Crash Into Me

by Liz Seccuro

  QUAGLIANA: Were there any other injuries?

  ME: There had been—because I photographed them, I do recall just some fingerprints on my arms.

  QUAGLIANA: [When] did you photograph your injuries?

  ME: I photographed my injuries on Saturday.

  QUAGLIANA: And do you still have those photographs?

  ME: I do not.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay, who did you show them to, if anybody?

  ME: I didn’t take the photographs. My friend, who came down from D.C., took them. I showed them—I’m not sure who I showed them to.

  QUAGLIANA: How long did you have the photographs after this incident occurred?

  ME: For quite some years. I believe I lost track of them during my first marriage.

  What I would give for those pictures now!

  QUAGLIANA: How many photographs were there?

  ME: I’m not sure.

  QUAGLIANA: Was it a stack or two or three?

  ME: No, it was not a stack. No, it was more like four or five photos.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay. Was there anything damaged with regard to your mouth.

  ME: No, not that I recall.

  QUAGLIANA: And when you say you had a contusion on your cheek, what did that look like?

  ME: It merely looked like a small bruise and it was visible, but easily covered up with makeup.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay. And when you say that there were fingerprints on your arm, what did that look like?

  ME: They looked like blue bruises. They looked like fingerprints.

  QUAGLIANA: And was that on one arm or on both arms?

  ME: There were more on my right arm than on my left arm.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay. Was any of your clothing torn?

  ME: No.

  QUAGLIANA: Were you having your menstrual period during this time?

  ME: I was not.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay. And when you left the house, I think you testified that it was daylight and about eight A.M., is that correct?

  ME: Between eight and nine to my best recollection.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay, could it have been any later than that?

  ME: It could have.

  QUAGLIANA: But you believe it was sometime prior to, say, noon for sure?

  ME: Yes, because I saw people—I saw people on their way to class as I was walking.

  QUAGLIANA: And you left the house on the exit that takes you out to Rugby Road, is that correct?

  ME: No, I left the house on the exit that takes me to Madison Lane.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay. And did you walk down Madison Lane?

  DAVE CHAPMAN: Judge, I’m going to object to this scope of the examination. We ceased asking questions upon her exit from the house. Anything past this point is for the purpose of discovery.

  Chapman objected to Quagliana’s line of questioning because the scope of the preliminary hearing was to end at the point when I left the Phi Kappa Psi house. It had been agreed that testimony about events after leaving the house would not be introduced until trial.

  QUAGLIANA: Judge, it’s cross examination and we have broad latitude here. And—and to the extent of the witness’ credibility and her memory, this is relevant and we should be allowed to inquire.

  THE COURT: I’ll sustain the objection.

  A small victory. But Rhonda Quagliana had plenty of other questions.

  QUAGLIANA: While you were at the house in the bedroom, had the bleeding from your vaginal area stopped?

  ME: While I was at the house?

  QUAGLIANA: Yes.

  ME: It had certainly slowed. There was fresh blood being deposited on the sheet that morning when I awoke, although not much.

  QUAGLIANA: And before you left the house, you did not do anything to alter your appearance or clean yourself, or anything of that sort, is that correct?

  I stumbled, forgetting to mention my efforts to clean myself in the filthy fraternity bathroom.

  ME: No, I did not.

  QUAGLIANA: And you didn’t do anything to alter your clothing, correct?

  ME: No, I did not.

  QUAGLIANA: And just to make sure I understand, the sweater that you were wearing was a crewneck sweater, correct?

  ME: Quite like the sweater you are wearing under your jacket.

  QUAGLIANA: And—and the bra you were wearing, could you just describe that for me, please?

  Unreal.

  ME: It was a simple white lace bra and my underwear matched it.

  QUAGLIANA: You testified that you went to the party with somebody by the name of Jim Long, is that correct?

  ME: Correct.

  QUAGLIANA: And also there was another student by the name of Hud Millard, is that correct?

