Bounce Down: 1st Quarter: Start of Play

by Lorraine Loveit

  My head shot up and eyes widened at his suggestion. Why was I so shocked? It wasn’t as if I hadn’t been thinking the same thing, ever since Brendon’s outrageous proposal.

  I acknowledged how this time was different to my other break-ups; even though technically we hadn’t ended our relationship, not until I said no.

  On comparing Brendon with Jason, I conceded they did have similarities, but Brendon was dominating and serious most of the time, whereas Jason was less demanding and more easy-going. Yet, I had broken up with Jason and we were still good friends; a scenario I could not envisage with Brendon.

  “He’s going back to Melbourne for Christmas.”

  “That’s not such a bad idea.”

  I didn’t grasp his meaning, until he explained. “To give you time to resolve whatever it is. When’s he going?”

  “Tomorrow.” I knew the word sounded bleak, even to my own ears.

  “Are you going to see him before he goes?”

  I shook my head slowly, depressed I would not be seeing him this weekend and possibly every weekend to follow.

  “Well in that case, you can come out with the guys tomorrow night. You can ask Mandy and the girls from Druggies, it should be a good night.”

  As I was getting ready for bed, I recalled the “Maybe” response I had given Peter to his invitation, despite the fact I had no intention of going. Being out with the guys was the last thing I needed, having to put on a happy face, while all I wanted to do was hide away in my room.

  The Crocs’ ringtone broke into my sad reflections. “Hello.”

  “How are you?”

  “Okay.” I kept my response to one word, in the hope the emotions I was feeling didn’t filter through to him.

  “Have you come to a decision yet?”

  Good old Brendon, straight to the point as usual.

  “No, I’m sorry.” This time I knew my tone sounded strained.

  “Do you mean no, you haven’t decided, or is no your answer?” He sounded agitated and tense. Was it possible he may change his mind and not let me go, if I refused?

  “No, I haven’t decided yet.”

  I heard him sigh deeply. “You know I’m going tomorrow?”

  “Yes.” I was back to my one word answers. How depressing.

  “I want to see you tonight. Do you want to come over, or do you mind if I come to you?”

  He was obviously wanting my answer before he left and by seeing me, was hoping to influence my decision.

  “No, I’d rather not see you until I’ve made up my mind.” I spoke the words, even though every fibre of my being was screaming for me to say the opposite.

  It took him a moment to respond. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”

  “It is.” Shit, would I ever see him again?

  “I will be back on the 2nd, but that doesn’t mean you can’t call or text me any time.”

  “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time with your family.”

  “You won’t be, I want to know how you’re doing.”

  “And what my answer will be?”

  “That too.”

  The night out with the boys didn’t eventuate, as word came through late in the afternoon about a stabbing at an office Christmas party. It was just as well Brendon was going away, because I wouldn’t be able to see him anyway.

  As the victim’s life hung in the balance, the team leapt into action in their usual efficient manner, leaving me in the office manning the phones and processing any information received.

  The person responsible had been identified, but there were still witness statements to be taken, as well as evidence to be collected. Also, the scene needed to be preserved until Forensics took over. Eventually the team was back in the office with the unhappy, slightly dishevelled middle-aged male suspect, who was deposited into one of the interview rooms.

  Even as I typed up the ROI, I couldn’t stop thinking about everything. How could I not think about it? This was so much more than deciding whether to break up with someone or not. My mind went over and over the different possible outcomes; will he still want me like I am, will he change his mind, could I go through with it, for him?

  “Cheers!”

  We were at Paddy’s Bar, an Irish pub located five minutes from CIB HQ.

  I downed my first drink for the evening. It had been so long since I’d been out with my old work mates. Apart from Jo, Mel and Bec, I was not surprised to see some of the Drug Squad guys there as well. It really felt like old times, happier less complicated times.

  The girls had been disappointed Friday had been called off, so they had suggested Saturday night instead and although I didn’t feel like going out, they had managed to change my mind.

  “Where’s Brendon?” I was not ready for Mel’s casual question as we were returning from the toilet.

  “Melbourne, visiting family.”

  “So he won’t be spending Christmas with you, that’s pretty bad form.” She appeared surprised he had gone away without me.

  I couldn’t help laughing at her comment, but felt compelled to defend him. “Hey, we’ve only known each other a couple of months.”

  “It seems longer.”

  “We met in early November, I remember because the Fremantle Festival was on the same weekend.”

  Wow, we had only known each other for a short amount of time and here I was contemplating having a surgical procedure, because my boyfriend of two months, asked me to. Of course, I had to remind myself he was not my boyfriend.

  I recalled he had said I would never be his girlfriend and then a week ago, he alluded to the fact things would be different, if I agreed. Why did I feel like he was blackmailing me and what guarantees did I have things would change, if I had the surgery?

  “And when’s he coming back?”

  Mel’s question pulled me back to the present. “Not until the 2nd.”

  She shook her head and gave me that bad form look again, but didn’t express her opinion as we re-joined the others at the bar.

  Christmas Eve was always a fun day at work. Naturally if there were incidents to attend to things would be different, but thankfully this Christmas Eve there weren’t any. There were the usual foods and beverages to be consumed, as well as the Secret Santa. Of course our Secret Santa had to be different from the norm.

