Tender Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  Misty, amber eyes sought solace in the gentle green ones of Shalee. “I have heard many tales of how Indian women treat their slaves. Yet, you do not seem hostile or cruel. I know I should never show fear before my enemies, but how can I hide it when my insides quiver like the leaves upon an elm tree in a violent wind? I wonder if you know how irresistible your son is, if you’ve ever experienced the powerful emotions which he unleashed within me. How will I ever endure the touch of another man?” At that ominous thought, she began to weep. She covered her face, naked with deep and conflicting emotions, betraying herself to the Indian princess.

  Her torment and tears savagely gnawed upon Shalee’s defensive restraint. So many agonizing memories returned to haunt her. She mutely replied to Rebecca, you are terribly wrong, Rebecca; for no one knows better than I what it is to endure degradation, and overwhelming terror. How I wish I could help you, but I cannot risk exposing myself. I cannot risk the discovery of my own white blood and deceptions. I cannot endanger the lives and honor of Gray Eagle and my son. God help you, Rebecca, for I cannot…

  The more Shalee attempted to block out the pain and fear and tears of this innocent girl, the more Rebecca’s torment called out to her. She reached out and lifted Rebecca’s quivering chin and smiled encouragingly into her sad eyes. “Kokipi sni, Rebecca,” she softly coaxed, then smiled again.

  “I do not understand, Shalee,” she stated in despondency.

  “Shalee koda,” she ventured, hoping this perceptive, intelligent girl could recognize her offer of friendship and truce.

  Astounded by this turn in events, Rebecca blurted out, “Friend! Rebecca koda?” she questioned this startling enigma.

  Shalee nodded. To forestall any future problems, she quietly continued, “Shalee koda. Wanmdi Hota hiya koda. Wanhinkpe Wiyakpa hiya koda. Rebecca kaskapi.”

  Tears filled Rebecca’s eyes, but this time they were tears of joy and relief. She smiled and said, “Thank you, Shalee. I know you cannot understand me, but your kindness has removed much of my fear and sadness. Rebecca koda,” she repeated happily.

  “Ku-wa, Rebecca. Mni. Can. Ku-wa Shalee,” she called for the young girl to assist her with the chores.

  Shalee lifted the water skins from a side pole and handed them to Rebecca. She picked up the wood sling and called for the slightly relaxed captive to follow after her. Meekly, Rebecca did as she was commanded.

  Soon, the chores were completed. Wood was neatly stacked into a pile; the water skins were filled. An aromatic stew of deer chunks and wild vegetables was simmering over then fire. Although they had spoken little since early afternoon, a tranquil atmosphere surrounded them.

  Rebecca was confused about her role in these Indians’ lives. She easily understood she was a slave to this particular family and was expected to work hard for them. But how far beyond slavery did her new position go? Would they ever accept her?

  She wasn’t blind or ignorant. She could witness and perceive the contempt in the warriors; far more unsettling, she could clearly read the fierce hatred and resentment in the women, especially those around her age. Not a single girl had given any indication of eventual friendship as they worked nearby. Their hostility was so strong that it felt like a tangible force. Even Bright Arrow was distant and cool in his camp. She was alone and vulnerable in this world of powerful enemies. Thank God for Shalee, for she was the only ray of hope in this dark situation.

  Rebecca was overjoyed by the way in which Shalee had affably issued her commands and briskly worked beside her. Now she knew where the gentle streak in Bright Arrow came from—and also the ruthless one…

  Shalee, too, was cheerful and serene. Things had gone extremely well between her and this charming white girl. Not once had Rebecca refused or bucked any order. Not once had she become resentful, insolent, or hostile. Starving for love and acceptance, Rebecca had obeyed her. She appeared such a gentle, loving, vivacious creature. Rebecca reminded Shalee of the girl she had once been long, long ago: that naive, trusting English lass who had come to this arduous territory at the tender age of nineteen, that innocent girl who had helplessly watched her existence torn asunder by the hatred between the Indian and the white man, that bonny youth who had miraculously discovered a powerful love and an incredible life in the arms of a warrior who had once viewed and treated her just as her own son was presently treating this white girl. How strange life could be…

