Eye of the Beholder

by Jackie Weger

  “Let’s get your traps emptied first…”

  “I don’t think I can wait.”

  “Try.”

  “I’m tormented.” She unzipped his jeans, caressed the enlarging length of him and gazed unashamed into his eyes. “You said we could do whatever I felt was natural. That nothing was bad.”

  “I’m possessed.” He turned the boat into the tall marsh grasses.

  — • —

  “Gage!”

  “I’m in the living room.”

  Phoebe emerged from the hall and stopped short. “Why’re you lyin’ on the sofa? Why ain’t you workin’? I came back from sellin’ my crabs and found a customer hangin’ about the cash shack lookin’ for somebody to pay.” She laid a ten dollar bill on his desk.

  “Don’t come within ten feet of me, Phoebe. I’m only thirty-five. I’d like to make thirty-six.”

  “Sex affects you worse’n liquor, don’t it?”

  Gage crooked an elbow over his eyes. “It doesn’t even compare. If it ever happens that I have the opportunity to introduce another virgin to sex, I hope lightning strikes me dead.”

  ‘‘You wouldn’t have to hope for lightning. I’d kill you myself.”

  He lifted his elbow and looked at her. “I know your methods. Lightning would be more humane.”

  “I can’t help it if I start feelin’ all tingly.”

  Gage dropped his elbow, covered his eyes. “If somebody had told me two weeks ago that I’d be done in by ninety pounds of spice and spit, I’d’ve laughed in his face.”

  Phoebe bristled. “Laugh now, why don’t you?”

  “Takes all my strength just to breathe.”

  “I want you to get out of the habit of insultin’ me. I’m a Hawley and I don’t take to it. It makes me mad.”

  “That’s another thing. Soon as I can, I’m changing your name to Morgan. Then I won’t have to listen to Hawley pride, Hawley gumption, and Hawley grit.”

  Goose bumps erupted along Phoebe’s arms. “We’re gonna get married? When?”

  “When I recover. I don’t want any of my friends to see me like this.”

  Phoebe knelt down on the floor beside the sofa. “Gage, you love me? Truly?”

  “Tried not to. Had good reason not to. I’ve been battered, abused, and cuckolded. You’d think I’d learned my lesson.”

  Phoebe dragged his arm off of his face. “Look at me.”

  His eyes opened.

  “There ain’t another man in the world that can hold a candle to you. By my lights you’re the best husband a body could have. I love you more than anything. Anything!”

  Her warm sweet breath cascaded over him. He lifted his head and kissed her gently. “That’s the most intoxicating thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

  “To prove how much I love you, I’m going to keep my clothes on,” Phoebe announced. “I won’t go near your tallywhacker again until after dark.”

  “Wonder of wonders.”

  “Anyway,” Phoebe said decorously. “We need to settle this business betwixt us. I don’t want to go into marriage owin’ you.” She reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a roll of bills. “Crab money.” Her hand trembled slightly. “Gage, back home in the mills I had to work all week for this much money.” She counted out sixty-six dollars and put it in his hand. The remainder of the cash, she shoved quickly back into her pocket. “To repair your truck. Now I can have my bumper and tag back.”

  “I was going to let you have it anyway.”

  Phoebe grinned. “I wouldn’t’ve taken it. You’re gonna have to live with Hawley pride right up to the minute I’m a Morgan.”

  Gage folded the bills and put them in his shirt pocket. “In that case, what’s Hawley pride have to say about anteing up my share of crab money? I need a new suit to get married in.”

  Phoebe wondered if the time was ripe to tell him about Ma and Pa and Erlene’s arriving on Saturday. A little voice in her head was saying, “You think you know what you’re doing, Phoebe. You think you know how Gage will react. But you don’t. You’d better be careful.”

  She decided against it. Life was going her way for a change. She didn’t want any by-chance interference.

  “First debt owed is first debt I pay,” she said. “Not to worry, I’ll settle up with you fair and square on the crabbin’.”

  “I trust you.” He smiled a smile that made her insides turn to lead. There was a whole world of meaning behind the words. The specter of Ma and Pa and Erlene thrust into her brain. But no. That’s not what he meant. He meant adultery.

