Shadow (Defenders MC Book 1)

by Amanda Anderson

  Lacey sat stunned, thinking over what Preach had said. Did it make a difference? If Rider still wanted to try then yes it made a huge difference.

  Preach sat back and Lacey knew she would not like his next words.

  “Here’s the thing. Shadow loves you too in his own way. He claimed you Lacey girl. He claimed you the night your parents were killed and several times after that. I convinced him to wait until the time was right to make it public, but his claim on you is valid. If you agree to marry Rider then neither of you will be allowed to be around the club. You will still be my daughter, but you will be a citizen and so will Rider. You need to think that over. We are all he has known for four years. He will have to give it up for you, but are you willing to let him? Are you willing to ask him to give up his family, his job, his whole life to live with you?”

  Lacey knew she wasn’t. “Why can’t we go back to the way it was before?”

  Preach let out a breath.

  “Because he has claimed you to every man he has killed since your grandma was killed. I don’t even know if he realizes it. I didn’t know until yesterday. You saw how he was. He came in covered in blood and ranting about killing men who threatened what was his. He told me things that I will lose sleep over. You are his whole life Lacey and I’m not sure he even realizes it. Fucked up thing is he won’t stop even if you do choose Rider. He will still look after you. He will still see you as his and so will the club. Rider will be betraying his brother and the whole damn club.”

  Lacey felt her heart break. Shadow was so broken. She had seen him as he could be only for a little while before the man had disappeared. Now she wondered if she would ever see the man she had thought she could love again.

  “Is he broken Preach?”

  “I don’t know Lacey girl.”

  Sadness clung to Preach like Lacey had never seen and it broke her heart.

  “I think I need to talk to Rider before I decide for sure, but I think it would be best if I left. I could just move away and get out of your hair.”

  Preach’s expression changed in an instant. He was the leader of the Defenders and took no shit.

  “Don’t feel sorry for yourself Lacey. You never have so don’t start that shit now. Figure out your shit but don’t you dare run from it. This is your home and whether you like it or not we are your family. Make your choices and have the guts to stand up for it.”

  He took a deep breath. “I tried to let you go. I treated you like any other woman and it ate at me. Lastnight when I heard your voice crying and saying I didn’t claim you, it just about tore me up inside. I did you wrong Lacey and I hope you can forgive me. I tried so it would be easier to let you go, same thing Shad is doing and the same thing you just mentioned. Its damned foolish. To have you turn to Moose when you were in danger and not me, well that’s not something I want to feel again. You are my daughter as much as Liz and Angel and you will never have to question it again.” The muscles in his jaw jumped. “That’s a promise baby girl.”

  Lacey choked. She stood and walked around Preach’s desk and let him pull her in for a hug. He had been straight with her and she was glad, but there was more going on than she had imagined. She wanted to talk to Rider.

  “I don’t know what to do. Won’t you just tell me what to do?”

  He sighed. “I can’t do this for you Lil Darlin’. I wish I could. I wish I could make it all better for you, but I can’t do that this time.”

  “Does everybody know?”

  “Yeah Lacey. I had to make sure they all knew so you are protected. You are considered Shad’s old lady princess and there’s nothing that can change that.”

  “Where will I stay?” She felt the walls closing in on her. She knew she didn’t love Rider the way she should and she knew she couldn’t love a man as cold as Shadow, but Marcus…

  “Shadow has a house not far from mine. Always said it was for you. Its nice. He has never lived there, but he has spent some time there when he needs to get away. Your stuff was taken up there last night.”

  “I assume Rider isn’t allowed.”

  “That is between you and Shad.”

  Lacey nodded.

  “I’m scared and so tired.”

  “This thing ends real soon Lacey girl. Shad wants to make it safe for you to live the life you want and he is willing to give up his humanity for it. Are you willing to let him?”

