You're What I Want (Y.A Series Book 4)

by Sarah Tork

  Someone kill me please.

  CHAPTER 7

  *JENNA*

  Tuesday November 6, 2012

  Annabelle and I headed inside the school. James found her quickly, pulling her into a hug in front of everyone. I stood back and glanced at them in a new light. It didn’t seem so disgusting and ostentatious anymore. As he whispered to her, she laughed quietly in his embrace. My heart ached at how— Whoa. What was happening to me?

  Tom happened.

  A fool’s grin found its way to my face as he surfaced from behind James, sporting a similar grin. “Hey there, silly.” He chuckled.

  I gave him a mock scowl. “What did I tell you about calling me that?”

  He stopped in front of me and leaned his tall frame over me. He held his arm out, offering it to me. “My lady, it would be an honor to walk you to your locker.”

  “That’s more like it.” I looped my arm through his.

  Later that evening, my parents were out with my uncle and I was at home by myself. Small pebbles attacked my window. While my heart raced, I checked out the window and found Tom standing on my front lawn, looking freshly showered with his hair slicked back.

  “Big Tom, what are you doing?” I hissed, after opening the window. “You could have just called me, you know?”

  “But it’s so much more….” he whispered back. He grinned wide and I swore there was a sparkle.

  “So much more what?” I whispered back, leaning out the window.

  “Beautiful,” he whispered after a few seconds.

  I gulped my surprise, but the air I suppressed tickled my throat and resulted in me choking on it instead. I ducked back inside my room and coughed. I took a few seconds to calm my breathing down. Breathing in check, I peered back out the window and he was still there.

  Was he turning me into one of those breathless types, you know, the kind that swooned at the sight of something even remotely romantic? That scene, right then, it was really romantic. I feared in the future I may pass out if it became too much…. Oh, my God, was that puke-worthy or what!

  “Come out with me, silly,” he said, loud enough that I could hear.

  “Okay,” I said back, and shut my window. I closed my curtains and fell on my bed with my hand to my chest. What was happening to me? I caught a glimpse of my swim bag, ready for practice after school tomorrow, and thought for a second that maybe it wouldn’t be the best idea to go out and that I should make it an early night tonight. But then I thought about him, outside, ready to take me out and just be with me, and I was out the door without another thought about swimming. I wore a pair of jeans and a white tank top with my black sandals. I locked the front door and made my way slowly down the porch, eyeing him leaning against his car, waiting for me.

  “Hey,” I said, coming to a stop in front of him.

  He smiled at me. “Hey.”

  We stood in silence for a few seconds before I broke it. “What do we do now?”

  He straightened and gazed down at me. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to hug you.”

  I gulped. “Okay.” His big arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his warm embrace. I squeezed his waist, inhaling his scent.

  “You smell good,” I said into his shirt, and pulled back. “So, where do you want to go?”

  He stepped out of the way and opened the passenger-side door. “It’s a surprise.”

  He drove us to Thompsons Park and laid a blanket on the grass. There were a few other people there, sitting on the bench, walking around, and also lying on blankets. We stared up at the sky in silence for a while. I took a deep breath and faced him, turning on my side. “Tell me something about yourself? Something nobody knows.”

  He didn’t turn away from the sky when he answered. “My dad walked out on my mom and me when I was eleven. We woke up one day and he wasn’t there. The next week we moved from Toronto to Orlando. My mom couldn’t take it, so she left me with my uncle, her brother. I’ve lived with him and his family ever since.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  He reached out and grasped my hand, pulling it to his chest. “I’ve never told anyone about him, or the situation with my mom.”

  I cuddled into him more. “Why me?” I whispered, right next to his ear. He turned his head and his lips were a few inches away from mine.

  “Because you’re you,” he murmured, sweetly. “You have no idea, silly. No idea how much I like you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me before?” I asked, my arm draping over his waist and his hand massaging my elbow now.

  “Because I have an ego too, you know.” He grinned, giving me a little of his cocky persona. “Big Tom would have been crushed if you’d turned him down.”

  “How’d you know I wouldn’t have turned you down this time?” I asked him, shaking my head.

  “I didn’t,” he said. “I just took a chance.”

  I leaned in and kissed his lips. I pulled away and waited for his eyes to open. “We both did.”

  *~*~*

  *JENNA*

  Wednesday November 7, 2012

  I woke up early and the need to write down my thoughts took over. I pulled out the trusty journal and wrote furiously.

  The World According to Jenna

  My life has changed these last couple of days. Before meeting Tom, I thought all high school relationships were stupid and superficial. But being in a relationship, for the first time in my life, everything I thought before seemed wrong now. He’s special and as each day passes, I find myself wanting to scream….

  I wrote what I needed to and waited to see if I felt better, or at least not as strange. After five minutes, I felt okay. Hopefully this mood would disappear by the time school started. I eyed my phone and there was a text from Tom. He’d sent it after dropping me off at home. I didn’t see it until now because my phone had run out of battery.

  Tom: Can’t wait to see you tomorrow… silly.

  And the warm and fuzzy feelings were back again. I left for school feeling good and felt even better when Tom greeted me in the hallway and looped my arm through his, and then walked me to my locker.

