Dark Diary

by Anastasia,P.

  I reached across the table for my tunic and paused at the sound of footsteps outside my door. Muffled voices followed. I pried open the door to investigate and was startled by a swift lunge at my throat.

  I choked and gasped as two large, heavily-built men grabbed ahold of my arms and jerked me outside and into the nearby field. I had barely caught my breath before the stench of their foul body odor wrinkled my nose. I didn’t recognize their faces, but the scent of alcohol lacing their skin had me assuming they were friends of Lord Shallon.

  “Where are you taking me!?” I called out, fighting to free myself. “What have I done?” Neither man answered.

  I trusted Kathryn to keep silent, but our secret was beginning to wear heavily on my conscience.

  Had she told him something about us?

  I couldn’t keep my footing as I was dragged forcefully across the property, over a rocky stretch of dirt and fallen branches. Mounds of stones and twigs grazed my bare feet, leaving them scraped and bloodied from the treacherous journey.

  We paused. I brought my head up and stopped breathing.

  My… God…

  They released me and I fell to my knees upon a dusty pile of sand and rocks. On each side of me stood a tall wooden pole. There was about six feet between them and brown traces of old blood stained the ropes that dangled ominously from each side. I had imagined some of the torturous things Lord Shallon had done to those who had discredited him, but this petrified me.

  “Please! Tell me what I have done wrong!” I flinched as dry, crusty threads dug into my flesh. They wrapped the ends of the rope in tight knots around my wrists. My arms rose up and out to the sides as they pulled the ropes tautly around the poles until I was unable to move in either in direction. My arms burned from the pressure of my shoulders being tempted from their sockets and I clenched my jaw.

  A hearty laugh came from the distance.

  “Well, well, well…” Kathryn’s father croaked. “I knew someday you would be trouble, boy.” His deep, sadistic voice sent shivers up my spine, numbing the sting of the shredded ropes around my wrists.

  “What have I done, my Lord?” If I was to be punished, I at least wanted to know the reason. “Tell me. Please!”

  The piercing crack of a leather whip shocked my ears and I craned my neck in the direction of the sound.

  Lord Shallon came out from behind me, his hands drawn out to the sides with thick straps of a whip stretched tight between them.

  “So… you think you can pick up anything you want and take it with you,” he growled. “Not in my place. Not on my land. Here… my servants obey me.” He snapped the whip.

  “I took nothing!” I cried hoarsely. Sweat drizzled from my forehead into my eyes and fear strangled the air from my lungs as panic set in.

  He disappeared from sight and I braced myself.

  CRACK!

  The strike rattled my spine and sent me reeling forward. I gritted my teeth, but it did nothing to dull the pain of the rigid strap slicing into my bare back.

  “Please, my Lord, I swear it!”

  CRACK!

  The breath was knocked from me. I coughed hard. My entire body shook from the deep ache ripping across my skin.

  CRACK!

  Again… and again. Each successive strike intensified the hellish heat of the leather tearing into my flesh; each blow was stronger than the previous one.

  CRACK!

  I howled in pain and lunged forward, my body hanging by bloodied, tattered ropes as my eyes watered. My mouth became dry and I could barely swallow. Fresh blood drizzled from the wounds and my surroundings blurred, shifting in and out of focus. The searing fire pumped through me like poison, flooding and stinging every inch of me.

  He snapped the whip back and I was tempted to bite my tongue to prevent myself from crying out again.

  “Father, stop!” Kathryn yowled, her sharp voice quaking with fear. She was not far from where I was. “Stop! He has stolen nothing from you!”

  Kathryn came tumbling down to her knees at my side and I felt the weight of her arms across my shoulders. My vision was fuzzy, but I could make out the pale blue fringe of her skirt fanned out near my legs. I didn’t have the strength to lift my head.

  “How do you know this?” Lord Shallon growled. I could not see his face, but he sounded disappointed about having to halt the abuse.

  Kathryn’s trembling hands held tightly to my bloody shoulders, but it was a pain I welcomed.

