Nick walks to the back of the house and stares out of the expansive glass doors to the pool. “I love the pool, I love that lounge chair over there.” He points to the chair we made love on.
“It’s now my new favorite chair. That’s what we should do?” I smile at Nick.
“Fuck?” Nick teases.
“No. Well, yes but let’s go for a swim first.”
Nick drops his boxers. I giggle as I drop my robe to the floor. He takes my hand as we walk through the doors and stand at the edge of the pool.
“1,2,3.” Nick holds my hand as we jump into the pool, but we let go as our bodies hit the water. My feet touch the bottom, and I push against the pool floor and rocket back to the top. Nick comes up right behind me. We both tread water for a few minutes until he stops and swims closer to me. He takes my hand and swims to the wall in the shallower part of the pool. My back rests up against the wall while Nick holds onto the edge of the pool. His hands on either side of my head, his mouth is about an inch from mine.
His lips move over mine and our tongues touch. Our kiss becomes firmer and more intense, moving away from my mouth to my neck, my ear, back to my mouth. I love the feel of his warm lips on my skin and how the warmth of his breath moves over my skin like a whisper. I feel him press into me and he is hard, very hard. His one hand holds on to the edge of the pool while his other hand caresses my neck. I lift my legs and wrap them around him. He moves his hand away from my neck and cups my behind pressing himself in between my legs. He lets out a deep moan as he moves inside me.
It feels very different from any other time he has been inside me. There is desperation about this moment. The force in which he moves inside me is intense. I tilt my head back in pure pleasure. “Alex, you feel so good.” His voice is raw. As he pushes deep inside me, the water is following rhythmically to each thrust. I feel so much and within seconds, I release into an incredible orgasm, and all I here is Nick’s name coming from my lips.
“That’s it baby, let go, you’re so beautiful.” Nick quickens his thrusts and I feel him pumping inside me. I hear my name. We both fall into each other limp, exhausted.
A few minutes pass and we haven’t moved away from each other. I can feel his heart pound against my skin. I move my hands over his broad shoulders. He is strong and I feel so small and safe in his arms.
Nick doesn’t let go right away. He breathes on my shoulder. He stays there and then with his voice muffled by my skin I hear him say, “Baby, lets go back to bed.”
Once in bed wrapped around each other Nick rubs my back.
“Alex, I think you should take a few days off. I don’t think you should go back to work right away.”
“I’ll be okay. If I stay home I’ll be alone and that might make it worse.”
“It’s your call, but I will stay with you for a couple of days. For your sake and mine. What we experienced was horrendous. It will take a long time to get that image out of my head.”
“I want you here. For the first time, I feel afraid to be alone.”
Nick responds by pulling me closer.
“Nick, can I tell you something I have told no one.”
“You can tell me anything.” Nick twists his fingers through my hair.
“If I tell you this, I would understand if you run scared.” I know what I am about to say will be very hard for a person to hear who has lived a life filled with love.
“Alexandra, I know I can never know how you feel and what your life was like but nothing you can say will make me bolt. I don’t scare easily. Your life makes me more attracted to who you are. As much as I wish it was kinder to you, you wouldn’t be who you are if it was any different.”
“Maybe I’d be better. I’d be more light-hearted, carefree instead of always feeling so heavy.”
“You see yourself that way. Maybe your thoughts feel heavy. I see someone who is silly, a little awkward which I find charming, and you are very playful. And let me not forget to mention, sexy as all hell.”
“You and I are worlds apart on how we see me. I feel lacking in so many ways, I always have. I have nothing to offer anyone, I bring nothing to the table.”
Nick grabs my arms, pushes me on my back, and climbs on top of me. Leaning on his forearms, he looks in my eyes, “Alexandra, I don’t want you ever saying that again. Do you understand? I don’t want those words coming from your lips ever again.” His voice is firm. “Now tell me what you need to tell me.”
“Okay, but don’t look at me. I can’t have you looking at me while I say this.”
Nick relaxes his weight off to my side and he nuzzles his head into my upper arm. “Is that good?” He is barely audible, as his words get lost in my skin.
I apprehensively begin to share a truth I've held for so long. “Because I feel so alone in this world, I live with a lot of fear. All the things I’ve told you about. Fear of what will happen, fear of old age, who will be there if I’m dying. Who will help me grow old? Therefore, I always tell myself that if it ever got so bad… I would kill myself. That is my out.”
“Alex, stop.” Nick interrupts me.
“Let me finish. I need to say this out loud.” I continue to stare up at the ceiling as I finish revealing my deepest secret. Nick tightens his arm around me. “My death wouldn’t be as tragic as hers, maybe I would take way too many pills and fall asleep, No one would find me for days maybe even longer. I know it sounds disturbing, but in some very odd way, it always brought me comfort to know I would have an out. When I saw her body dead on the street, it hit a deep nerve. The day I met you I started saying yes to things as a first step for changing my life. What happened today wasn’t just some woman who committed suicide it’s a wake-up call for me. I have to let people in. I need to make a serious effort. That can’t be my fate. People standing around taking pictures of my dead body on the street, or my neighbors at my funeral saying what a sweet, but lonely girl she was.” I feel defiant. “That’s not how my life will play out.”
