  Maimonides, (1)

  Mama’s Family (TV show), (1), (2)

  Mary (author’s friend), (1), (2)

  Mass Appeal (play), (1)

  mass hysteria, (1)

  Max (author’s son), (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6)

  May, Rollo, (1)

  McCartney, Paul, (1)

  McCroskey, James, (1)

  McGaugh, James, (1)

  McKenzie, Jon, (1)

  McMahon, Elizabeth Jane, (1), (2)

  meditation, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7)

  Memoirs of a Geisha (Golden), (1)

  Memory and Emotion (McGaugh), (1)

  Mendez, Celia, (1)

  merger state, (1)

  Michigan State University, (1)

  Midler, Bette, (1)

  mind-body disconnect, (1)

  mindfulness

  attentiveness, (1), (2)

  concentration, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  focus, (1), (2)

  tools for

  biofeedback, (1)

  meditation, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

  third-person reflection, (1)

  yoga, (1), (2)

  Mingus, Charles, (1)

  ministers and performance anxiety, (1), (2)

  Minnelli, Liza, (1), (2)

  Mok, Gwendolyn, (1), (2)

  Mondlak, Drori, (1)

  Moose, Bob, (1)

  Morita, Shoma, (1)

  Morita therapy, (1)

  Moser, Jason, (1)

  Moses (Biblical), (1)

  Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus

  author’s feelings about, (1)

  concertos, (1)

  Piano Concerto no. 15 in B-flat Major, (1)

  Piano Concerto no. 23 in A Major, (1)

  sonatas, (1), (2), (3)

  Sonata in A Minor K. 310, (1)

  Sonata in F Major, (1)

  Sonata no. 8 in A Minor, (1), (2), (3)

  Mr. C (perfectionist), (1)

  Muhammad, Fatimah, (1)

  Murphy, Davy, (1)

  musicians. See also Solovitch, Sara

  athletes compared to, (1)

  beta-blocker use by, (1), (2), (3)

  fear of public speaking and, (1)

  merging by, (1)

  mindfulness and, (1)

  parental expectations and, (1)

  perfectionism in, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  performance anxiety in, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6)

  Nagel, Julie Jaffee, (1)

  Nancy (competitor at St. Catharines), (1)

  National Symphony Orchestra, (1), (2)

  Nepal, (1)

  neurolinguistic programming, (1)

  neuroplasticity, (1), (2)

  Newland Archer (in The Age of Innocence), (1)

  New School, (1), (2)

  New York, New York (film), (1)

  New York Yankees, (1)

  Noyes, John Humphrey, (1)

  Noyes, Pierrepont, (1)

  Oberlin Conservatory, (1), (2)

  obsessive-compulsive disorder, (1)

  Ogilvie, Bruce, (1)

  Olivier, Laurence, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6)

  Oneida Perfectionists, (1)

  Oregon State University, (1)

  orgasm, winning compared to, (1)

  Orlando, John, (1), (2)

  Othello, role of, (1)

  Outliers (Gladwell), (1)

  overthinking, (1), (2)

  Oxford University, (1)

  Paderewski, Ignace, (1)

  panic disorder, (1)

  Papillons (Schumann), (1)

  paralysis by analysis, (1)

  parental expectations and performance anxiety, (1), (2), (3)

  paruresis, (1), (2)

  Paul (author’s friend), (1)

  Pavarotti, Luciano, (1)

  Pavlov, Ivan, (1)

  perfection, pursuit of

  anxiety and, (1)

  by author, (1)

  effect on performance, (1), (2), (3)

  feelings of self-worth and, (1)

  Gwendolyn Mok on, (1)

  Hewitt and Flett on, (1)

  injuries and, (1), (2), (3)

  in Japan, (1)

  by John Orlando, (1), (2)

  by Nancy Shainberg Colier, (1)

  by Oneida Perfectionists, (1)

  by Ron Thompson, (1)

  suicide and, (1)

  by Tolstoy, (1)

  perfectionism paradox, (1)

  performance

  as aggressive act, (1)

  in contemporary culture, (1)


  reintegration and, (1)

  performance anxiety, (1), (2), (3), (4). See also stage fright

  Perform or Else (McKenzie), (1)

  Perls, Fritz, (1), (2)

  Phillip Fillmore (in Private Lessons), (1)

  pianist’s cramp, (1), (2)

  piano

  author’s stage fright at, (1), (2)

  as author’s touchstone, (1)

  piano camp, (1)

  Piazzolla, Astor, (1)

  Pip (in Great Expectations), (1)

  Pittsburgh Pirates, (1)

  plasticity of brain, (1), (2)

  poisoning by people, (1), (2)

  politicians, (1)

  Polly (author’s mother)

  ambitions for daughter, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  author’s wish for approval of, (1), (2)

  moving of family to New York, (1), (2)

  performance expectations of, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  Port Colborne, Ontario, (1), (2), (3)

  post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), (1), (2), (3), (4)

  Powell, Ginnie, (1)

  practice, spiritual, (1)

  prefrontal cortex of brain, (1), (2)

  Prentzel’s Sonata no. (1), (2)

  Pride and Prejudice (Austen), (1)

  Private Lessons (film), (1)

  propranolol, (1), (2), (3). See also beta-blockers

  psychiatry, (1)

  psychological erection, (1)

  psychology

  centering, (1), (2), (3), (4)

  child prodigies and, (1)

  control-mastery theory, (1)

  deintegration and reintegration cycle, (1), (2), (3)

  deintegrative anxiety, (1)

  Freudian, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6)

  integrative, (1)

  integrity, archetype of, (1), (2), (3)

  Jungian, (1), (2), (3)

  merger state, (1)

  sport psychology, (1)

  survivor guilt, (1)

  unresolved intergenerational loss, (1)

  psychotherapy, (1), (2), (3), (4), (5)

  PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), (1), (2), (3), (4)

  public speaking, fear of

  Alcibiades’s, (1), (2)

  announcers and, (1)

  college requirements and, (1), (2)

  fear of feeling during, (1)

  as form of stage fright, (1)

  group therapy for, (1), (2)

  Judaism and aymat zibur, (1)

  Jungian psychology and, (1)

  lawyers and, (1), (2)

  ministers and, (1), (2)

  as most common in America, (1), (2)

  musicians and, (1)

  pill for, (1), (2), (3)

  practice and, (1)

  suicide and, (1)

  Toastmasters, (1)

  virtual reality programs for, (1)

  Pullen, Don, (1)

  pul meunuh, (1), (2)

  R. H. Bruskin Associates, (1)

  race car drivers, (1), (2), (3)

  Rachmaninoff, Sergei, (1)

  Raeburn, Boyd, (1)

  Raeburn, Susan, (1)

  Raskolnikov (in Crime and Punishment), (1)

  reintegration, (1), (2)