I turn to look at him. “Yeah, I love her. She’s such a great mix of contradictions. She’s loving and affectionate. She lets no one in to her world, yet she knows everything about everyone she interacts with. She’s intelligent and very serious, yet silly and goofy other times. She’s even clumsy sometimes, which I think is so damn cute. Her smile comes easily and often. She drives like shit but seems to enjoy every minute unaware of how bad she is. Yeah, the sex is amazing, and her body is amazing, but that’s not even half of what I love about her.” I pause only for a second. “What I love most… how she makes me feel and how I feel when I’m with her. She feels like home. I want to be with her always, she really feels like home.” I stop for a minute. “Did I tell you how bad she drives, yet has no clue she’s a bad driver. Like awful, scary driver.”
“Yeah, you mentioned it already.” Rob laughs.
“I constantly stress trying to juggle all my responsibilities. People depend on me to keep my companies strong and thriving, so they can live secure lives knowing they work for a company that cares about their needs, and their families needs. When I’m with Alexandra, I feel like everything will work out. She has a calmness about her that tells me to just trust… trust life.”
“Oh fuck, you have it bad.” Rob pats my shoulder. “I was going to suggest you date a few girls while you were here, and if you still felt the same, then go after her, but it sounds like dating is out of the question.”
“No man, I couldn’t date anyone else. I don’t want to date anyone else. I think it would make me feel worse than I already do.”
“So what’s your plan?” Rob takes the last sip of his drink.
“I will do what I have to do here, and when I’m done, I will make her marry me.”
“What if she’s moved on?”
“Not happening. She’s just scared right now. I get it.” I take a too large sip of my drink and I enjoy the burn as it goes down.
“You’re very confident.” Rob raises his finger in the air gesturing to the bartender for another round of drinks
“I have to be. I love her. I’m thousands of miles away from her, and I feel sick over it. I wanted her to be here with me. It scared her and she ran, but when I finish up here I’m going back for her.”
“Did she say if she was interested in keeping in touch?”
“We didn’t talk about it, but I will even if she doesn’t respond.” I knew from the second Alexandra hung up the phone it wasn’t the last time I would talk to her. I threw a lot at her in a very short time. Alexandra’s lived an isolated and insulated existence before me, I’m sure I shocked her routine. My absence made her panic and losing Joe's friendship hasn't helped.
Late October
"Come on answer the phone. Answer the phone damn it! I know you’re home." I say aloud as I pace with my phone to my ear listening to the rings.
“Hello.” She answers.
“Alexandra, it’s Nick.”
“Nick? How are you?”
“How am I? Really? Well, let’s see. The woman I love broke my heart, and then she tries to disappear by resigning from my company.”
There is silence on her end of the phone except for her soft breathing. She speaks. “Nick, it’s best… and it has nothing to do with you, I got a better offer.” I hear the sadness in her voice.
“That’s bullshit! I would have countered.”
She doesn’t respond. “Alexandra, are you still there?”
“I am.” She finally responds.
“Where are you right now?” I ask.
“Home in bed.” She says.
“Are you alone?” I think I’ll vomit if she says no.
“Yes, I’m alone.”
“Good. Then open your front door. It’s chilly out here.”
“You’re here… at my house?”
“Yes. Now let me in.”
A very dim light goes on in her foyer. My heart races because I can’t wait to see her. When the door opens, Alexandra stands in front of me wearing gray cotton pajama pants and a tight white little tee shirt. Unavoidably, the first things I see are her breasts filling out her top.
She steps back as an invitation for me to come in. She must be in shock because she has said nothing, but I can tell she is nervous by the deep breaths she tries taking.
“May I hug you?” I ask her somewhat unsure of myself, and her reaction.
“You don’t have to ask.”
I take her in my arms and hold her. I needed this. I needed her. With her face tucked into my shoulder, she cries.
“I know baby, this has been hard, but I’m here.”
