Second Chance Ranch (The Circle D series)

by Harders, Audra

  He tightened his embrace. “Only that you might leave me again,” he whispered in her hair.

  She pressed her fingers along his ribs as if counting them, her palms pressing him closer to her. “I couldn’t leave you if I tried.”

  * * *

  Cheers floated in through the open health room window. Jen grinned knowing the kids were having fun as she stared at the stack of papers scattered around her. Maybe she wasn’t cut out to be a paper pusher. Health forms and reports vied for her attention, the monotony of legalese and standard issue directives from the hospital board a counterbalance to her whirling emotions. She wanted to get it all done so she could spend the day with Zac tomorrow and not feel guilty about leaving her work undone.

  The echo of another whoop floated into the office. “Sounds like the kids are having way too much fun. I don’t see a ballgame going on. What are they doing?”

  Tina Fenwood looked up from the box of meds she was inventorying. “Last time I looked, there was a crowd along the corral fence. Maybe Patrick has some sort of jousting competition going on.”

  “Hmm.” Unscheduled activities caused alarms to go off in Jen’s brain. She backed from her desk, uncertain she wanted to discover the source of excitement. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

  Stepping out of the health office, an errant breeze bathed her in pine scent. Another cheer went up as she turned and headed toward the corral. Even from a distance she could tell Patrick had nothing to do with this excitement.

  Zac sat atop a sorrel horse, both horse and rider focused on a group of steers across the corral. His lips moved and the horse turned to the left. Up a few paces and quick reflex action, the pair skillfully cut a bald-faced steer from the herd. The steer angled back only to have the horse sidestep in the way. Zac held the reins yet allowed the horse to work the prize to the back corner of the pen before pivoting around and setting the steer free.

  The campers loved it. Zac grinned like a kid who’d scored a grand slam for the home team. The horse looked pretty proud, too.

  Zac urged the horse to the fence and caught her eye across the compound, his triumphant smile giving a crooked tilt to his lips.

  That was all it took? One look from the back of his horse, one guileless grin, and her heart melted like winter ice on the Gunnison River in spring thaw. She couldn’t begin to wonder how she’d avoided seeing him all these years.

  “Alright, everyone. Show’s over. Thanks for being a great audience.” Zac urged the horse to the gate. “I’ve got work to do before the boss lady fires me.”

  She looked up as heat bathed her neck. “I’m not the boss lady, and you’re not the entertainment. Last time I looked, that was Patrick’s job.”

  “Are you going to work with him tomorrow?” A tall, thin boy with glasses stood on the bottom rail of the fence panel, arm stretched out to pet the horse. “This is cool.”

  “Not tomorrow, Brett, I’ve got something going on.” Zac winked at Jen. “But if all goes well, I’ll be back Saturday to see you guys before you leave.”

  Always the optimist, Jen had to give him credit. They’d said harvesting the cells was day surgery, but that didn’t mean Zac would be ready to party with his new BFFs. “Okay everyone, snack time in the barn. Mr. Zac needs to get back to work.”

  “See?” Zac winked at Brett. “Boss lady.”

  Brett giggled and ran off after his friends.

  “Why are you commandeering the kids? Patrick has the schedule all worked out.”

  “And who do you think gave me permission to entertain the troops?” Lifting his leg over the saddle, Zac hit the ground with grace, his denim jeans molding over his long legs like a second skin. Reins in hand, he stepped over to the fence, his cowboy walk better than any swagger.

  Heat raced up her neck. Fine thoughts to have just before surgery. “Didn’t the doctors tell you to take it easy or something today?”

  Tipping his cowboy hat back, he grinned causing the dimples she loved to run deep. “I had to prove I was a cowboy.”

  She cleared her throat. “Why? I told them you’re a cowboy.”

  “Goes with the mystique of the ranch.” He indicated his body with a sweep of his fingers. “Riding jeans, western shirt, cowboy hat. Gotta look the part. What self-respecting cowboy wears ball caps and hiking boots? Besides, Shiner here hasn’t been worked much. I thought I’d give him a run.”

