The Improbable

by Tiara James

  I sighed and went back to staring out the window. “I don’t know if I can.”

  My friends were silent, each probably pondering the situation I was in and still processing the information I had just dropped on them. “You know, you’re very lucky Eva.” Rita said in her soft voice.

  I couldn’t help but snort. “Please explain to me, how I’m lucky in the midst of this madness Rita.”

  “You’ve experienced love! That’s something that comes around once, and if you’re lucky, twice in a lifetime. You can’t just let it go, you have to fight to keep it.” She answered.

  The more I thought about it, the more terrified I grew. Exposing myself – and my family – to David. How would he react? Would he hate me? What would he think? That was a big risk to take. But then I had to wonder: would I rather be married to Ray and be in a mental prison the rest of my life, regretting not fighting harder for David and I’s relationship? Or would I rather expose myself completely to the man I was in love with and risk our love being reduced to hatred and resulting in me being in physical prison. I had to face it, either way I went I was going to some type of prison. But which did I prefer?

  Later that evening, I heard my parents arrive. I was glad to have them home, in fear of falling asleep in an empty house. I had spent plenty of time trying to figure out what I should do and I decided that it would be best if I just left David alone and tried life out with Ray. David and I had a good run, yes, however I wanted to leave things as I did – with him believing that I was just upset over him lying to me. It was far better than having him hate me for who I really was: the daughter and defender of a Chicago drug lord.

  I slipped on my nightgown and tiptoed out of my room and leaned on the banister so I could eavesdrop on my parents. I looked down on them as they sat on the couch in the living room, holding each other. They didn’t speak, they just held each other. I made my way down the stairs and into the living room, sitting on the couch adjacent to them.

  “Hi mama, hi daddy.” I greeted them in a quiet voice.

  “Hey baby, we thought you’d be asleep by now.” Daddy forced a smile.

  I shook my head. “Hard to sleep with so much on my mind.”

  “It’s been a tough past few days, darlin’, we know.” Mama sighed.

  “That it has,” I said looking down at my fingers in my lap. “But I wanted to let y’all know something.”

  “What’s that baby?” Daddy looked at me with questioning eyes.

  I sighed. “I don’t want y’all to think that you’ve let me down in any way. You guys have done your absolute best to give me a normal life and have exceeded my expectations. The life we live isn’t perfect, I know, but I wouldn’t have rather grown up in any other way than the way I was raised. You guys are my parents, I don’t want to see anything happen to you just like you don’t want to see anything happen to me. So I don’t want you to worry about Ray and I. I’ll be fine, and if it means that we’ll all be safe and will still be able to see each other then I’m not complaining one bit. I’ve been thinking about it and that’s my decision, to be with Ray.”

  I watched as my parents’ faces processed what I was telling them. Mama broke out into a smile and Daddy nodded slowly, looking as if he was still understanding what I was saying.

  “You mean it, darlin’?” Mama asked.

  I nodded. I joined them on the couch and sat on my daddy’s lap, giving him a kiss on the cheek and hugging him. “I’ll be just fine. Now are you gonna worry Daddy, even though I told you I’m alright?” I teased, pulling back to look at him.

  Daddy chuckled through his nose and shook his head. “Baby I’m your father, it’s my job to worry! But if you’re saying you’re fine…then I trust you.”

  “We had something to tell you as well, honey.” Mama chirped up.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “Should you tell her Percy, or should I?” Mama asked excitedly.

  “I’ll take the pleasure in telling you…that the mess is over.” Daddy announced. “We shut down the Trioxytin production as of today. We’re keeping Ace Cigars running, but the warehouse level is shut down.”

  Mama clapped her hands excitedly.

  “What!” I jumped up off Daddy’s lap, ecstatic.

  “Put a few people out of work, but it is shut down nonetheless.” Daddy smiled genuinely. “We couldn’t put you through this any longer, baby. We were beginning to tear at the seams and we didn’t want our family falling apart.”