  “I know this, F-Father, because… I…” She stumbled over her words. “Because…”

  “I gave them to him,” Lady Maria, Kathryn’s mother, interrupted. “Let the boy be. He has done nothing to scorn you. I gave him those clothes. You had no use for them!”

  She motioned for her daughter to untie the ropes binding my hands, but Kathryn had already begun to do so, her precious fingers painted red with my blood.

  “And you two should be ashamed of yourselves for hurting this innocent lad.” Lady Shallon sent a piercing gaze toward her husband’s accomplices. “Get out of here.” With the show now over, they obeyed, slithering reluctantly out from view.

  Lord Shallon scoffed angrily at his wife. “You cannot treat the servants so well or they’ll assume they are privileged.”

  “He is human like the rest of us.” Maria’s voice rose and one of her hands came to grace my shoulder. “I will treat him as one.” She leaned over and helped pull me to my feet. “I will tend your wounds back at the manor, Matthaya.”

  “No!” Kathryn wrapped her hands tightly around my arm. “I will tend to him, Mother.” She pulled me in her direction and lifted my arm across her shoulder to help me balance.

  Each step sent a shockwave of pain through my ribs, but Kathryn’s presence gave me the courage to bear it.

  “I am sorry,” she said, frowning. She returned to where I sat at her bedside and brought a bowl of water. “I did not mean for any of this to happen.” Kathryn squeezed the excess water from a white cloth and patted it gently against my back. I stifled the urge to cough.

  “You did not want them to begin with and I should not have left them for you,” she said, dipping the bloody cloth back into the bowl and then wringing it out again. “I had no idea my father was capable of such cruelty.”

  I had.

  I hadn’t even had the time to notice that she had left the clothes for me outside my room during the night.

  “I made a mistake, Matthaya.” Her voice shuddered as she wrung out another handful of blood into the bowl. “I did not think he would assume what he did.” She shook her head and exhaled a sigh. “I am such a fool.”

  The ache dulled for a moment and I turned toward her. A tear rolled down her face and she used her forearm to wipe it away, hoping I wouldn’t notice.

  I hated to see Kathryn cry because I could do very little to ease her suffering. With each fresh tear, I yearned to take her into my arms and comfort her—feel her breath on my skin.

  But… I could not, because if ever I did wrap my arms around her… I would never let her go.

  “It’s not your fault, Kathryn,” I assured her with a gentle nudge. “I am grateful for your bravery.” I trailed the back of my fingers down her cheek and smiled. “Thank you.”

  She scooted closer to me and rested her face lightly against my chest.

  I inhaled slowly.

  The smell of her hair was intoxicating. Wonderful. The essence of rose oil drifted from her skin and she felt warm and real against me.

  For a brief moment my pain subsided. Not the pain of my wounds, but the one in my heart—the eternal longing I had for her. I wanted to take her into an embrace, but stopped myself from doing so.

  “Are you alright?” I tucked a curl of her soft hair behind her ear as she lifted her face from my chest.

  “I will be.” She sniffled and twisted around to take up a stack of cloth bandages from her dresser.

  The greasy, dark yellow o
intment she applied stung like hellfire, but she assured me it would keep the wounds from becoming infected. She then wrapped a cloth across each line of broken flesh and secured them around my ribs for support. The work was intricate but done with a gentle and skilled hand. I had no idea she had such good bedside manner.

  “You can remove them in a day or two, once the bleeding has stopped and the wounds have dried,” she said. Her fingers followed the lines of her handiwork. “I…” she began, a stutter catching at her tongue. She cleared her throat and rolled her shoulders back. “I know that what you said to me yesterday was a lie, Matthaya.”

  “What?” I turned to her.

  “I know it within my soul,” she continued, her voice breaking with emotion. “You cannot deny it.”

  Kathryn’s silky fingertips traced my brow and slid down the side of my cheek to my chin where she brushed her thumb across my lower lip. My body gravitated toward her involuntarily.