  21

  Lacey walked out of the office feeling deflated. She stepped into the dimly lit clubhouse and felt stifled. She turned to the door and was stopped when a curvy redhead stepped out of Shadow’s bedroom and made her way down the stairs. The woman smiled as she stepped in front of Lacey.

  “So, you are the screwed up little bitch that trapped Shad. Well I hope you know it won’t matter a damn that he claimed you. I still get to fuck him anytime I want. You know how many times I’ve fucked your man Bitch?”

  Lacey laughed. “Once, just like all the other whores. None of you trashy bitches can handle him more than that.”

  Lacey had no idea where that had come from, but this woman stank of cheap perfume and stale beer and that made Lacey want to puke on her to improve the smell. The whore stepped back but didn’t lose her smirk.

  “Oh you haven’t heard then? I’ve warmed him up every night since he got back.”

  Lacey recognized her then. She had been one of the women standing with Shad at the top of the stairs yesterday, had it only been yesterday? Lacey just shrugged as if she didn’t care.

  “And you will always be just another whore. Second best is still just the first loser, but I guess some can’t really hope for more than another woman’s left overs.”

  Lacey smiled brightly and walked past the tramp.

  “You stupid bitch!”

  Lacey felt her head snatched back when the woman grabbed her hair and she would have fallen if she hadn’t been caught in a pair of solid arms.

  She looked up to find Mike, a prospect, holding her steady as Lawless stood over the whore who was now bleeding on the floor.

  “You just signed your death warrant bitch.”

  He pulled a long blade from his belt and grinned like he had just won a prize.

  “I guess I could take care of you. Do it humane like. Shad won’t. You touched his woman. You told her lies. You could have hurt his kid.”

  Lawless made a clicking noise with his tongue as he shook his head, but he still looked like a kid at the carnival who had just won the biggest prize on the wall.

  “I could carve you up and it will still hurt less than what he will do to you with his bare hands. You heard of all those Devils bein’ found in pieces…” He nodded. “They did less than you did just now…” He grinned brightly and sheathed his blade. “But I don’t have the time.”

  The woman looked like she would faint. She looked to Lacey with big eyes, but Lacey wasn’t impressed. Preach stepped out of his office and surveyed the scene.

  “Law?”

  “Bitch was fucking with Lacey. Put her hands on her.”

  Preach nodded, looking at Lawless with pride and pulled his phone from his belt.

  “Shad, you got shit to deal with in the clubhouse.”

  He switched off and looked at the whore.

  “Not real smart are ya?”

  Lacey was fuming. The whore hadn’t been lying though. She had seen her touching Shad yesterday and she had just stepped out of his bedroom. Shadow burst through the door with Ink and Moose following behind. Shad narrowed his eyes at Lawless, but the man just grinned and pointed to the whore who still sat on the floor.

  “Trash needs takin’ out there brother. I think I may like your old lady. Got spunk.”

  Even Shad looked surprised. Lawless didn’t like anybody, especially the law.

  The whore pulled herself to her feel and slid up to Shadow.

  “Shad, baby, he hit me. You won’t let him get away with that will you baby?” She purred.

  Shadow didn’t push her away, instead he
let his eyes find Lacey who was visibly pissed.

  “You ok Lacey?”

  “Just fine.”

  Shadow nodded. He leaned down and whispered something in the whore’s ear that made her giggle and shoot Lacey a spiteful glare before she bounced out of the room. Then Shadow stepped in front of Lacey. No one spoke as he looked down at her. Lacey fought the tears that clogged her throat. He had just made it very clear to everyone in the room that the whore mattered more than she did and she wanted to scream.

  “We will talk about this when I get home. It’s not what you think.”

  Shad reached out to touch her and Lacey slapped him before she could think twice. Her palm stung almost as much as her heart.

  “You don’t get to touch me.”

  Shad’s face darkened. “I told you before not to do that. Who the fuck do you think you are?”

  “As far as you’re concerned I’m the fucking Queen of England!”

