Second Chance Ranch (The Circle D series)

by Harders, Audra

  “I’m right here.” Her fingers squeezed his. “Just like I said I would be.”

  Silky blonde strands tickled his neck. Her nose brushed across his cheek as her breath warmed his cheek. The faint scent of her shampoo greeted him like a long lost friend. His best friend.

  “Marry me.” His raw throat rebelled against his voice. A coughing spasm gripped his chest as he tried to moisten his throat. Fisting his hand, he tried to lay still against the hacks.

  “Take a sip.” She slipped a hand beneath his head and supported him as she pressed a cup of water to his lips. “They had an issue come up and had to put you under. Nothing serious, but your throat will be a bit sore for a while.” She let just enough of the liquid trickle into his mouth. The spasms stopped and his eyes opened wider, the haze gone.

  Jen stood over him, her blue eyes bright in contrast to the darker circles beneath her lashes. Strands of her hair draped down to his cheek, swiping away the last of his fog. She was right, there was nothing to this donating bone marrow. He couldn’t remember falling asleep. How long had be been out? He shifted to sit up.

  “No, no, no, don’t move.” Her hand cupped his shoulder and held him still. “You’ll get nauseated.”

  “Jen.” He tested his vocal cords as he cleared his throat. “I feel fine.”

  “Good, because we have company.”

  Pain shot through his neck and head as he tried to move his head. His mother appeared beside Jennifer.

  “Zac. Why didn’t you tell us?” She controlled her voice when he winced at the tone. “We figured something was up, but nothing like this. We were worried sick that you’d contracted some disease.”

  His father cleared his throat on the other side of the bed, but Zac didn’t dare move to look at him. “I can explain.”

  “I’m sure you can. Just like always.” She tucked the blanket beneath him, her nervous energy needing an outlet. “At least you had Jennifer watching out for you. Like she always has.”

  Seemed like a good time to anchor himself in Jen’s tired smile. The soft brush of her fingertips along the back of his neck dissipated his building tension. “It’s just some tests.”

  She tapped his neck and nodded toward his mother. “They know.”

  “They know?” he echoed, the words settled on his mind, his fogged brain hindering immediate comprehension.

  “About the transplant.”

  The transplant. Alarms went off in his head as he held his breath. He stared into Jen’s smiling blue eyes and regrouping his thoughts. “Did it go okay?”

  She nodded as blonde wisps of hair brushed her cheek. “Marrow all packed up and waiting for a flight to New York.”

  Tension drained from his shoulders. He wanted to kiss her. Tears burned behind his eyes as he blinked at the moisture.

  “Jennifer was a tough one to crack, but having her cornered for a few hours worked to our advantage.” Grace continued to pluck at his blanket. “A child. She had a child and gave it away. I can’t imagine the pain.”

  “Grace, Martin, this was a long time ago—”

  She waved away excuses. “You’re a strong girl, but not that strong. No one should go through something like that alone.”

  “I wasn’t alone, and it was a long time ago.” Though Jen spoke her words softly, Zac knew it cost her more than she’d ever let on. She withdrew her comforting touch and backed away from the bed. She stopped at the door, a tight smile etched on her face. “Since Zac’s awake, I need to step out for a moment. I’ll be back soon.”

  Zac wanted to hold her beside him, keep her near and offer her all the support he hadn’t before. He wanted to tell her he loved her and wanted her forever, but she opened the hospital room door and disappeared before he could even grab for air.

  “Are you feeling okay, Zac?” His mother squeezed his hand, her voice as gentle as it had been years ago when he’d fallen off his horse and she wanted to distract him while she checked for broken bones. Back then, he didn’t recognize the tactic; now he knew she reserved that tone to keep all her fiercest worries at bay.

  He needed to keep their conversation at a surface level until he understood what his parents knew. And his brain wasn’t so foggy. “The doctor told me there was nothing to this surgery and he was right. Nothing but a headache and a catch in my back.” He tried to straighten up until pain shot up his side. He stopped in mid-stretch.