  “Can you?” she whispered, leaning closer to me as the words slid off her tongue. Her rose oil perfume teased my nose again and I fell silent.

  Her eyes devoured me and, without letting me answer, she slid her other hand to the back of my neck and brought her lips to mine.

  There was a knock on her door and before I had even tasted her breath, Kathryn pulled away.

  “Kathryn,” her mother called. “May I come in?”

  Kathryn’s cheeks flushed and her eyes sheepishly avoided me. She reached for the clean tunic she had brought and placed it in my lap, still avoiding my gaze.

  “Yes, Mother,” she replied, shifting a few inches away from me on the bed.

  Maria entered, scanned the bowl of bloody water on the dresser, then the bandages across my chest.

  “How are you?” She tilted her head.

  She seemed concerned.

  “I am better, Milady,” I answered with a bow of my head. “Thank you.” I shrugged the shirt over my shoulders as quickly as I could without hurting myself, and then laced up the leather strings at my collar.

  “Kathryn.” Her mother approached. “I would like a word with the boy. Alone.”

  Her daughter seemed shocked to hear such a thing, but doing as requested, stood and made her way to her door.

  “I will be in the hall if you need me,” Kathryn said with a curtsey toward her mother.

  “Shut the door, please,” Maria added sharply, before Kathryn had fully left the room.

  The door clicking shut gave me goose bumps.

  Lady Shallon shook her head, took a seat in a chair just across from me, and crossed her legs beneath her dress.

  “Matthaya, there is something you must understand about my daughter,” she began, licking her lips as she gathered her thoughts. “She is young… impulsive and impressionable. She does not comprehend the consequences of her actions.”

  My eyes narrowed.

  “I know how she feels about you,” she said, intertwining her fingers to hide her frustration. “You must not let it be.”

  “But we have been friends since we were small children,” I defended. “I have done nothing to make her think any differently of me.”

  “You don’t have to!” Her hands flinched. She tried to keep her composure. “You are merely a novelty to her. The fire of her naivety will fade in time.”

  “Is that what you want?” I sneered, speaking a dangerous tone to my superior. “For the precious fire within her to wither and die?”

  “We have to do what we must to preserve our name. She will be married off soon and you cannot be a temptation to her in the meantime. You must push her away.”

  A temptation? How could she refer to me as such? I had made absolutely no effort to tempt Kathryn and I never would. I recognized the boundaries of servitude all too well to dare cross them.

  “It’s not just that,” she added. “If my husband suspects something, he’ll surely—”

  “Beat me?” A flare of rage roiled within me. My fingers drifted over the bandage across my ribs. “I’d sooner wish for death than go through this again.”

  “Matthaya…”

  “No!” I stood from Kathryn’s bed and glared at Maria, my hands curling into fists. “All of these years we have been friends and you have done nothing to discourage that. Now, you want me to send her away like she is a servant to be dismissed.” I unclenched my fists and took a deep breath. “I will do it if you ask. But, I will do it my way. Kathryn is a delicate creature, and if you force her against her will, there will be more blood on your hands than merely my own.”

  Her eyes grew wide. “Matthaya!?”

  I knew Kathryn well enough to know that I spoke the truth.

  “I will do it soon,” I added. “But you will leave us be until then.”

  I bowed only halfway this time. My head lowered and we locked cold stares.

  “Good day, Milady.”

  SEVERAL DAYS HAD PASSED, and Kathryn and I did not discuss what had happened between us. And, despite my warnings, it seemed Maria was keeping a close eye on my every move.

  She would leave us be.

  I slipped Raven’s bridle down over his ears and tightened the straps beneath his chin and throat. I gave his neck a gentle stroke and spoke softly to the incredible beast.

  He was a beautiful, strong Friesian horse, midnight black with a glossy sheen in the sunlight, and Kathryn’s prize since he had been broken to ride several years ago. Lord Shallon often used his horses for hunting, but Raven was reserved only for his daughter’s pleasure.