  The smell of sweat and dirt woven with the scent of healthy male drifted over her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath--for composure. She didn’t want to get drawn into his twisted logic. She just wanted to get surgery over with and figure life out from there. Opening her eyes, she leaned against the fence and look into his sweaty, grimy, handsome face. “You are too much.”

  He leaned closer until the brim of his hat bumped her forehead. His strong jaw tempted her until she couldn’t help but run her fingertip along the smooth skin, stopping as his shaggy hair curled over his ear. “You need a haircut, cowboy.”

  Peppermint scented breath warmed her cheek. “I think I need more than a haircut.”

  Firm, gentle lips captured hers. Jen didn’t care she stood in the open, beside a corral, in broad daylight. She kissed him back with a hunger that belied her earlier words of caution and taking it easy. There was nothing easy about her feelings for Zac Davidson. If anything, they confused her more than anything she’d encountered her entire life.

  The scuff of reins hitting the ground came moments before his palm cupped her jaw and Zac deepened their kiss. Jen looped her arms around his neck and pressed against the corral fence that separated them. A low growl rose in Zac’s throat as he snaked his arm through the rails and rested his hand on the curve of her hip.

  Tangling her fingers in the fringe of his hair, Jen inhaled the scent of horse, leather and strong, healthy male. She’d always loved the way Zac smelled, no matter how hard he’d worked or good he looked. She gripped his collar and couldn’t get enough of his kiss.

  “Don’t mean to interrupt.”

  Like a sharp syringe pointed the wrong way, Jen released Zac and backed up against fence. Heart pounding, she drew a breath and tried to steady her shaky hands. Tina stood beside her with a grin that could ignite embarrassment from a mile away.

  “Nice you two are catching up on old times, but Patrick just called. He wants to know why he’s serving a snack when the kids just had lunch?”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “Have you eaten anything in the past 12 hours?” Dr. Jenkins studied his file.

  “No.”

  “Anything besides water to drink?”

  “No.”

  The doctor peered over the paperwork and pointed the eraser of his pencil at Zac. “Did you sleep well last night?”

  “No.”

  Jen grinned at Zac’s curt answers. For all his calm appearance to the world, she knew him well enough to recognize the stress steeped through every fiber of his being. Fear of the unknown brought even the strongest people to their knees. She’d done her best to distract him, but he continually snapped back to silence — his way of dealing with what he couldn’t control.

  She stood beside Zac in the prep room. He sat on the bed in his hospital gown, his long legs dangling as he crossed his ankles. Holding his hand, she felt the tension in the more than occasional squeeze of his cold fingers. She’d tried to rub some warmth into them. No luck.

  “As a show of solidarity, I haven’t eaten anything since last night either.” She peeked over Dr. Jenkins’ paperwork as he made notes in his file.

  “That’s very good, Jennifer. You always were a thoughtful one.” He stopped writing and looked at her. “We miss you around here. Are you coming back soon?”

  “Not unless I have to.” Jennifer smiled as the doctor stood with his back to the door, his white coat open revealing a dark blue shirt and a Garfield the Cat tie. “My plans for the camp are coming along great. I’ll know in the next week or so whether my loan has been approved.”

 
; “Well, your plans sound exactly like what the kids need. Someplace safe to be a kid.” He took his glasses off his nose and slipped them into his breast pocket. “You had a way of calming down our more fearful patients, they didn’t seem as anxious when you were around. If you find being a camp director isn’t for you, you can’t always come back here.”

  She didn’t see that as a possibility. “Thanks, Dr. Jenkins. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  He nodded and turned to Zac. “The attendant will be here soon to take you to surgery. I know I’ve told you before, Zac, but just to recap, this is a very cautious procedure. We’ll be under sterile conditions to avoid any and all contamination of the marrow. There can be complications, although extremely rare for the donor, the onus of complications lie with the recipient. I have your signed consent forms. Do you have any other questions?”

  Zac cleared his throat, his voice obviously dry. “Will I be out for this?”

