Pretty Ugly

by Karyn Langhorne Folan

“I’m okay, Carl. I just can’t help thinking about how happy she would be to have a baby to hold again. She’d be smilin’ ear to ear. ”

  “Yes, she would,” Dad agreed.

  Jamee winced. Of course Grandma would love the baby, but why did they act as if everything would be better once the baby arrived? A baby wouldn’t fix anything.

  Grandma’s still gone, and my life’s still a mess. Jamee almost said the words out loud as she filled another bag with Grandma’s clothes.

  Next to her, Mom leaned forward in Grandma’s rocker and stood up slowly, resting her hands on her belly. “Well, I gotta work tonight, so I’d better get changed—”

  Just then, the phone rang. Darcy moved toward the door, but Mom stopped her.

  “I’m up. I’ll get it,” she said and stepped into the hallway, swaying slightly as she walked.

  “So, Darcy, how’s school?” asked Dad.

  “Good,” Darcy answered. She then went on about what she found on the computer and how she was going to take some test called the PSAT in a few weeks.

  Jamee ignored her, carefully removing the button she had made from Grandma’s sweater. She had just slipped it in her pocket when she heard the phone slam down in the other room.

  “Jamee Wills!” Her mother hollered from down the hallway. “Get your butt out here right now!”

  “What is it, Mattie?” Dad asked.

  Darcy turned and flashed Jamee the what-did-you-do-now look. Jamee almost told her off as she rushed to Mom. Dad followed right behind her.

  Mom stood at the kitchen counter with a look of fury on her face.

  “What, Mom?” Jamee asked, bewildered. “What’d I do?”

  “It’s what you didn’t do, according to Mrs. Guessner, your algebra teacher. That was her on the phone. ” She looked over Jamee’s head to her father. Jamee felt her stomach sinking as her mother scowled at her.

  “Apparently Jamee failed a test and was supposed to bring it home for us to sign. You seen a math test?”

  Dad shook his head. “That true, Jamee?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “That’s only part of it, Carl. Mrs. Guessner says Jamee told her we signed it. ”

  “What?” Dad crossed his arms on his chest and shook his head.

  “And she was supposed to meet her after school for extra help, but she skipped it twice for cheerleading practice!” Her mother fumed, the creases in her forehead deep and angry. “Jamee, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, there ain’t gonna be no cheerleading if you can’t keep your grades up!”

  “I know,” Jamee tried to explain. “But Mom, it’s just one stupid test and I’m gonna retake it tomorrow—”

  “Did you study? Did you go get some extra help?”

  Jamee hung her head.

  “No, of course not. You’re too busy with cheerleaders and sneakin’ around with that boy Desmond Hodden. ”

  “I didn’t sneak—”

  “Mattie, remember what the doctor said, not to get upset,” Dad urged, putting his hand on Mom’s shoulder.

  “It’s too late for that, Carl!” Mom snapped, shrugging away from him and turning back to Jamee.

  “You’re not gonna amount to anything in this world if you keep this up. Y’hear me? The only reason you even made it through eighth grade is ’cause your teachers cut you some slack with all the problems we went through last year. ” Her mother flashed Dad a knowing look and shook her head as if she were disgusted.

  “And after all that and our meeting this summer, you still failed your first test! And you lied to us about it?” Mom’s voice boomed with anger.

  “Mattie—”

  “And for what?” she continued, glaring at Jamee. “Stupid cheerleading! I can’t believe this. ”

  Jamee knew she had been wrong to lie. Deep inside, she also knew she would never achieve as much as Darcy. But one word Mom said set off a spark in her head. Stupid. She couldn’t hold her anger in any more.

  “Cheerleading’s not stupid!” she yelled back at her mother. “Algebra’s stupid!”

  “Oh, so now you got all the answers too, huh?” Mom said, stepping forward and glaring down into Jamee’s face. “Let me tell you something. You better turn this around and start being more like Darcy when it comes to school, or we’re gonna have some serious problems around here. ”

  Jamee trembled in rage at Mom’s words. There it was again. Be like Darcy. She wanted to grab her mother’s shoulders and shake her.

