Brothers On Life

by Mike Czuchry

  In the presence of scepters and gold goblets

  Good intentions first forged in the mind

  Lose their way through neurons and dopamine

  Eventually becoming ill-conceived contraptions

  Malice aforethought is not a prerequisite

  For opening Pandora’s Box

  Evil fingers are not a necessary characteristic

  To pick the locks of stolen treasure

  Everything I have ever done

  Love was at the center

  Yet sometimes love can be skewed

  Great minds can destroy the world with brilliance

  Pure hands can crumble nations with blankets

  Religions can wage wars with faith

  Sometimes deals with the devil are only seen in the rearview mirror

  I am asked to make decisions

  Emboldened with guesstimates

  And since I am only made of carbon and water

  Life is certain to be ambivalent toward my misfortune

  These lids now opened

  Cannot be slammed shut

  These measures taken

  Cannot be undone

  My first steps

  My good intentions

  Seemingly insignificant at the moment of inception

  Carry the unintended weight of Pandora’s Box

  I tried to be scrupulous

  I tried to be valiant

  I tried

  Yet through a series of unforeseen events

  My life’s bounty is given in the payment of forbidden fruits

  And although my spirit never intended the evils

  I will not deny myself the taste

  SPOTLIGHT

  With the filament pops

  Come magic

  Endorphins spike

  Palms sweat

  And the marrow within your bones begins to stir

  In the spotlight

  When the light begins to shine

  It will at once humble you

  And well you up enough to burst

  In the spotlight

  Some

  Will be moved by your light

  And run to your side

  To give you shoulders to stand on

  And hearts to lean on

  Because they want to see you through to even brighter days

  Others

  Will have their reasons for darkness

  They will run to your side

  With their loose tongues

  Rip through you and tear you down

  Pushing you into the shadows

  As they hoard your light for their own ends

  Yet no matter what you do

  Or who you are

  Life will always give you both shields and arrows

  Shoulders to perch on

  And those loose tongues to cut you

  You have heard it before

  I’m here to echo the voices

  And mirror the reflections

  Don’t be fooled by fools

  All the jesters

  May indeed be weeping behind their masks

  Because

  Life is never what it seems

  In the spotlight

  IN FLAMES: PROLOGUE

  Hermosa Beach, California, October, 2007. Fires raging in the distance. Smoke in the clouds. Rushing home to see if the flames have reached my doorstep.

  IN FLAMES

  The sky is on fire

  The city is on fire

  The sun is bleeding

  Dripping into the ocean

  I shake off my sins

  Place trust in my soul

  Shake the trees of my entrapments

  And watch the dew from the leaves drip into the ground

  Is this dew enough to save me from the flames

  I am thirsty

  These tongues of flames have parched me

  Thirsty for a clear Heaven

  A white cloud

  A blue sky

  But the water is dry

  For us all

  The sky is on fire

  The city is on fire

  The sun is bleeding

  Dripping into the ocean

  Let the fires lap at my door but not enter

  Let my will push them back

  Let my courage spit on their sparks

  Let my faith deny the fires of Hades

  I wonder today

  Who will perish in the ash and miss the city of gold

  Who will be the lucky few to remain unscathed

  Are these mere droplets of holy water from my tree

  Enough to cleanse my doubt and mistakes

  To save me

  To be a lucky one

  The sky is on fire

  The city is on fire

  The sun is bleeding

  Dripping into the ocean

  TOWERS

  Even when we feel like steel

  The right set of moments

  Can make the towers come down

  Leaving us bleeding

  Raw

  Real

  Remember all those with pictures clasped in their hands

  Hoping their loved ones would materialize out of thin air

  Remember disbelieving

  Watching

  As fearful people

  Jumped holding hands

  And in an instant

  They became heroes as they leapt

  Seizing the moment to control their own fates

  Refusing to be defined by others

  Finding freedom from these towers

  Is it worse to be those that have perished triumphantly

  Or those clasping pictures left in waiting

  Some may say

  It does not matter

  We all meet the same fate in the end

  But perhaps our intuition was right all along

  As Shakespeare said

  The coward dies a thousand deaths

  But perhaps what matters most

  Is how we meet the one

  August, 1992.