  Shalee had been powerless to control her own fate; yet, the Great Spirit was allowing her to prevent her same tragic existence from being repeated in the life of this new white girl. She prayed that Rebecca would eventually become acceptable to her husband; she prayed he would not force her to leave their tepee in seven days…

  It was nearly dark when the two men returned to their tepee. The air was heavy with mystery and bitterness, but Shalee somehow knew it had to do with something more pressing than this white girl who had been rudely thrust into their lives. When she softly questioned her husband as she dished up his dinner, he seemed reluctant to discuss the new trouble with her. He grinned and caressed her cheek, telling her he would speak of it later.

  The smile which she sent him was radiant; it bespoke a love which surpassed time and racial differences. It spoke of respect, desire, and unselfishness. Her green eyes glowed with these forceful emotions. Gray Eagle read them and lost himself within their power. As now, words were often unnecessary between them, for they could communicate with only tender expressions.

  Rebecca curiously observed this unity of love and passion which existed between Gray Eagle and Shalee, which encircled them tightly within its bonds. The fact Gray Eagle could love so fully, boldly, and strongly had a mysterious effect upon her. How could this majestic, moody man be all bad? It was clear to her that his love for Shalee had been the deciding factor of her own fate. Unquestionably, Shalee had spoken up on her behalf, and he had relented in his fury in order to please her. Was it possible to become so close to Shalee that she would take her side once more in seven days? Shalee could accept her here; Bright Arrow could accept her here. Somehow she must convince Gray Eagle to permit her to stay! But how?

  Bright Arrow had forbidden himself to acknowledge Rebecca’s presence. It was imperative that his father remain ignorant of his private feelings for her. He laughed and chatted with his parents. The two men ate first, as was the Indian custom. He furtively studied his mother’s glowing expression. He was pleased to hear that Rebecca had been helpful and obedient. He was surprised and elated to see how much his mother was enjoying Rebecca’s presence. Could it be that she was intrigued by this white girl, mystically attached to her? Perhaps Shalee’s white blood responded to his Rebecca? He instantly fretted, for it was unwise for his own mother to dwell on that part of herself. He admitted that his father had been right to worry…

  Shalee served the two men, then talked with them while they ate. She fervently prayed that Rebecca would remain silent and respectful for the next six days. If she recklessly rebelled against her or either of the two men, she would be gone that very moment. Shalee would do all within her means to help and to protect Rebecca, but it was up to the girl to behave correctly. No matter how she felt inside, if Rebecca became defiant, she would not take her part.

  Neither Shalee nor the two men had anything to worry about. Rebecca had heard many grisly tales of Indian captivity. She also knew many things about the Indians’ customs and ways. She knew how very fortunate she was to be with Shalee and Bright Arrow; she would do nothing to shame or to anger them. She would also try her best to stay out of Gray Eagle’s sight!

  Nearly all Indian slaves lived under the brutality of their owners. Most existed under the daily threat of being sold, killed, or traded. Most labored hard and without reward. Most were despised and abused. Many often died, were maimed, or went insane. It was a dire life of torture, shame, and hardship. Yet, in the tepee of Shalee, there was hope; there was a marked difference to enslavement here, one she fiercely vowed to guard and to savor fo
r as long as possible. She would do anything necessary to stay here, anything…

  As her softened gaze observed Shalee and Bright Arrow in jovial conversation, Rebecca’s eyes filled with loneliness and longing. How she wished she were sitting with them instead of being ignored in the shadows upon a buffalo skin. The silvery laughter of Shalee brought a wistful smile to her lips. She hungrily devoured their profiles in the firelight, craving their acceptance and affection. Her eyes lingered upon the powerful muscles in Bright Arrow’s back as they rippled with each movement or hearty laughter. How she wished his back was not to her; how she longed to gaze into those jet eyes which stripped away her will and reason. How she wished she knew their language and could talk with them.