  “Does that mean I don’t have to leave town?” I asked, eager to know.

  Mama shook her head, “Nope, but we’ll need to keep Ray around for a little while until we clear everything out of the factory. That way they’ll have no evidence against us.”

  “Oh this is unreal!” I exclaimed, leaning down to give both of them hugs. “Thank you both so much! I love you guys.”

  “And we love you more than life itself, baby. There’s nothing in the world we wouldn’t do for you.” Daddy kissed me on the cheek.

  My spirits were entirely lifted; I had nothing to hide anymore! I no longer had to leave town, I was no longer bound to that bastard Ray, and I could live freely! My parents had gifted me with the ultimate present of freedom and I couldn’t thank them enough for that. David! Maybe I would give him some time due to the fact that I had broken his heart…but it filled me with joy even to know that he was an option once again.

  26. Tips

  Things didn’t seem as if they were going to improve. However, even I knew I had to suck it up like the grown man I was and return back to work. Everyone’s attitudes toward me when I entered the station were all the same...

  “I’m so sorry for your loss.” They would say.

  “If you need me I’m here for you.”

  “Tell me if you need anything.”

  All I could do was nod my head with my lips pressed into a firm line. I didn’t want to hear it. Well, maybe I did…but not from them. I wanted to hear those comforting words from Eva because she was the only one I wanted to talk to in such a time of grief. Imagining her unique, soothing voice and small, soft hands on my skin and in my hair was enough to give me the amount of courage I needed to deal with the day. I still wondered when I would see her again. Oh my love…

  Sighing, I pushed through the door of my office and immediately plopped down in my seat. I leaned back and clasped my hands on my forehead, staring at the ceiling. End this case now, a vengeful voice in my mind evilly growled at me. Even though Nicholas Brandy had been murdered, I still didn’t feel as if Chris had gotten justice. I wanted to bring all of the Trioxytin production and all who were involved in it, down! I wanted to eradicate the drug and the producer from the state of Illinois and never hear of it again! What was wrong with me? Why hadn’t I solved the fucking case yet? Anger built up inside of me and eventually overflowed, causing me to spring out of my chair.

  I tore through the drawers of my desk, pulling out any files and any pictures that could lead me in the right direction! Nicholas had said I was so stupid and that the answer was right under my nose, but where! I ripped through the photos of the bodies and went back and forth from the evidence board in my office to the files on my desk and I still couldn’t find a damn thing! Out of frustration I threw the last folder across the room, papers flying everywhere.

  “Fuck!” I shouted at the walls, angry and out of breath.

  After a few moments of heavy breathing, I noticed I wasn’t alone in the room anymore. My eyes glanced up quickly to see my father standing, watching me with the door closed behind him. His mouth was set in a straight line, his head was cocked to the side, and his eyes were sad. My father’s eyes were sad. I was ashamed to have him see me in such a way, I didn’t want him to know what the stress between the case, the loss of the love of my life, and my best friend’s death was doing to me. I ran my hands through my hair anxiously, trying to pull myself together even though I was hurting so bad.

  “I’m sorry,” I nearly whispe
red.

  My father shook his head and sighed. “No son, I’m sorry.” He gestured for me to have a seat.

  “Sorry for what, Pop?” I looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed.

  My father walked to the window and gazed down on the streets. “Christopher’s father and I got the chance to speak last night.” He paused. “Our conversation put a lot of things into perspective, making me realize plenty of things I’ve been overlooking for the past few years.”

  I wasn’t too sure where he was headed with the conversation. “Things like what?” I asked.

  “How drastically life can change at any moment, how…terribly bad our relationship has gotten, and how I miss your mother more and more every day.” He lowered his head and his eyebrows came together.

  I stared at him, not saying anything. I wasn’t too sure of what to say! My mind was in awe that he was talking to me about something deeper than my work.

