Bounce Down: 1st Quarter: Start of Play

by Lorraine Loveit

  We had been partying hard since the minute we ordered our first drinks, never leaving the dance floor, except for a refill or to visit the toilet. On one of my bathroom visits, I had washed my hands and happened to hear my phone ring.

  I plucked it from my jeans pocket and knew by the Crocs ringtone, who it was. What did he want? Surely he didn’t want my answer already?

  “Hello.”

  “Suzie, is that you? I can hardly hear you.”

  Admittedly the music was loud, so loud it even filtered into the bathroom.

  “Yes, it’s me. You said you were going to give me some time.”

  “I wanted to check on how you were.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Weren’t you going home to think about everything?”

  “I was, I did.”

  “Well if you’re home, why don’t you turn down the music, so we can talk?”

  “I don’t feel like talking right now.”

  “Suzanna, don’t lie to me, are you at home or not?” His tone was getting sterner with every sentence he spoke; it was becoming annoying.

  “I didn’t and don’t lie to you. I was at home and now I’m out with a friend. Does that satisfy you?”

  “Have you been drinking?” he asked slowly, as if he didn’t believe I would drink after the previous night’s episode.

  “What do you think?”

  “Answer the question!”

  Boy, he really sounded mad. Good, now he knew how I felt.

  I sighed at his demanding question. “Yes Brendon, I’ve been drinking and what’s more, I seem to have lost count how many I’ve had.”

  “Where are you?” His growl didn’t frighten me.

  “Out in public; a place you can’t been seen with me.”

  He ignored my jibe. “You had better not be driving tonight.”

  “I can look after myself. I managed before I met you and I’ll manage after....” I choked up, as tears began to form and blur my vision. “I’ll manage in the future.”

  Before he had a chance to comment, I rushed on, in case I started crying in earnest. “I’ve gotta go, bye.” After hanging up, I switched off my phone so he wouldn’t bother me again.

  By the time we left the club, it was around 3.00 a m. I turned my phone back on and noticed some missed calls from Brendon, as well as several text messages; messages I didn’t bother to read. Although he was acting exactly like a jealous boyfriend, I knew this was not the case.

  In my inebriated state, it came to me that was probably the reason he needed me to have the operation, so he could go out with me and be able to have more control over me. Look at the way he had taken over once he arrived at the Sundowner.

  But why the operation at all? Surely my current nose wasn’t too unsightly? My problem was I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. No-one knew about our behind-closed-doors relationship, not even Mandy and I could not possibly tell Jeanette; I was too embarrassed. In the past, my go-to-guy had been Peter, but now he was the last person I would confide in. I could just imagine his reaction, or any of my friends or family, for that matter.

  But I desperately needed someone; someone I could consult with. I guess I could have always gone online to some chat site, but it wasn’t my style. This was not exactly true, considering it was where I had found Brendon’s personal ad; advertising for someone I hadn’t become yet and quite possibly never could be. And what of his mystery lady, where did she fit in to all of this?

  The taxi dropped me out the front of the complex. Damn it, I should have asked the driver to take me to my door, but it was too late now.

  I staggered a little, as I walked down the driveway to my front door, glad I was carrying my shoes instead of wearing them. As I reached into my purse for my key, I was accosted from behind with a firm arm encircling me, pulling me against his body. I knew it was a man because he was so big, so strong. I dropped my bag and shoes, as I tried to break free. At the same time, I opened my mouth to scream.

  Before a sound could escape he had placed his free hand over my face, covering my nose as well as my mouth. As I struggled to breathe, he leant down and whispered, “Don’t scream, it’s Brendon.”

  Chapter 19

  “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I tried to keep the tears I had held at bay, since his phone call, from finally escaping. I simply refused to let myself cry in front of him.

  We were downstairs in the modest sized formal lounge area, sitting side by side on my black leather-look lounge. Apparently, he had been waiting outside for hours, all the while trying without success to contact me. He appeared sincere and concerned as he handed me some paracetamol. I swallowed them without protest; it was the easiest and quickest way to get him to leave.

  “I made a mistake, I should have kept you with me. At least I’d have known you were safe.”

  “Look, I’m tired and don’t feel well. I just want to go to bed and sleep, alone!”

  It seemed as though he was going to protest, but then changed his mind as he shook his head. Then he completely changed the subject. “Were you out with a guy, Atwell perhaps?”

  “What if I was?” At least Jason and the other guys I had dated had not complained about the way I looked.

  I could see he was holding his temper in check. It was just as well, because even in my drunken state or perhaps because of it, I was ready for a fight.

  He totally ignored my answer as he stood and reached for me. “You’re right, you do need to go to bed.”

  As he guided me towards the stairs, I stopped and turned to face him. “I don’t need or want your help.”

  “Nevertheless, you’re going to get it,” he stated matter-of-factly, as he resumed his course of getting me upstairs.

  Once again, like the previous night, he insisted on helping me shower and then putting me to bed. The difference was this time, I did not want any form of intimacy; instead I just wanted him to leave.