“I’m sorry I’m crying. I can’t believe you're here.” She can't catch her breath.
I move her back, so I can see her face. She is more beautiful today than the first time I met her. I didn’t think it possible, but she glows. Her eyes are bright and her skin flushed. I need to make love to her. I want to feel her body against mine.
“Alexandra, I know you tried to dump my ass, but I needed to see you.”
“I’m happy you’re here, I’m just in shock. I didn’t realize how difficult this would be.” She wipes the tears from her face. “Is everything okay in Germany?”
“Everything’s fine. I really just needed to see you, but I’m only here for tonight. I go back tomorrow.”
“Did you have business here?”
“No.”
“You came for one night to see me?” She asks.
“Yes. So what I’d like to do, if I have your permission, is to take you to your bedroom, I’d like to take a quick shower because I just got off the plane, and then make love to you all night, and all next morning because tomorrow afternoon my driver will pick me up here to take me back to the airport.” I pause, “do I have your permission?”
“Yes.” She answers me.
I take Alexandra’s hand and walk her back to her bedroom. The only light in the room is from the night light in the corner of the room. “Were you sleeping when I called?”
“No, just resting.”
“It’s only seven-thirty, are you sick?”
“I’ve just been tired.”
“If you’re not up for this, we can just lie here. I need to be close to you.”
“I miss you, Nick, I need to feel that closeness with you.”
I walk with Alexandra over to the side of the bed and motion for her to sit. Never taking my eyes from her, I strip off all my clothes. “Alexandra honey, lie down.”
She lies back on a pillow as my eyes move over her body. She looks beautiful. The weight she lost from when she was sick returned, and possibly a little more, but it makes her look even sexier. Her breasts seem to have taken on most of the extra weight, and as I watch her nipples harden under her tight little tee my dick aches.
I place the palm of my hand at the very top of her chest and slide it down over her belly. As I move my hand over her stomach, I feel her flinch under my touch.
“You look incredible. I've missed you.”
She says nothing but nods as she catches her bottom lip between her teeth. I lean down and kiss her. "Let me jump in the shower."
I take about five minutes in the shower, but when I walk out of the bathroom, I find her sound asleep. She looks peaceful laying on her back her hands resting over her stomach.
I stand next to her and pull the comforter over her. She stirs, but her eyes remain closed. I walk over to my side of the bed and climb under the covers. I inhale the subtle honey smell of Alexandra on her sheets and pillow. I move close to her and wrap my arm around her. She moves closer to my body and I feel her soft breath caress my skin. I kiss the top of her head, “I love you, baby.”
She purrs but doesn’t wake.
I open my eyes as I feel her hands move over my skin. “Why didn’t you wake me when you finished showering?” She whispers.
“You looked so peaceful.” I move my hand down her back and over her hip.
“Well, I’m awake now.”
Wit
h that, so am I. I sit on my elbow and Alexandra turns on her back. I move my hand under her tee shirt. Her skin feels warm from sleep. I slide my fingers over her breasts lingering on each nipple. Her nipples are hard, but the skin is silky. I slide her shirt over her head and toss it on the floor next to the bed. The warm light of the nightlight illuminates parts of Alexandra’s body and simultaneously casts shadows on other parts. I trail kisses over every part of her. Her fingers move through my hair pulling and pushing as she responds to my touch.
As I kiss around her stomach, I move her pants off of her hips and kiss the exposed skin. I sit on my knees and move her pants down to her ankles. She kicks her feet out of them and pushes the pants to the bottom of the bed. I stare down at her while I move her legs apart. I slide both hands down her inner thighs and position my head between her legs. Before I put my mouth on her soft, swollen, wet skin, I breathe in her scent, inhaling like it’s a drug. Then I exhale a warm breath over her sensitive skin. She moans as she grips her fingers deeper into my hair. I cover her with my warm, wet mouth, and feel her body brace the sheets.
