Wild Surprise

by Helena Mayer

  Perry knocked the fiendish scientist to the floor and seized control of the steering wheel. He was just in time—the Drill-a-Nator was drilling straight toward a bottomless pit of lava!

  HULL OVERHEATING, the computer warned, as they drew closer and closer to the lava. HULL OVERHEATING.

  “The molten lava at the earth’s core completely slipped my mind,” Dr. Doofenshmirtz admitted in a panicky voice.

  Perry wasn’t surprised. He yanked the steering wheel hard to the left, sending them back toward the surface.

  “Oh, no!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz cried. He was huddling in a corner, wishing he had never built this stupid machine in the first place. “The lava is following us!”

  Perry swung around to peer through the back window. A river of fire was chasing them through the tunnel. Soon they would be incinerated!

  Perry thought fast. He set his own digging machine on autopilot and released it into the tunnel. The machine dug a tunnel that branched off from the main tunnel and carved a new path for the lava—a path away from the Drill-a-nator.

  Dr. Doofenshmirtz cheered Perry on. The two mortal enemies were on the same side. “The lava is being diverted,” he reported with relief. “You did it, Perry the Platypus. You saved us!”

  But just as Agent P was about to relax, he saw a terrifying sight. The other digging machine had tunneled around in a circle—it was about to intercept the Drill-a-nator’s tunnel. And that meant . . .

  “I hate to be a stickler,” Dr. Doofenshmirtz shrieked, “but the lava is coming again!”

  As the mad scientist trembled uselessly in the corner, Perry pushed the Drill-a-nator faster and faster. The machine began to shake and quake as it moved mounds of earth out of its way. Perry began to fear it would fall to pieces before they could reach the surface. If that happened, they would be instantly crushed by tons of rock and dirt.

  Unless the flood of burning lava got them first.

  Chapter 6

  Back on the earth’s surface, Candace had no idea her brother’s pet platypus was in such danger. Although if she had known, she probably wouldn’t have had time to care. She had problems of her own—and one problem in particular. Her brother.

  Linda was back in the gift shop, and she wasn’t going anywhere. Candace had tried whining and wheedling, sulking and begging. She’d tried everything—but none of it convinced her mother to leave.

  The gangly boy behind the cash register watched suspiciously as Linda examined a thick, wooden walking stick.

  “Uh, ma’am,” the boy said nervously, his voice cracking, “if ya handle the big stick, ya gotta buy it.”

  Candace tugged at her mother, forcing her to drop the stick. “Mom! You gotta see what Phineas and Ferb are doing!” she urged her, more desperate than ever.

  Linda heaved a sigh. Looking at souvenirs wasn’t nearly as much fun with Candace constantly babbling about Phineas and Ferb. So she shrugged and agreed to leave the gift shop—temporarily, at least.

  Phineas and Ferb were racing the clock. They just had to finish before Candace saw what they were up to. Which meant they had no time for the meddling park ranger who spotted them hanging from the monument.

  “Uh, excuse me,” he shouted through his megaphone, gaping up at the two boys dangling from George Washington’s forehead. “Aren’t you boys a little young to be restoring a national monument?”

  Phineas switched off his jackhammer and Ferb held a megaphone to his mouth. “Yes. Yes, we are.”

  The park ranger shrugged, then grinned. “Well, it’s good to see young people taking an interest in our national heritage,” he said cheerfully. He hopped in his jeep and drove away—and the brothers got back to work.

  But all too soon, their time ran out. “She’s coming!” Isabella shouted from her lookout post.

  The boys were so close to finishing their secret project—but not close enough. Dangling from ropes hundreds of feet above the ground, they hammered and drilled and carved and sanded as fast as they could.

  “She’s getting closer!” Isabella warned them.

  “We’re running a little behind schedule!” Phineas shouted back. “Let’s go to Plan B!”

  Isabella hoisted her walkie-talkie. “Plan B, girls!” she alerted her Fireside troop.

