The Improbable

by Tiara James

I did as I was told and stepped back so I wouldn’t interfere in their moment.

  “Daddy I was so scared! I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know they would be there I’m so sorry.” She said into her father’s shoulder.

  Percy kissed her on the forehead and hugged her tighter. “It’s okay. Everything’s alright there’s no need to apologize, baby. You’re going to be fine.”

  She pulled away and looked at him, her eyes landing on me for a second and then back to him. “What’s going on?”

  I averted my eyes to the floor, not wanting to be the one to disappoint her with the news.

  “Well, darlin’, we’ve got something we want to talk to ya about.” Mary said.

  “Have a seat, baby.” Percy led her back to the table and took a seat in front of her. “This is a nice man you’ve got right here.” He nodded his head in my direction. “I told him I’d never seen you so happy.”

  She barely cracked a smile.

  “So we made a deal.” Percy announced.

  Eva looked at me and back to her father. “What’s the deal daddy?”

  Percy sighed. “I told him he can take me…and leave you and your mama out of it. I would never let you two take the fall for anything I’ve brought you into. I don’t want any of this on you, I want it on me.”

  Immediately silent tears began falling down her cheek. She didn’t look at either of us, instead she stared down at the table and silently wiped her tears. My poor love, I crossed the room and began rubbing her shoulders. Even though Eva was probably irritated with me having to take her father away, I still wanted to be there for her.

  “You both agreed on this?” She looked at Mary.

  Mary nodded slowly.

  “David here is gonna take good care of you, and you’ll be able to visit from time to time. It won’t be that bad baby, okay?” He rubbed her hand.

  “Okay,” She said in a low voice and nodded. “Can I just spend some time with them before you take him away?” She looked up at me.

  “Anything you need,” I leaned down and kissed her on the head, nodding at Percy on my way out.

  The first place I went was directly to my office. I was completely overwhelmed. It didn’t feel like real life! Too much had happened within the last week for my body to process, it felt like I needed some time for my brain to play catch up. I plopped down at my desk and threw my head back, clasping my hands over my eyes. I had never seen Eva-Marie cry so much, I felt so bad for what she had to go through. Though I was ecstatic that I didn’t have to put her in jail and I would be able to be with her…freely. It felt good to think about. A knock on my door brought me back into reality.

  “Come in,” I answered.

  A rookie entered my office. “Chief wants to see you, sir.”

  I rose from my seat and followed him out. He took me into the elevator and down to the lobby. I was taken aback by the amount of people in the lobby. It looked like a makeshift ceremony. What was going on? I scanned the crowd for Clayton so I could apologize and figure out what was happening. No luck. I followed the rookie and stopped when he gestured for me to do so. Near a podium, my father stood with a microphone.

  “Are we all here?” He questioned with a smile on his face. “Great to see you all. I know this was pulled together very last minute and I thank you all for coming in. As you know, a few months back I announced to the station that I would be retiring.”

  Finally, I saw Clayton on the other side of the crowd. I wanted to make my way over to him but didn’t want to be rude to my father so I stayed where I was.

  “When I decided to retire, I had to think about who I would hand my position down to. There were plenty of people to choose from, so I assigned one of the biggest cases to the two people I would trust most in my position. For the past few months they worked tirelessly trying to shut down a drug that has been killing people in our community and today I am proud to say that they have closed the case!” Pop exclaimed and began clapping, the rest of the crowd following his lead with cheers.

  Shit! I hadn’t had the time to speak to my father about wanting to give the position to Clayton. There was absolutely no way I deserved that position over him; he worked all those long, hard years, he deserved it! I had to think of a way to get to my father quickly before he announced that he was giving me the position as Chief of Police, if I didn’t reach him I would feel like the biggest asshole of all time. I wouldn’t even feel right taking the position. I tried to go up and interrupt my father, but the rookie put his hand up and shook his head.

  “Not yet, he told me when to let you up there.” The rookie informed me.