  ME: [He] was there. I didn’t go to the party with Hudson Millard.

  QUAGLIANA: I understand. How did you know Mr. Millard?

  ME: Many of us first years knew him to be an extremely popular resident advisor. He was a mere—he was a trusted figure on Grounds.

  QUAGLIANA: Was he a resident advisor in your dorm or another dorm?

  ME: I had seen him from around one of my friends from one of my classes. He was that person’s resident advisor. He’s a very popular resident advisor. Many people knew him.

  QUAGLIANA: But you were on a speaking basis with him?

  ME: Yes.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay, and he recognized you at the party and you recognized him?

  ME: Yes.

  QUAGLIANA: And you talked to him at the party?

  ME: Yes.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay, and when you first arrived at the Phi Psi house that night, did you see other friends from your dorm there?

  ME: Yes, correct.

  QUAGLIANA: And there were a lot of women in attendance at this party because that’s part of the point of rush is to get women to the party, is that correct?

  ME: I’m not sure the point of rush. I’m not a fraternity brother.

  QUAGLIANA: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you speculate about that, but there were certainly a lot of women at the party, correct?

  ME: You know, I don’t know.

  QUAGLIANA: Do you remember seeing any women at the party?

  ME: Yes.

  QUAGLIANA: You said that when you went upstairs, there were ten or twelve people on the upstairs level, is that correct?

  ME: On the second floor level.

  QUAGLIANA: And were any of those people women?

  ME: Yes.

  I didn’t know what she was trying to prove, except that if there were other women there, and they didn’t get raped, I must have been doing something wrong.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay.

  ME: May I clarify that point, actually?

  QUAGLIANA: Sure.

  ME: One of the women that I recognized happened to go up the stairs with me and also went with Jim Long to wherever they went off to.

  QUAGLIANA: Who was that?

  ME: Her name was Cricket.

  QUAGLIANA: Cricket what?

  ME: Don’t remember her last name.

  QUAGLIANA: Was she in your dormitory?

  ME: No, she was a friend of Jim’s.

  QUAGLIANA: How long were you in the upstairs area before the two guys approached you and asked you—was it two guys who approached you and asked you if you wanted something else to drink?

  ME: Correct.

  QUAGLIANA: Was Mr. Beebe one of those people?

  ME: No, he was not.

  QUAGLIANA: And, in fact, he was not any part of the process by which you received this sort of mystery drink, correct?

  ME: Was he tending bar? No.

  QUAGLIANA: Well, he wasn’t—he didn’t have any role in giving you the drink?

  ME: No, he did not.

  QUAGLIANA: Mix it or serve it or anything, correct?

  ME: No, he did not.

  She asked again what happened to Jim, to Cricket, to Hud—how I had been left alone. Then we were back to clothing.

  QUAGLIANA: Do you recall what Mr. Beebe was wearing that night?

  ME
: I have a general idea. I have an impression twenty-two years later.

  THE COURT: Don’t tell us unless you know.

  QUAGLIANA: Do you know?

  ME: I do know he was wearing a plaid shirt.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay, but you recall—you certainly recall what you were wearing, correct?

  ME: Yes, I do.

  QUAGLIANA: And you even recall what your friend, Jim, was wearing, isn’t that true?

  ME: Yes.

  QUAGLIANA: I mean, you told the police right down to the fact that he was wearing a belt, is that correct?

  CHAPMAN: I object to any use of any other statement unless it’s for the purpose of impeachment, and the witness has said yes in response to “Do you remember?” So, she has a recollection and she can testify and it doesn’t matter what she said to the Police. There’s no impeachment at this time. [“Impeachment” means challenging a witness’s credibility.]

  QUAGLIANA: Do you recall telling the Police that your friend—

  CHAPMAN: OBJECTION.

  QUAGLIANA: I’m sorry.

  CHAPMAN: The same premise.

  THE COURT: Miss Quagliana.