  “I won’t ever give you cause not to trust me,” she said thickly. “I promise.” Gripped by something stronger than passion and unable to voice it, she reached out and traced his mouth with a fingertip. “You sure do have kissin’ lips “

  “Don’t start talking sex,” he pleaded. “You have to learn that talking about it is erotic, at least to a man.”

  “It is?”

  “Yes.”

  Phoebe sat back on her heels and demurely clasped her hands in her lap. “You mean if I just talked about what we did in the boat without even touching you, you’d—”

  “Exactly.”

  “Lor!” Unexpected streams of excitement lazily uncoiled inside her. “Gage?”

  “What?”

  “Did you like the part where I unzipped your pants and played with—”

  “I’m not listening.”

  “What about when I unbuttoned your shirt and sucked your nipples?”

  “Be quiet!”

  “What about…” Phoebe put her lips to his ear and whispered.

  Gage reached out with an unsteady arm and encircled her. “I’m lost.”

  — • —

  “Why is Daddy in bed so early? Is he sick?”

  “He’s just takin’ a nap. Nothing’s wrong with him a good sleep won’t cure. Close that kitchen door so we don’t wake him. I want to hear all about your day.”

  “I don’t want to talk about mine,” said Willie-Boy.

  “You didn’t have a good time?” Phoebe put platters of fried pork chops and potatoes on the table.

  “I almost did. But a girl named Kimmie kept followin’ me around. She even tried to kiss me. I thought I was gonna be sick.”

  “Maydean, why’re you wearin’ such a long face?”

  “I can’t enter the beauty contest.”

  “Who said?”

  “One of the girls in my Sunday school class. You have to be a senior in high school.” Her eyes filled with tears. “By then I’ll be old and wrinkled.”

  “Pooh. By then you’ll be even prettier.”

  Maydean eyed Phoebe warily. “Why’re you saying such nice things to me?”

  “I’m in a good mood. I sold my crabs and paid Gage off for our bumper and tag.”

  Maydean froze. “Are we gonna go home now?”

  Willie-Boy’s fork stopped at his mouth. “Are we gonna see Ma and Pa?”

  Dorie’s face crumbled. “Well, you can just leave then! The sooner the better!” The nine-year-old jumped from the table and raced out of the kitchen. Phoebe caught the door before it slammed.

  “What’s wrong with her?” Maydean said, scowling.

  “If you’d look outside yourself once in a while, you’d know. We made her feel left out. You two eat, I’ll go talk to her.’’

  Dorie was sprawled face down with the pillow over her head. Phoebe sat on the edge of the bed.

  “Go away!” came Dorie’s muffled command.

  “In a minute. I need to talk to you. I’ve got a secret. Howsomever, I can’t tell you unless you swear not to tell.”

  Dorie lifted the pillow and peeked out. “A good secret?”

  “You might not think so.”

  “What is it?” Dorie sat up against the headboard and hugged the pillow to her stomach.

  “You have to swear not to tell, even if you don’t like it.”

  The child hesitated, torn between sulking and curiosity.
“Cross my heart,” she finally said, doing it.

  “First I have to ask you a question.”

  “Is the question part of the secret?”

  “Sort of. What do you think about your pa?”

  Dorie’s interest dissolved. “He’s all right. He’s just my daddy.”

  “What do you think about him gettin’ married?”

  Dorie’s face fell into a troubled expression. “Could he?”

  “If he wanted to, which he might.”

  “He’s too old.”

  Phoebe opened her mouth to protest, but changed her mind. “He is, and the older he gets the more likely he’ll need someone to look after him. How would you feel about having a stepmother?”

  “Would she boss me?”

  “No more than I do.”

  “Did he tell you who she is?”

  “I have a close acquaintance with her,” Phoebe said. “She’s about as good-hearted a person I know.”

  “Who is it?”

  For once in her life, Phoebe’s wealth of courage failed her. “That’s the second part of the secret. I can’t say until I’m sure you’re gonna keep the first part.”

  Dorie suddenly appeared stricken. “Is it Belle Martin?”

  Phoebe’s eyes narrowed. “Who’s Belle Martin?”

  “She brought food every day after Momma died. She tried to kiss Daddy on his cheek.”