  “Don’t move. Jennifer told us what to watch for,” his dad’s quiet voice commanded. Martin stepped up to the rail along the other side of his bed. He reached out and gripped Zac’s forearm. “We would have supported your decision no matter what, you know. We love Jen as family. I wish you would have told us.”

  What was he supposed to say? She hadn’t told him until a couple of weeks ago. “We were young. It was the course we were most comfortable with.” As the words left his lips, Zac realized they were true. They had been kids back then. He’d made party-ing a graduate level challenge. For all the hurt and confusion he’d wallowed in over the past days, his bottom line reflected exactly what Jen had endured.

  By herself. All alone.

  “I know you and Jen gave this a lot of thought before taking such drastic action.’ Grace drew a breath, the ragged edge of her emotions caught on her last word. “Both of you have good heads on your shoulders. I just hope it wasn’t a decision you’ll look back on and regret.”

  Zac looked from his mom to his dad. Strong, loving, Christian parents who never backed down from any challenge their three boys had thrown their way. They’d been there to support Nick when his wife died; they kept Gabe from working himself to death before Melanie came along. They took Jennifer and Kade in when their mother died and their father was too steeped in his own grief to realize his kids needed comfort and hugs. Grace and Martin Davidson understood the meaning of love. A gift Zac had always taken for granted.

  Everything surrounding this operation forced him to look his life smack in the eye — and he didn’t like what he saw.

  “Mom, Dad, forgive me.” He glanced at both of them, the lines of love and worry a familiar sight. “There are a lot of things I’ve done that I’m not proud of, but loving Jennifer O’Reilly isn’t one of them. Both of us have decisions to make over the next few weeks and I promise I’ll share them with you. Jen and I have some things to discuss.”

  His dad patted his arm and winked. “So we heard.”

  * * *

  The muted colors of the wallpaper calmed her mind as Jen walked along the corridor that led from patient rooms to the waiting area. She’d been taken off guard when they’d found her before Zac’s surgery, but she was never surprised. Grace and Martin Davidson had an uncanny way of knowing everything. She shouldn’t have been any more surprised to see her dad with them. After all, this was a hospital — her dad’s lifeblood.

  The day surgery lobby was spacious and light. Plants of all leafy varieties broke up the sitting areas for privacy. At least as much privacy as one expected in a lobby area. She circled around one group of chairs and headed toward a back sitting area. She didn’t want anyone to see her cry.

  No one was supposed to find out about Carli. Then the letter came…she wasn’t a match…Zac was. She’d wanted Carli to remain a secret forever, but secrets like this had a mind of their own. Okay, so Zac knew. She could live with that. But then Grace and Martin showed up. She’d never been good at lying. She had to tell them or have them worried sick over Zac and the procedure. But that wasn’t the worst. The worst was…

  She skirted a side table and headed toward the back of the waiting area. A man stood from his seat and held out his hands…

  …Her father had found out. “Daddy.”

  Tears slipped down her face faster than she could swipe them away. He met her half way and wrapped her in a hug she didn’t remember ever receiving from her dad. Sobs shook her, the force of her frustration knocking her off balance. But her dad held on tightly until every last tear squeezed out.

  “Feel be
tter now, baby? You’ve been holding that in a long time.” He patted her back with one loving hand as they stood there behind the potted palm. “I think you’ve held in those tears since your mother died.”

  “Daddy,” she sniffed. “It hurts.”

  Sunshine poured in through the slated blinds. From the angle, Jen figured it was early afternoon. Seemed like forever ago they’d left Hawk Ridge, went through prep, the surgery and then recovery. Had it all happened in one day? Jen sagged against her dad, his strong arms supporting her leading her to the couch. She sat down and pushed her hair from eyes as her dad sat beside her. She’d been a nurse for years…some of those years spent working shifts in this very hospital. Why did everything feel so unreal?

  “Jennifer, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you or your brother.” Dad rested his wrist on his knee, flexing the muscles in his hand. “I’m the worst father ever put on this earth for not thinking about how your mother’s death must have affected you. I won’t make excuses or minimize it. Until this morning, I never even thought anything was wrong in your life.”