  The girls sprang into action. They pulled a thick rope and dragged a giant piece of canvas into place, blocking the view of the monument from the observation deck. Now anyone standing on the deck wouldn’t see the mountain. They would just see what the girls had painted on the giant canvas: an exact replica of Mount Rushmore.

  Isabella crossed her fingers. Now there was nothing left to do but wait, watch, and hope it would work.

  * * *

  “You are gonna be shocked by what I’m about to show you, Mom,” Candace said as she towed her mother up the long, steep staircase leading to the observation deck.

  But when they got to the top, Phineas and Ferb were safely hidden behind the Mount Rushmore tarp. It was almost as good as real life. Almost.

  “Hmm,” Linda said, taking her first look at the monument. (Or, at least, what she thought was the monument.) “I guess some things look better in photos.”

  Candace stared at the mountain in confusion. Where were Phineas and Ferb? How had they managed to escape again?

  Linda’s cell phone rang. Candace could hear her stepdad’s voice blaring through the tiny speaker.

  “Hi, honey,” he said. “I found an absolutely brilliant parking space!”

  Candace smirked. She knew what that meant. “Absolutely brilliant” was dad-code for “a million miles away from the entrance.”

  “Great!” Linda said. She wasn’t quite as good at deciphering dad-code. “I’ll meet you at the gift shop, dear! I still have to buy that big stick.”

  Candace groaned. Back to the gift shop, again? Candace was about to take off after her—when a bird flew straight into the giant piece of canvas!

  The canvas Mount Rushmore toppled over, revealing the real mountain.

  “Huh?” Candace muttered, confused. The right half of the mountain was draped in a massive sheet. Two small figures dangled on either side of it. Candace squinted. Was that . . . ? It was! Candace clenched her fists. Now she had proof that Phineas and Ferb were up on the mountain—and her mom was nowhere in sight.

  “Now!” Phineas shouted. His voice echoed across the ragged peaks.

  Phineas and Ferb swung down on their ropes, whipping the sheet off the mountain.

  Candace gasped. Next to the familiar four presidents, there was now a fifth face. A twisted, deformed, disgusting face. It looked kind of like Candace—if she had morphed into a monstrous freak.

  Ferb glanced up at the face and realized the grand masterpiece required one little finishing touch. He heaved his pickax and smashed it into a rock at the base of the mountain. A giant crack appeared in the rock face, and spread upward to the very top of the monument. With a thunderous blast, the twisted face shuddered and burst. Rock fragments spattered the ground. Gradually, the dust cleared, revealing a new face in the granite.

  It was Candace’s face, pretty and perfect and towering thousands of feet above the ground.

  Candace had never seen anything like it.

  “Why, it’s—it’s beautiful.” Tears of joy trickled down her cheeks as she stared up at herself, immortalized in stone. She whirled around, racing down the stairs and calling frantically for her mother. This was the most amazing thing ever. Her mother had to see it right away. “Mom, I’ve got to show you something right now!” she shouted. “Come on, follow me!”

  “Candace, are you still trying to get the boys in trouble?” Linda asked wearily, staring at the hundreds of steps.

  “No, no, no!” Candace cried. “This is a great thing!” She still couldn’t believe what her brothers had done for her. Especially after all the times she’d tried to get them in trouble. “It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me!”

  Her mom trudged back up to the observation de
ck, moaning with every step. It was taking forever. “You know, Candace, this is the third time I’ve climbed up here,” she complained. “I’m already down half a dress size!”

  “Come on!” Candace called from the top of the steps. She could hardly wait for her mother to join her. “Hurry!”

  Chapter 7

  Candace had her back to the monument, so she didn’t see the Drill-a-nator explode out of the mountain and into the air. Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz had made it back to the surface, and not a moment too soon. Perry fiddled with the controls, setting a course for Old Reliable geyser.

  They plunged toward the earth at almost a hundred miles per hour. Dr. Doofenshmirtz screamed in terror—then in rage, as Agent P released a parachute and floated to safety.

