Pretty Ugly

by Karyn Langhorne Folan

  Jamee turned and stormed away as quickly as she could. She was relieved that Desmond didn’t try to keep up with her. By the time she reached the school, he was more than a block behind.

  “Yo, Jamee! Where’s your girlfriend, huh?” two guys she didn’t know hollered as she walked up the cement steps to school. “When you gonna come back to our side?”

  As she neared her locker, a group of sophomore girls eyed her as if she had a disease. Jamee could tell they were talking about her. She wondered if Angel was going through the same thing. Was she still as determined to succeed as she had been yesterday? Or had the picture changed her mind? Maybe Angel had gone straight to Coach Seville this morning. What if she quit the team?

  “Can you believe them two were together?” one of the girls mumbled.

  “Yeah, and last year she dated that drug dealer. ”

  “And then she got busted for shoplifting. ”

  “No wonder she ran away. That girl is a mess. ”

  Jamee cringed. The words set fire to her insides. She was about to yell back at them that it was none of their business, that the rumors were wrong, but the girls turned and walked up an unfamiliar corridor. Rather than follow them, she darted to Mrs. Guessner’s class, keeping her head down to avoid the stares.

  But the snickers and comments followed her. Jamee couldn’t believe how quickly Bluford had turned on her. It was as if the entire high school was a beast thirsty for gossip and hungry for someone to humiliate. Had it always been this way? She had never noticed it before, maybe because she always had an older sister to shield her. But now, thanks to Vanessa and her friends, Jamee realized she had become a target.

  As she turned the corner to Mrs. Guessner’s class, Jamee stopped in her tracks. Vanessa stood before her in the center of a cluster of girls crowded against a row of lockers. Some of them laughed loudly. Jamee recognized a few faces, including Tasha, but others were new. Clutched in Vanessa’s right hand was Tasha’s pink cell phone. Tasha watched it intently, almost as if trying to grab it with her eyes. But Vanessa held on to it, pressing buttons quickly, her fingers like needles stabbing at the tiny keys.

  “I couldn’t believe it, either!” she was saying. “I mean, I’m not surprised about Angel, but Jamee Wills? Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?”

  “Had. Desmond Hodden just broke up with her. This morning,” said one of the girls eagerly, as if she enjoyed sharing the news with Vanessa.

  “I guess you don’t know about some people,” Kym added with a smirk.

  “You all know that’s not true!” Jamee yelled, unable to stop herself from walking toward them, even though she was alone. Several girls gaped in surprise. Tasha stepped back, avoiding her gaze, while Kym flashed a mean grin.

  “Here we go,” Kym said, dropping her backpack.

  Jamee stepped up to Vanessa, staring at the taller girl’s hair extensions and the cover-up she wore to make herself look pretty. All Jamee could see was ugliness in Vanessa’s lying eyes. She wanted nothing more than to slap the grin from her mouth right there, though Kym stepped right up to Vanessa’s side.

  “It’s a lie and you know it, Vanessa,” Jamee hissed.

  “Girl you’re trippin’, and you’re about to get yourself in trouble,” Vanessa warned.

  “I know what you did. I saw you holding that phone yesterday at Niko’s. I know you got Tasha to take that picture. ”

  “Really?” Vanessa crinkled her brow. “Did I force you to take a picture, Tasha?”

  Tasha glanced at Jamee, then hung her head without saying anything. Vanessa glared at her.

  “I don’t know why you don’t just admit it, Jamee. So what if you have a thing for Angel? Besides, the picture isn’t on this phone. Tasha wouldn’t keep anything like that on here. See?” Vanessa smirked as she held out the phone. The screen was blank, as if everything had been erased.

  Whap! Jamee reached out and smacked the phone from her hand. It tumbled to the ground, where Tasha quickly grabbed it. Kym shoved Jamee back. Voices whooped and hollered.

  “They’re gonna fight!” someone shouted.

  “Girl fight!” The calls echoed down the hallway. People gathered around.

  “Tell them what you did,” Jamee ordered, her fingers curling into fists as she glared at the two girls.

  Vanessa didn’t even flinch.

  “I ain’t done nothing to you. And if you think I did, prove it,” she said with a wicked sneer on her face.