“So are you saying I met you at the perfect time? That there was no way in hell you were going to say no that night.” Nick looks up at me. “Boy, the stars lined up for me that night.”
“Nick! I’m trying to be serious.” Even though he has me laughing.
“Oh honey, trust me, I’m completely serious.”
“But it’s not all perfect… you and me that is. What about our age difference? Don’t you want to meet someone you can have a family with? I took children off my list a few years back. I mean I could still get pregnant, but a big family is out of the question. Hell, I don’t even know if I could get pregnant.”
“Alexandra, I have no rules. There is no list I’m checking off. Honestly, I never thought about children. I want to find someone I love and have a deep connection with them. I’ve dated a lot and they've all bored me, and I’ve known in the first five minutes. When I saw you in the bar that night something happened to me. Then everything that happened after that moment was not a coincidence. Life is bringing us together and we shouldn’t ignore it.” Nick is right on some level.
“You never wanted children?” His admission shocks me.
“I never gave it thought.” Nick says. I wait for an explanation. Everyone always has an explanation for why they don’t want children. They always try to appease people with some great excuse because people find it so off putting when someone admits to not wanting children. In expected Nick fashion, he offers none. It seems Nick will make no excuse for any of his choices.
I use my sweet, playful voice, “Nick if we will do this I have to warn you, again, I am a hot mess, really. I have a lot of commitment issues, very set in my ways, I can be withdrawn, haven’t had a successful relationship, yet.” I babble.
“First, I’m glad you haven’t had a successful relationship because I wouldn’t be here, now would I? So far, you have been none of those things. I’ll be patient with you, and if you get out of line, I’ll spank you.” We both laugh. “Now let’s go to sleep since you decided
we will work tomorrow.”
“Wait, that’s right what about work?”
“Your call, baby.”
“No one can know.” I say.
“Whatever you want, but it will be hard to hide the feelings I have for you.” Nick admits. “And I think everyone might suspect something is going on, anyway.”
“Maybe but we don’t need to confirm their suspicions.” I add.
I kiss his mouth and close my eyes.
Chapter 11
Alexandra
“Oh my God, Alex, did you hear about the woman who jumped from her high-rise apartment, yesterday.” Jill follows me into my office holding a pile of papers in her hands. “It happened just around the corner. Can you believe it?”
I put my bags down on the couch and turn to Jill, “I was there.”
“You were there?” Jill looks horrified.
“Not only was I there but her body dropped a few feet from us.” I feel sick as I relive the moment with Jill.
“A few feet? Us? Shit, that’s right you had lunch with Nick yesterday. He was there too?”
I feel like I will pass out, so I sit down on the couch.
“That’s so fucked up, Alex. How is Nick?”
“We’re both pretty shaken up. It’s not something we’ll ever forget.”
“Did it happen before or after your lunch?” I knew Jill would want details.
“After. We were walking back, and he stopped to talk at the same time she jumped.”
“So you watched it happen?” Jill cries.
I move closer to her and put my arms around her as she cries into my shoulder. She mumbles something about how bad it has to be when I see Nick standing in the doorway of my office.
Nick clears his throat, and Jill turns around. She stretches out her arms and walks towards Nick. “Oh, Mr. Ryan I feel so sorry for you both, having watched that must have been shocking.” Jill hugs Nick, and ironically, Nick comforts Jill.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. This is why I love Jill, a character through and through. “Jill, why don’t you take a break, maybe get some air.” I walk over and rub her back. “It will be okay.” Jill turns and hugs me again.
Jill takes her arms from around me and cradles my face. “Oh, it’s awful, just awful.”
I try to hold back a giggle, “We’ll survive this, Jill, don’t worry.” Jill gains composure and mutters, “I’ll be back I need a few minutes.”
Jill leaves the office, and it takes only a second for Nick and me to break out in laughter. I know it’s so wrong to laugh at Jill. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep or post-trauma, but watching her sob, and then trying to comfort us, but we end up comforting her, brings a little comic relief. Like I always say, Jill always makes me laugh.
“What was that? What a character.” Nick still laughs.
“I wouldn’t trade her for anything; she is a character.” I wipe the tears from my eyes brought on by laughing so hard.
Nick turns and locks the door.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“I want to kiss you, and I want no one walking in,” Nick says as he stalks towards me.
“But you kissed me in the parking garage.” Nick had his driver take us into work this morning instead of having me drive in. This way we can drive home together in his car. When the driver pulled into the building’s parking garage, Nick told the driver to turn off the engine then he pressed a button and the privacy window motored up.
Then we made out.
“That was twenty minutes ago.” Nick puts his hands on my face and kisses me. His hands move over my hips and around to my behind. He pulls me into him, and I feel his erection pressed against my stomach. When he's done kissing me, he moves his mouth away from mine and touches his forehead to mine. He takes in a deep breath, “I want to do this all the time."
He steps away and unlocks the door and is all business. How does he do that? I take a while to recover from his kiss, yet he’s like a functioning addict who got his fix and moves on to things as normal.
“I have to go to my lawyer today, so I’ll be back around six.”