  Her reflective gaze moved over to the virile physique of Gray Eagle. He was sitting with his left side to her, offering her a profile of masculinity which was frightening and appealing. Surely he was in his early forties. He was a pinnacle of manhood—just like his son. No doubt both men were desired by numerous women! Jealousy and envy battled common sense before she could quell her traitorous thoughts. Shalee was lucky beyond measure to have won his love. If not for Bright Arrow, Rebecca knew…

  Rebecca’s roving eyes which mutely bespoke her innermost opinions fused with the discerning ones of Gray Eagle. His obsidian stare was so penetrating and captivating that she could not look away. She shivered, unable to thwart his probe. It seemed as if he had pierced her most secret thoughts! An odd light flickered within his ebony eyes, but was quickly extinguished before she could comprehend it. Her face flushed with guilt and shame. Still, he would not release her from that potent, all-knowing stare. As if utterly hypnotized, she helplessly submitted to his intense scrutiny.

  Gray Eagle’s face was impassive; his eyes fathomless. As his sharp gaze slowly travelled the full length of her body several times, she felt totally naked; she felt as emotionally ravished by his magnetic eyes as she had by Bright Arrow’s physical touch! She felt strangely touched and curiously punished. She feared she was more his prisoner than Bright Arrow’s! What satanic power did this obdurate warrior possess?

  Gray Eagle shifted his gaze to the fire, his thoughts spinning in a violent maelstrom. There was no doubt within his mind that Rebecca found him desirable. Had her bold, unwavering stare been inviting, pleading? Was it he she inwardly wanted to ensnare and not his son? Did the evil spirit of her dead father dominate her life and mind? Had Powchutu’s restless spirit guided her here to tempt him, to enchant and bewitch him, to cause a rift between him and Shalee or between him and Bright Arrow? Was the malevolent spirit of Powchutu trying to destroy them all with his beautiful, enticing daughter? The trouble was that Rebecca was so much like his Shalee eighteen winters ago…beautiful, desirable, vulnerable, eager, and seductive…What would happen if Rebecca made this lust for him known to Shalee or to his son? What would happen if he weakened his resolve and hatred for only a moment? He was to take her away in six moons. What would occur once they were alone? Were her evil and magic so great that she could…No! he angrily exploded. Never! It was only her resemblance to Shalee which attracted him.

  Chapter Six

  Gray Eagle was lying upon his back, staring up into the darkness of his tepee, catching glimpses of the full moon through the ventilation opening, noting the even respiration of his wife at his side, and listening to the muffled sounds of lovemaking from his son’s distant mat: such had been the pattern of his nights for the past four moons.

  Rebecca’s constant presence in his tepee had taken a toll upon his peace of mind. His normally calm nature had suffered because of this girl and the danger which she could represent to them. Each day he feared some terrible secret would come to light. He had become restless and edgy. He could not bring himself to make love to Shalee while Powchutu’s daughter was in sight and sound of such a precious and private union. He could not speak freely and easily with his son while Bright Arrow’s eyes lingered upon his captive and his attention was upon her rather than on his father’s words. Eating was difficult, for he sensed her eyes upon him. How could he ignore her presence when she stood in his line of vision, when her voice touched his alert ears, when she “accidentally” brushed against him while serving him meals, when she was obviously working her way into the hearts of his son and wife? It had been a mistake to let her stay for even one moon! Yet, he could not go back on his word. He was trapped in this distasteful, perilous situation for three more moons.

  In his moody and guarded state, his words were often abrupt and evasive. He seemed wary and remote. Yet, he could not explain these unnatural fears and apprehensions to his wife. Already she admired and respected this white girl. Shalee would never permit him to send Rebecca away if she learned the truth…At least he could be grateful for the timely raid tomorrow which would take him and Bright Arrow away from camp for two suns. He frowned as he recalled how his son had vainly argued against going with him this time; he mentally raged at the undeniable reality of Bright Arrow’s brazen attachment to Rebecca.

  Yet, he could hardly fault him. Rebecca possessed a beauty and feminine mystique which could almost match Shalee’s. It was tragic that she carried the blood of the man who had been his worst enemy. He reluctantly admitted that she was a valuable slave, accepting of her captivity. Indeed she was clever, strong, and resilient. It was abundantly clear she was doing everything she could to coax his acceptance! She did nothing intentionally to insult or annoy. She was too good to be real or to be trusted!