  I really didn’t want to argue with him and embarrass my father but I had to get up there! “I know but I really need to –”

  “Oh, here he is now! The man that will be taking my position as Chief of Police is no one other than my very own son, please help me welcome Mr. David O’Neil.” My father signaled for me to come up.

  All I saw was the hurt and betrayal on Clayton’s face. He eyed my father with disgust and shook his head. Clayton snorted and put his hands on his hips, shaking his head and still eyeing my father as I made my way over.

  “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me!” Were the last words I heard before the sound of a gunshot banged throughout the lobby! Everyone had gotten down and the rookies restrained Clayton from shooting anyone else.

  “Take him to the cells, immediately! Immediately!” I instructed them. I frantically glanced around to see if anyone had been hit, my eyes doubling in size when I saw my father collapsed behind the podium. “Pop!” I went and kneeled by his side to see blood staining his clothes on the chest. It was a fatal gunshot wound and I knew it.

  “Somebody! We need an ambulance!” I called to anyone in the crowd. “You’re gonna be alright, Pop, you’re gonna be alright.” I told him, picking his head up off the floor. I desperately wanted to go and beat Clayton until he couldn’t see a damn thing! But even I knew that wouldn’t get my father out of the fatal situation he was in. I didn’t want to see it, but I had seen it with Nicholas Brandy and I knew what was happening. The life was slowly but surely flowing out of my father’s eyes.

  “No, Pop, hang on. We’re gonna get you some help. Don’t let go, we’re gonna get help.” I said to him, looking around and silently praying to God, asking to not lose both of my parents.

  A slight smile came to my father’s lips and his eyes looked out of it. “It might just be that time, son.” He managed to say.

  I shook my head. “No. No! Don’t you say that.” A hard lump began to form in my throat; I had just gotten back on good terms with my father and now he was being taken away from me! I couldn’t lose my mother and my father, I didn’t want to let that happen.

  “You’ve gotta let me go, son. You’re strong enough to handle this…and you’ve got someone to stay strong for…that young Eva of yours.” He smiled and coughed.

  “No…no, stop talking like that. You’re gonna make it!” Anguish took over my voice.

  “I can’t wait to tell your mom about you…I know she’s going to be so proud.” He reached up and grabbed my face, nodding.

  “Pop you can’t…” I said, knowing the end was near for him.

  “Can you just do one thing for me? Do what makes you happy, I’d give anything to see you as happy as the night of the fair. I just want you to be happy. I love you so much and I’m so proud of you, son, so proud.” He smiled, his eyes filling with tears but appearing overjoyed.

  I nodded. “I love you too,” I watched as he took his final breaths and the last bit of life left his eyes. “Say hi to Mom for me…I love you too.” I kissed his forehead and held onto him. I held back the tears, not ready to break down just yet. I just wanted to sit in my father’s presence in peace until the ambulance came.

  My best friend, gone.

  My love, someone I didn’t even know…

  My father, gone.

  Would I ever get out of hell?

  31. B
roken

  Everything was okay…

  I still had my best friends. I still had the love of my life. I still had one of two of my parents. I wasn’t in jail even though I should’ve been. However, everything just felt so…wrong. There was too much death in the air, and even though David’s father wasn’t fond of me I still felt for David’s loss. I hadn’t spoken to David and my dad was set to be processed officially into the jail soon. So maybe everything wasn’t okay! I knew I had to keep a brave face…

  “You almost ready dear?” Mama’s voice asked lightly outside of my room door.

  I was looking at myself in the mirror, deciding on any last minute changes to my outfit. For the past hour or so, I had been getting myself ready for Chris’s funeral. I knew my friends were waiting down in the living room but for some reason I couldn’t push myself to move any faster. “I’m coming,” I called over my shoulder.

  Mama cracked the door open and came in slowly. “You look wonderful…of course I wish it was under different circumstances, but you look beautiful nonetheless.” She smiled slightly.

