For Better or For Worse

by Debbi Quattrone

  Jenny was going to be okay. The struggle was by no means over. A lot of physical therapy lay ahead, and there would probably be days when she’d wonder why she got up in the morning. But as the months went by, she’d regain her strength and would soon be back to normal.

  Alex took a deep breath of bittersweet relief. After she was well again, she’d leave him.

  * * *

  JENNY’S NORMALLY HIGH threshold for pain was crumbling by the minute. Finally, she broke down, sent Alex on a fool’s errand and rang for the nurse. As much as she hated taking the pain medication, she couldn’t bear another hour of gritting her teeth so as not to alarm Alex.

  “Yes, hon, what can I do for you?” Colleen was Jenny’s favorite of the three nurses she’d had over the past two days.

  “Drugs. I need drugs—and hurry.”

  Colleen shook her head as she checked Jenny’s chart. “I’ve told you more than once that you shouldn’t wait until the pain is this bad before you ask for medication.”

  “It’s not that bad. I want you to hurry and give it to me before Alex gets back.”

  Close to sixty, Colleen had short salt-and-pepper hair and a round, smiling face. “Your husband does dote on you. It makes my heart glad, to tell you the truth. Every woman should have a man love her the way that man adores you.”

  Jenny didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t very well explain to Colleen that she was mistaken, that Alex was really only a friend. “I hate to rush you but—”

  “All right, all right. I’ll make it back before that big handsome husband of yours returns.” The nurse made a notation on the chart, then left to get the medication.

  Jenny smiled. He was handsome, that was for sure. He didn’t always remember to shave before he came to the hospital in the morning. The stubbly look was incredibly appealing on him, and the polo shirts he favored showed off his nicely muscled arms. He hadn’t gotten a haircut in a while, and she really liked the longer look.

  The nurses and aides loved to flirt with him. He just smiled a lot, but she could tell he was uncomfortable with all the female attention, even though they meant no harm. Except for one young blond nurse Jenny didn’t like. She thought Becky was a tad too eager to see Alex coming.

  It wasn’t Jenny’s imagination that the younger woman applied fresh lipstick five minutes before the start of visiting hours or that she hung around outside Jenny’s room at key times. It wasn’t that Jenny was jealous. Not in the least. Why would she be? It was just downright annoying to see the nurse acting like that.

  “Here we go. This should fix you up in no time.” Colleen administered the medication. “The doctor will be by to see you within an hour. Maybe he’ll be able to tell you when you can go home.”

  “This afternoon won’t be too soon.”

  “What? You don’t like the accommodations?” Colleen grinned. “Don’t hold your breath. I’d say you’d be lucky to be released by the end of the week.”

  “Did I miss something? Has the doctor been here?” Alex asked as he entered the room carrying a white paper sack from the gift shop.

  Colleen winked at Jenny. “No, sir. Your wife and I are doing some guesswork.” She eyed the bag. “I hope you brought chocolate.”

  “You know better.” He smiled as he reached into the bag. “That stuff will clog your arteries.”

  “So, we all have to go some time.” Colleen grinned.

  Jenny watched with unwarranted pride. She knew as well as Colleen that he’d bought the woman some kind of treat. He’d been very generous with all the nurses, bringing everything from bagels and pastries to umbrellas when it rained unexpectedly.

  He handed Jenny a small stuffed bear holding a red foil-wrapped chocolate heart. “In case I missed last Valentine’s day,” he said with a secret smile only for Jenny, and her heart fluttered.

  Colleen nudged him with a light elbow to the ribs. “Go on. You’ve never missed an occasion in your life.” She craned her neck. “What else have you got in there?”

  “If I tell you, will you go away so I can be alone with my wife?”

  Jenny got a warm funny feeling inside even though she knew he’d said that only for show. But there was something in his expression and tone that was so intimate it fueled her foolish imagination.

  Colleen frowned at the unhurried way he reached into the bag. “Depends how good it is.” Her eyes widened at the gold box he produced. “Holy smoke, Godiva?”

  He handed her the box. “This is for all of you at the nurses’ station, okay?”

  Colleen gave him a wicked smile. “I’m glad we’re shorthanded today.”

  “Good-bye, Colleen.” He motioned toward the door.

  “Keep this up and we’ll make sure Jenny never gets discharged,” she said over her shoulder.

  Jenny groaned. “Gee, thanks.”

  Alex pulled a chair up beside her bed. He hated the safety bars, even when they were lowered. He hated the monitors, the IV bags. Damn it, he hated hospitals. But he smiled at Jenny, not wanting her to see a hint of his distaste. “How are you feeling?”

  “Great.” Her pulse sped up when he took her hand and kissed the back of it. “You spoil those nurses.”

  “I want to make sure they take good care of you.”

  “Can’t wait for me to get back on my feet so you can get rid of me?”

  His features tightened and he released her hand. “Is that what you think?”

  “I was only joking.” She hugged the stuffed bear closer, not sure what to make of Alex’s reaction. He’d been so supportive and attentive, it frightened her. She didn’t want his attention to end. “Thank you for Romeo.”

  Alex frowned, then glanced at the bear. “You named him already?”