  THOSE EYES

  Once

  I saw

  A tear

  Drop

  The weight, the fullness

  Expressing life itself

  Seeing it fall

  I, for all of time, make a commitment

  To protect it

  And I believe

  Even when past my fingertips

  Like an impossible pass

  I can still catch it

  To hold your tears

  I will be miraculous

  I will leap off buildings

  I will dive in front of bullets

  I will give you my life

  All of it

  Forever

  I will cup my hands

  Absorb your tears

  Before the ground

  Has a sense

  That they’ve ever been shed

  November, 2010.

  SAME EYES

  Pretty

  Tears

  Fall with the same weight

  After all these years

  Yet

  Now sharpened

  By time and your mind

  They cut through my hands

  Like knives

  When they fall

  From your eyes

  TO BE

  In your heart

  There exist two worlds

  Joy

  And

  Sorrow

  They are always there

  Together

  Beating and working in concert

  Blood spilled in one

  Makes the other more vivid

  We need both worlds

  To be

  ONE

  How is it possible

  That any one person

  Could understand it all

  Have all the answers

  Lined within their pockets

  To reach in and grab at a moment’s notice

  When the questions arise

  Because


  Answers are never facts

  And

  Questions are malleable

  Because

  Life is bigger than us

  And

  Life is all of us

  Those lines drawn across countries

  Are only real to those who aim to rule the world

  The answer is lined within your pocket

  Don’t discard me because I am not you

  We are all one within another

  I am your soul now and always

  STICK UP FOR YOURSELF

  You can always cower in the corner

  Again

  And again

  And again

  If you choose that

  If you want that

  You can hide

  From all the wrongs of the world

  That beat you down

  And then cover up the bruises on your face

  As you carry on simply wishing life were different

  But

  Although pain is real

  Suffering is choice

  At some point

  You must choose

  To

  Stick up for yourself

  Even in the face of fists

  Even in the face of doubts

  Stick up for yourself

  A TROJAN HORSE

  Have we learned nothing

  Hatred begins with merely words

  Would it not be refreshing to just say

  I love

  I am

  I hope to be

  That is all

  I remind myself to be gentle with words

  Knowing without love and acceptance

  It’s easy to look for even the smallest of differences

  As a way to slowly and subtly stroke our children’s innocence into prejudice

  A TROJAN HORSE: POSTSCRIPT

  Subtle prejudices seep into our very being even when we try to consciously prevent it. Test this theory by visiting a website titled Project Implicit at https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/. Click on demonstration and pick a topic or group you think you have no prejudice toward. You might be surprised at what you discover.

  The authors have no association with this website, its contents, or the individuals who run this site.