  I nodded. “Thanks Mama,” I went and collected my purse off of my bed and made my way down the stairs to join my friends. I could barely look at Sarah’s face – I didn’t want to know the amount of pain she was going through. She and Chris had been on the verge of something beautiful and I couldn’t even imagine the pain of having it cut short. It was the same as thinking about losing David. I shuttered at the thought.

  “There you are,” Yvonne announced and stood once she saw me enter the living room. “We’ve been waiting.”

  “Sorry for the wait,” I apologized and rubbed Sarah’s back upon joining my group of friends.

  “Kate’s already there with Timmy and David.” Rita informed me.

  “Then let’s get a move on,” I sighed. It was clear none of us were in a rush to lay our friend to rest forever…my mind could barely wrap around the fact that I’d never see Chris’s jolly face again. “How are you doing?” I forced myself to ask Sarah.

  She nodded, “So far so good.”

  A slight grin made its way onto my face and I took her hand, pulling her up from the couch. “We’re here for you.” I linked my arm with hers as we made our way out to the car.

  The ride to the funeral home was fairly quiet. I wished Kate could’ve been in the car to lighten the mood but for once I didn’t think she would even try to cheer anyone up. I sighed, trying to rid myself of the heavy weight I felt on my chest but nothing helped.

  “David’s dad’s funeral was this morning.” Rita said.

  My heart broke for him. “I know this is so hard for him…two very important funerals in one day. It makes me so sad.” I shook my head and looked out the window.

  “At least he has someone like you who’s there for him, Eva.” Yvonne told me. “I know that has to mean a lot to him.”

  I smiled awkwardly, not sure if it was the right time to mention that I hadn’t talked to him in days. It definitely wasn’t the time for a conversation about relationship issues. But I couldn’t help but wonder…did that mean he didn’t want to talk to me? He didn’t want my support? Was I overthinking things? My mind contemplated endlessly until we pulled up to the funeral home.

  “We’re right behind you Sarah.” Rita rubbed Sarah’s shoulder before hopping out of the car.

  Everyone was still filing into the service when we arrived. It took a lot I had in me to not sprint inside and hug David until he grieved no more, but I knew I had to be polite and take my time going inside with the rest of the girls. When we entered the building, Kate found us immediately.

  “There y’all are,” She embraced us individually. “How’s everyone holdin’ up? Timmy’s only cried once, David is like a statue in there but I know this is hard for the both of ‘em.” Kate shook her head and sighed.

  “We’re doing pretty well,” I answered.

  “Good, I’ve got seats for y’all behind mine and Timmy’s row. I didn’t know how close you wanted to be…” She trailed off, eyeing Sarah who didn’t appear to be there mentally. Kate frowned with pity.

  “Anywhere is fine,” Yvonne assure her, pulling Sarah close.

  “Just follow me,” Kate instructed.

  People were still up viewing the body and I was thankful because I didn’t want to see it just yet. I sat behind David, who had made no moves to see who was entering in the row behind him. I reached up and rubbed him on the back and he finally turned around. His eyes were empty and he said nothing, only grabbed my hand on his shoulder and gave it a peck before turning back around and leaning forward on his knees.

  I sighed.

  After the funeral service, everyone gathered in the lobby to wait for the rain to stop pouring down outside. David and Timmy stayed back to speak with Chris’s parents. My friends and I huddled together, all out of tears to shed, keeping the conversation light to lift each other’s spirits. Even Sarah cracked a smile at a few of Kate’s jokes. Though our moods were lifting, I still wanted to speak to David! He’d been through a lot the past week and a half and I wanted to make sure he wasn’t ready to fly off the handle because he was overwhelmed.

  “Hey ladies,” Timmy joined our huddle.

  “How are you feeling?” Yvonne asked.

  Timmy shrugged. “It’s hard but it’s getting better. I think seeing the casket close was the reality for me. There’s nothing I can do about it, but we have some great memories and that’s what I’ll have of him in my heart.”

  I was confused. Where had David gone? He was just with Timmy! I looked around with furrowed eyebrows and back to Timmy. “Where’s David, Timmy? Wasn’t he just with you?”