  However, on discovering Diane wasn’t going to be home until morning, he was adamant he wasn’t going anywhere. He was going to stay the night, whether I liked it or not.

  “Fine! You can sleep in the spare room.” There was no way I was letting him in my bed with things still unresolved between us.

  He readily agreed, stating if I needed him all I had to do was call out. There was little or no chance of this happening. I was asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.

  I dreamt I was on a boat, with a gentle rocking motion as it dipped up and down the waves. It was so soothing, relaxing – up and down. In my dream I was not alone, I felt hands on my body; on my hips to be precise. Then a ripple of pleasure coursed through me, as I felt something inside me going in and out, in and out.

  My eyes flew open – I was in my room and Brendon was behind me and yes, inside me. The events of the previous day flashed through my mind, finishing with my request he sleep in the spare room.

  “What are you doing?” I was still groggy from sleep and my head throbbed from my overindulgence at the club. I sounded croaky when I spoke.

  “Doing what I do best.” He laughed at my obvious question, as he continued his dogged conquest of my body.

  His witty remark was not going to distract me this time. “I thought you were sleeping in the other room.”

  “I was, but I woke up.”

  “And?” I tried to turn around to look at him, but he held me firmly, putting one hand on my shoulder to hold me in place as he continued to possess me.

  “And I came to check on you. When I saw you like this, I couldn’t resist.”

  I could imagine the sight he saw; my covers kicked off and seeing me in my T-shirt nightie with no underwear. I never wore any knickers when sleeping, I had always found it too uncomfortable. I wondered whether my shirt had already been pushed up over my hips, or he had performed that task himself.

  “So, who’s better?” His tone now sounded edgy.

  “What do you mean?” I was finding it harder to concentrate as my body heated u
p.

  “Am I better than what’s-his-name?”

  Oh god yes, you’re better, much better; there was no comparison.

  I didn’t answer out loud, so he picked up the pace and thrust harder. “Who do you want, answer me?”

  “Only you, always.”

  He stopped dead at my words and I felt his body tense up. “What did you say?” I heard his whisper from somewhere behind my head.

  I whispered back. “You, I’ll always want you.”

  I felt a lump of emotion swell up in my throat and found it difficult to breathe as I realised, despite my admission, this was quite possibly the last time we would be together.

  I felt his breath on the back of my neck as he kissed me, dropping sweet feather-light kisses on my neck and shoulders and then surprisingly, he was no longer dominating me, he was making love to me.

  In the aftermath of our most intimate union to date, we laid in each other’s arms, face to face. He was gently caressing me, my hair, my face, while kissing me so tenderly it almost made me cry. This was the Brendon I so desperately wanted, the one who showed he had some modicum of feeling for me.

  “Oh god, I’m sorry!”

  The romantic moment was shattered as Diane stood at the door, glued to the spot with obvious shock at seeing us together – naked. At some point during our lovemaking, he had removed my top and now was gallantly shielding me with his body, which left his rear fully exposed.

  The door quickly shut and although I did not see her face, I could imagine her blushing with embarrassment. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem the least embarrassed or annoyed. In fact, he appeared happy and more relaxed than I had ever seen him.

  “Oops.” I couldn’t help giggling.

  “I didn’t realise you two had a no-need-to-knock policy. I’ll have to remember to lock the door in future.”

  I reached down to the floor to retrieve my nightie and a sharp pain shoot through my head, causing me to wince. Our lovemaking had been so passionate, yet tender, that I had forgotten all about my heavy head. At least this time I had no stomach complaints, due to the fact I had eaten. The usual conclusion to a night on the town with Jeanette was a doner kebab and this time was no exception.

  Of course, he heard me gasp and correctly guessed its cause. “So, you lost count? That tends to happen if you drink to excess.” All the humour was now gone from his voice and the disciplinarian was back.

  “I realise I had a few too many.” I ignored his raised eyebrows at few and hurried on, “But I didn’t want to be alone last night, so I went out to drown my sorrows.”

  He frowned at my comment. “Why would you be drowning your sorrows? Surely your decision wasn’t the reason? I take it by your declaration earlier that you’ve agreed to my request?”

  My mind was still a bit foggy. What declaration? I was baffled. I didn’t declare anything; anything except, “I’ll always want you”. Damn it, I should have held back my feelings.

  These feelings were obviously what prompted the change in him, his tender kisses and loving. Or was he showing his gratitude, at my acceding to his wishes? Why should he know how I felt, without him declaring his own feelings? Because he didn’t feel the same about me, obviously.

  I tried to back-track and attempted to sound casual. “Oh, you mean about wanting you?”

  He nodded. “I meant about the sex, wasn’t that what you wanted to know?”

  I saw his eyes widen and he appeared puzzled. “But you said only you, always.”

  “Of course, what girl wouldn’t want great sex, always?” I emphasised the last word to confirm the meaning behind my so-called declaration.

  He didn’t immediately reply. “So you haven’t decided yet?”

  I shook my head. “And you were drowning your sorrows because…?”

  I stared deep into his exquisite blue eyes. “Because of you.”