  “The brazen hussy! Gage wouldn’t choose her coming or going!”

  “Every time she looked at me she wrinkled her nose.”

  “If she ever wrinkles her nose at you again, you point her out to me. I’ll break it for her.”

  Dorie smothered a giggle, then looked at Phoebe. “If you and Daddy didn’t fuss so much, maybe he’d marry you.”

  Phoebe saw her chance, but she couldn’t make herself jump all the way into it. “I could try to talk him into it,” she said with a sigh, as if the idea of marrying Gage Morgan was little more than a daily chore. “But when I get married I want babies and I guess I’d worry about how you’d take that.”

  “Real babies?” Dorie’s eyes grew wide.

  “Real babies. Now that you’ve brought it up, though, if I married Gage, then Maydean would be your aunt by marriage and Willie-Boy would be your uncle.”

  “But Willie-Boy is littler than me!”

  “See what I mean? Your Pa wouldn’t like to do anything that’d make you unhappy.”

  “Willie-Boy’s all right when he’s not being a pest.”

  Phoebe assumed a properly sober expression. “Ain’t he, though?”

  Dorie displayed a sudden anxiety. “What do you think my momma would say?”

  This was the all-important point. Phoebe shook her head. “It’s hard to imagine, what with her bein’ in heaven and all. My opinion is that she’d appreciate knowin’ you were cared for. She loves you and people who love always want to see their loved ones happy.”

  “I’m happy with you and Maydean. But Belle doesn’t make me happy. She scares me. Why don’t you tell Daddy to marry you, Phoebe?”

  “I’m not sure he’d take to the idea, as stubborn as he is.”

  “You could try.”

  “Tell you what. You come back to the table and finish your supper while I ponder on it. If it comes about and he mentions it to you, you’ll have to appear surprised. Men don’t like to think we women conspire behind their backs.”

  “You like me, don’t you Phoebe?”

  “Mostly,” Phoebe replied, knowing that a child had keen insight and could see through pretense. “I’d like you a passel more if the next time you ran in here to sulk, you’d take your sandals off first. Now I got to wash this bedspread again.”

  — • —

  “I couldn’t’ve done a better job of it myself,” Phoebe said, admiring the manner in which Gage had welded her bumper back onto the truck. She also admired the way his biceps tightened, the way his back muscles rippled. Her heart fluttered, but she restrained herself. “I reckon I’ll go get it gassed up before we harvest crabs this morning.”

  “I’m not getting in that skiff with you again. Take Maydean or Dorie.”

  “But I let you sleep all night and I didn’t pester you before breakfast either.”

  “Lucky me.”

  Phoebe paid no attention to his doleful glare. “You’re back to thinkin’ I’m too skinny—”

  “Nope, I’m thinking survival.”

  “Don’t you want to do it even the least little bit?”

  Sweat began to bead on his upper lip. “I have work to do.”

  “You’re so strong-willed, Gage. I admire that in a man.”

  “Just so long as you admire from a distance.”

  “I can’t promise.” Phoebe thought about his body in her power and felt her insides begin to tremble. But the yard was open for business and the kids were running loose. Privacy was not assured. Practicality swayed her. The letter from Ma suddenly loomed large in her mind. “Anyway, I’m glad we got the truck fixed. It don’t belong to me, you know. It’s Pa’s. I got to return it.”

  Gage wiped his hands on a rag, taking an inordinate amount of time doing it. “Don’t think I want you going off anywhere. I’m feeling possessive.”

  “Oh. Well, what about if Pa came and got it?”

  “That’d be better.”

  All of Phoebe’s nerve endings began to hum. “Maybe Ma and Erlene could come down with Pa on the bus. Ma wouldn’t countenance me getting married without her being there. She’d like to know it’s so.”

  “That sounds reasonable. But Phoebe, don’t go planning a big wedding.”

  “I thought just family.”

  He looked at her from beneath his thick sweep of dark lashes. “You’re too agreeable, too fast. I get the feeling you’re somehow putting something over on me.”

  “I’m agreeable because I’m so happy,” she reassured with a grand air, gliding toward him, putting her hand on his arm. “Gage, let me kiss you. I won’t put my tongue in your mouth and make you crazy. I just want to feel your lips on mine.”