  He clasped his hands behind his back and cleared his throat. “David, after your mom died…I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to live, I didn’t know how to function, I…I didn’t know how to cope. It made me such a hard person to the point where I didn’t even know how to parent you. All I knew how to do was push you…I just pushed you into things I wanted you to do. Never once did I stop and ask if you were happy.” Pop looked back at me and slowly shook his head. “In the wake of Christopher’s death it made me realize that either one of us could go at any moment…and I would never want either of us to go without you, my only son, knowing how incredibly and deeply sorry I am for letting all of those years go by. I’m so sorry son.” He lowered his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.

  I hadn’t expected to have such a heavy conversation with Warren when I had first walked into work, but it was the conversation I had been waiting years for! Instinctively, I left my seat and crossed the office to embrace my father in a hug. My heartache improved only slightly, but any improvement from the past few days was more than welcome. “Pop, we all make mistakes. But you’re my father, and I love you. I forgive you.” I said into his shoulder.

  He pulled back, a smile on his face. A genuine, eye-crinkling, father-loves-his-son, smile! “You don’t know how much that means to me, son. Another thing I should apologize for –”

  I put my hand up. “That apology was all I needed, Pop.”

  My father shook his head. “No, I think you want to hear this one.”

  “What’re you talkin’ about?” My eyebrows came together.

  “The night of the fair, I saw you long before I ran into you…I watched you. I watched you and the way you looked at that girl…what was her name?”

  My shoulders sagged and I slowly sank down into my seat. “Eva-Marie.” I sighed.

  “Ah, yes, her. I saw the way something just lit up inside of you when you saw Eva-Marie. I used to look at your mother the very same way.” My father made eye contact with me. “I’m so sorry for bringing an end to something that made you so genuinely happy.” He shook his head. “Don’t let that go, there’s a special bond between you two and I’m so sorry for destroying it.”

  I ran my hand through my hair and tried to busy myself by cleaning my desk. “It’s no problem, Pop. But I think it’s too late to save that relationship.”

  “It’s never too late, son.” Pop pursed his lips.

  I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting ready to open that door yet.

  “I’ve also been meaning to tell you that I am so very pleased with the work you and Clayton have been doing. The case will be over sooner than you know it.” My father promised.

  Ah! When he brought up Clayton I remembered I had to break the news to him that I wanted Clayton to receive the position as chief instead of myself. “Oh, Pop, that was one thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “What’s going on, son?” He asked.

  Right before I could explain, my office phone began to ring. “Officer David O’Neil.” I answered.

  “They…they put me out of work.” A man’s hopeless voice came over the line.

  I didn’t have time for his unemployment. “Sir, if you could please call me back when you have an actual –” I cut myself off, remembering my position. Sighing and counting to three gave me the patience to deal with his irrelevant call. “Is there an emergency?”

  The man on the phone sounded as if he was paranoid and fidgety. “I want to submit an anonymous tip. I-I…I don’t want them to kill me.”

  My eyebrows raised and I leaned on the desk with what felt like a blood-hungry look in my eyes, suddenly completely interested in what he had to say. “It will be anonymous, they can’t hurt you. You just have to let me know what’s going on. Your secret is safe with me.”

  There was silence and then movement on his end of the line. “I used to work for them.” His whisper was quick.

  “For who?” I asked.

  The man sighed. “I used to make Trioxytin in a warehouse…but they’re shutting down production before they get caught.” It sounded as if the man had started weeping. “How am I supposed to feed my bloody family!”

  “Sir, I need you to calm down. You’ll find work, I promise you.” I assured him. “I just need you to tell me where this warehouse is so I can confirm that you aren’t making any of this up.” I began to get a pen and paper, writing down everything he had said. My whole body was on fire! I knew that if he was telling the truth then all of the Trio mess would be over and the bastards would get what they deserved! I covered the mouthpiece and looked at my father, “Could you go tell Clayton we have another lead? Leaving in five.”

