Hotbox

by Delia Delaney

  “Do you know that she didn’t even cancel the wedding until the day before because she hoped that you would miraculously show up?” he continued. “People think she’s crazy. Do you know that she’s gone home from work three or four times? Because she can’t hold it together and she just breaks down right there in the office? She missed, like, a week of work after you left. She’s even been to the doctor a couple of times. I’m not sure for what, but something’s going on that she won’t talk to anyone about. I’m really worried about her, Ty. Do you know what it’s like for us to watch all of this happen?”

  If it were half of what I felt myself…then yes, I understood completely.

  “I’m sorry it’s been so difficult for you,” I replied sarcastically, and he rolled his eyes and made an impatient sigh in response. “But please just give it some more time, okay? Give me some time to at least try to fix this.”

  “I still don’t understand why you just can’t see her, tell her what you just told me.”

  I didn’t know how much of this I could take. “How’s her dad doing?” I asked. “Anyone take another shot at him since I left?”

  He stared at me with wide eyes.

  “Have her tires been slashed lately, or any known rapists knock on her door?”

  He didn’t even try to hide the shock and his mouth hung open.

  “This isn’t about covering my ass, Matt, it’s about keeping people safe. Those are just minor incidents—warnings, I should say—but the worst will come if I even come near her.”

  “Go to the police! She’s like a sister to me, Ty. If she’s in danger, somebody’s gotta know!”

  “She’s safe because I left. Going to the police would be the biggest mistake yet. This has to do with me, not her.”

  “Talk to Joe. Ty, I’m sure he could help—”

  I cut him off with my bitter laugh, but I was borderline hysterical. “You need to just let this go, okay? Give me some more time. Matt, please don’t make me regret telling you what I’ve told you. I shouldn’t have said anything at all, but honestly, I just don’t have anything left of me. As long as I stay out of the way things are gonna be fine—”

  “Except for Jayden. She’d rather her life be in danger just to be with you again. You know how she is—”

  “Exactly! She’s a very passionate person and she doesn’t think logically sometimes. I’m doing this to look out for her, and I’ll hurt you myself if you mess this up!”

  He glared at me with the challenge, but after a few moments, seemed to relent with a scoff. “Fine, Ty, but you have to call me once in a while. You can’t just disappear and become nonexistent.”

  I considered it for a moment and replied, “Fine.” I didn’t really know if I was being honest or not, but I had to agree so he’d do what I asked. The weird part was that I knew he would, as hard as it might be for him, but I guess I wanted to show him that I appreciated how much he cared.

  After an uncomfortable minute of silence, Matt stepped up to me, gave me a quick hug with a rough pat on the back, and mumbled, “See ya, Ty.” He left without turning back.

  With a heavy sigh I gathered my belongings and headed out a few minutes later. What I shared with Matt was already haunting me, and I was scared to death that I’d made the biggest mistake ever. It was a moment of weakness, a need to be close to my friends again, and I knew I would continue to regret it.

  My father had returned from a tow call and was getting out of the truck when Matt was taking off out of the parking lot. He gave me a worried look and asked, “Who was that?”

  “Matt,” I replied, realizing how sad my voice sounded out loud.

  My dad knew of Matt, but understood that I didn’t want to talk about it just then. I told him I’d see him at home as I headed out in my truck.

  Life didn’t change much after that, nor did I expect it to. For another month I continued my same old routines, mainly working myself to near death. Kent liked me a lot and I ended up making him a lot of money. I’d gained the trust of many customers over the past few months and business had actually picked up for him. My dad was pretty proud of me and praised me beyond my care, claiming that I was ten times the mechanic he was.

  I took on a huge project from a very prominent man in the area and began restoring a Boss 429 Mustang. I put so much time and effort into it, I finished the car faster than I ever imagined. It also impressed the owner, and I received a very generous bonus for my work. A week after its completion he brought me another project that belonged to a friend of his, and the result was much the same. It was an empty life though, and many times I found myself reliving my past with Jayden as I worked, just to put myself into another existence.

  Other times I used information that I received from Kenny to form a plan. I discussed many things with my father—he being the only other person on this earth I could confide in—and I took his critique and analysis very seriously. In that time I had received a phone call from Olevsky himself. I was a little shocked, even realizing that he was still out of the country, but I was pretty nervous to hear from him. I was hoping for some good news, particularly that I could resume my life with Jayden.

  “I’m sorry Tyler, but we’re not to that point yet.”

  I was sick and tired of his sympathy, sincere or otherwise.

  “Just give it some more time,” he added. Something in the way he said it gave me a very uneasy feeling.

  “This is never going to end, is it? You guys are just stringing me along to keep me pacified so I don’t do anything to foil your business plans. I’m right, aren’t I? Dean has no intention for this to be over, and you just wanna get your brother over here, so you don’t even care what happens to the rest of us.”

  I closed my eyes and took a deep, silent breath. I couldn’t believe that I’d said that out loud.

  After a short pause he replied, “Oh, so you know of Ivan, do you?” His voice was calm and collect, but I was sure he was sharpening his knives on the other end of the line. “And how might you have come about that knowledge?”