  The parachute-less Dr. Doofenshmirtz rocketed toward the geyser and crashed into the water. For a moment, all was silent and still. He poked his head above the surface. “I’m okay,” he said, surprised to discover he was still alive. “I—”

  The geyser erupted.

  “Fie upon you, Perry the Platypus!” But his screams were drowned out by the thunder of the water, as it burst out of the ground and swept him away.

  * * *

  Candace didn’t notice any of it. She was still glaring down at her slow-moving mother. “Hurry, Mom! You won’t believe it.”

  Finally, Candace got tired of waiting. She ran across the observation deck to catch another glimpse of her mountain-sized birthday surprise.

  She got a surprise all right—just not the one she’d been expecting.

  Before her eyes, a gush of molten lava shot out of Candace’s stone nose. The river of lava was rising through the Drill-a-nator tunnel—and nothing could stop it now!

  “Ew!” Candace squealed in disgust as a red rivulet burst out of the statue’s forehead. Two streams gushed out of the stone chin, and a third dribbled down the monument’s cheek. It looked like the mountainous face was covered in a rash of exploding pimples.

  The perfectly sculpted face began to crumble into molten debris just as Old Reliable geyser spit up a towering flume of water. Shooting higher than ever before, the water doused the lava and the mountain disappeared behind a gigantic cloud of steam.

  As the steam faded away, Candace’s mouth dropped open in horror.

  “Whew, finally made it, honey,” her mom said cheerfully, joining her at the railing. “Now, what is it you wanted me to see?”

  “B-b-b-but . . .” Candace couldn’t believe it. The face—her face—was completely gone. There was nothing left of her birthday surprise but a bare sheet of granite.

  “You’re right, it’s beautiful!” Linda cried, as she got her first look at the real Mount Rushmore. “Happy birthday, honey.” She threw her arms around Candace and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

  Candace just stood there, limp in her arms. She was too shocked to speak.

  “Now, let’s go find your father.” Linda hurried off, but Candace didn’t move. Not even when Phineas and Ferb showed up.

  “Did ya like your birthday present?” Phineas asked.

  Candace just whimpered. It was the best she could do.

  Ferb shrugged. “Well, it was definitely better than the gorilla in the cake.”

  Exhausted, Candace wandered away from her brothers. Some birthday.

  She stumbled down the stairs, her eyes fixed on the ground. She didn’t see Jeremy coming toward her, looking cuter than ever. “Hey, Candace!” he called out, catching sight of her.

  At the sound of his voice, Candace looked up.

  Looking a little nervous, Jeremy handed her a box wrapped in a purple ribbon. “I had a break and I, uh, I thought I’d give this to you for your birthday.”

  Jeremy gave me a present! she thought, and suddenly she wasn’t tired anymore. She felt like jumping up and down, screaming and shouting and dancing. But instead she just said, “Thank you” and unwrapped the box.

  “I saw you looking at it in the gift shop,” Jeremy explained as Candace pulled out her present.

  “A Mount Rushmore bobble head.” Candace stared down at the wobbling presidents.

  “Y-y-you like it?” Jeremy asked. Now he was blushing.

  Like it?

  On the one hand, it was the lamest souvenir on earth. It looked even lamer up close.

  On the other hand, she thought, Jeremy gave me a present!

  “I absolutely love it!” she exclaimed, hugging it to her chest.

  “Great!” Jeremy’s face lit up with a smile. Candace felt like she was glowing. “I gotta get back,” he said. “Happy birthday!”

  This was the happiest birthday ever, Candace thought, squeezing her beloved bobble heads.

  Part Two

  Chapter 1

  Phineas and Ferb were having a pretty ordinary summer so far. They’d built a rocket. Tracked down Frankenstein’s brain. And then there was the afternoon they climbed the Eiffel Tower.

  You know: same old, same old.

  But then came a day guaranteed to be different. Phineas knew it as soon as he woke up. There was something special about this day. Something exciting . . . but what?