  My father smiled proudly and nodded, exiting my office.

  The man on the phone was sniffing and making strange noises. “Near the unpopulated end of the city, close to the lake. Lots of gates and open space, uh, uh, cigars. A company…Uh, what’d they call it?” He pondered for a few moments. “It’s below Ace Cigars!”

  I nodded, scribbling down everything. “I will check this out, thanks again sir.”

  “Mr. O’Neil,” The man called me before I hung up.

  “Yes, sir?” I answered.

  “I hope you kill those motherfuckers.”

  The line went dead.

  27. Almost

  I didn’t feel much like myself in my black long sleeve turtle neck, black cropped pants, and black sling-backs. I wasn’t even sure why I had chosen to wear so much black, everyone that knew me knew that I loved my colors and dresses! Then I peaked out the window and up at the gloomy gray sky and remembered what had inspired me to dress in such a way. Though the weather was dreary, my mood was the complete opposite!

  I was elated as I ended the day at Ace Cigars. Daddy had given me the ‘ok’ to send the rest of the employees home early so I could escape to a celebration dinner with my girlfriends. I had told the girls that my parents were bringing an end to the drug production and of course they saw it as a reason to celebrate. I looked down at my watch and cursed, seeing it was already a quarter ‘til six and we had reservations at six-fifteen! All I had left to do was lockup. I quickly grabbed the keys and headed for the freight elevator.

  My heart overflowed with joy when I reached the bottom floor to find it nearly empty. There was nothing to hide anymore, no more burdens! Daddy’s team had been in and out of the warehouse all day, eliminating the boxes of evidence and tidying up the place. They hadn’t finished but they were making great progress! I smiled to myself as I crossed the floor and locked the industrial sliding doors. The sound of slowly crunching gravel outside was enough to make my heart jump but faint enough to where I laughed at myself and shook my head. I hopped on the elevator back up to the main floor and locked the elevator doors behind me.

  The entire building was so silent that I could hear myself breathing and my shoes as I lightly crossed the floor. I truly wanted to rush through my routine lock-up so I could hurry up and leave, but I knew Daddy would have my head if I forgot to lock up an important door. I tugged the lock on the front door m
aking sure it was secure and proceeded to do so with the front office. Lastly, I took the stairs up to my father’s office. I grabbed the key on his desk and turned around to finally get out of there for the day.

  As I was walking to exit my father’s office I stopped short, startled by the sound of a closing car door in the back of the building. My eyebrows came together and I cocked my head to the side, confused. I knew all the employees had gone home and neither of my parents were scheduled to stop by that day. I slowly crossed the room of Daddy’s office to look out the back window. When I did so, my heart dropped to my stomach too many times to count and I covered my mouth with my hand. It couldn’t be.

  The scene was my worst nightmare. There in the back of Ace Cigars, three cop cars surrounded the back of the building! No matter how many times I blinked they just wouldn’t go away! I was not dreaming. My heartbeat picked up its pace in record time, heat prickled under my arms in panic, and my eyes were wider than the state of Texas!

  I hadn’t recognized any of the police officers, nor did I know what they were doing there in the first place. We had nothing to hide anymore, right? Shit! I cursed in my head as I remembered the items that were still left in the warehouse. I raced down the steps and unlocked the front office so I could see if there were any officers in the front of the building. I was out of breath as I slowly lifted one blind the slightest bit, just so I could see what was outside.

  No! No! No!!!!!

  There he stood outside of his police car, with his hands on his hips and the wind ruffling his perfect dark brown hair, and his lovely intense blue eyes squinted at the building. The love of my life. The heart I had broken. My David O’Neil. It felt as if someone had thrown a cement cinderblock into my chest. He wasn’t supposed to ever find out! I didn’t want him to know what horrible things I had been associated with! What would he think of me? Would he still love me? Did he still love me? My mind was at a loss! Everything was happening too fast! I held onto myself and collapsed on the floor, anxiously breathing.