SHIVER

by Tiffinie Helmer

  She stood and moved around the bed to stand in front of him. “I’m worried about you. I want you to be happy.”

  “Don’t tell me that you’ve turned into one of those women. The kind who finds love and then wants the same for everyone else?”

  The side of her mouth crooked up. “Seems that way. Hormones.” She shrugged. “Seriously, Aidan. I want the best for you.”

  He had to turn away from the emotion in her eyes as it caused his heart to ache. “I gotta go.”

  “Aidan.” The tone of her voice had him turning around, his hand on the doorknob. “I think with all that you’ve been through you believe you’re unlovable, and I just want you to know that you aren’t.”

  Aidan gave her one last look and then turned and left the room.

  Unlovable.

  Damn, the woman had nailed it. That was how he’d felt all his life. His mother had loved her next drink more than she had him. Earl never loved him, as he was a constant disappointment. Then there were Raven and Sonya. He’d never been good enough.

  Would he be good enough for Fox?

  The thought had him pausing on his way to the restaurant to see Pike. What kind of expectations did Fox have? Whatever they were, he was bound to let him down too. Maybe he should do what Raven wanted and leave them alone. After all, he’d let down everyone he had ever cared about.

  He entered the sparse restaurant and glanced around. The nature-seeking woman was sitting at a table with coffee and a map. She looked too old and used to be after anything other than comfort. A few other patrons he didn’t recognize were saddled up to the bar. The mosquito clock said nine. He was assuming it was nine in the evening and the dinner crowd was dwindling down. It was hard to tell with the sun rising later every day. Pike, Garrett, Lynx, and Peter were sharing a bowl of chips and salsa at a corner table. He pulled a chair from another table over and sat down.

  “We thought you were going to sleep all night,” Garrett said.

  “Had a lovely conversation with Sonya,” Aidan couldn’t help saying. Garrett Hunt always brought out the worst in him.

  Garrett’s gaze darkened for a minute, but he failed to take the bait. “While you were resting, we gathered a search party and looked for Roland.”

  “I take it you didn’t find him,” Aidan spoke the obvious. “He won’t be found unless he wants to be.”

  “We were hoping with the shape you were in that he might not be in top form himself.” Lynx smiled. “Guess you didn’t slow him down any.”

  Aidan let the dig slide. “Wherever he’s holed up, it can’t be far. He has to be close enough to keep tabs on Earl’s place.”

  “Come morning, we’ll head up into the hills,” Pike said.

  “I have a better idea.” Aidan leaned his elbows onto the table top. “Let’s find the gold, if there is any, and then burn the fucking cabin to the ground. That will take care of Roland. Either he’ll leave, empty-handed, or it will bring him running.”

  The four men shared a look. Lynx was the first to speak. “Can’t believe I didn’t think of that,” he mumbled.

  “So we’re decided?” Aidan stared at each of them. “Let’s meet out there at daylight. Bring whatever tools you think we need to bust the place wide open.”

  “All right,” Peter said all grins. “I’ve never been treasure-hunting before.”

  “I’d prefer it if you stayed here to protect the women in case Roland gets fired up over what we’re doing.”

  “Hey.” Peter scowled. “I’m not staying behind with the girls.”

  “I agree with Aidan. Roland could show up here looking for revenge,” Garrett added, meeting Aidan’s gaze with a knowing nod. Neither man wanted the kid in harm’s way. Besides, anything happened to Peter and Sonya would kill them both.

  “This sucks,” Peter grumbled. “I’m not a babysitter.”

  “Don’t let Sonya hear you talk like that,” Garrett said.

  Peter sat up straight, looking around the restaurant.

  “Besides, she hears what we are up to, and she’ll want to be a part of it,” Garrett said. “It’ll be up to you to watch out for her and Lana.”

  “Raven too,” Aidan added. “She’ll probably be in her studio, but anyone trying to get to her will have to pass by the lodge.”

  “Do I get a gun?” Peter mumbled, knowing he was being patronized.

  Pike quirked his lips. “There’s a shotgun under the bar if you need it.”

