Hidden Barriers

by Sara Shirley

  The bathroom door shuts. “What are we, fifteen?” I hear him yell behind the closed door.

  Josh starts laughing as the scene continues to play. I turn and raise my eyes at him. “What is so damn funny?” Courtney must sense the bad karma in the air or something because she pushes off the wall and heads over to the bathroom door and knocks. Drew opens the door as Courtney walks into the room, shutting the door behind her.

  Josh continues to laugh until I smack him across the arm. “We have to stop this!” I command while pointing to the door they are behind.

  He shakes his head as he pulls my arm toward my bedroom. “I gave up on that girl years ago. The way I see it, she’s brought us back together twice now, so I’m going to let her do whatever she wants to do.”

  “But, that’s my brother,” I whine.

  “What’s really bugging you, Sam? I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with Drew possibly making out with Courtney,” Josh insinuates as he pulls me onto the bed with him.

  I release a long, drawn out sigh before answering him. “If Drew moves on and finds a girl, he’ll no longer be here to help protect me…like he did in the past,” I say as I stare at the empty door.

  “Sam, I don’t think Drew making out with my sister is going to make him forget all about you. It’s no longer his responsibly to protect you anyway. That job falls on my lap, and I promise to be there if you are ever in trouble, okay?”

  My gaze returns to Josh’s face. “How did I ever manage to find you?”

  “Oh, you know, I knock all the girls I love in the face with a hospital door.”

  Chuckling softly, I think how crazy a story that will be to tell our grandkids someday.

  Shit. I just went there, didn’t I? Well, I’ve now officially crossed over to that side. This whole being in love thing is clearly starting to play tricks on my mind as well as my heart.

  Nick and I are sitting at the roller derby arena just taking it all in. It’s opening day for the C-Naughties’ season, and my eyes have never seen so many different sights before. Double yellow track tape is mapped out on the floor for the derby race. The only way to describe it is to imagine a NASCAR racetrack with derby girls instead of racecars.

  Men dressed as referees roll about in the center of the track, following the girls around with a whistle in their mouths as they wave and point their arms constantly. There are penalty boxes, announcers, and let’s not even go there about what the hell my girlfriend is currently wearing.

  If I thought what she had on that day in the hospital was crazy, what she has on today is even worse. With this type of crowd, I am not worried about getting hit on by the women. It’s Sam that will probably be hit on by them. I swear, the woman who was next to me in the beer line had an Adam’s apple and a bulge. Just saying.

  I see Sam roll out from the dressing room, adjusting her shoulder guard straps as she chews on her mouth guard that dangles from her lips. Her helmet sparkles with pink glitter and matches her elbow and kneepads, which are also pink.

  That’s not what’s giving me a panic attack, though. She’s wearing her team tank top, which is fine. It’s the bootie shorts that rise up to her ass crack along with the fishnet stockings and pink garters on her thighs that have me on high alert. Sam rolls over to the rest of the team as I watch her converse with Lucy on the sideline. Lucy must see Nick and me in the crowd of various people as she gives us a quick gaze. Sam turns to give me a devilish smile before turning her back to me and bending over to fix her roller skate, giving me a full view of her ass in the air.

  Nick chokes on his beer when his gaze travels to watch my girlfriend’s ass in full view for everyone to see, but it’s when Lucy smacks her, that he completely loses it. Beer shoots from his nose as he coughs to clear his throat. The glare on my face tells him not to even go there.

  The music finally gets cranking as the derby is set to start. “Eye of the Tiger” blasts over the speakers as I begin to jam out and do my best Rocky Balboa impersonation. My hands start air drumming while I lip synch along. Nick laughs at my bad attempt to imitate. By the time I pop my jacket collar and roll up my sleeves, he’s in complete hysterics laughing.

  The music dies down when the masters of ceremony interrupt to get the derby underway. Sam and the girls leave the bench and stand with their coach along the side of the track in a huddle. They all throw their hands into the circle before shouting, “1…2…3…Naughtie sistas for life!”

  Nick leans over to catch my ear. “Dude, their coach is a scary looking chick. I’ve seen a lot of shit, but she is legit scary.”