I move my tongue over her and in her. I can’t get enough. I want the smell of her on my face. I circle her clit and move my fingers inside of her. She is hot and swollen. She says my name and I feel her feet grip the sheet and her body gyrates as she milks my fingers inside of her.
I move up her body and look in her eyes. I push my erection in between her legs and bury myself deep inside of her. Alexandra lets out a moan and throws her head back, “Nick, I’m going to come again.” I move deep inside her rhythmically thrusting until I come fast and hard filling her. We both yell out the others name as our bodies take over.
I drop to the side of Alexandra as we relax into our well-needed orgasms. I feel numb yet my skin is hypersensitive, every part of my body vibrating. Our breath steadies and then I move to look at Alexandra. A hint of red warms her skin and her hairline is damp from perspiration, a loose strand sticks to her cheek, her breath is low and steady, and she closes her eyes. She falls asleep.
I cover her body with the blanket and nuzzle into her, and I soon follow her to sleep.
An hour before I leave, I ask Alexandra to join me on the couch. I need to talk to her because I can’t go back to Germany without her knowing my intentions.
The look on her face lets me know she knows what's coming next.
We sit facing each other, her hands in mine. “Alexandra, I understand that you can’t up and leave your life as you know it.”
She nods and swallows.
I continue. “But I am in love with you and that will not change.”
“Nick, you don’t know you could meet someone else, and it could change in a heartbeat.”
“You’re wrong. I know how I feel. I want you.” Alexandra opens her mouth to say something, but I put my hand up to stop her. “Hear me out, my love. Unfortunately, I have to go back to Germany, and unfortunately, you have decided not to come with me, so I decided that I will deal with that, but when I finish the majority of my work there, I will come back to you.”
Alexandra swallows. “Nick, I understand, but I also need you to know I want you to enjoy yourself while you are there. If you meet someone and fall in love, I will understand.” The tears that pool in her eyes give me hope she doesn’t really mean what she says, she says it to make it easier on me.
“You keep telling yourself that Alexandra, but like I said, it’s you I want, it’s you I love, I knew the moment I met you.” I wrap my arms around her. "I’ll give you some space, but I refuse to have no contact with you. I’m sorry if that bothers you, but that’s how it has to be.”
Watching Alexandra stand in her doorway, waving goodbye as Mike drives away from her house, leaves a deep pit in my stomach.
I look at Mike staring at me in his rearview mirror. “Sir, everything will be okay.”
“Mike, I know it will, I hope these months go by quickly.”
“I know you do, sir. Everything will work out. You two are meant for each other. I can tell.”
“Thanks, Mike, I know it too but my girl is so damn stubborn.”
November
To: Alexandra Adams
Subject: Thanksgiving
From: Nick Ryan
Dear Alexandra,
I am thinking about our lunch when you explained how you spend your holidays. I hate thinking of you by yourself on Thanksgiving and I wish I could be there with you. I miss you…
My love always,
Nick
To: Nick Ryan
Subject: Familiar territory
From: Alexandra Adams
Dear Nick,
I am making myself a turkey breast and cuddling up by the fire. I feel thankful to have this time off from work to rest. I miss you.
Love,
Alexandra
December
I’m thankful that I’ve had so much work to keep me busy. The end is in sight and I can’t wait to get back to New York. I’ll be able to return sooner than I thought. Initially, I thought I’d be in Germany for a year but now it looks like I’ll be heading back to the states in March or April. I will not say anything to Alexandra until I have a more definite return date. Even then, I might not tell her. Maybe I’ll just surprise her.
To: Alexandra Adams
Subject: HO, HO, HO!
From: Nick Ryan
Dear Alexandra,
Merry Christmas! I hope you received the presents I sent you. The Christmas shops in Germany are beautiful. I couldn’t resist. I slept with the blanket for a few nights before I mailed it out. I hope it still smells like me. I hope you won’t be alone for Christmas. I miss you more now.