  “Woohoo.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  “What did you do?” Fox barreled into the studio, where Raven was attempting to work. She had orders piling up and couldn’t center a ball of clay to save her life.

  “Hello to you too,” she greeted, dreading the conversation to come. He’d obviously been to the lodge and seen Aidan. She wished he’d come home first so that she could have explained things to him. “How was Grand’s?”

  “How could you tell Dad to stay away?”

  “Fox—”

  “You’re ruining everything!” He threw his overnight bag onto the dusty floor.

  “Now listen.”

  “No.” He backed away, his eyes narrowed, furious. “It’s my choice if I want Dad in my life. Not yours.”

  “Fox!” she hollered after him as he scurried out of the room and slammed the door on his way back outside. “Shit.” She slammed the ball of clay down onto the wheel, and ran after him. He was outside hitching up his dogs to the sled. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “Somewhere I can think.”

  “You’re not running off mad.”

  “Yes I am. Dad told me when I feel like this to distance myself until I can calm down. And that’s what I’m doing. I can’t be around you right now.”

  Raven wrapped her arms around her as the pain of his words hit her like shards of broken pottery. She’d run out of the cabin without her coat and the icy air stole her breath. Physically, she couldn’t keep him from leaving. The kid was as tall as she was. She wanted to put him in time out like she had when he was younger. But then he was essentially doing that to himself. Except, rather than sitting on a stool in the kitchen, he’d be racing over frozen tundra. “Be careful. Please.”

  He didn’t respond, just methodically harnessed his excited dogs until he had the team in place. He commanded them to mush and didn’t look back.

  Raven ran back into the cabin and grabbed her coat. There would be no working in the studio today, not with her emotions all over the place, and her creativity in the toilet. A walk up to the lodge would do her good. Clear her head.

  She’d rerun everything in her mind last night when she couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she’d pictured making love with Aidan and how sweet and special being with him had been. The contrast to the man who’d shared her bed and the one who’d wailed on his uncle were so different it was hard to reconcile they were the same person.

  Raven entered the lodge, hung up her coat, and found Fiona and Gran in the kitchen making a mess of sandwiches. “Something going on?”

  “Lunches for the men,” Coho said, spreading mayo on homemade bread. “They’re treasure-hunting today.”

  “What?”

  Fiona pulled out cheese and deli meet from the fridge. “They’re planning on tearing Earl’s place apart, hoping to find what Aidan’s uncle has been after, and then burn down the place.”

  “Whose idea was this?”

  Gran gave her a meaningful look. “Who do you think?”

  Aidan.

  “But that was his home. Don’t you think it’s a bit drastic?”

  “Honey,” Fiona said. “That poor boy has no fond memories of the place. It will do him good to burn it to the ground.”

  But then he wouldn’t have a place to stay and he would leave. Wasn’t that what she wanted? The thought banged around inside her bruised heart like a steel ball in a pinball machine. “When are they leaving?”

  “Soon as the sun comes up.” Fiona glanced at the clock
. “Couple of hours. Pike had to run down his chainsaw he loaned out to Lynx who in turned loaned it to Bree.”

  “Where’s Chickadee?”

  “Her room,” Fiona said. “She’s supposed to be working on a term paper.”

  “Doubt that’s what she’s doing,” Gran added, slapping on slices of cheese to the assembly line of sandwiches on the counter. “Letting that girl have a computer in her room is a mistake. She’s twittering, or tweeting, something like that, with boys.”

  Fiona sighed and rolled her eyes behind Gran’s back. “If you’re going to see her, check to make sure she’s working on her paper?”

  “Sure.” Raven gave Gran and her mother one last look before leaving the kitchen. She felt out of the loop. Why hadn’t they asked her to help? But then she’d given up her claim to Aidan and therefore the opportunity to go treasure hunting. She walked down the hall, her heart thumping as she passed Aidan’s closed door, and continued around the corner to the block of family rooms. She knocked on Chickadee’s bedroom.

  “Just a minute,” Chickadee hollered. Raven heard a bunch of rustling before Chickadee opened the door, her face flushed. “Oh.” She glowered. “It’s you.”