  She nodded. “It was easy. I knew his name as soon as I saw him.” She looked at the growing collection of plush bears sitting on the windowsill. “Alex, you’ve got to quit spoiling me, too.”

  “Why?”

  “Because.”

  His lips curved in a slow smile. “I see.”

  The pain medication had started to kick in, and she was feeling slightly fuzzy-headed. “I don’t want you spending your money like this. Airfare, cab fare, meals, phone calls, it’s all adding up. And what about the clinic? Have you called Tuck and—”

  He silenced her with a finger to her lips. “Don’t worry. Everything is fine. Your only job is to get well.”

  “That would be okay if I were really your wife but—”

  “You are my wife.”

  “You know what I mean.” She lay back and closed her eyes. It was humbling enough to have to lie here, no makeup, barely any modesty, having to depend on everyone to do things for her. Even harder was to watch Alex play the role of loving husband.

  “Hey.” He stroked her arm. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know.” She sniffed. “I feel so helpless.”

  “It’s temporary. You’ll get stronger and stronger, and before you know it, you’ll be back on your feet, and then...” His voice faded.

  Curious, she opened her eyes and looked at him, waiting for him to finish.

  He shrugged. “And you’ll be back to your job and your old life in the city.”

  She swallowed. That was part of the problem. The thought no longer appealed to her. She wanted to stay with Alex, which was a foolish idea to even consider right now. She was vulnerable and grateful—of course she wanted to stay where she felt safe. Her growing attachment to him was probably right out of a psychology textbook.

  Heck, it was foolish to consider a relationship with him at any time. Hadn’t Alex made it clear he would never remarry? That no one could replace Sara? That’s why he’d said this arrangement could work. There would never be a romantic interest in his life. He couldn’t have been plainer tha
t this was a short-term arrangement.

  “Jen?”

  Oh, God, she hoped she didn’t do anything stupid like start crying. She swallowed hard. “Yes?”

  “You look as if you’ve just lost your best friend. What’s wrong?”

  Damn it. There wasn’t a thing she could do about the sudden gush of tears.

  He jumped up. “I’ll get the nurse.”

  “No, don’t.” She barely choked out the words. “She can’t help.”

  Confusion and fear darkened his face. “Honey, please tell me what’s wrong.”

  She hiccuped. “My hormones are out of whack or something. That’s all.”

  His expression softened. “It’s okay to be emotional. Your body’s been through a lot of trauma.”

  She nodded. “Could I please have a tissue?”

  He got the box from her bedside table and put it next to her on the bed. “You’re not withholding anything from me, are you?”

  She blew her nose a little too loudly. “Like what?”

  “Like not wanting to tell me you’re in pain.”

  “No.” She waved a hand. “It’s just stupid stuff. I’m fine. In fact, I’m hoping the doctor will tell me I can go home in a couple of days.”

  “Don’t push it. Remember, home is a few hundred miles away.”

  “You haven’t given up my apartment yet.”

  “No, I’ve paid the rent through the end of the month and given written notice that you’re vacating then.” He wiped a stray tear off her cheek. “It really doesn’t make sense to keep it once we go back to Cooper’s Corner.”

  Jenny dabbed at her eyes. She must look a complete mess.

  He plucked a tissue from the box and handed it to her. “You can get an apartment that’s just as nice after you’ve recuperated.”

  “Just as nice?” Jenny gave him a wry smile. “You’re being much too charitable. I was almost too embarrassed to agree that you stay there while I’m in here. But it made sense financially.”

  “It’s small but big enough for one person, and it seems relatively safe. Besides, this is the city. Square footage is expensive.”

  She sighed. “Yeah. Everything’s a trade-off here.”

  “You’ll be back sooner than you think.”

  She frowned. She wished he’d quit saying things like that. It sounded as if he was anxious to be rid of her. Of course she couldn’t blame him. After all, she’d turned his life upside down.

  “You look tired.” He peered intently at her as if he were examining one of his canine patients. “Maybe I should leave for a while and let you rest.”

  “And disappoint your fan club?” She let her eyes drift closed for a second. The medication made her groggy.

  “Huh?”

  “The nurses.”

  “I bring them chocolate. What do you expect?”

  “No, I think it’s your charm and big hands.”

  He laughed. “Big hands?”

  Oh, God. Had she actually said that out loud? More than one fantasy about those large, strong, capable hands had kept her awake at night. “I didn’t mean that. I guess I am a little tired.”

  He lifted one of her lids and studied her pupil. “Did they give you more Vicodin?”

  She nodded. Better he knew than think she was a total dope.

  He let his fingers trail down her cheek. “I wish you’d tell me when you’re uncomfortable.”

  “Then you’ll argue about me going home.”

  “I only want what’s best for you,” he said softly, smoothing her hair.

  “We all do.” Dr. Sage walked in, a tired smile on his round face. “How are you doing today, Jennifer?”

  “Better.”

  “Good honest answer.” He nodded at Alex before concentrating on her chart.

  Jenny held her breath, suddenly a little more alert. She wanted so badly to go home. Not just to her apartment. But to Cooper’s Corner. To Alex’s home.