  I scrambled for what I should say. There was no way I would ever snitch on Kenny. But then the thought hit me: Kenny wasn’t even the one that told me.

  “Dean,” I informed him. “The night he threatened to sic ‘Little Lars’ on Jayden.”

  It was deathly quiet on the other end. “He had Lars with him?” he asked evenly.

  “In the vicinity. I was forced to sit there and watch him come near her house, all the while Dean and Dax were laughing their butts off.”

  There was silence again. “I do apologize, Tyler,” he finally said. “I’m very sorry—”

  “Yeah, well I’m sick of all these games. I have half a mind to just—”

  “Tyler, you’d better think before you speak.” After a long pause he sighed. “Are you still staying with your father?”

  “Yes.”

  He took another long pause. “Tyler, I’d like for you to come to Russia.”

  “Uh… What?”

  “Yes, I’d like for you to come to Russia for a little while.”

  “What- why?” I stammered. “I’m- I’m not leaving the country, I’m not leaving Jayden—”

  “Tyler, there are some things I want to talk to you about, and I can’t do it over the phone. I’d like for you to come to Russia and stay with me for a bit—just a week or two. I promise it will be worth your time.”

  I was speechless. What the hell was in Russia? “I’m sorry, but I have a job here, and I don’t even have a passport—”

  “Yes, you have a passport. It can be delivered to your house within the hour, along with your travel itinerary. You just need to sign and climb into the car to catch your flight.”

  I was shaking my head. “I’m not coming to Russia. Finish up what you need to so I can get on with my life. There’s no way I’m leaving this state, let alone the country.”

  “If you want to get on with your life, then you will come to Russia. I promise you this is the first ste
p.”

  It was very disturbing that I was beginning to believe him, but the obscurity of the situation was still tripping me up. “I’ll come,” I finally said. “If I can see Jayden first.”

  “Absolutely not,” he replied almost immediately. “You still need to refrain from seeing her, Tyler.”

  “Then can I call her?”

  “No,” he answered, just as quickly. “If you want to keep every hair on her head safe and sound, you’d better do as I say.”

  “What the hell is going on?” I exclaimed. It seemed to be the question surrounding my life.

  “Come to Russia and you will understand,” he said firmly. “It’s not something I can explain over the phone.”

  “I can’t just leave Jayden. I need to stay nearby, just in case… I don’t know. Just in case.”

  “Nothing is going to change with Jayden. She is safe, I guarantee it.”

  “Somehow I don’t feel any better. As long as Conlon and Merrick are in my life, I can’t believe she’ll be safe. And I’ve heard things… She’s not doing good.”

  Was it a mistake to admit I knew that? I didn’t know, but I hadn’t been given any instructions about not communicating with other friends. I only automatically refrained from it because of my fear.

  “Here is what I suggest. Why don’t you take a week to think about it? I will call you in—”

  “Why can’t you come here?” I suddenly asked. The question had been lurking in the back of my mind, but it finally formed itself into a complete thought.

  “It is not safe for me. There are people…looking for me. I cannot return until I know they have been handled properly. I need to be here, taking care of some items of business, and then I will return as soon as I can.”

  “So these people looking for you… Are they enemies to your organization? What do they want?”

  “These questions can be answered when you come to Russia.”

  I groaned. I couldn’t just pack up and leave the country. What about Jayden? I wasn’t exactly in the position to watch over her night and day, but at least I was only a couple hours away. Just in case.

  “I can have Mr. Ross look out for Jayden if you would like,” he continued. “She lives on her own now.”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “She moved out of her father’s house and now she is renting her own home.”

  That really set off my nerves. With everything going on, she was living by herself?

  “Tyler, I know what you’re thinking, but I promised she would be safe and she is. We have nothing against Jayden Adams as long as you stay away from her. We just couldn’t afford the risk. She’s fine now. Trust me.”

  I scoffed. Why did hearing that phrase give me mixed feelings? But Kenny had also said she was okay, and since Dean was out of the country, I felt a bit of reassurance. “Fine,” I answered.

  “Okay, then. So will you come to Russia?”

  “No.” I just couldn’t leave.

  He sighed. “Very well. But if you change your mind, let me know when I call in another week. I do believe you should come. It will…change your life.”

  I did spend the week thinking over my options. I even mulled over all of it with my dad. He turned very dark when I mentioned Russia, but he didn’t exactly advise me against it. I was waiting for something inside me to supply me with the answer. I didn’t feel that going to Russia was a bad idea, especially if it was going to give me some answers, but I also didn’t think it was a good idea either. Leaving the states was a little out of my comfort zone, particularly when I didn’t know if it was going to help the situation at all.

  I wished I could be given all the right answers.

  Chapter Forty-One

  My father and I sat in the kitchen one night eating dinner. We had actually been talking about religion, of all things. I was telling him about the churches I’d been to with Jayden and what I thought of them. My dad had actually been attending a specific church regularly, and he said it had played a large part in his recovery and getting his life back together. He shared that he always thought Jayden had such a sweet, spiritual side to her. It made me think of Matt’s comment about how angelic Jayden was. I shared the thought with my father and he smiled.