  “I’m not Darcy, Mom!” she shouted. “Maybe if you weren’t so caught up in Darcy’s testing, and Aunt Charlotte’s computer, and your stupid plans for the baby’s room, you’d see that—”

  Whap!

  Mom’s open palm struck Jamee on the side of her face, filling her cheek with pain. Dad darted in between them and gently nudged Mom back.

  “Mattie, please!”

  “You watch your mouth, Jamee Wills!” her mother hissed, a fiery mix of shock and fury in her eyes. “I can’t even stand to look at you right now. Go to your room!”

  Jamee stood still. Even though she knew she should move, her feet felt nailed to the floor.

  “And tomorrow, you better pass that test, you hear me? If you don’t, cheerleading’s over, and you’re gonna be grounded in this house until you get your head on straight and learn to speak to me with some respect! Y’hear me?! Now go!”

  Jamee didn’t move. Her cheek throbbed where her mother’s fingers had struck her. Tears pooled in her eyes, but she wouldn’t let them fall, not with everyone staring at her, not with Darcy’s mouth hanging open in disbelief.

  “You can send me to my room all you want, but you can’t make me care about that test,” Jamee said, her chest heaving. “I’m not like her, okay?” Jamee jerked her head toward Darcy. “I never have been. I’m sorry if that’s not good enough for any of you. ”

  Her mother turned and rubbed her forehead as if she had a terrible headache.

  “Jamee, please. Just go,” Dad said in a low voice, rushing to Mom’s side. “It’s not good for the baby or your mother to be upset. ”

  But what about me?! Jamee thought as she stood at the edge of the hallway alone. She could feel the tears swirling behind her eyes, and Darcy’s constant stare pressing over her face. Unable to hide her tears any longer, Jamee hurried to her room and slammed the door.

  Chapter 7

  Knock! Knock!

  Jamee opened her swollen eyes at the sound and sat up in her bed. She glanced at the clock. Hours had passed. She realized she had fallen asleep.

  “Amberlynn’s on the phone,” Darcy called through the door. “She says it’s important. ”

  Jamee got up and stumbled to the door. Darcy stood in the hallway, looking as if she wanted to say something. Whatever it was, Jamee wasn’t ready to hear it. She grabbed the phone and retreated to her room.

  “Jamee?” Amberlynn sounded funny. “Have you seen it? Are you okay?”

  “Seen what?”

  “The picture. ”

  “Huh?”

  “Oh my God. You don’t even know about it yet?!” Amberlynn exclaimed.

  “Know about what?”

  “Someone sent a nasty picture of you and Angel to everyone’s cell phone. ”

  “What?! ” Jamee shook her head, trying to make sense of what Amberlynn was saying. “What do you mean, nasty? ”

  “Well, I don’t have a cell phone, so I haven’t seen it yet, but Alisha did,” Amberlynn spoke quickly as if she couldn’t force the words out fast enough. “She said Angel looks half-naked in it, and your arm is around her. She said it kinda looks like you’re together or something. ”

  “Together?” Jamee cried, the room seemed to spin.

  “Like in that way. ”

  “I understand what you mean, Amberlynn!” Jamee snapped. “But that ain’t right—”

  “I know, I know, Jamee,” Amberlynn said earnestly. “That’s why I called you. I’m just telling you what Alisha told me. She w
as looking at it just now. ”

  “I don’t believe this,” Jamee huffed. There had to be some kind of mistake. She would never be involved with anything like what Alisha described. Besides, she hadn’t even taken any pictures with Angel. “She’s wrong or she’s lying. There’s no way that’s true. ”

  “That’s what I said, but she said I should see it. Can you meet me over there?”

  Jamee rubbed her face. It was nearly 8:00, and on school nights she was supposed to be in by 7:00. But now both of her parents were at work, and only Darcy was in the house. What could she do? Besides, Jamee knew she was in a ton of trouble already. How could it get any worse, even if Darcy told on her?

  “I’m on my way,” she said.

  Darcy stood in the hallway, sternfaced, with her arms crossed on her chest. Maybe she had been listening. Jamee couldn’t tell.

  “Where are you going?” Darcy demanded as Jamee rushed toward the front door.