  “All right,” the doctor said slowly. “Everything looks pretty good here.” He mumbled some vital statistics from her chart that had Alex looking pleased.

  She sighed, wishing he’d get to the bottom line. But she knew better than to rush him. She’d tried that before and ended up with him and Alex ganging up on her.

  Dr. Sage set down the chart. “I think I’d better take a look at that incision.”

  Jenny stiffened when he pushed aside her hospital gown. Alex was still in the room, although from where he stood he couldn’t see much.

  Dr. Sage smiled. “You don’t mind if your husband stays in the room, do you?”

  The question was obviously rhetorical. He’d already exposed her lower back and half her fanny. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. This was not how she’d planned on Alex seeing her naked.

  “You’re healing quite nicely.” He gently prodded the area. “Can you feel this?”

  “Yes.”

  “Some patients experience a little numbness when we get that close to the nerve. Eventually the feeling comes back, but you’re doing great.”

  “How bad will the scar be?” She’d thought about asking Colleen for a small mirror to see the damage but had chickened out.

  Dr. Sage covered her with the gown. “Not bad at all. You and your husband will hardly notice it unless you wear one of those thong bikinis.”

  “That is so not going to happen.” Jenny avoided Alex’s gaze even when she heard him chuckle.

  “Do you have any questions?” the doctor asked, picking up the chart again.

  “Just one.”

  He looked at her with raised eyebrows.

  “When do I get to leave?”

  “What’s wrong? You don’t like the food?” Dr. Sage grinned. “Sorry. A little hospital humor.” He went back to studying the chart for a moment. “I hope you’re not planning on traveling back to Massachusetts immediately.”

  “No.” Alex jumped in, his tone firm. “Definitely not. We’ll be staying here in the city for as long as we need to.”

  Although Jenny had thought about taking a train, which would allow her to leave sooner, Jenny gritted her teeth but she didn’t argue. She figured the more agreeable she was, the better her chances were of getting released.

  “Well...” Dr. Sage pursed his lips and appeared thoughtful. “You’re doing better than expected. How does tomorrow sound?”

  “Tomorrow? Really?”

  Alex shook his head. “That’s awfully soon.”

  “Tell me, young fellow.” The doctor gave him an amused look. “You like it when your patients’ masters second-guess you?”

  Alex sighed. “Point taken.”

  “Can I leave first thing tomorrow?” Jenny asked, impatient to confirm her release date.

  “After we discuss a schedule with the physical therapist. Who are you working with?”

  “Olga Mendez.”

  “Good. While you’re in New York, you’ll continue working with her twice a day. In two weeks we should be able to cut the sessions back to three days a week.”

  Jenny groaned. “Does that mean I have to stay here for two more weeks?”

  Dr. Sage exchanged a concerned look with Alex. “You’re healing well and you obviously have a lot of physical resilience,” he told Jenny. “Unfortunately, that’s a two-edged sword. You’ll want to push yourself and do too much too soon. I see patients make that mistake all the time, and then they end up back in here.”

  She shuddered at the thought. “Don’t worry. I’ll be as good as gold.”

  “Yes, she will.” Alex moved closer to the bed. “I’ll see to it.”

  She didn’t much care for his patronizing attitude, but if it helped get her sprung, she could deal with it. “How long will I have to continue to u
se the walker?”

  “For at least two weeks. And that is definitely not negotiable.” Dr. Sage gave her a pointed look. “Young people especially hate using it, but I promise you, young lady, you won’t be able to walk without it no matter how hard you try, and you’ll only end up in this bed again.”

  She smiled meekly. “Of course I’ll use it.” And she meant it. During her last trip to the bathroom, she’d learned the hard way how dependent she was on the walker. That’s why she’d had to have more pain medication.

  Still, she hated using it in front of Alex. She always made sure she went to the bathroom before he came to see her, and she wouldn’t allow him to watch her physical therapy sessions. Foolish. Why should she care if he saw her hobbling like an old lady?

  “By the end of the two weeks, you’ll probably be able to get by with a cane. I’ve arranged for you to continue your therapy at the hospital in Cooper’s Corner. Stick with the program and you’ll be good as new in no time.” The doctor looked at his watch and then at Alex. “Either of you have any more questions?”

  “Not at the moment, but I’m sure I will later,” Alex said. Jenny figured she ought to be angry with him for taking over, except his hand had found hers, and the way he stroked the inside of her wrist drove her crazy.

  “Good enough.” Dr. Sage patted the blanket over her knee. “I’ll see you during my rounds early tomorrow morning, and you should be out of here by ten.”

  Jenny waited until he disappeared into the hall. “Yahoo!”

  “Hey, don’t get too excited.”

  “You haven’t had to lie here and get poked and prodded every few hours.”

  “I know.” He squeezed her hand. “But it’s over. The worst part, anyway.”

  She nodded, a sudden rush of tears filling her eyes. “Thank you, Alex.”

  “So help me, if you thank me one more time, I’ll—”

  She sniffed. “You’ll what?”

  He studied her for a moment, then dipped his head and kissed her.

  CHAPTER EIGHT