  “Yeah, she is an angel. But Tyler…you’re no devil. You’re a good kid. Just remember that.”

  I shrugged. “She was always talking about…feeling good about things, and knowing it’s right because it feels right. I wish I had just an ounce of her faith.”

  What my dad said next surprised me. “Maybe you are receiving answers but you just haven’t recognized them yet.”

  I tipped my head in thought. “Well, I felt that being with Jayden was right. Maybe I was just lovesick, but whenever I took the time to really think about it—really evaluate my feelings for her and decide if I was even good enough for her—I always got the same answer: she was the one. Now, because of everything that’s happened, I just can’t get that feeling back anymore. I feel like I’ve ruined her life.”

  “Well,” my dad shrugged, “maybe she was right at the time. Or maybe you’ve just lost a little faith. When adversity strikes, we question everything. Things change—unfortunately some good things come to an end—but I think life is sometimes about separating what we want from what is really meant for us. It takes some pondering—and sometimes a lot of patience—to figure that out.”

  I raised an eyebrow at him. “Since when did you get so philosophical?”

  He laughed. “Since I realized I was a drunken bum. It’s amazing some of the things you miss out on when your mind is boggled with garbage. But Ty, you have an incredible spirit to you as well. I just can’t see God overlooking you at a time like this, you know? I think… Well, I believe that you’re destined for something great, and we just need to get you through this rough patch and things will look up. I really do feel that’s true.”

  That did make me feel better, and I felt like my faith did grow a little.

  But… April came around. And I think the combination of missing baseball and agonizing over all the memorable moments of the last April with Jayden really got me into a depression. Baseball, the first time I saw her, our first date, our first kiss. The memories were overwhelming, and I could only imagine what memories the summer months were going to bring. In fact, I was hurting so badly by the beginning of May, I took off from work at noon and headed down south. I left my truck for my father and took his car instead. I had no idea what I was doing, but all I knew was that I needed to see her..

  Once in town, I drove a few places first—past her father’s house, past my old house, by the college and the ball fields, even past the Davis’s house. Then I parked in the diner parking lot across from City Hall and the police department. I expected to notice when she came out, and I was even going to follow her to see where she now lived.

  I felt like a stalker.

  But at five-fifteen, when she came out those doors, I almost died. I can’t even describe how it felt to see her. I wasn’t prepared for how badly it would affect me, and every ounce of me ached to be with her. I wanted to jump out of the car, drop to my knees in the middle of the sidewalk, and beg for her to take me back. It was probably a good thing that I was so affected from seeing her and couldn’t even move.

  Instead of hanging a left to head for the parking lot, she aimed straight ahead for the diner. My heart began to thump excessively, even though she wasn’t heading directly toward me, but she was still coming closer in proximity. Man, she was beautiful, so beautiful. I let the lump form in my throat as I watched her enter the diner.

  My phone rang and it made me jump. I was just going to let it ring, but I knew it would be a big mistake to ignore him. I was even sure he knew where I was, but I was so delirious at the moment, I didn’t even care.

  “Tyler…” he said slowly, letting me know that he was disappointed in me.

  “I just needed to see her,” I replied weakly. Just the sight of her had broken me all ove
r again. I’m not sure what I thought it was going to accomplish.

  “You need to leave right this instant.” When I didn’t respond he sighed. “Tyler, I know how hard this is for you. There will come a time, I promise. Right now you can’t be seen near her.”

  “Watching her isn’t going to hurt anything.” Just my fragile heart, I thought.

  “Tyler.” This time he was upset, and although he never raised his voice, just the tone was smothered with warning. “You’re making this really difficult to protect her. Isn’t that what we’re trying to do here?”

  I laughed with resentment. “Yeah, because of some stupid reason I still don’t understand! I hope Dean is everything you’ve dreamed him to be because I’d like nothing more than to put a bullet in him myself.”

  He actually laughed. “Soon this will all be over and everyone can go their own ways.”

  “Just let me be miserable in peace, okay?”

  My attention was redirected when Jayden exited the diner. In her hand was a white plastic bag carrying her food, and she crossed the street again to her car. It was then that she turned just slightly, and the sight of her face broke me once more. Even from a distance I saw it; the familiar crease between her brows that gave away her worry. She offered a brief smile and wave to someone else in the parking lot, but the forced pleasantry quickly disappeared as she got into her car.

  I almost forgot about the phone that was now in my lap until I heard the voice once more. “Oh, uh, what?” I mumbled.

  “Tyler, go home. You’re being irrational.”

  When she had driven a block away, I pulled onto the street after her.

  “Just return home and we’ll talk about this, okay? We’ll talk about how we can fix this. Tyler?”

  I was listening, but I was more intent on following her car without being noticed. “Fix this? Now I have your attention? I do something completely desperate and now you want to help fix this? Or is it just a ploy to get me to do what you say? Then when I’ve behaved like a good little boy, you find some other way to manipulate the situation. I’m sick of this cycle. I’m sick of promises that have no meaning.” I was so ticked I nearly missed which street she turned down, but I quickly caught site of her again and took a deep breath to calm myself down. “I can’t talk and drive at the same time,” I growled, and I hung up the phone.