  “C’mon, girl. If you’re so bad, bring it!” Kym taunted.

  It was too much. Jamee was about to throw a punch when a classroom door suddenly swung open.

  Mrs. Guessner stepped out into the hallway. Overhead, the warning bell rang. Students had one minute to get to class.

  “What’s going on here?” Mrs. Guessner demanded as her eyes swept between Jamee and Vanessa, and then at the students gathering around. “The second bell is about to ring. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll all get to class. Now!” she said loudly.

  The crowd scattered. Vanessa tossed her hair and walked away with a smirk.

  “Jamee Wills, get in here right now,” Mrs. Guessner ordered. Jamee shook with anger as she raced to her seat and pretended she didn’t see everyone staring at her.

  “That’s what I’m talking about,” called out Ahmad, a boy who snuck in just before the bell. He eyed Jamee as he sat down. “Girls gone wild!” A few of the other boys laughed. Mrs. Guessner raised an eyebrow.

  “Ahmad,” she said sternly. “Since you’re eager for attention this morning, why don’t you come up and solve the first problem on the blackboard?”

  Ahmad groaned as he pulled himself out of his chair. Jamee pretended to watch him as he struggled to solve the equation the teacher had written, but it was all an act. She kept blinking fast to keep from crying.

  As the class dragged on, Jamee couldn’t stop replaying the events in the hallway. If Mrs. Guessner hadn’t come out when she did, Jamee knew she would have hit Vanessa for sure. Then she would have ended up in Principal Spencer’s office. Her parents would have been called. Cheerleading would be over. It would have been exactly what Vanessa wanted. She would have won.

  “I’m not gonna let her beat me,” she wrote in her notebook.

  Writing the words seemed to calm her anger, so Jamee wrote again.

  “I’m not gonna let her beat me. I’m gonna find a way to turn this around,” she wrote. “I’m gonna turn this around and everyone’s gonna see Vanessa for the liar she is. ”

  Jamee underlined the word liar so hard her pencil broke, but she didn’t care. For the first time all morning, she took a deep breath. She still had no idea how she would get Vanessa to admit what she had done, but at least her head was clear enough to think.

  “Don’t forget, those of you retaking the test today need to be here right after school!” Mrs. Guessner called over the bell at the end of the period. “There won’t be any second chances after this!”

  Jamee heard her, but she had already made up her mind what she would be doing after school. She had hoped to sneak out of the class without having to face Mrs. Guessner, but the teacher stopped her before she made it past her desk.

  “Jamee,” she said in a low voice and then waited until the classroom emptied out. “I guess you know I spoke with your mother yesterday. I explained to her that you’re in jeopardy of failing this course and that we really need to get a handle on it before it’s too late. Understand?”

  Jamee nodded.

  “Good. So you’re going to show up and take this test today?”

  Jamee hesitated. She knew she could just say yes . . . and then skip the test later. But right at that moment, Jamee knew the last thing she needed was another lie.

  “No, Mrs. Guessner. I’m not gonna retake the test this afternoon. I have to go to cheerleading tryouts. ”

  Mrs. Guessner frowned. “Jamee, I know cheerleading is important to you. But the fact is even you won’t be able to make the team if you fail t
his test. ”

  Jamee nodded. It was probably too late already, she figured. With all the drama last night, she hadn’t studied at all. What chance did she really have of passing the test? At least this way, she would know if she was good enough. And there was another reason she needed to be there today.

  Angel.

  “I know that, but I’m going to cheerleading tryouts. It’s the last day,” she said, thinking of all that happened already and all that still remained undone. “There’s something important I have to do there. ”

  “Do your parents know you’re doing this?” Mrs. Guessner asked sternly.

  Again, she knew she could lie, but she pushed it from her head. There had been enough of that already. “I don’t think so. ”

  “Jamee, I know you think I’m just trying to ruin your life, but honestly, I’m trying to help you. Your parents are, too. We’re all very concerned. You’re a bright girl, Jamee—as bright as your sister. But . . . ” she sighed. “It’s like you’re trying to throw your future away. ”

  Jamee shook her head. It wasn’t the teacher’s fault she didn’t understand, but Jamee wasn’t going to play games anymore.