  Timmy nodded. “After we spoke to the ‘rents, he wanted to head out. He may still be in his car.”

  Without another word, I pushed through the doors and before I knew it I was out in the pouring rain looking for David’s car. Once I saw the only car with the headlights on I knew I’d found him. He was sitting and staring aimlessly out the windshield. I opened the passenger door and slid in next to him. His eyes glanced over at me and then went back to staring out the window.

  Instinctively, the first thing I did was embrace him. I held on to him for a long while, just wishing I could soak up his pain…but even I had no more room for pain after losing my father to jail. I just wanted to do all that I could for him in his time of need. David rubbed my arm but didn’t hug me back. I didn’t need him to, as long as he knew that I was here for him. I leaned on his shoulder. “These days don’t get easier do they?” I rubbed his back. “I still believe everything is gonna be alright,” I whispered. “I’m here for you if you need me.”

  David took my hand in his and gave it a kiss. “Thanks, baby.”

  “Anytime,” I relaxed on his shoulder.

  David sat silent for a few moments before asking, “Do you remember when we went to go get ice cream?”

  I smiled to myself as I remembered the hours David and I had spent talking to each other. “Of course I do, I’d never forget. Why do you ask?”

  “I talked about life and how we were all meant to beat the odds.” He paused and looked down, “I’m beginning to think the odds against me have won.”

  I shook my head, “If that were the case you wouldn’t be here. If that were the case we wouldn’t still be together. But you are…and we are. The odds are still in your favor.”

  David’s lips set into a straight line “My life has just been…shattered by all that’s happened.”

  “With everything that’s happened and is still happening you’ve been so strong and I –”

  “Strong?” David snorted hopelessly.

  I pulled back to sit in the passenger seat, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows.

  “I’m not strong Eva…I’m tearing at the seams.” He looked over at me and shook his head. “I don’t get what kind of sick game God is playing – both my parents and one of my best friends? Why!”

  I pulled back from him and sighed. “
Well, I can’t tell you His reasoning. But I know that you are strong and you’re going to beat the grief, it’s not going to get the best of you this time.”

  “And how can you be so sure?” David questioned in a bleak tone.

  “Because I watched you overcome the grief of your mother.” I answered. I tilted my head to see David’s expression when he didn’t look at me. “David, can you look at me?”

  “Even that’s a hard thing to do…” He nearly whispered, looking down into his lap.

  My lips pressed into a straight line. “Why is that?”

  “I don’t want you to see me in this state… I just –”

  “Why not? I just want to be there for –”

  “I love you…but I just need some time, Eva.” David said.

  My heart beat sped up and my face began to get hot. “What do you mean?”

  “I need to get my head together…I need space.” He answered.

  “You don’t want to have me around?” I asked in a quiet voice.

  He turned to me and grabbed my face. “This doesn’t change how I feel about you, you already know that. This is just a lot for me to handle. Space is all I need. Can you give me that?”

  Reluctantly, I nodded my head quickly, wanting to get out of the car before I started crying like a little girl!

  He kissed me oh so gently on the forehead. “I’ll see you soon, I’ll be back around I promise. I love you, Eva-Marie.”

  “I love you too, David.” I mumbled before getting out the car. I stood and watched David drive off. My little heart couldn’t handle the emotional roller coaster it’d been on lately. How much time did he need to himself? Was I going to lose him to his grief like his friends had lost him years ago? It felt as if a cloud of loneliness was hanging over me as I stood in the rain, feeling lost all by myself in the parking lot.

  When I arrived at home I headed straight to my room. All I wanted to do was be alone and lay in my dark room, watching the rain fall down the window the same way the tears were falling down my cheeks. I entered my room and kicked my shoes off hastily. The weight of every bad situation and all the feelings of everything that had happened crashed into my chest at full speed. Sobbing, I placed my hand on my heart and slowly laid down on my bed. I felt crippled with pain.