My love always,
Nick
To: Nick Ryan
Subject: The Power of Scent…
From: Alexandra Adams
Dear Nick,
Merry Christmas! I received the gifts. They are beautiful, and yes, the blanket smells like you. I have been sleeping with it since it arrived. Now it smells like us. I kept Christmas low key. I have been exhausted, and the cold weather has been brutal. I can’t wait for spring! I miss you more now.
Love,
Alexandra
To: Alexandra Adams
Subject: Power of Scent
From: Nick Ryan
Dear Alexandra,
I took your robe before I left, you may have noticed it went missing. I have slept with it every night since I have been here. It still smells of you.
My love always,
Nick
“Oh my God is that Nick Ryan?”
I turn around when I hear my name. I recognize the girl standing in front of me. I can’t remember her name and the only reason I recognize her is because she looks like every girl I’ve dated in the past ten years before Alexandra.
She reaches her arms out towards me. “It is you. What are you doing here in Germany?”
I hug her. “I’m sorry, I recognize you, but I can’t recall your name.”
“Nick, it’s Jackie.”
“Oh, Jackie.” I still have no idea who she is.
“Can I join you?” Jackie asks as she pulls out the barstool next to me.
I ask her what she’d like to drink since she already sat down.
“Well, Nick Ryan, I’d like you and a glass of pinot.” She laughs as she tilts her head to flip back her hair.
I ignore the remark and order her a glass of wine. Fuck is this what I use to like, Cliché dimwits. The cheesy flip of the hair, the obvious take me to bed and have vapid sex with me remarks. No wonder I can’t remember who she is, I can’t see one thing about her worth remembering.
The next hour drags on as I half listen to Jackie talk incessantly about nothing. Every fifth word she brushes her hand across my hand, or rests her hand for a second too long on my thigh. She is trying desperately to get my attention, but I feel nothing for her, not even a one-night stand. The thought of being with anyone other than Alexandra repulses me.
When I can’t listen to her anymore, I gesture to the bartender to bring me the check. Despite my obvious gesture, Jackie is eager to continue our conversation.
“You know, Nick, I am hungry.”
“Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t even thinking about dinner.” I thought about getting back to my room and emailing Alexandra.
Before I can do anything, Jackie beckons the bartender to get us a table. I follow behind Jackie who follows the hostess to a table in the corner. I peruse the menu so I waste no time when the waiter comes to take our order.
It takes the waiter way too long so I make eye contact with him as soon as possible. He is at our table within seconds. He must realize I am not here for a long drawn out romantic dinner because he says nothing about the specials and doesn’t even offer his name.
I order first since Jackie motions she isn’t ready. “I’ll have the Schnitzel.”
Finally, Jackie orders, “I want a light salad, dressing on the side.”
“That’s all you want? I thought you said you were hungry.” I don’t know why I’m complaining a salad means a quick dinner.
“I’m a girl, I need to watch my figure.” She reaches under the table and squeezes my knee. I jerk my knee away from her, but that doesn’t stop her, she leans further in to find it.
This dinner is fucking boring. I loved the first meal I ate with Alexandra, she didn’t hold back. When I asked her if she wanted the eggs, or the pancakes, she shocked me when she said she wanted both. We split the meals, and she cleaned her plate.
Then when I took her to that French restaurant, she dunked her bread in a bowl of garlicky butter sauce and inhaled it. It was beautiful, it was sexy, watching her eat and enjoy it! It’s the same way she approaches my body when we make love.
When our food finally arrives, I can’t believe how little of the salad she eats. I mean it’s one thing to order just a salad, but it’s another thing to not eat it. I can’t wait to pay the check and say goodnight to this chick.
“What room are you in?” Her hand rests on my thigh, still.
“I’m on the fifth floor.” I hope she doesn’t think this will go beyond this dinner.
The Yes Girl Page 24