  Gray Eagle wondered: Was she cunningly preventing any visible reason to justify her departure? Was she craftily portraying the perfect woman and slave, knowing how it would look if he traded such a rare and valuable captive? Who would sell such seeming perfection?

  His deductions alarmed him. Only a man who feared her allure! Only a man who was frantically attempting to protect himself from such dangerous traits! Only a father who wanted a deluding creature out of his son’s life to prevent his dishonor—or a father who secretly held powerful feelings for that girl himself! Yet, those feelings were not love or desire; they were foreboding and embittering. Even his loyal warriors failed to aid his cause, for they favorably remarked upon her beauty, obedience, and great value!

  But if he dared to speak the name of her real father, many of his warriors would recall the dauntless half-breed scout who had almost challenged him before five thousand warriors just to protect Shalee from his capture! They would recall the vivid affection revealed between his wife and Rebecca Kenny’s father. They would recall how Rebecca’s real father had tried to kill him and to steal his Shalee, how the murderous scout had delivered his one and only defeat at any man’s hands! Powchutu’s demeaning and unforgivable deeds were abundant.

  Only once had Gray Eagle carelessly allowed an enemy to take him unaware; he had recklessly allowed Powchutu to sneak up on him and to shoot him, to leave him for dead, then to run off with his wife! He would never forget or pardon the shame and anguish which Rebecca’s real father had brought into his life. It had been many torturous months before the sullen Eagle had accidentally found his wife again. Then, he had nearly killed Shalee with his bare hands, led to think her traitorous to him from the past words and taunts of Powchutu when the defeated warrior had lain bleeding at the scout’s feet!

  If those foul deeds had not been great enough, in his turbulent distress, Gray Eagle had almost innocently destroyed his own son Bright Arrow as he had rested within Shalee’s body. He would never forgive how Powchutu had cunningly and wickedly led him to believe that Gray Eagle’s first child was his own! If not for Joe Kenny—the man Rebecca honestly believed to be her father—Gray Eagle knew that both Shalee and Bright Arrow would have died by the Eagle’s vengeful talons, a product of Powchutu’s treacherous betrayal and overpowering jealousy. In truth, Rebecca’s relationship to his old friend Joe was the only reason she was still alive. Otherwise, Gray Eagle would have sent her to her death on the first day!

  Silence now reached his al
ert ears and keen senses. He assumed his son and the white captive were finally asleep. He wondered if the same feelings of self-betrayal and shame which he had known long ago presently tormented his son. Surely it was impossible to avoid such unrelenting emotions when a warrior weakly clung to his avowed enemy. He could recall his own agony and ecstasy: agony in public, ecstasy in private. Gray Eagle frowned in bitterness, for he knew Shalee and Bright Arrow would rebel against sending her away even though they had both promised they would not. Only three more days…they could not pass quickly enough!

  Gray Eagle was mistaken in his assumption, for each of the three people who lived in his tepee were awake. Each was ensnared by thoughts of varying kinds; each was caught up in this drama which demanded to be played out. Weary, soon Gray Eagle was the only one asleep.

  Bright Arrow lay still and silent, trying not to disturb the white girl at his side. Gray Eagle was indeed accurate in his conclusions about his son’s feelings. Bright Arrow felt and knew that same agony and ecstasy which his father had discovered and endured. Everything within Bright Arrow resisted Rebecca’s loss; yet, he knew he must obey his father’s dictates. If only this girl wasn’t everything he wanted and desired in a female. If only she wasn’t white. Sadly, she was…

  He had observed her for many days now. She appeared happy and tranquil here. She seemed to belong with him. She had been respectful and submissive, much to his relief. His mother had taken an instant liking to Rebecca; yet, his father often made his resentment lucidly clear to all of them. No matter how much Rebecca tried to please his father and to lessen his dislike of her, she failed. This futile ploy to win his father’s acceptance made her leaving an unyielding reality. Bright Arrow had no choice but to believe Gray Eagle simply could not tolerate a white girl in his life.