  “I’m happy to see you too.” What was up with her? They’d always had a great relationship. Not sisterly, since there were so many years between them, but more like favorite aunt and niece. “Can I come in?”

  “Suit yourself.” Chickadee turned and made her way to her bed, climbing up on the spread and tucking her pajama-clad legs under her. She wore a soft tank under an unzipped hoodie and had left her dark, thick hair to flow down her back. The girl was growing up into a beautiful young woman. When had that happened?

  “What’s the matter?” Raven asked. When was the last time she’d talked with Chickadee? With all that had been happening with Aidan, she’d forgotten about her little sister.

  “Nothing.” Chickadee glanced off to the side as though she was bored with Raven.

  “School okay?”

  “Fine.”

  “How’s it going with that boy in Fairbanks?”

  “What do you want, Raven?”

  “Uh…” She physically took a step back from the insolence coming off Chickadee in waves. “What is with you? Why are you treating me like this?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I don’t know who the hell you are anymore?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Yeah, you should excuse yourself.” She huffed and folded her arms over her chest, a scowl on her face. “I can’t believe what you’re doing to Fox and Aidan.”

  Oh, boy. Raven fell into the plush purple chair next to the desk. “Dee—”

  “Don’t ‘Dee’ me. I was three when Dad died. I’d give anything to know him. Fox is just getting to know the father you kept from him all these years and then I overheard Aidan this morning telling him you think it’s best if they don’t see each other for a while. Why did you do it?”

  Raven took the verbal arrows one by one. “It’s complicated, Dee.”

  “No, it isn’t. You’re just making it that way. I don’t get you at all.”

  Silence added a chill to the room that had Raven wishing she hadn’t hung up her coat. She held back the ever-present tears and glanced around the room. Dragonflies she’d helped Chickadee paint years ago still flittering on the walls, alongside posters of Hoodie Allen and Taylor Swift.

  “Listen, Dee. I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I’m not proud of, but I’m trying to do the best thing for everyone here.”

  Chickadee flipped her long curtain of hair back over her shoulder. “Everyone? Seriously?” She had sarcasm down to an art form. Chickadee glanced at her nails and picked at her cuticles. “What did you come here for anyway?”

  Not to feel better about herself that was for sure. “I wanted to borrow Aidan’s graphic novels that Fox lent you.”

  “Why?” Chickadee glanced up, her scowl deepening.

  “I don’t know.” Raven shrugged. “I thought it might help me understand Aidan better, I guess.”

  “Whatever.” Chickadee got up from the bed and went to her desk, grabbing the pile of glossy, colorful novels stacked there. “Knock yourself out.”

  Aidan kissed Fiona and Coho on the cheek. “Thanks for making us lunches. That was very sweet of you.”

  “Naw,” Coho said. “Just our way of being a part of the treasure hunting since you won’t let us come with. Now go find that gold. Oh, and I’d like a nugget this size, if you don’t mind.” She held up her thumb and finger about two inches apart.

  Fiona rolled her eyes at Coho. “Be careful, Aidan. Lynx, I want you to watch out for him. You too, Garrett. He’s been through a lot and I don’t want him to over do or be hurt any worse than he already is.”

  “Yes, Mom,” Lynx said. “Can we go now?”

  Yes, can we? The day had already been excruciating. Fox had come to the lodge early and interrupted the treasure planning party, wanting to come along. For Fox’s safety, and to adhere to Raven’s wishes, Aidan had tried to put some distance between them. It had backfired.

  Pike entered the kitchen door from the cold outdoors. “What’s the hold up? Truck’s running. It’s not like the sun’s going to stay up all day.”

  Lynx grabbed the cooler full of food, and followed Pike out the door. Aidan and a very quiet Garrett followed. Aidan never thought he’d be doing anything with the fish cop. Funny how things changed. Maybe he should do what Sonya suggested and fight for Raven and Fox? He had a legal right to fight for Fox, not that he’d take him away from his mother, but he was the kid’s father and he wanted the chance to be there for him.