  “Well we ain’t in fucking England!” He said as he crushed his lips against hers.

  Lacey kept her lips closed until he bit her and then she’d had it. She was done being told what to do. She was done feeling powerless in her own life. She raised her knee with all the force she could muster and hit him square in the balls. Shad fell to the floor in a heap, gasping for breath and every man in the room groaned.

  “Then consider me the queen of fucking everything!”

  She felt strong and she felt free. She looked at Lawless and found him wearing a huge grin.

  “Told ya, she’s got spunk.”

  She walked out the front door and climbed into her car. The trashy little slut was straddling Shad’s bike and grinning. Lacey wanted to run over her. She knew she couldn’t leave the compound but she didn’t have to stay and watch Shad ride away with that piece of trash wrapped around him like a second skin. She drove up the dusty road that lead to Mrs. and to the comfort she knew she would find there.

  22

  Lawless leaned against the rough wall near where Shadow sat trying to breathe and looked down at his brother with a grin.

  “Well you sure as shit ain’t got a clue about women. You all but told Lacey that skanky whore mattered more to you than she does. Confirmed it real nice for her.”

  Shadow looked up and frowned.

  Lawless nodded still wearing a look that told Shadow he was enjoying it all too much. Ink and Moose wore similar expressions of disapproval.

  “I just wanted to get her to go peacefully so I could kill her somewhere else. Nobody touches what’s mine.” Shadow rose to his knees.

  “We know that. Lacey, the Queen of Fucking Everything, may not have seen it that way.” Law laughed then, the sick bastard. “Just fucking named herself nicely too. Queen.”

  “Queen.” Ink grinned a thoughtful grin. “I think I know how to finish that tat Shad.”

  “Fuck you Ink.”

  Shadow was confused and he hated the feeling. It made his head ache and that made him grumpy. He wanted to gut the bitch that had dared touch Lacey, but now he wanted to deal with Lacey more. He wanted to beat her ass for kneeing him in the balls and he wanted to fuck her for proving that she did care for him a little. He stood painfully and rubbed his hands over his face.

  “Let me deal with the whore brother. You go get your queen.”

  Shadow nodded to Lawless and stalked to the door. That damned woman was on his bike. Fuck! Lacey probably saw that too. This piece was making his life hell and he hadn’t even fucked her that he could remember.

  “Off.”

  “But baby, I thought we were going for a ride.”

  “I was taking you out of the house to cut your fucking throat for touching my woman. Now get the fuck off my bike before I do it right here.”

  She scrambled off the bike and took off for the road as fast as she could in those stupid high heeled shoes she wore.

  Shadow climbed on his bike and roared off as Lawless stepped out the door.

  “Now where the fuck do you think you’re going? I think I’ve got some time after all. We are going to have a little fun and teach you some manners.”

  Lacey had just stepped up on the porch when Angel rushed out the front door.

  “Oh my God! You kneed Shadow in the balls in the middle of the clubhouse?”

  Lacey felt herself melt a little. She nodded. Mrs. covered her mouth and laughed. Angel’s eyes were huge.

  “Ink was trying not to laugh, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Shad is on his way here so you don’t have much time.”

  “Is he pissed?”

  “Umm yeah, but Ink said Lawless was impressed. That’s something.” Angel actually looked impressed by that herself.

  “It just made me so mad.”

  “He didn’t fuck her Lacey. She was playing nurse. You saw him. He wasn’t fucking anybody.”

  Lacey closed her eyes. She had seen him. She had overreacted and made a fool of herself.

  “Oh God. What have I done?”

  Mrs. gathered her in her arms. “You claimed him back honey. For the whole club to see.”

  Lacey paled. Had she claimed him back? Did she want that?

  She had no time to think. The roar of a Harley was growing closer and she felt her heart hit her toes. She wanted to run. Instead she turned and waited.