  QUAGLIANA: Yes, thank you, Your Honor. Do you recall that Mr. Long was wearing a belt?

  ME: Yes.

  I knew because Jim had asked my opinion on his clothing that night.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay. And—but your memory about what Mr. Beebe was wearing is just limited to the shirt, is that correct?

  ME: I don’t want to answer to exactly what he was wearing unless—I may have the shirt color wrong and I don’t want to do that.

  QUAGLIANA: And you remember specifically that he was reading to you from a book bound in green fabric?

  ME: Correct.

  QUAGLIANA: You testified that during the time that you would describe as the rape that you remember a door opening and people milling around. What do you recall about that?

  ME: Just that. I remember—I recall—I recall being aware of the presence of others in the room.

  QUAGLIANA: So when you testify that you had lost consciousness, were you conscious or unconscious during the course of these events?

  ME: At the course of which events?

  QUAGLIANA: Well, I mean after—after a certain point you testified that you lost consciousness, but you also say that you remember something about people being there[,] coming in the room, so I’m trying to get an idea of the level of your awareness.

  ME: I lost consciousness because the horror of what was happening to me caused me to “check out.” I then became conscious again upon hearing the door, hearing voices and seeing light in the room. I then became unconscious again, I assume.

  Quagliana flipped through her documents to a new sheet of paper, a newspaper article. She had dug up two articles from student newspapers from my undergrad days. I had mentioned one of these articles to Beebe in an e-mail, which might be how his attorneys found them. Dean Todd had encouraged me to speak about my experience, and I had, under the condition of anonymity, with names and some details changed. Quagliana tried to press me on quotes I’d made back then—to see, I suppose, if my story had changed over time. But neither Chapman nor the judge had seen these articles. I hadn’t seen them myself in two decades. The judge became frustrated, and finally Quagliana took a different tack.

  QUAGLIANA: You testified in the beginning that you knew the date of this incident because you kept it in a journal, is that correct?

  ME: I wrote it down when it happened, yes.

  QUAGLIANA: And do you have that journal?

  ME: From twenty-two years ago?

  QUAGLIANA: Yes, ma’am.

  ME: No.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay. Did you keep any of the clothing?

  ME: I did.

  QUAGLIANA: What did you keep?

  ME: I kept all the clothing.

  QUAGLIANA: And where is it?

  ME: I kept all of the clothing for quite some time. When I realized that nothing was going to be done for me, via the University channels, and I don’t recall when, at one point I came to burn those—to burn that clothing.

  After that line of questioning, my desperate act sounded suspicious.

  QUAGLIANA: If I can have a moment, Your Honor. Thank you. Thank you, Your Honor, that’s all.

  I was relieved when Quagliana sat down. Now it was time for the redirect examination, by Dave Chapman, the Commonwealth’s Attorney.

  CHAPMAN: Just a couple of questions on redirect. Now, you described having located your clothing in the vicinity where it was removed?

  ME: Yes.

  CHAPMAN: The things that you located, were they all in that vicinity?

  ME: Well, it wasn’t a large room, they were scattered on the floor.

  CHAPMAN: Okay. Did you have any difficulty locating the things that you did find and put on?

  ME: I was in—I don’t recall if I did. I just wanted to find them.

  CHAPMAN: Well, for example, did you make any special or extra effort to find the underpants that you could not find?

  ME: Yes. I got down on the floor and looked under the bed and under the sofa.

  CHAPMAN: Could you find them anywhere?

  ME: No.

  CHAPMAN: Ms. Quagliana asked you about whether any of your clothing was torn or damaged[.] I cannot remember the precise language used, but was any of your clothing affected by the events?

  ME: Yes, it was.

  CHAPMAN: What clothing and in what way?

  ME: My sweater, the crew neck, because it was a cotton/Lycra blend, the hole—the pullover—where you put your head, was stretched out.

  CHAPMAN: Were any of the items affected in a way that you observed?

  ME: Not when I retrieved them to put them back on.