  “You’re dodging the issue. Just family.” His gaze bent hard on her face. “How many aunts, uncles and cousins have you got back up in those hills?”

  “There’s just Ma and Pa and Erlene. Joey and his wife won’t come because of the baby.”

  “I don’t want to spend a lot of money on frou frous getting married.”

  “Me, either. I want us to save our money for solid things. And I aim to use my crab money for the particulars. We got to have a weddin’ feast, but Ma and I can cook that. Ma can bake the cake. The only outsiders ought to be the preacher and his wife. It wouldn’t be polite to slight them.”

  The questioning in his eyes faded, then brightened once again. “Just so there’s no misunderstanding let’s agree right now. I’ll set aside four hundred dollars for us getting married outside of your ring. Not a penny more.”

  Four hundred dollars. Lor! She could get married ten times over for that. It descended on her with a shock that his idea of parsimony was far more generous than her own. “I’ll make that do,” she said solemnly. “I’ll eke out every dime.” She slid her hand up his arm. “Now, will you kiss me, or do you aim to make me suffer daylight to dusk?”

  He bent his head and pressed his mouth lightly to hers. Phoebe nibbled on his lower lip.

  “Stop that.” But he laughed and his arms tightened his embrace. Phoebe pressed her thigh to his, felt the quicksilver stirring in his loins. She was aglow with feminine power. All would be well. Even when Ma and Pa arrived. She just knew it. Gage ended the kiss, but Phoebe stay put in his arms.

  Her heart filled with tenderness. “Gage, I’m going to make you the best wife in the universe.”

  “You don’t have to be the best, Phoebe. Just belong to me.”

  There was an underlying insistence in his voice. Phoebe stepped out of his arms. “God put you in my path, Gage. There was never a man before you and there won’t be after. Married to you I’m go
ing to be the envy of every woman between here and Mobile. I ain’t givin’ that up.”

  The deep dark cave that was his heart filled with warmth and light. “Get out of here and go crabbing before my willpower fails me.”

  “Is it about to?” she asked, all hope.

  “Mr. Gage!” Willie-Boy shouted as he hurried into the shop. “Did you get that bike fixed for me yet?”

  “Reprieve.” Gage grinned at Phoebe.

  Phoebe tilted her head and returned his grin. “Wait until after dark.”

  — • —

  “It’s been dark for hours.” Gage stood on the threshold of Phoebe’s bedroom, peering in. “Isn’t there some little promise or other you wanted to make good on?”

  “I was waitin’ for the kids to get hard asleep.” She stretched sinuously, arching; the line of her throat was compellingly vulnerable. She was stopped for a moment by Gage’s eyes riveted on her, then she smiled. For modesty’s sake he wore pajama bottoms, but they did little to hide his aroused state. “Have you been layin’ abed thinkin’ of me?”

  “I was reading the paper.”

  Phoebe laughed. She felt so bold. “Tell me one thing you read.”

  “I read my horoscope. It said for me not to tolerate any teasing.” He crossed the room, scooped her into his arms. “It said I should be creative in an affair of the heart.”

  Cradled in his arms, Phoebe felt no more substantial than a willow. “What else did it say?”

  He nuzzled her neck as he carried her into his own room and placed her on his bed. “It said I should drag you by the hair on your head into my lair and strip you naked.” He took the hem of her gown, pulled it up. Phoebe’s arms slid out.

  “Did it say anything about closin’ and lockin’ the door to the lair?”

  “Leave it to you to be the practical one. Good thing you don’t write horoscopes.”

  “Good thing I’m here so you can make it come true.”

  His eyes, opaque with passion, took in her shoulders, the tidy mounds of her breasts. Small breasts, round with dainty nipples.

  When he returned to the bed he lay down beside her, pressed his lips into the curve of her neck and began to stroke every inch of her.

  His hot kisses distracting her, Phoebe couldn’t keep track of where his hands were going, what they were doing. His hands, then his lips closed over her exposed breasts, and a pleased sound erupted from him as he pulled her against him, forcing her to feel him jutting against her thighs. He was making her body dance, flooding her with heat.