  23

  Shadow climbed slowly from his bike and walked to the porch. Lacey stood with Mrs. and Angel who looked both happy and worried. Lacey just looked sad. He didn’t walk up the steps, he just looked up at her from where he stood.

  Lacey shifted uncomfortably. “I’m…umm…sorry for… you know.”

  “Knocking my balls into my throat?” Shad raised his eyebrows.

  Lacey went wide eyed. Shad didn’t normally joke. She gave him the slightest grin.

  “Well, you sort of deserved it.”

  He nodded. “I sort of did.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “Good thing I already knocked you up, cause that may be the only one you get, and that’s your own fault.” He lifted his eyes to her again.

  Lacey felt her throat close up. Those weren’t the dead, black eyes of a killer, those were beautiful warm eyes of the man that had touched her heart.

  She heard Mrs. sniffle beside her.

  “What now?”

  “Well that’s the thing. I want to take you home and beat your ass for what you did and I want to take you to bed for giving a shit, but I don’t think you are ready for either. So, I think I’ll just take you home and see what happens. I won’t force you Lacey. You can still trust me. I will always keep you safe.”

  Lacey nodded and walked down the steps.

  “I don’t know what to do.”

  Shadow looked sad, but he nodded. “I want you to be happy. I’m not sure I can do that. If, when everything is settled, you want Rider…” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I can’t let him claim you Lacey. You have always been mine, but I won’t stop you from being together.” He let out a huge breath. “Is that fucked up?”

  “Hell yes it’s fucked up!” Angel shouted from the porch.

  “Lacey, can we please go home before I kill my sister?”

  Lacey laughed and Angel pouted.

  “Yes.”

  Shadow took her to a beautiful little house tucked into the trees. It was made from a honey colored wood and had dark red shutters and a dark red metal roof to match. It wasn’t overly large, but boasted a wide front porch and a pretty gabled roof. There was a little stone path that led to the porch where there were four wide bottomed rocking chairs. It felt homey and Lacey loved it.

  “It’s amazing Marcus.”

  It was the first time she had used his name since the night they had made their child and it felt right.

  “It feels like home and I haven’t been inside yet.”

  “It is your home Lacey. I worked on it every time you had to move. I watched you to see the things you liked about the houses you lived in. I tried to give you everything you wanted.”


  He looked like a little boy giving a girl a gift. He was almost shy and Lacey felt her heart melt for this broken man.

  “Show me the inside?”

  He nodded and opened the wooden door. Lacey stepped into a cozy living room with a stone fireplace. On the oak mantle there sat a framed picture of her parents. She had always had that picture, somehow Shadow had made a copy. There was a picture of a woman Lacey assumed was his mother and one of Preach and the family. There were also pictures from her life that she had never seen before. He had watched her grow up. Always on the outside, never stepping in. She turned to him and that’s when she saw it. The picture he had taken of him kissing her in her sleep. He had it framed and it hung on the wall between the two front windows. Tears blurred the picture and she felt him pull her close.

  “This is your home Lacey, but it’s mine too. It’s the only place I have ever let myself see us together. I don’t stay here much, but there will be nights that I need this place. I won’t touch you unless you want me to, but on those nights I’d like to sleep beside you.”

  Lacey was stunned. This was his haven. This was where he had come to be real and it had always been with her.

  “I won’t mind that. There will be nights that I don’t want to be alone too.” She looked up at him not knowing how to ask the question.

  “Just call me Lacey. You won’t have to ask me, just call and I will come home.”

  He took a deep breath that shuttered just a little.

  “I will have two prospects stay with you night and day. You should be safe here, but I won’t take a chance.”

  “I have to work Marcus.”

  He shook his head. “Preach had your doctor give you medical leave. He has ordered bed rest.”

  Lacey frowned. “So I’m not allowed to leave here. Am I allowed guests?”

  Lacey watched as Marcus disappeared and Shadow took his place. He didn’t belong here in this house and Lacey shivered and stepped back.