  Sam’s told me stories about Dee, but “scary” she is not. If anything, she’s the biggest softy and loves each of those C-Naughtie girls as if they were blood. I turn my head to Nick. “Trust me. Underneath all those tattoos and piercings, she’s so much more than you think. She’s helped Sam in more ways than you’ll ever know.”

  As the announcers begin the team introductions, I’m amazed at the creativity of some of the girls’ derby names. I’m aware of the ones from the Naughtie house, but the others really blow my mind. “Kamikaze Cash,” “MC Slamher,” and “Scarin’ Blockovich” are just a few. The spotlight finds Sam on the track as she rolls her way to the front of the team before I hear them say, “And here’s Sammy Sweet Cheeks, last season’s leading scorer.” The crowd, along with Nick and me, erupts in a mixture of cheers and hollers.

  I see Kim and Rose standing in their all-star team section, fist pumping the air and sounding their air horns for her. They really are a family like none other. The level of support and love cannot compare on so many levels.

  I get up from my seat and ask Nick if he wants a couple of beers before Sam’s bout starts. He’s too engrossed in the fact that he’s actually got to think before he hits on a chick at this event. There aren’t exactly a lot playing on the team he wants. I laugh as I flag down the beer guy in the aisle, passing him the money before settling in to watch the race.

  A couple of minutes later, I am watching my girl kick ass on the track. She pushes her way through the pack of blockers to score the maximum number of points allowed after she pumps her hands on her hips to call off the race, or jam, as they refer to it. Sam rolls quickly to the team bench, removing the single star helmet cover and hands it to Lucy. The single star on the helmet shows who the lead jammer is. They are the only ones who can score for the team when they race.

  The race starts all over again as I continue to watch the derby girls round the track. I’m amazed I’ve picked up this much information on derby rules and terminology. If Sam hadn’t given me a cheat sheet one day, I wouldn’t know what the hell is going on right now, which is probably why Nick looks like a deer in the headlights.

  After taking a drink, Nick asks me, “Seriously, what did you drag me to? I can’t for the life of me figure out this shit. Other than a bunch of girls in short shorts rolling around a track getting pushed around and hitting walls, I have no idea what I’m watching.”

  “You and me both, man. I have the basic info. Other than that, I’m just as lost as you.” I take another sip of my beer, and my eyes narrow in on a fixture lurking in the dark corner far away from the track. I nudge Nick with my elbow and push my chin in the direction I’m looking. “What do you make of that?” I ask.

  His mouth narrows as he checks out the same figure I see. He shrugs his shoulders, shaking his head. “No idea. You want to go check it out? We’re out of our jurisdiction down here in Boston, but when has that ever stopped us from acting like cops?”

  “Nah, it’s probably nothing, and Sam will get pissed if I miss any of her race. Right now, things are good with us, so I’d like to keep it that way,” I state before taking another glance toward the dark corner. Whoever it was standing there is now gone.

  For the next hour, I watch my girl roll around the track, push girls out of her way, get thrown to the ground, and score the most points to get named MVP. The minute her race is over, Nick and I are trackside as she
rolls over to me. I grab her sweaty ass and pull her in for a kiss. “So, Sweet Cheeks, what do you want to do now to celebrate the big win?”

  “I want an ice cold beer, a really hot shower, and a neck massage!” she shouts over the crowd.

  “I’m pretty sure all of that can be arranged at a price.” I wink at her.

  “Oh, really? And, how much will all that cost me?” she asks as she throws her hand on her hip.

  “I think we both know how you can repay me,” I imply as I try to move in for a kiss. Sam’s faster, though, and rolls out of my reach.

  “Not so fast, big guy. You forget I’m the MVP. Tonight is my night, and I shouldn’t have to pay for anything,” Sam says while twirling her helmet in her hand.

  “We’ll see about that, sugar. I don’t usually provide my services for free.”

  Weeks continue to fly by now that I’m back at work, and the derby season has officially begun. Josh fills in most of the between time, either at his house or mine. Sometimes, I have a hard time believing that it’s been almost three months since we ran into each other. It seems as though we’ve fallen into a routine these days, and everything has become second nature.