  CHAPMAN: How about upon later inspection, were you able to detect any way in which any of the other items were affected?

  ME: Later I—after sitting, I obviously had deposited some blood onto the skirt.

  CHAPMAN: Any other [e]ffect that you can recall?

  ME: I don’t recall.

  CHAPMAN: Now, at the time you described becoming aware of the door opening and light and other people being in the room—

  ME: Yes.

  CHAPMAN: Had the sexual assault been completed by then?

  ME: I assume as I was not actively being assaulted at the time. I was—

  CHAPMAN: At that time that you became aware of people to the extent you were, was any additional sexual assault or any other kind of contact made with you by those people?

  This was the question I had asked Beebe in the e-mail about other assailants.

  ME: I don’t recall. That is—that remains a question I have.

  CHAPMAN: But do you recall any?

  ME: No, I do not.

  CHAPMAN: Thank you, that’s all I have.

  THE COURT: Ms. Quagliana.

  I almost wished Chapman had had more questions. But now I had to face Quagliana once again. This was the recross-examination.

  QUAGLIANA: Was the collar of your shirt visibly stretched out?

  ME: To me?

  QUAGLIANA: Was it significantly altered?

  ME: To me, yes, to the naked eye.

  QUAGLIANA: When you testified in response to Mr. Chapman’s questions about the presence of others, you have said on prior occasions that you thought that this was likely a gang rape, is that correct?

  The phrase “gang rape” shot like a bullet through the courtroom. There were gasps, then the sound of journalists’ pencils scratching furiously. I didn’t specifically remember being assaulted by anyone else, but I remembered the voices, the bodies. I had asked the question in an e-mail to Beebe, and he had said he was the only one. I was terrified that there might be more to know. Still, no number of assailants could erase the terror of Beebe’s assault from my memory. The horrible possibility did not lessen Beebe’s guilt.

  CHAPMAN: Objection, objection, absolutely objection! Never said during this examination, not a subject of prior inconsistent state
ment. Not covered here. I object to that line of questioning.

  QUAGLIANA: Mr. Chapman asked her about the presence of other people, and she said that that was an unanswered question for her. And I’m allowed to ask her if she has made statements prior to this inconsistent with what she said here today, and certainly to inquire about a subject that he brought up in his examination. His question was whether or not she—what she could say about the presence of others, and her answer was that she—that that was an unanswered issue for her. And the idea of what she’s described is that there are other people in the room, and I should be allowed to ask her if she thinks other people had sexual contact with her.

  THE COURT: I’ll allow the question. I think it—

  CHAPMAN: Judge, here’s— [M]y objection is to the reference of other statements.

  THE COURT: Okay, let’s delete the point about other statements but let’s get to—you can ask her that question.

  QUAGLIANA: Do you think there were other people involved?

  CHAPMAN: Objection. Her belief in that regard is something quite different from the knowledge or recollection or the like, and I object to that question.

  THE COURT: Rephrase the question.

  QUAGLIANA: What do you remember about other people being involved?

  THE COURT: At what point?

  QUAGLIANA: At that point at which you testified that there were other people in the room.

  ME: I will answer this the best way I can. Because I had been unconscious, and I recalled other people in the room at some point of the night, because of something I heard subsequently from one of the other brothers that was pledging and because of the fact that I was aware of other people in the room, that is why it remains an unanswered question. The only person I recall assaulting me is—

  THE COURT: There is not a question for you right now.

  ME: I’m sorry.

  QUAGLIANA: Do you recall speaking to Detective Rudman about this matter? A Charlottesville Police Officer?

  ME: About which matter specifically?

  QUAGLIANA: Well, about the allegation that you’re making that Mr. Beebe raped you?

  ME: Yes.

  QUAGLIANA: Okay. And did you know that your conversation was being recorded?

  ME: Yes.

  QUAGLIANA: And do you remember telling him that you have a vague recollection of people in the room, perhaps spectators?