  “Some doctors use local anesthesia, some general. I prefer a middle of the road “twilight” dose. You’ll be alert during the procedure, but won’t feel anything, but if you do, tell us. Coming out of the lighter anesthesia and the recovery afterwards is easier on you.”

  Zac nodded. Jen wanted to wrap her arms around him like she had her pediatric patients and reassure him everything would be fine. “I’ll be beside you when you wake up, hopefully before you wake up.”

  Shaking his head, Dr. Jenkins offered Zac a kind smile. “It’s not a lengthy procedure. We’ll have you back in recovery in no time at all. Once we know you’re stable, you’re free to go home.” He looked at Jen. “Are you driving back to Hawk Ridge this evening?”

  “I think he’ll rest better at home.” She tugged on Zac’s hand. “I promise to pull over and feed you if you’re hungry.”

  Skepticism arched his brow. “That makes me feel better.”

  Dr. Jenkins nodded. “Zac, I’ll see you on the other side of the procedure.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  After the door closed behind the doctor, Zac released her hand and held his arms open to Jen. She slipped into his embrace, all her maternal instincts on high alert. “It’ll be fine, Zac. I know it’ll be a lot easier than stabilizing pneumonia.”

  “I was ten. I don’t remember much of that.” A catch in his voice belied his nonchalant dismissal. The winter he’d suffered pneumonia almost killed him. He held her tighter. “Is this really going to help, Jen?”

  “It will.” Jen scrambled for any encouragement she could think of. “This transplant of cells will give Carli a fighting chance. Once her blood cells begin to rejuvenate, she’ll be on the up side of this battle.”

  “Doesn’t she have to be here for this to happen?”

  She brushed her fingers over the warm skin of his back between the edges of his gown. “In most cases, donors are found through the bone marrow registry - it’s national - so more often than not, the donor and recipient are in different states.”

  “Mind boggling.”

  “The miracle of modern medicine. They extract bone marrow here, ice it down, put it on a plane and next thing you know, they’ll be prepping the recipient for a transplant.”

  He sat silent a moment. “The recipient. That’s all she is. Just doesn’t seem right.”

  Before she could form the words to remind him Carli was more than just a nameless recipient, he hugged her close and blew a sharp breath. “I’ve come to terms with it. Everything you said was true. Neither of us could have raised a child when we were barely adults ourselves.” He released her and instead reached for her hand. For the first time since the doctor left them alone, Zac met her gaze. “We’re adults now. And I don’t want to make the same mistake twice. We can still have children. We can do it right this time.”

  The depth of need so apparent in his dark eyes, her heart jumped and then settled back into an erratic rhythm. “Zac, we can talk about this after the procedure is over. Right now, we need to pray you through the next couple of hours.”

  “I’ve prayed for the last few days — and not only about this transplant. God’s giving us a second chance.” Interlocking their fingers, he pulled her toward him. She reached down and steadied herself against his thigh, his firm muscles contoured beneath the hospital gown. “I can’t believe it took me so long to tell you I love you. I want to say it all the time.”

  His lips pressed against hers and all the shame of her yesterdays melted away into the hope of today. There was hope…hope for all of them. She ran her fingers through his thick hair, her palm brushing against the smooth skin of his jaw. Their kiss deepened and all Jen wanted was for the day to be over and them on their way back home.

  He trailed kisses across her cheek until he found a sensitive spot beneath her ear. The tingle that raced down her spine confused her as much as it comforted. Zac. Her Zac. Why was life so difficult to sort out when he was around? “Let’s work on things one at a time, okay? First, we get through today and then we’ll see what tomorrow brings.”

  People spoke just outside the door. The time had come. She started to break away when Zac tugged her back and captured her in another kiss. She melted. She stepped back just as the attendant opened the door.

  “Mr. Davidson?” A slender, good-natured fellow with closely cropped blond hair stepped into the room. “Ready to go?”

  Jen moved out of the way as Zac brought his feet up on the gurney, carefully tucking his hospital gown around him. The other man eased the covers over him and the blond locked the wheels in place. He smiled encouragement to Jennifer.