  I felt good for the rest of the morning, but then lunch happened and my mind went through a wave of different thoughts.

  Lunch used to be normal and predictable. I ate with the swim team, always. But for the last three days, it’s been with the baseball team and Annabelle, Becky, and Dana. I checked behind me at the swim team’s table and there were only a few still sitting there. A table away, Gabe was sitting with Tina, alone, like they were on their own private island.

  I felt a squeeze on my shoulder and glanced up to Tom. “You okay?” he asked.

  Was I?

  Thinking about it again, deep down in my heart, I wasn’t. My team was no longer a team. The brotherhood we once were was no more. But whose fault was it? Was it mine? How long have we all been sitting apart like this?

  Was it… that I was the cause of the swim team’s dissension? I wasn’t the team’s captain—Coach decided to not have a captain this year to keep things fair and even—but I’ve always felt like I was supposed to lead our team and be the glue that kept us together. I wasn’t doing that anymore.

  “I’m okay,” I said, and ate my sandwich. I lied. I wasn’t okay.

  The afternoon rolled by and the mood I was in hadn’t disappeared.

  “Jenna?” Coach Donaldson called after me, right after practice finished. I wrapped my towel around my waist—go Piranhas—and waited for her while the rest of the team entered the change rooms. Tina and Dana were the last to go, each giving me a questioning look, and I shrugged. I didn’t know why Coach wanted to speak with me.

  “Yeah Coach, everything okay?” My heart was beating like crazy as she scribbled on her clipboard.

  She dropped her arm with the clipboard down to her hip. “No, everything is not okay.” Coach pointed to the bench. “Let’s sit down and I’ll explain everything.”

  I nodded and followed her to the bench. Wha
tever conversation we were about to have, I had a horrible feeling that my scholarship was on a ship and it was about to sink to a place beyond rescuing.

  CHAPTER 8

  *JENNA*

  The other day we’d driven by his house on our way to my house after getting frozen yogurt. Knowing where he lived and how close it was to my house made it the next best place to head to. He wasn’t expecting me though.

  Well, hopefully he won’t mind the surprise. Jenna Sabini needs to be cuddled.

  Ugh, I disgust myself!

  I exhaled a deep breath and pressed the doorbell at Tom’s house. Their bell was your standard tune. His uncle’s home was a wide ranch-style house with a double garage attached to the side. There were no flowers.

  Just grass.

  The lawn was perfect, rounding the house, and large enough to throw baseballs back and forth at a distance that wasn’t considered child’s play. Their sprinklers were on, spraying every inch of their lawn, even getting a little on my toes where I stood on the front porch. It was seven at night. My homework was finished, I was showered and Febrezed to perfection. I’d had some chips right after I’d arrived home from practice, but no dinner. I didn’t have the stomach for dinner just yet. The horrible talk Coach and I had still plagued me. I was scarred. Her insider knowledge of the University athletic department in the great state of Florida, for the first time, was not a blessing. Some things were better left unknown. Having hope for a while was better than knowing you had no hope at all.

  None.

  Over.

  Destroyed.

  Obliterated.

  Gone into the lost cave for life.

  Out of service.

  Sold out and never to be re-stocked again, at least not till next year.

  Was I making sense?

  Probably not.

  But who cared, it didn’t matter if I was or wasn’t talking gibberish, because… there. Was. No. Hope. Anymore.

  There was only competition.

  Stiff competition that did not live in the great state of Florida, or any other state in America, as a matter of fact. I was dealing with the world now, and apparently it was offering more to these schools, especially Florida State University, than I ever could. We’re talking times unheard of by any girl under the age of eighteen. Times I wasn’t even close to hitting. I wasn’t delusional. Schools weren’t going to reward just average. There were people out there with their eyes on my prize, and they were going to get it over me.

  Simple, but it still sucked.

  The door opened, blinding me with the light coming from inside. A man stood in the open doorway. He was balding, but had shaved his hair down to its roots, leaving a smooth surface. “Can I help you?”

  I cleared my throat. “Hi, um, my name is Jenna. I’m Tom’s… friend. Is he home?”

  His blue eyes went from wary to amused. “Oh, Jenna. We’ve heard about you.” He grinned and stepped out of the way and motioned for me to come in with a wave of his arm. “Come on in, he’s upstairs in his room.”

  “Thanks.” I stepped inside and he closed the door behind me. “Mr… um?”

  “Oh, call me Rodney,” he said, standing by the shoe closet.

  “Okay, Rodney. Is it okay that I go up to his room? I didn’t tell him I was coming over,” I said, stalling in front of the stairs.

  “It’s okay.” He glanced up the stairs and back at me. “He could use a little uplifting right now. A happy surprise is just what the doctor ordered. Go on up.”

  Was Tom sad right now?

  I was sad right now.

  How was it that we were both sad at the same time?