  He sighed and broke eye contact, as he ran his fingers through his hair; his tell-tale sign of frustration.

  Not wanting to continue this intense discussion with Diane in the house, I got out of bed and reached for my nightie that had earlier been carelessly discarded. After donning the oversized T-shirt, I turned to see him still sitting on the bed, still naked, staring up at me with an unreadable expression on his beautiful face.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t offer you your own separate shower but, as you saw last night, we only have the one. You can go first if you want.”

  Whatever he had been about to say was abandoned, as he shook his head. He got to his feet on the other side of the bed and quickly pulled on his clothes, before walking around and taking my hands in his, to stare down at me. “I’ll have a shower at home.”

  This time it was my turn to look away, as I hung my head. He was in such a hurry to leave, he wouldn’t even stay to have a shower.

  Chapter 20

  Within five minutes he was gone.

  Granted, last night I hadn’t wanted him to stay and I didn’t want to shower with him this morning, but I had been expecting some kind of resistance.

  His parting comment gave me something to think about. “I’ll give you the time alone I promised you, but remember you can call me if you need questions answered.”

  After his sudden departure, I showered and had some pills to counteract my headache, followed by a cup of tea with Diane before she went off to bed.

  “Do you want to talk?”

  Of course she was bursting with curiosity, especially after Brendon’s one word “hello” to her before making his quick exit.

  “I would, but I don’t know where to start.”

  She put her cup down before speaking gently. “How about starting with yesterday? Why did you bring your car back, what happened?”

  In my depressed state, I hadn’t spared a thought about how it would look from her perspective.

  “Sorry Di, I should have left you a note. I went out with Jeanette.”

  “Jeanette? So how did Brendon wind up in your bed this morning? God Suzie, the only reason I came in was to check on you. I would never have… if I had known you weren’t alone,” she blushed as she spoke. I couldn’t help giggling at the guilty look on her face.

  “So, what did you think?”

  “About what?”

  I gave her a questioning look. We both knew what I meant by my cheeky question.

  A smile broke out on her face. “Not bad, not bad at all.”

  We both laughed spontaneously at her short, but accurate summary of Brendon’s body.

  “Well? Did you meet up with him while you were out?”

  “Oh god no, we were at Razors.”

  “You’re right, definitely not his scene. So, what gives?”

  I couldn’t tell her the truth, but maybe she would settle for a half-truth. “We had a disagreement, that’s why I came home, that’s why I went out with Jeanette and that’s why he was waiting for me when I got home.”

  She was visibly shocked. “He was waiting outside for you?”

  I nodded in confirmation. “But knowing Jeanette, it would have been in the early hours of the morning?”

  “It was around four, I think.”

  She frowned at this. “So, if you made up and he stayed the night, why didn’t he look happy? It wasn’t because I interrupted, was it?”

  I sighed and had another sip of tea. “There’s still an issue to be resolved and before you ask, I’m not going to go into specifics, okay?” I put my hand up as I spoke, signalling it was a closed subject.

  Back in my room, I checked the messages on my phone to see how mad he got while waiting for me.

  ‘Call me’, the first one was short and to the point, like all his instructions. The next few messages got progressively more demanding.

  I gasped out loud at his last message, ‘ffs suzie im worried sic jus let me no yr ok.’ Did I detect a note of raw emotion, especially in the words for fuck’s sake (ffs)? Was he concerned because he did have feelings for me? Or was he was feeling guilty because it was
his fault?

  “I’m worried sick.” I repeated the words in my head. They did not sound like the words of someone who didn’t care, someone who was willing to break up with me, if I didn’t have the procedure.

  Several days later, I was sitting across from Peter in the local lunch bar.

  “Okay, now we’re alone it’s time to tell me what’s going on.”

  Yet another nosey, albeit well-meaning friend wanting to know about my private life. As Diane had seemed satisfied with my explanation, I told the same story to Mandy at our morning tea catch-up on Monday. However, I had been avoiding Peter for the last three days and now looking at his determined expression, I knew he would want more details.

  I took another sip of my free hot chocolate, courtesy of Peter, while I contemplated what, exactly, I would tell him. “What are you talking about?”

  He shook his head. “You’re kidding, right? You’ve been in a foul mood all week. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

  I sighed and lowered my gaze.

  “And every time I ask you what’s wrong, you give me the brush off. Why can’t you confide in me?”

  I glanced back up at him. “We’ve already had this conversation. I told you, this time it’s different and I can’t talk about it.”

  “You said you couldn’t tell me his name. We’re way past that stage now.”

  “We had a disagreement and it’s still not resolved. And I don’t want to talk about it, to anybody.”

  Now I had shocked him.

  “What, not even Mandy or Jeanette?”

  Again I shook my head in confirmation and then gave my attention to my drink, to avoid having to look at him.

  “This is serious, isn’t it?”

  My silence confirmed his suspicions. He was spot on, it was serious and I was having a hard time dealing with it, with my decision.

  Peter eventually broke the lengthening silence. “Why don’t you just break up with him?”