  “Mi, mi, mi, mi.” Candace’s voice floated into the room from down the hall. She was singing in her bedroom. “La, la, la, la.”

  Phineas sat up in bed. This was seriously weird. “Ferb, are you hearing what I’m hearing? Candace singing early in the morning.”

  Ferb just looked confused. Obviously he didn’t get it either. Or maybe he wasn’t quite awake yet.

  Phineas jumped out of bed. He and his brother crept down the hall to Candace’s room. Candace was playing her guitar and scribbling lyrics on a sheet of music.

  “Mom, it’s your birthday,” Candace sang. “Thanks for all the care and love you give.” She scribbled down the words. “Eh, yeah. Yeah, that’s all right,” she muttered to herself. “I like that. Mom, it’s your birthday.”

  Phineas gaped at his brother, horrified. “It’s Mom’s birthday! How could we forget Mom’s birthday? Where have all the days gone?”

  Ferb didn’t answer. But if he had, he might have reminded Phineas exactly where all the days had gone.

  There was the day they built a roller coaster. (“We can’t forget Mom’s birthday!” Phineas had shouted as they zoomed down the track.)

  There was the day they’d rustled a herd of cattle. (“We can’t forget Mom’s birthday!” Phineas had cried, keeping a tight grip on his cowboy hat so the wind wouldn’t blow it away.)

  There was the day they’d surfed a tidal wave. (“We can’t forget Mom’s birthday!” Phineas exclaimed, hanging ten.) There was the day they’d turned into rock stars, the day they’d found some dinosaurs, the day they’d—well, you get the idea.

  Now Mom’s birthday was finally here.

  And they had both forgotten.

  “We should do something nice for Mom,” Phineas said, “what with Dad being out of town on business and all.”

  Ferb nodded. Then he waited. He knew his brother would come up with an idea.

  Suddenly, Phineas snapped his fingers. “I got an idea!”

  And it was brilliant.

  Candace carried a breakfast tray into her mother’s room. She was determined to give her mom the greatest birthday ever. “Eggs and bacon, oh, yeah,” she sang quietly to herself.

  Linda was still sleeping. A framed picture of her husband lay on the pillow beside her. Candace took a deep breath, ready to wake her up with an awesome birthday surprise. “Mom, let me be the first to say—”

  “Happy birthday, Mom!” Phineas shouted, barreling into the room. He flung the door open wide—so wide that it smashed Candace and her breakfast surprise right into the wall.

  SPLAT!

  Phineas hurried to his mom’s bedside. Ferb followed, wheeling a tray covered with a white tablecloth. A pot of coffee sat on top.

  “We brought you some periodicals to read,” Phineas said eagerly, handing Linda a stack of magazines. “Like Mom Daily, Mom Weekly, Mom Bi-
Weekly. And”—Phineas gave Ferb a silent signal, and Ferb poured a mug of freshly ground coffee—“just the way you like it, a half-cap, double frappé, mocha-choca-latte, mezzo espresso,” Phineas said proudly.

  Linda glowed. “Oh, wow! You boys really out did yourselves.”

  “Au contraire, ma mère,” Phineas said in a fake French accent. “I declare it is our mission to give you the best birthday ever!” He pushed her sleep mask back down over her eyes. “So relax, and no peeking till we come get you.”

  Phineas and Ferb bustled out of the room. Their mom settled back into bed, smiling. “Oh, those boys are too much,” she murmured. Then she sniffed the air. “Mmmm! Oh, I smell bacon and eggs.”

  What she smelled was Candace, who was covered in food.

  Candace peeled herself off the wall and slunk out of the room. She promised herself she would find another way to celebrate her mom’s birthday.

  Somehow.

  Chapter 2

  Down in the kitchen, Phineas and Ferb were preparing a birthday breakfast extravaganza.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro,” Phineas said into the tiny phone hooked on his ear. “We appreciate you helping us out. Oop, another call.” As he switched over to the other line, Phineas began dumping coins out of his piggy bank. He was an expert at multitasking. “Talk to me, Buford, my man.”