“Text me when you get back, and I’ll meet you downstairs.”
Nick plants a quick kiss on my forehead, “Good luck with Jill.”
“Thanks, I’ll see you later.”
My day goes quickly. Besides all the questions I answered about yesterday I had a lot of work to do so I jumped when my phone rang, and it was Nick. “It’s six o’clock already?”
“Yes, it is. Do you need more time?”
“No. I can’t wait to get out of here. I’m drained. I’ll be right down.” I gather my things and close my office door behind me. Jill is still at her desk. “Go home Jill; it’s been a rough day. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Do you want to wait for me?” Jill asks because I usually do.
I hesitate not knowing how to answer her. “Um, I have a ride tonight.”
“A ride? With Nick?” Jill can’t help herself, “What’s up with you two? Are you dating?”
“No. Nothing is going on. A friend, I mean my neighbor who is a friend is picking me up, so I’ll see you tomorrow.” I bolt to the elevator. I rather let Jill assume what she wants about Nick and me. I’ll tell her the truth at some point, but it is still too new for me to say anything, I haven’t even processed it all, how could I explain it to Jill. If he weren't the owner of the company, I would tell her right away, but I think keeping our relationship private for a while is the right thing to do.
While I try to keep things private, Nick waits for me in his Audi R8 right in front of the building... that’s not too obvious.
“Hey baby, how was the rest of your day. Were you able to console Jill?” Nick asks as he leans over to kiss me.
It’s been so long since someone asked me about my day. “How funny was that, she took it hard? One would have thought it was Jill who was there when it happened.” I laugh thinking about Jill’s reaction earlier. I give Nick a quick run down of my day and then ask him about his.
“Lawyers all day, stopped by my brownstone, and I also picked us up dinner. Do you have gas for your grill?”
“I have both options, gas, and charcoal. You’re going to cook?” Nick cooking for me brings a smile to my face.
“I’m a good cook, and I’m starving. You?”
“Starving,” I remember that I forgot to eat today. There was no time and the stress of reliving yesterday with everyone turned my stomach into a knot.
I never thought to ask Nick where he lives. “Where is your brownstone?”
“East 72nd Street, maybe Friday we can stay in the city, and you’ll see it then?” Nick rubs my arm as it rests on the console.
“I’d be up for that.” It feels odd to make plans with a man after I had been single for so long. Friday nights and weekends played out the same every time. Work late on Fridays, get home around nine, soak in a bath, go to sleep, wake the next morning, go for a run, and then relax the whole weekend. To be making plans rather than getting my hair done or going to the spa, felt weird.
Forty minutes later, we pull up my driveway. Nick grabs the bags from his trunk while I unlock the house and turn off the alarm. He drops the groceries on the counter, and we go into my bedroom and change out of our clothes. He puts on Khaki shorts. The shorts hang low on his hips, and I stare at the soft trail of hair on his stomach below his belly button that disappears into his shorts.
I decide on a gray T-shirt dress. Nick must approve because he stares at my body and adjusts himself. “Alexandra, you look stunning.”
“Thank you. I just thought something similar about you.” Nick puts on a gray t-shirt then takes my hand as we walk out to the kitchen.
He searches through the shopping bags while I turn on music. We prepare dinner together. The only sound is the music playing throughout my house. He cooks the steak on the grill while I turn on the gas fireplace outside. As the steak rests, Nick searches through my wine fridge. “You have great
wines, what do you prefer tonight?”
“An Amarone will be good with the steak.” I bring the plates, napkins, and silverware outside.
Dinner is delicious, and I feel very relaxed for the first time in two days. Nick tells me about his trip to the lawyer and some company they are trying to buy in Germany. I listen, as I admire his success at such a young age. There is a lull in the conversion, and I scan the table. “We were hungry.”
Nick looks down at his watch. “I’m tired,” Nick adds as he rubs his stomach with one hand and stretches the other over his head.
We clean up together then shut down the lights. In my bedroom, Nick unpacks his bag. I go right into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. Nick comes in after, and without hesitation, lifts the toilet seat and pulls out his cock. I look over and smile at him.
He realizes why I smile and asks, “Is this okay? I mean I feel comfortable enough pissing in front of you, but do you feel comfortable with me pissing in front of you.”
I spit out my toothpaste. “Completely comfortable. It’s just been a long time since a man has pissed in front of me.” I can’t help but laugh.
“When was your last relationship?”
“Eight years ago,” I answer with no further explanation.
“That ass at the wedding?” He asks
“The very one,” I answer.
“And out in New York City, a random guy never picked up a girl like you to date or even a one night fling?”
“No. Not my thing. You were a first.” I hate talking about past relationships but since Nick asked... “You? Your last serious relationship?”
“Never. All short flings. I met no one worth my extended time.” Nick washes his hands, dries them then he taps my chin. “Alexandra, your mouth is open."
I close my mouth and hand him a towel. I walk out to the bedroom to my side of the bed. Nick stayed in the bathroom brushing his teeth. I pull back the comforter and slip off my dress and slide into bed. The sheets feel cool. Bed has never felt so good. Sleep is needed.
The Yes Girl Page 13