  You weren’t supposed to know. I had everything under control. “I’m okay, Dad. Parents can’t shield their kids from all the hurts in the world. You did your best.”

  “I didn’t do anything except feel sorry for myself. What you’ve gone through…what you and Zac have gone through,” his voice caught and he cleared his throat. “…is exactly what I’d hoped to protect you from. No matter which road you took, it wasn’t easy.”

  Confused by his sentiment, Jen tucked her chin and frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  “Life. Life tends to repeat itself.”

  “Dad, I got pregnant and gave away my child. How does that compare to anything?”

  A call for a Dr. Wilton came over for the intercom. Her dad glanced up and studied the ceiling. “Your mother was just a little older than you were when she got pregnant, only we got married. I was in my first year of practice and loved every moment of it. I loved your mother, too so I didn’t think getting married would be much of change. After all, we spent every moment I wasn’t at the hospital together. Money was so very tight, but we made it work.”

  “Dad, I never even gave Zac a chance.”

  His gaze roamed everywhere but at her. “When Kade was born, he was the most beautiful baby ever. Your mother spent every minute with him and caring for the house while I worked wicked hours at the hospital. I was trying to establish myself and provide for my family.” His voice went low as if trying to figure out some question he’d contemplated a long time. “When she got pregnant again, I began to panic. Supporting a wife and baby, paying off school loans, and trying to help her as much as I could began to take its toll…we started to bicker. I passed it off as pregnancy instability for all of us.”

  “Hormones change a person, Dad. I wasn’t very rational when I was pregnant.” Rational was the last thing she was. She’d cried over cakes that burned, hot water in the shower…cold water in the shower, the lead in her pencil breaking. Anything that didn’t follow her planned course had thrown her for a loop. She never showed her instability in class, but at home? Thankfully, Lisa had been a very patient person.

  A slow shake of his head acknowledged her encouragement. “By the time you were born, I didn’t have a compassionate bone left in me. There were too many things demanding my attention, so I evaluated them one at a time and decide the best thing for my family was to work and support your needs. I dove into work leaving your mother with all the other problems. God had mercy on her and gifted her with two great children. She never had a problem with you…it was me she didn’t know how to deal with. My schedule was erratic, she could never count on my being home. When I was home, I was either sleeping or playing with you two. I never made time for my wife. After a while, she just gave up, she said she couldn’t compete with a mistress that wasn’t flesh and blood.”

  “I never heard her complain.” Jen continued to grip her hands together, the entire revelation very unsettling to her. Her mother smiled all the time and always had time for her. She remembered her mom tucking her in bed and then sitting in the front room with a book waiting for dad to come home. “She adored you.”

  “She adored you.” Her father was quick to correct. “Jennifer, your mother was a saint. You and Kade never wanted for love. She poured her life out on you. Me? You two accepted me and my absences because you never knew differently. We looked like a happy family to everyone except Barb and myself.” He drew a ragged breath. “She developed cancer when you were nine. That was the fight that drew every last ounce of life from both of us. Thankfully, the Lord didn’t let her suffer. She died in her sleep.”

  The house had become empty. Cold and dark. Nothing she or Kade could do sparked any interest in her dad. “Dad, you grieved so hard. I was worried about you.”

  “Honey, I grieved over a relationship that never had a chance. When Grace Davidson scooped you and Kade up and told me not to worry about you and to go about making arrangements, it was like a weighty burden of dread had fallen off my shoulders. I didn’t know what to do with you and Kade. All I knew was work.” His laugh held no humor. “You stayed at the Circle D for so long I was worried that Grace and Martin would petition for custody. We all got back together at home and fell into a routine. Both you and your brother had found a second home at the Circle D and I wasn’t going to rock the boat. I didn’t want to.”

  She reached out and ran her palm over his forearm, the hairs soft over smooth skin. Nothing compared to the rugged strength of a rancher. Of Zac.

  He placed his hand over hers and patted it. “It surprised the heck out of me that you wanted to go into nursing. I never thought you saw anything in your old man worth emulating.”