  They drove in silence to Earl’s. Well, at least Garrett and he were quiet. Lynx couldn’t seem to shut up. He was like a kid on his first fishing trip. Any minute now he was going to start bouncing in his seat.

  They passed Aidan’s rental where he’d left it about a mile up the road from Earl’s yeterday. The SUV was covered in a thick layer of frost, looking too frozen to start. It had reached minus forty below last night and his rental hadn’t been plugged in to an electrical outlet that would keep the engine from freezing. Chances were he was without a vehicle until he could get it jumped or towed. He didn’t want to be at the Maiski’s mercy anymore.

  They parked and exited Pike’s crew cab pickup, grabbing the tools and the cooler they’d brought from the lodge. Garrett carried a pickax with a pistol on his hip, Lynx the chainsaw and a crowbar, Pike a rifle and his forty-five, while Aidan got stuck with the purse-like cooler due to his injuries.

  “This is where you grew up?” Garrett asked with a lift of his brows. “And I thought your fish camp setup was bad.”

  “Earl liked living simply.”

  “This isn’t simple, it’s brutal.” He scoffed. “Explains a lot about you, I guess.”

  How did he argue that?

  Pike started down the lane, and Aidan called out to him, “Let me go first. Roland had set booby traps yesterday. I know what to look for.”

  “Crafty bastard,” Pike muttered under his breath as Aidan passed him to lead the crew to the back of the cabin.

  “Keep your eyes open,” Aidan instructed the group as they slowly walked down the path.

  Aidan didn’t find any trip wires or signs of mischief. They entered the cold-soaked cabin and found Roland in the living room.

  Dead on the floor, a knife sticking out of his chest.

  “Well…this I didn’t expect,” Pike said, holstering his forty-five.

  Aidan looked at Garrett. “I didn’t do it.”

  Garrett huffed out a heavy sigh. “You complicate the hell out of my life, you know that?”

  What did he say? Sorry? “Try seeing it from my point of view.” Ah, hell, how was he going to tell Lana? They were both fatherless now. He took a step toward Roland.

  “Don’t move,” Garrett said. “This just became a crime scene.”

  “What about the gold?” Lynx dropped the heavy
chainsaw to the floor.

  “That will have to wait until the troopers clear the place.”

  “How long will that take?” Pike asked.

  “A while.” Garrett took off his gloves and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. “I’ll make the call.”

  “Good luck,” Aidan said, remembering his panicked attempts to get cell service when he’d been caught in the bear trap. “You won’t get reception until you’re closer to town.”

  “What’s that piece of paper sticking out of his breast pocket?” Lynx asked.

  Garrett pocketed the useless phone. Putting his gloves back on, he reached for the note. His jaw hardened as he read.

  “What does it say?” Aidan asked, the chill in the cabin going from freezing to frigid.

  Garrett’s troubled gaze met Aidan’s worried one. “It’s Fox.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “What about Fox?” Raven demanded, her voice high-pitched and panicked.

  Everyone jumped like someone had shattered glass, and as one they quickly turned to block the view of Roland’s cold dead body.

  “Raven, what are you doing here?” Aidan moved through the group to stand in front of her. Her eyes were wide, dark pools of fear.

  “Fox is missing. Something’s happened to him.”

  “How do you know he’s missing?” Garrett asked, in his clipped cop voice. “When did you last see him?”

  “Couple of hours ago. We had a fight and he took off with his dogs. The dogs and sled returned without him, and Lucien wasn’t with them either.” She glanced at the men lined up like a wall of warriors. “What’s going on?”

  “Who is Lucien?” Garrett asked.

  “Fox’s lead dog! Now what the hell is going on?”

  “Raven, let’s go outside and talk about this.” Aidan took her elbow to lead her from the cabin.

  She tore her arm from his grip. “Someone better start talking.” She stared at Pike who turned to gaze at the wall. Lynx was next, but he seemed to find the floor fascinating. “That’s it. Move.” She barreled through the line of men, coming up short when she saw Roland’s dead body. She turned and stared at Aidan.