  “I’m not throwing my future away, Mrs. Guessner,” Jamee said firmly. “It’s just that I don’t see my future like you do. Or like my parents do. Or like Darcy sees hers. ” She stood up straight and looked her teacher in the eyes. “I can’t take the test this afternoon. I have to go to cheerleading tryouts. I’m sorry. ”

  “I’m sorry, too, Jamee. ” Mrs. Guessner said with a heavy sigh. “Very sorry. ”

  Chapter 8

  “Have you seen Angel McAllister?” Jamee asked a group of girls standing in the locker room at the end of the day.

  It had been one of the worst days at school she could remember. All day long, people were whispering and snickering about the picture. Sometimes they said things right to her face.

  “Girl, could I get wit’ that the next time you takin’ pictures?” an older boy asked her in the lunch line, looking at her as if she were a car he wanted to drive. A few boys laughed along, as if they thought his comment was funny.

  “You keep talkin’ like that and you ain’t never gonna get wit’ anything,” she said, acting strong, the way she did when she hung out with Bobby Wallace and his friends. And yet the truth was that this boy’s eyes made her nervous. She was glad when he left.

  Later Jamee was scolded when she mistakenly bumped a girl in the cafeteria checkout line.

  “You better step off. Just ’cause you like that doesn’t mean I am, y’hear?” The girl almost seemed scared, and yet her eyes were angry, too.

  Jamee was stunned. What you think, I’m gonna bite you or something? Even if the rumors were true, it ain’t right to hate on people! she wanted to say.

  She was sure Angel got the same treatment, and she hoped to speak to her at their table. But Angel never showed up at lunchtime. Jamee wondered if she had decided to skip school. Maybe the picture was too much and she quit cheerleading. The idea made Jamee even more furious with Vanessa. More than anyone, Angel deserved a chance to be on the squad. She had fought harder than anyone else over the last week. And somehow her success had become the one thing Jamee cared about in school, the one thing that pushed all her other problems out of her head.

  “Have you seen Angel McAllister?” Jamee asked again. There were only a couple of girls in the locker room when she arrived. They looked nervous and barely acknowledged her.

  “C’mon, people! Angel McAllister? She’s about my height, wears glasses? Number thirty-five? The girl who did the aerial?”

  “You mean the one in that picture with you?” one girl said knowingly. She was number twenty-two. Jamee couldn’t remember her name.

  “Yeah, her,” Jamee said, bracing herself for another comment.

  “You know, we was just talking about it, Nia and me. ” She nodded at the girl beside her. Jamee recognized her as a thicker-built girl who had surprisingly quick moves. “Isn’t that our locker room in the background?”

  Jamee nodded. It was the first time someone actually asked a question about the photo. Of course it would be another cheerleader, she thought. They knew the truth about what’s been happening.

  “All of us have had our tops off in here. Makes me want to change in the bathroom, just in case. ” She shook her head sympathetically.

  “Me too, now,” Jamee added.

  “Who did this to you?” Nia spoke up then, looking around to make sure no one else was listening. “Was it that girl, Vanessa?”

  Jamee nodded.

  “Didn’t I tell you, Marcie?” Nia said in a low voice. “That girl acts like she owns the cheerleaders, and Coach Seville ain’t even picked any of us yet,” she muttered, shaking her head. “Your name’s Jamee, right?”

  Jamee nodded again as Nia continued. “Well, we all been talking ’bout Vanessa. She’s a piece of work. But like I told Marcie, she’s the type who’ll ruin your life if you stand up to her. ”

  “Tell me about it,” Jamee murmured. “But have you seen Angel?”

  Nia shrugged toward the door. “I thought I saw somebody outside Coach Seville’s office when I passed it—”

  Jamee started moving. “Thanks!” she called to the two girls.

  “Sure, Jamee. Good luck!”

  Coach Seville’s door was closed, but Angel was standing outside with her arms crossed on her chest and her head down when Jamee got there. She hadn’t changed for practice or anything. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were redrimmed. She looked as if she had been crying all day. She wanted to give her a hug—and even opened her arms—then decided against it because of the picture. Knowing that made Jamee feel angry all over again.