  CRINKLES AROUND OUR EYES

  Share your troubles

  With me

  No matter the weight

  I will not buckle

  With each tear shed

  I welcome the pain

  Knowing

  In the end

  We grow toward longer smiles

  And perfect crinkles around our eyes

  TROUBLE

  When you were born

  Your mother said you would be trouble

  When I was a teenager

  My father told me to be careful of women like you

  Perhaps mothers and fathers may not know best

  Because trouble or no trouble

  I need you by my side to take on this crazy world

  Your reckless psyche fends off the demons

  Your erratic ways make me feel normal

  And your devious smile keeps me alive

  Even your faults make me hold your hand tighter

  As your mistakes give me room to breath

  And your burning force gives me the strength to challenge

  Your mother was right

  You are trouble

  The best kind

  I can’t go at this world alone

  This world of curveballs

  I can’t be everything on my own

  This world of risk and loss

  Who better to spin the world on its head

  Than a woman born of trouble

  IN THE END

  In the end

  All that is and has been

  Will be wrapped up in nothingness

  Yet we defy the odds

  With consciousness

  And love

  THE JESTER

  And when living life

  Childlike innocence and laughter

  Beats self scrutiny and doubt

  And when dying

  I would rather laugh amongst idiots

  Than drown in seriousness

  A GREAT SUCCESS: THE DARK SIDE

  In my mind as success arrives

  The self becomes unnaturally exposed

  Disconnected and contagious

  All these good intentions

  Twisted dangerously through pens and microphones

  Become lost in the ether

  Fear arrives as the outside world aims to distort my mouth

  My heart once on my sleeve

  Retracted from others to ensure vital statistics

  From these dreams attained come delusions

  Desiring to escape nightmares in my favorite secret haunts

  Away from takers of souls toward givers of life

  Arm and arm

  Surround me with friendship

  Let the wine drip from my lips and ease my toxins

  Longing to hide

  In the forts built as children

  Away from the ink and empty audio of this adult world

  As success arrives

  I have become unnaturally exposed

  Disconnected and contagious

  Or have I

  A GREAT SUCCESS: THE BRIGHT SIDE

  In my mind as success arrives

  The self becomes triumphantly lifted

  Connected and heroic

  All these good intentions

  Personified perfectly through pens and microphones

  Become found as universal truths now lost on no one

  Happiness arrives as the outside world aims to kiss my mouth

  My heart on my sleeve

  Beating more deeply in shared vitality with others

  From these dreams attained comes clarity

  Fulfilled with freedom through my favorite public persona

  Away from the self that takes toward the self that loves

  Arm and arm

  Surround me with riches

  Let the joy drip from my lips and erase my toxins

  Longing for nothing

  In the way we lived as children

  Embracing the colorful ink and beautiful audio of this adult world

  As success arrives

  I have become triumphantly lifted

  Connected and heroic

  Or have I

  ENOUGH

  No matter the love

  No matter the hate

  I just go on

  Being me

  And that

  Is enough

  TRUTH ABSOLUTE: PROLOGUE

  Dad once said, “If God could fit in my head, my God would be too small.” Over time, I have come to believe we only comprehend a small portion of reality.

  TRUTH ABSOLUTE

  Being but part of a greater unknown

  Each word from my lips

  Equal in truth and equal in error

  Each time that we speak

  Truth becomes none the clearer

  Through distorted illusions we peer at ourselves

  And even though it all may seem real to me

  Never mind this perception

  Truth can’t be known

  But only

  By truth alone

  MERRY-GO-ROUND

  So why can’t I bite my tongue

  Hold it deep in my throat

  So as not to speak to you like an animal

  True

  It may be in reflex only

  But still the barbs are no less spiny

  Against my loved one

  My loved one that I have loved for so long

  These things I say from my mouth

  And you say behind your teeth

  Indeed all the jabs are colorful and perhaps necessary in a flurry

  Yet later they remain deeper, distracted, and piercing

  We are lucky

  Time again gives us another chance to
speak softly to each other

  And when the distance between us comes between the jabs

  I sit alone behind my walls thinking

  I ask for you

  Call out to you

  Deep in the night

  Longing for you

  Longing for you to come back to me

  For you to be kind to me

  Please

  Walk softly down the hall on your return

  With your arms held out wide

  Freeing your chest and heart to me

  See me before you naked and small

  Both of us forgiving our instinct to hurt

  All in an effort to be loved again

  Fresh and new

  For we are what we love

  We are the ones closest to us

  Defined by the other’s eyes

  Defined by the other’s love

  GENIES

  How many lamps filled with Genies can I rub

  How many candles can I blow out

  How many pennies can I skip across the ocean

  Before my wishes come true

  Wishing

  Of you

  Of me and you

  These Genies from my palms could build armies

  The dark smoke from my candles could burn down cities

  These pennies drowning in the ocean could overflow vaults

  And yet these Genies, candles, and pennies still don’t equal you

  If only, if only

  These hours, months, and years of wishing left me with you

  Without you

  Tears are cathartic

  As the soul needs a good soak

  Without me and you

  The sounds of love songs hold up my sanity

  Listening, knowing, and feeling

  That someone else traveled down my same path

  Loved loftily

  Lost mightily

  And despite it all

  Tried yet again

  Summon the Genies

  Light the candles

  Unravel the penny rolls

  Wishing again

  Of you

  Of me and you

  THYSELF

  I loved you so deeply

  You were everything to me

  My heart

  My mind

  My body

  My soul

  Wherever you were

  That’s where I wanted to be

  Yet now

  I love you no more

  I feel nothing for you

  You broke me

  You were then