  The other day he had lunch with his family for his brother’s girlfriend Emily’s birthday. From what Josh told me, his family is planning a trip to Savannah, Georgia, the beginning of May, so his brother can propose and elope. I said there is no way that would ever work. Sure, she’ll say yes to the proposal, because from what I’ve heard about Emily from Courtney and Josh, she is his soul mate. But, to propose and already have a wedding planned without her knowing, well, that’s a whole different ballgame. I won’t lie; I can’t see her agreeing to it. I hope I’m wrong, because then the entire weekend Josh is away would almost seem like a waste.

  I know. I’m selfish. I can’t help it. I’ve grown attached to him.

  Cara and I are just about done closing up Vines. Josh and Nick didn’t have a chance to come by; apparently, they are having a guys’ night at their place. There’s some major NHL game on television they are going to watch.

  Cara is almost done restocking the wine in the fridge when she stands and tosses her rag onto the counter. “Hey, Sam, you know what we ought to do? We should surprise the guys and show up at their so-called guys’ night,” she proposes.

  “I don’t know, Cara. I feel like I impede on Josh’s spare time already. Showing up unannounced might be overdoing it,” I insinuate.

  Cara flashes me a look that says I’m full of shit. “Oh, c’mon, Sam. Josh stops in here unannounced all the time when you’re working. How is stopping by on the way home overdoing it?” I can’t come up with any reasonable answer fast enough as she overpowers me and tells me to grab my stuff because we are making a short detour on the way home. Something tells me she just wants another chance to flirt with Nick, but Cara is so indecisive when it comes to guys that she may have other reasons for this unscheduled visit.

  Once we close up the bar and find our cars, we drive to the guys’ townhouse. All the lights are blaring in the living room, and I can see a few unfamiliar faces from the street. Something tells me I should have called before we decided to swing by, but it’s too late now, since Cara has already made her way up the steps and is ringing the doorbell.

  “Cara, I have a bad feeling about this,” I reaffirm my doubts from earlier.

  A strange voice sounds from the other side of the door. When it swings open, we’re met with a set of eyes nearly identical to Josh’s. “Can I help you, ladies?” he asks as he looks at us suspiciously. Then, I hear Josh’s voice from the other room getting louder as he approaches.

  “Who’s at the door, Jeremy?” Josh goes silent, as he appears in the hall behind Jeremy, his brother, whom I haven’t met, even after all this time.

  “Oh, shit,” Josh says as he focuses on us standing in front of him.

  Cara pushes her way into the house with me close on her heels. I still don’t have a good feeling about this. Josh clearly isn’t happy about us showing up. Usually, he’s greeting me with open arms if I stop in alone, and he doesn’t have company. Right now, he seems agitated, which is totally not like him at all.

  Cara tosses her coat onto the hook before turning around to Jeremy. “So, who are you? And, why have I never met you?”

  Jeremy gives her an amused look. “I’m Josh’s brother, Jeremy, and you two would be?” he asks, pointing between Cara and me.

  “Well, I’m Cara. How is it you don’t know Sam?”

  “Cara!” Josh scolds as he paces around, still not making any physical contact with me or even making an effort to introduce me. Am I some big secret from the family? I mean, I’ve met Courtney and heard stories about everyone else, but Josh has never mentioned me actually meeting any of them yet.

  I’m at a crossroads as to how I ought to feel about this. Should I be pissed or sad? I don’t have time to process any of it because Cara chuckles before tilting her head to look into the living room, probably for Nick. Not seeing him, she looks back at Jeremy, who is still giving her a baffled look.

  “Who’s Sam?” Jeremy asks her, clearly confused.

  “You’re silly. Sam, you know, as in Josh’s girlfriend.” Cara points to me and laughs as she heads into the kitchen, grabbing a drink from the counter and finding Nick coming up from the basement with more beer.

  Josh stops abruptly to face Jeremy as I stand here silently, not knowing what to do. Do I introduce myself? Does Josh have reasons for not telling his brother about me? Fortunately for me, Jeremy is the one who speaks first, as he looks over at Josh.