  I went into nursing to learn about cancer. I missed mom. I wanted to understand. I understand now. “You’re a good father, Dad. I never asked for anything more.” From you...

  * * *

  Jen stood in the parking lot as parents arrived to pick up the tired campers. The late session of camp worked, but she’d have to gear it toward the heartier children since the nights had definitely gotten colder and the mornings were slow to warm. Hawk Ridge was beautiful in the fall, the fields golden as they surrounded the thousand pound bales of hay ready to be picked up. She grinned. Zac had done a great job as a hired hand. Maybe if he was tired of dollar signs and bank balances, he’d consider working for her.

  The thought made her warm inside even as her joy dimmed. Zac wanted the Trails’ End, too. He wasn’t going to stoop to working for her if she was awarded the ranch. She fingered the cell phone in the back pocket of her jeans. Trevor Hockett had called and left a couple of messages while she’d been dealing with Zac and the transplant. She had to remember to call him back.

  If Trevor had good news for her, it probably meant bad news for Zac and he’d probably never speak to her again. Stealing his dream was not going to endear her to him. Still, she’d never backed down from a fight. All her life, if she wanted something bad enough, she’d found a way to get it.

  And despite all his cockiness and bravado, she wanted Zac… she’d always wanted Zac. Talk about a lose-lose situation.

  “Jennifer.” A little girl with thin pigtails called as she ran up to her. “Can I come back to camp next year?”

  “You can come back anytime you want, Carrie Ann.” Jen smiled at the parents following their daughter, then focused back on the girl. “The Trails’ End will always welcome you here, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you were strong enough to take a vacation anywhere you wanted by next summer. Did you tell your parents about the soccer game? You played the whole time.”

  “I did, Mom.” She grabbed her mother’s hand. “I played back field and even stopped the ball so the other team wouldn’t get the goals. It was so much fun.”

  She intercepted the dad’s concerned look. “We have special rules about playing soccer here at the ranch. There were no injuries, not even a bandage-worthy scratch
.”

  Carrie Ann nodded. “Even the boys followed the rules. And Dad, Zac took us for a ride in his tractor. I got to stand behind him while he drove. The tractor was so big, I could see the whole world!”

  “That sounds like quite an adventure, honey,” he grabbed his daughter’s hand. “We’ll see how next year works out. Thank you, Jennifer, for the happy experience.”

  “My pleasure,” she said as the family turned to walk away. The little girl clung to her parents’ hands as she talked a mile a minute. Happiness welled up through Jennifer. This was her goal. Bring smiles to the faces of these brave children. She’d worked the pediatrics oncology floor at the hospital in Denver. She knew what these kids had survived. She wanted to offer them some small reward for the battles they’d endured, even if it was only spending a couple of weeks at her mountain camp.

  “Ms. O’Reilly?”

  Jennifer glanced over as an older man approached her. “Yes?”

  “I want to thank you for putting the excitement back into my grandson.” He pointed to a little boy helping his brother pack up a Lincoln Navigator parked in front of the boys’ bunkhouse. “Mark didn’t want to come to camp and now we’re having a hard time convincing him to leave.”

  “Thank you for your kind words.” Jen searched the aged face and saw true appreciation. “We try to show the kids they can do anything if they put their minds to it.”

  “Even dancing.” The man laughed and shook his head. “Mark couldn’t stop talking about how a real cowboy liked to dance. He figured if a cowboy who could rope a calf danced, it couldn’t be that bad.”

  “He said that? I remember quite a different attitude from our Mr. Mark that night.”

  “C’mon, Ms. O’Reilly. Do you really think a twelve year old boy is going to admit to a room full of his peers that he actually liked doing something unmanly?”

  Jen laughed. “I see your point.” She offered her hand. “Please call me Jennifer. It was a pleasure having Mark with us.”

  He shook her hand. “Les Ralston. I’m always looking for ways to make this world a better place like the good Lord tells us to do. I’d like to sit down and talk to you about sponsoring scholarships for children to attend your camp. If you could put a smile like that on Mark’s face, I want as many children as possible to experience the joy.”