  “Out,” she answered, without stopping.

  “Mom and Dad said—”

  “I don’t care what they said,” Jamee grumbled. “This is important. ”

  Darcy crossed her arms and stood between Jamee and the door. “I can’t let you do this, Jamee. When Mom and Dad find out—”

  “They’re not going to find out unless you tell them, Darcy. ”

  “Don’t do this, Jamee. Whatever it is, it’s not that important. After everything that happened tonight, you need to stay home and study. I can help you. You need to pass that test. ”

  “And you need to get outta my face, Darcy,” Jamee warned. Her hands trembled, and she glared into her sister’s eyes. She would knock her aside if she had to. Though Darcy was older, Jamee knew she could overpower her sister, especially with the way she felt right now. She was sure Darcy knew it, too.

  “You can’t run away again, Jamee! I won’t let you. You can’t do that to Mom, not with the baby. ”

  “I’m not running away! I’m going to Alisha’s,” she grumbled. “Now move. ”

  Darcy paused and shook her head as if she knew she couldn’t stop her. Then she stepped aside.

  “Whatever you do, I’m not gonna cover for you. ”

  “Then don’t,” Jamee said angrily.

  She shouldered past Darcy and stepped out alone into the cool, dark evening.

  Jamee couldn’t believe what she saw.

  On the tiny screen of Alisha’s phone was a picture just like Amberlynn had described. Angel wore a white sports bra and slumped forward looking upset, almost teary. Without a shirt on, her torso was long and wiry, and her chest was pointy and small. Jamee sat close to her, an almost tender look on her face. Her arm rested gently on Angel’s bare shoulders. The picture even contained a short caption.

  “Look who’s in love,” it said.

  Jamee almost smashed Alisha’s phone against the wall. She knew the picture was taken the day Vanessa and her friends stole Angel’s shirt. She could even see the hazy image of a locker behind Angel’s head.

  “Vanessa did this! I know it,” Jamee fumed, barely able to contain her anger. “I can’t believe her. ”

  “Yeah, but she probably didn’t take the picture herself. She’s smarter than that,” Amberlynn said. “I bet she got one of her friends to do it for her. ”

  Jamee studied the image again. The person who took it had to be standing at the corner of the row of lockers. And then it clicked.

  Tasha.

  It all made sense. No wonder Tasha had been looking so guilty lately. No wonder she’d been standing there fiddling with her cell phone the day it happened. No wonder Vanessa and her friends were hunched over her cell phone at Niko’s.

  Jamee told Amberlynn and Alisha everything that happened at the pizzeria. “Now I know why they were laughing,” she added, her hands flexing with anger.

  “Yeah, they were probably pressing Send on your picture right then,” Amberlynn said.

  “I still can’t believe she sent it to the whole school like that. That girl is messed up!” Alisha said.

  Jamee couldn’t believe it either. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to rip out Vanessa’s hair extensions and smack Tasha in the face with them.

  “I guess she meant it when she threatened you,” Amberlynn added.

  “Yeah, well I’m gonna take that girl down. There ain’t no way she’s gonna get away with this. ”

  “You can’t just fight her, Jamee,” Amberlynn frowned. “If you do that, they’ll suspend you from school and throw you off the squad. That’s exactly what Vanessa wants to happen. ”

  “Look, if they did this to keep Angel off the cheerleading squad, all you gotta do is tell Coach Seville. She’ll kick ’em off the squad in two seconds. And that way you’ll still have a chance to be on the team,” Alisha suggested.

  Jamee shook her head. She hadn’t told on anyone in years, not even if she knew some of the kids who sold drugs after school, stole from cars on Union Street, or busted the swings in the nearby park. Ratting people out didn’t seem right. But maybe now was different.

  “I hate to say it, but Alisha’s right,” Amberlynn agreed. “Besides, you don’t wanna fight all them girls. I know you’re crazy sometimes, but some of them look kinda fierce. ”

  “I don’t care who they are,” Jamee snapped. “They’re gonna have the whole school talking about me!” She could almost hear the laughter as people checked out their messages and saw the picture. She knew others would look at it and think it was real, more proof of her wild reputation. Dez might be one of them. The thought made her stomach twist.