  “Where were you today? I didn’t see you at lunch. ”

  “You think I wanted to be in that cafeteria on a day like this? Besides, you’re better off without me. I’m sorry I dragged you into all this, Jamee,” she sniffled.

  “So what are you doing now?” Jamee asked her. “Please don’t tell me you’re quitting. ”

  “Why not?” Angel sniffled. “That’s what everyone wants, isn’t it?”

  “You can’t quit. We’re in the same boat, and I’m not gonna go out like that. We gotta find some way to make Vanessa and her friends admit this was all one big lie—”

  “It doesn’t matter if it’s a lie!” Angel said angrily. “If everyone at this school believes it, it might as well be true. And we’re not in the same boat, Jamee! You have friends. You have people who will stand up for you. People who know those rumors aren’t true. You even have a boyfriend!” Angel shook her head. “I don’t have anyone. ”

  “Well, I don’t got a boyfriend anymore,” Jamee told her. “We broke up this morning. ”

  “Over the picture?”

  Jamee hesitated. The picture played a part, but there was more there and Jamee knew it. “Not really,” she said.

  “Look, if you’re trying to make me feel better, forget it. Nothing can make me feel better. I’m probably going to have to transfer again! ” She brushed more tears off her face. “What’s funny is, this summer, I promised myself that I was going to be different in high school, that I would try new things. When I heard about the auditions for cheerleading, I signed up before I could talk myself out of it. I should have known better,” she said bitterly. “I should have known that girls like me don’t get to be cheerleaders—”

  “But Angel, look how far you’ve come!” Jamee pushed the picture from her mind and dropped an arm around Angel’s shoulders. “None of this would’ve happened if you didn’t have a real chance of making it. You’re good. You just need to go out there and do it. And smile!”

  Angel shook her head. “But everyone hates me! None of the girls will even speak to me—”

  “I’m speaking to you! And so is Amberlynn. She knows it was a lie, just like she knows what they said about me isn’t true. And I just talked to two other girls who don’t believe it either! They just hav
en’t said anything because they’re scared—”

  “Because if they say anything, they’ll be next. And they’re right, too. If you hadn’t stuck up for me, this wouldn’t be happening to you, either. ” Angel’s voice shook with emotion. “Why do they hate me so much?”

  Jamee rubbed Angel’s shoulder the way Grandma used to do for her when she was upset. “Probably ’cause you remind them they ain’t as special as they think they are,” she answered. “That ain’t a bad thing, Angel. Don’t let the haters get you down. ” She meant the words to try to cheer Angel up, but saying them made her feel better, too.

  Angel was silent. Jamee knew she was about to walk away and never come back.

  “You can’t quit, Angel. Let’s finish this,” she urged. “C’mon. ”

  Just then Coach Seville’s door swung open. The coach stepped out with her clipboard in hand but stopped when she saw them. “Something wrong?” she asked.

  Jamee knew from her question that she hadn’t seen the picture. Next to her, Angel took a deep breath and wiped her tears away. Her jaw suddenly looked firm, her eyes strong and clear.

  “No, we’re just a little nervous. That’s all,” Angel said.

  Jamee smiled. She knew what it meant. Her talk worked. Angel wasn’t quitting. She was going to audition.

  Coach Seville eyed the girls briefly. “Let’s save the tears until after I’ve posted the final results. For now, focus on the audition. Just do your best. Maybe there’s no reason to cry. Okay?”

  “Yes, Coach,” Jamee and Angel answered together.

  “Good. Now let’s go!” she barked, clapping her hands as the two girls rushed to get dressed.

  The hallway outside the gym buzzed with nervous chatter as Jamee and Angel approached. But as soon as they joined the line, it hushed. Jamee held her head up and tried to pretend she didn’t care, but then Vanessa, Kym, and Renita sauntered over. Tasha was with them too, though her arms were crossed. She looked as if she would like to be somewhere else.

  “Check it out. The lovers are here,” Vanessa said, her voice just loud enough that everyone could hear it. Some snickered, but most were silent, as if they were gathering themselves for the audition.