  “He’ll be back before you know it.”

  Jen grabbed Zac’s hand as the bed began to move. She paced alongside, careful not to trip up the attendants. When they got to the double doors leading into surgery, she pulled up close and gave a Zac a quick kiss.

  “I’ll be here when you got out.”

  “I’m counting on it.”

  The attendants pushed through the doors, leaving Jen standing and watching until the doors closed. She took a moment to gather her wits. Things were moving too fast. She never juggled priorities, but now she had so many emotions in the air, she didn’t know what to grab first. She needed a couple of hours to grapple with her thoughts and bring order back into her toppled life.

  Walking back to the cubicle, she grabbed her purse and headed toward the lounge area. Food. And coffee. Lots of coffee. She pushed the door open leading out of the prep area and turned the corner toward the vending machines. Footsteps clipped down the hallway behind her.

  “Jennifer.”

  Jen turned. Grace and Martin Davidson walked toward her and behind them, her father.

  “What’s wrong? What happened?” Grace ran her hand down Jen’s arm as her gaze locked with Jen’s. “Are you okay? Where’s Zac?”

  Jen looked from Grace to Martin, and then glanced at her father. The grim set to his lips said it all. Ever since her mother had died, Jen knew he’d expected her to do the right thing and not distract him with poor behavior. All her careful planning…all her secrecy over her pregnancy…all the pain she’d bottled up inside herself just so he wouldn’t be disappointed in her, now drained from her soul with the force of a tsunami.

  “You weren’t supposed to find out.”

  “Find out what?” Grace kept her serious gray eyes trained on Jen, completely crumbling Jen’s last defenses. “Is Zac sick? Is that why he came to you? Because you’re a nurse?”

  Jen shook her head, moisture building in her eyes. She’d shouldn’t be having this conversation with the Davidsons. Or her father. She wasn’t prepared, and when she wasn’t prepared for things, her words came out all wrong. Please Lord, put the words in my mouth.

  “Your father got a call from a doctor here at the hospital saying Zac had been admitted and that you were with him.” Martin said over Grace’s shoulder. “He didn’t say why.”

  Dad has friends in all the right places. She should have known something like this wouldn’t be kept a secret for long
.

  “You’re frightening me, Jennifer. Say something.” Grace dug her fingers into Jen’s forearm. “It’s serious, isn’t it? Some disease, right?” Her voice quaked as she drew a breath. “Why are you and Zac at the hospital in Denver? Why--”

  “Zac is donating his bone marrow to a child who is suffering with a form of leukemia.” The words blurted out of her. There was so much to say, she didn’t know where to begin. “His DNA matched.”

  “That’s why he was in the clinic in Hawk Ridge, right?” her father said quietly. “You’d been tested earlier.”

  “I wasn’t a match.” The tears pooled and slid down her cheek. “I wanted to be. I didn’t want there to be any trouble over this.”

  Grace placed her hand over her heart as if the pressure might calm her. “Trouble? Why would you think there’d be trouble over trying to help someone?” She glanced at Jen’s dad. “Who in Hawk Ridge needs a transplant, James?

  He gave a slight shrug. “No one in town.”

  Martin frowned. “Then, who needs bone marrow? And why Zac’s?”

  There was no way around it. The secret she’d been hiding for so many years couldn’t be kept any longer. “Our daughter.”

  Grace stepped back. Martin turned to grasp the arm of a chair and sat down his free hand covering his chest.

  Her father simply closed his eyes and hung his head.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  She sounded so far away.

  Zac focused on Jen’s voice. He tried to tilt his head to the side, but it didn’t make her words any clearer. Other sounds swam around him, or maybe they were voices, too. He didn’t know. He didn’t care.

  He just wanted to find Jen.

  His eyelids felt as if they’d been glued shut with rubber cement. A watery haze blurred his vision. He blinked until he recognized the swatch of denim fabric that dipped in and out of his vision. “Jen.”