  What if it gets online on SpaceBook or MyFace? Jamee wondered and then cursed out loud.

  “Calm down, Jamee. It’s no big deal. Just tell Coach Seville tomorrow. She’ll boot Vanessa and Tasha out before auditions even start. The whole thing’ll be over just like that. ” Alisha snapped her fingers to make her point.

  “You don’t get it, Alisha! How would you feel if strangers were staring at you?!”

  Alisha shut her mouth, and for a moment the three girls were silent.

  “Do you think Angel has seen these pictures?” Amberlynn asked finally. “It might be worse for her. No one even knows her. ”

  Jamee shook her head. She hadn’t even thought about Angel. As shy and alone as she was at Bluford, the picture would be devastating. “I don’t know. ”

  Alisha frowned. “Well, if Vanessa wants her to drop out of the tryouts, she’d probably make sure she saw it. That’s what I would do if I were them. ”

  “Yeah, but Angel doesn’t have a cell phone. I bet she doesn’t even know about this,” Amberlynn said.

  “No matter what, she’s gonna find out tomorrow,” said Alisha soberly.

  Jamee stared at the tiny image again. Each time she looked at it, she felt angrier. Part of her wanted to fight Vanessa and Tasha first thing tomorrow and tell the entire school what they had done. Another part was so embarrassed she didn’t want to set foot in Bluford again.

  But then she thought about Angel. She was the one who was half-naked. She was the one everyone would see. She was the one who had no friends at Bluford. Someone had to look out for her.

  “So whatcha gonna do?” Amberlynn asked.

  Jamee tossed Alisha’s phone aside and stood up, her forehead pounding. There was so much pressing down on her—Mrs. Guessner and the stupid test, the fight with Mom and Dad, the nonsense with Dez, the stress of cheerleading auditions. And now this. Jamee felt as if her skull was about to explode.

  “I don’t know. ”

  They talked for a few more minutes before Jamee hurried home with her head heavy and aching. Darcy was still sitting in the living room when Jamee came back in.

  “I need to talk to you,” she said as soon as Jamee closed the front door. “I just got off the phone with Tarah. She told me there’s some picture of you going around school. Jamee if you’re in some kind of trouble—”

  “It’s my business, Darcy,” Jamee muttered.
<
br />   “Jamee,” Darcy frowned. “You’re my sister. I know you think we’re in some kinda . . . competition, but that’s not true. I just want to help—”

  “I don’t need your help,” Jamee barked. “I can handle this on my own. ”

  She went straight to her room and closed the door.

  “Yo, Jamee!” Dez called, an edge to his voice. He was waiting outside her house Thursday morning.

  “What are you doin’ here?” she asked sharply. She felt as if she had barely slept. Her head was hurting already, and the day hadn’t even started.

  “You know why I’m here. Don’t act stupid!” he snorted.

  “Don’t start with me, Dez. I’m not in the mood. ”

  “I knew you’d been acting funny. Like you don’t like me no more. But another girl? Why you gonna do me like that?”

  “Listen, Dez. It ain’t what it looks like—”

  “Right,” he muttered. “I saw how you jumped up as soon as she walked into Niko’s yesterday. You left me sittin’ there like some kind of fool!” He shook his head. “If you were that way, you should have never started going out with me. Or you could have broken up with me instead of humiliating me like this—”

  “Humiliating you!” Jamee scoffed. “Is that all you can think about? First you accuse me of doing it with Bobby Wallace, and now you actually think I was with Angel McAllister! Forget you, Desmond. You think I shoulda’ broke up with you earlier? Well I’m doin’ it now. I’m done with you. Goodbye. Don’t talk to me no more—”

  “You’re done with me?” Desmond’s eyes flared as she passed him. “I’m not the one with her hands all over another girl—”

  She turned back, barely able to stop herself from slapping him.

  “Desmond, I can’t believe I ever went out with you!” Jamee screamed, stopping just inches from his face. “If I was into girls, I’da told you before I ever kissed you. But you know what? It don’t matter. All you wanted was some girl with a reputation so you could get with her anytime you feel like it. Well, that ain’t me neither, no matter what you heard!”