  “Cool. Thanks.” I gave him a nod, took off my sandals and double-stepped my way up to the second floor. The stairs had carpet on them, but the hallway on the second floor was tiled. Perfect for tiptoeing. But which room was Tom’s? I’d forgotten to ask his uncle. I went exploring. There were four rooms. I head to the closest one and peeked in. No luck, it was an office. The next room, the door was closed and I didn’t feel comfortable opening it, like I was invading their personal space. I headed to the third bedroom and there was a bunk bed, with toys everywhere. That was not Tom’s room, unless he forgot to tell me he still slept in a bunk bed and played with kid’s toys.

  Creepy factor five thousand, anyone?

  The fourth and last bedroom down the hall had double doors, and they were open. I peeked from the hallway again and it was the master bedroom. It was not Tom’s bedroom. This meant that the second bedroom was Tom’s. I’d have to knock and announce my presence like a normal person.

  I wanted more of a surprise effect this evening.

  I stopped in front of his closed door and listened for any noise. What if he was doing something… something… you know… what boys do when they’re alone? And Rodney did say Tom needed uplifting; maybe he was taking care of it himself right now?

  Why did that wound me?

  It wasn’t like I wanted to help him in that department.

  Ew… no.

  Why was I standing here debating it?

  I was here for a reason.

  I took a breath and gave myself a nod, and knocked two times on his door.

  No answer.

  I knocked again and waited.

  “I told you I’m fine,” he said from the other side.

  I didn’t know how to answer. He thought I was Rodney. I knocked again.

  The door swung open. “I told you I’m—Jenna?” He squinted from the darkness, wearing black sweatpants and a white t-shirt that stuck to his body. “What are you doing here?”

  “Hi,” I practically whispered. “Surprise.”

  “Surprise?” He smiled.

  I nodded. “Yeah, surprise.”

  “A good surprise,” he said.

  I looked over his shoulder. “Well, are you going to invite me in or not? I’m calling you in, boyfriend.”

  He stepped out of the way and let me through. He was about to turn on the lights, but I stopped him. “Don’t. Leave them off.”

  He closed the door and we stood in darkness. “What do we do now?”

  “Are your sheets clean?” I asked.

  He took a step closer to me. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  I smiled, feeling and probably looking embarrassed. “You know.”

  “Good thing you didn’t come yesterday then.” He chuckled.

  “Gross.” I moaned and crawled on top of his bed. I was wearing my cotton red shorts with a black tank top. Very comfy clothes that were perfect for lying down in.

  “And we’re doing this, wow,” he murmured and followed me, crawling on top of his bed. I went under his blanket and rested against his pillow. He nestled next to me.

  “I’m on duty?” he asked.

  “You’re always on duty. Kind of required if you want to be Jenna Sabini’s boyfriend,” I explained and then sighed. “Are you rethinking this whole relationship thing now that you know all the headaches that are going to eventually come with it?”

  He pulled me into his embrace. “What does that tell you, huh?”

  “Warm hugs for everyone.” I chuckled, wrapping my arm around him. He felt cuddly, like a stuffed bear. “You’re cuddly.” It left my mouth as if I were sharing a secret. He said nothing back. Perhaps I’d rendered him speechless. What kind of a guy liked to be called cuddly? He probably wanted to be called sexy, or beast baseball star. I don’t know, something masculine like that.

  “I’m not calling you sexy,” I informed him, squeezing his waist. “You’re cuddly, and you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

  “The truth hurts my soul. I am no longer sexy Tom,” he stated and took a deep breath.

  “That’s right, from now on you will be known as cuddly Tom,” I declared.

  He let out a breath. “Wonderful.”

  “Great,” I chimed in.

  “Perfect,” he added.

  “What’s your nickname then?” he asked. “I got a new one, then so s
hould you.”

  “Call me predator, panther, or warrior.” I sighed and continued, “Those are your options, so choose wisely.”

  “Nope, if I’m cuddly Tom, then you have to be… you have to be... sexy Jenna.” He grinned slyly, nodding like he was so slick. I slapped his chest, which was unsurprisingly firm. He let out a yelp.

  “Ouch, that’s abuse,” he mock whimpered. “Dating you has become a health risk.”

  “And don’t you forget it.” I grinned, slapping his chest again, but a little lighter. I liked my hand there. He grabbed my hand and pressed it against his chest.

  I exhaled and leaned into him. “So, I hear you’re sad?”

  “And judging by this late-night visit, I’m not the only one who is,” he assessed.

  “You got that right,” I mumbled.

  “You want to share?” he asked.

  “I’m not going to get a scholarship to Florida State,” I confessed, tired out of my mind. “Now it’s your turn.”

  “My mom called me. She was drunk and crying. My dad’s birthday is tomorrow. She wanted to make sure I remembered to tell him happy birthday, even though we haven’t seen him for over six years,” Tom explained.

  I curled deeper into him. “Life.”

  “Life,” he repeated, looking down at me. “I bet you want me to kiss you right now.”

  I snorted. “I bet you want to kiss me right now.”

  “Only if you want to. Do you?” he asked, hope in his voice. Not that I blamed him for wanting to kiss me. My lips were awesome.

  “I came over here for you to complete your boyfriend duties,” I stated.

  “Was I successful?” he asked.

  “You get an A,” I assessed.

  He smiled. “What do I have to do to get an A plus?”