  A muffled snort pressed into my shoulder as his head rubbed against me eagerly. The long tufts of fur at his hooves flickered in the straw as he twitched with anticipation.

  “Calm down, boy.” I patted him on his neck. He pulled and tugged excitedly at his bridle as I opened the stable door to lead him out.

  He had been left in my care—as all the horses had been—and I could read his movements better than anyone in the manor. I’d been working with him since he was a colt. Raven was a magnificently powerful creature and we had grown close throughout the years.

  I took hold of his mane in one hand and vaulted up onto his back.

  “Kathryn!”

  She pulled her window drapes aside and glanced down at me from her window.

  The shutters flung open and she rushed out onto her balcony.

  “What are you doing, Matthaya?” she asked, resting her hands on the patio banister and peering over the edge at me. Excitement sparkled in her eyes.

  Raven’s reins were tight in my other hand, but he would hardly stand still. I stretched out an arm toward her and called out again.

  “Kathryn, come!”

  She disappeared from the banister and reappeared around the back of the manor, trotting toward me with the skirt of her dress hiked up to her ankles and the pleats bunched in her hands.

  “Where are you taking Raven?” she asked, teasing the end of his snout with her fingers. He flapped his lips happily at her.

  “The same place I am taking you,” I replied flatly. “We must speak—in private.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “In private?” Her words echoed mine and her voice became hushed. “Do they know you’re doing this?”

  I didn’t have to look up to know Maria was watching us from her bedroom window as we spoke.

  “They know enough, yes.” I slid back on Raven just enough to make room for her.

  I bent down and stretched my arm out to help pull Kathryn up and in front of me. She grabbed his mane and tossed her other leg over. Her dress draped across Raven’s withers and her bare ankles dangled in front of mine. She passionately hated to ride like a lady—sidesaddle. This way made the trip much easier, though, since I wouldn’t have to hold so tightly to her when we picked up pace.

  “Where are we going?” Kathryn asked, twisting around and leaning back just enough to meet my eyes.

  I tightened my grip on the reins and pressed my forearms closer to her waist
as I squeezed my heels inward, asking Raven to speed up into a swift trot. His body was strong as a wolf’s, but his fluid gait was smooth and pleasant.

  Past a few acres of grass and fence line, we came upon a clearing just behind a row of trees that bordered the back of the property. By the look of the tall underbrush, the land had not been touched for some time. I guided Raven through the forest maze and into a shallow clearing not far in. There, I dismounted and helped Kathryn down.

  In every direction, there were trees and leaves blocking most of the view, and I finally felt secure enough to tell Kathryn what I had to say.

  She smoothed her dress down her knees, knelt down onto the ground, and picked a small bunch of wildflowers from the grass. She tucked one into the crease behind her ear and turned back toward me with a smile.

  Enchanting as a forest sprite.

  The colorful accent brought out her innocence… and beauty.

  We had almost kissed the other day, and now the mere thought of her sent quivers of agony through my veins. What restraint I had to maintain around her! She was the first thought in my mind each time I awoke, and catching a glimpse of her devilish smile left my lips moist with the memory of hers so fatefully close to mine. Kathryn didn’t deserve the sinful visions I had recently begun having of her.

  And yet, she teased me again and again with her charm. She feared nothing and I feared everything.

  She remained blind to the impossible nature of our relationship and I despised that.

  “What did you want to tell me, Matthaya?” She came closer and brought a hand to my face. I took a step back to avoid her touch.

  She pursued.

  “You can run from me all you like,” she said with a sly grin, making a quick and careful move closer. “But it will not change the way I now feel about you.”

  The sting of my wounds reminded me of the consequences of our relationship and the last thread of my nerves collapsed in the wake of her fantasies.

  “Kathryn, no!” I grabbed her forearms and shook her. She gasped and I had to assure myself that my violent intentions were noble.

  “Matthaya? Wh-what are you doing?” Her eyes widened, the blue irises swallowed up by frightened, black pupils.