  “Well, this just got interesting. Since when did you get a girlfriend?” Jeremy asks Josh.

  Josh finally steps over to stand behind me. “Sam, this is my brother, Jeremy. Jeremy, this is my girlfriend, Sam Daley.”

  Jeremy’s eyes enlarge with excitement. “It’s nice to meet you, Sam.” He reaches out to shake my hand before turning his attention back to his brother. “Dude, how long have you been keeping her a secret? When Mom finds out, she’s going to eat you alive!”

  Josh pulls me closer as he wraps his arms around my waist from behind me, looking over at Jeremy. “Don’t feel bad. Courtney’s been keeping this a secret from her much longer.”

  “Josh, what the hell? Have you told anyone about us in your family besides Court?” My voice is shadowed with a hint of anger.

  Jeremy looks down at me with the biggest smirk on his face. “Well, Sam, I have a feeling we need to have you over to meet the rest of the family really soon. Our mother is going to have a field day when she meets you.”

  I tilt my head up to Josh. “Should I be scared?” I ask. Worry flashes across my face, not knowing if this is a good thing or a bad thing anymore.

  “Nah. Not unless you have any problem picking out china patterns by the end of the day.” Josh laughs.

  “What?! Seriously?” I wail.

  Josh moves to my side, so he’s between Jeremy and me. “If you don’t believe me, just ask this idiot. He’s the one letting our mom plan a surprise proposal and wedding in the same weekend.”

  I look to Jeremy for confirmation.

  “It’s true,” Jeremy says. “Mom and Emily have been inseparable since I brought Emily over to the house. Now, Mom’s taken over my entire surprise wedding weekend.”

  Josh looks over at me and grins. “See, this is why I’ve kept you away from my mother all this time, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.”

  I guess it’s time to meet the parents.

  Well, I have to say, Jeremy finding out about Sam the way he did wasn’t ideal. I really wasn’t sure how to introduce Sam to the family. All I know is I was hoping I didn’t have to introduce her before the wedding. Another part of me was still unsure of how Sam would react around Sue. So, today, a week later, I’m going out on a limb and hoping to stifle the situation a little bit between the two.

  I knew that only Mom and Dad would be at their house this afternoon. When I called t
hem yesterday, I told them it was important for me to come by Monday afternoon. Mom seemed to be less concerned than Dad, but she was a little on edge with the big wedding weekend quickly approaching.

  Sam and I are now making the drive to my parents’ house. Her hands fidget awkwardly on her lap. I turn down the speakers, silencing Matt Nathanson and grab one of her hands, entwining my fingers with hers. Her eyes relax at my contact. “There’s no need to be nervous. It’s just Mom and Dad.”

  “You say that as though it’s just something you do every day. Josh, you haven’t brought any girl home to meet them in years, and to top it off, you haven’t even told them you were bringing me over today.”

  I inhale a deep breath as we continue to drive along the back roads where hints of spring are starting to show. I pull into the driveway of the two-story Cape-style home in which I grew up. It’s now or never. I can only hope this goes well. Jeremy is going to keep Emily away from the house for the night with Sue and Dave while they go to dinner and a movie. Courtney had one of her evening cooking classes, so I knew it would just be us four for the night. I glance over at Sam, who is taking in the house in front of her, and ask, “Ready?”

  “Am I ready to meet the parents of the guy I’ve been dating for over two months who hasn’t once mentioned me? Absolutely!” she says with sarcasm clearly directed toward me.

  “I know. I know. I’m sorry, but it’s not as though I was hiding you because of embarrassment. I just wasn’t sure when I could finally handle what I know my mom is going to do once you step through those doors,” I say as I grab the door handle to get out of the car.

  Sam gets out of the car, and we meet on her side to grab the bouquet of colorful flowers and food we brought over for dessert. She made sure her purse was stocked with at least a full bag of candy to help with her nerves. She’s already eaten about half of the bag on the way over here.

  Sam hands me the apple pie from the backseat as she grabs the bottle of wine she brought as well. She shuts the door, and we start walking toward the house as she responds, “I don’t know if I want to hit you or run from you.” She pauses.” What am I walking into in there?”