  One guy received some bras because of his body shape, another got condoms because he was with a different girl almost every week and someone else’s was a huge packet of potato chips because it was his favourite snack. Peter got a cute Daddy’s Boy T-shirt for his son and I got a Christmas top. After everyone had received their gifts, Steve came forward with one more present for me.

  “What’s the extra one for?” I was puzzled, as traditionally we each received one gift only.

  Steve shrugged his shoulders. “It was delivered to security downstairs. They contacted me about it, because it had to be checked out first.”

  This made no sense, no-one would send me a present here. I glanced around and saw they were waiting for me to open it. It then hit me who it was from and I knew I couldn’t possibly open it in front of the whole squad.

  I felt myself blush. “Um, I think I’ll open it later.”

  Several good-natured protests followed, but eventually I made it back to my desk with the wrapping still intact.

  Later, alone in my bedroom, I finally opened Brendon’s gift, or more correctly, gifts. Along with Wild Orchid, another steamy movie starring Mickey Rouke, there were several items of lingerie; beautiful bras and knickers, black suspenders and silk stockings, as well as a black lace teddy. Written on the Christmas card were the words, ‘Merry Christmas Suzie – Brendon x.’

  I was moved by the gesture and sent him a text, ‘Merry Christmas - thanks for my present – Im sorry I didnt get you anything.’

  His reply came through within minutes, ‘All I want is a yes.’

  No pressure. My response was blunt, ‘I know what you want but I still need more time x’
>
  The next day I met with my family to enjoy a typical Price family tradition; Christmas lunch, roast turkey and all the trimmings, followed by mum’s famous trifle. Plus, there were always the Christmas carols playing in the background.

  I felt melancholy when All I Want for Christmas came on. All I wanted was Brendon. I didn’t want to change the way he looked, even if I hadn’t like the size of his nose.

  Both Aiden and I always made sure we were there, sometimes with partners and sometimes, like this year, on our own. It seemed more special when it was just the four of us. The reason we always had a lunchtime celebration, was because I was usually out Christmas night with Jeanette at the Casino, but this year was the exception.

  I definitely had post-Christmas blues, I acknowledged as I sat at my desk back after a few days off. I wondered why each of those days had seemed like an eternity. Of course, it would have gone quicker if I had gone out, especially over the weekend, but my heart wasn’t in it. It was the second last day of the year and I only had a few days until Brendon returned, until I needed to make my decision.

  “So, what’s your New Year’s resolution, being more open with your friends?” The voice came from behind me. I had been wool-gathering, again.

  I turned to face him. “Ha-ha Peter, very funny. And what’s yours, minding your own business?”

  After he had returned to the squad room, I began to think about what, in fact, my New Year’s resolution would be. Over the last few years my resolutions had all been about self-improvement, from going on a diet, joining a gym or fitness class, to taking up cycling. So why should this year’s be any different?

  Having cosmetic surgery was self-improvement, right? I shook my head. No, surely I wasn’t trying to justify it to myself as a New Year’s resolution? Was I that desperate to keep Brendon in my life? Would it mean we would be exclusive and I could get rid of that other woman’s clothes? Conversely, I wondered what life would be like without Brendon in it. Could I let him go?

  Later in the afternoon, I sent him a text, ‘Ive made my decision’

  I was not surprised my mobile rang a few minutes later. As soon as I answered the call, I reeled off the words I had prepared. “Before you ask, I want to tell you in person.”

  “I want you to tell me now.” Amazingly, he was still making demands, even from the other side of the country.

  “Maybe I should rephrase that, I need to tell you in person.”

  He made no comment and I broke into the silence. “I can’t talk, I’m at work. I’ve gotta go; I’ll tell you when you get back.” I hung up quickly before he could speak.

  “Brendon?” I glanced at the clock and saw it was after midnight. Why would he be calling so late? Diane and I had both gone to bed ages ago.

  “Open the door.”

  “What door, why?” I asked. He wasn’t making sense.

  “I’m downstairs.”

  “Oh… really?” His words began to filter through to my brain.

  “Yes really, now are you going to open the god damn door or not?”

  Chapter 21

  I could not quite believe my eyes that he was here in the flesh, in my bedroom. I was in shock.

  “I’m back, so now you can tell me.”

  Oh my god, he was unbelievable! He had flown back late at night, because he couldn’t wait for my answer. I felt self-conscious; I was wearing cotton shorts and a tank top, while he was decked out in a suit, no less.

  I delayed my response with a question. “Why couldn’t you wait until the 2nd?”

  He came towards me and grasping my chin, bent my head back and leant over to kiss me firmly on the lips. His tongue forced them apart and then he devoured my mouth, with an intensity I was both surprised and thrilled by. His mouth eventually released mine; I felt dazed and a little light-headed.

  He was breathing hard as he answered. “When I want something, I generally get it, without having to wait.”

  “I must be something of a disappointment to you then.”

  Was it concern I saw on his face? “Don’t say that, don’t ever say that again.”

  He took a step back and stared at me so intently, it made me feel uncomfortable. He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. “Regardless of what your answer is, I want you to come back to my place because…”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  He gave a short laugh. “I see you still like to interrupt me. What am I going to do with you?” He was shaking his head as he spoke and I was ashamed to admit it, but I felt aroused at his words.

  I blushed, lowered my eyes and bent my head, more from my wanton feelings, than guilt at interrupting him. He came closer and again raised my chin, this time with one finger. “Because… it’s a little crowded here, don’t you think?”

  “You want to go now?”

  “Yes, now.”

  I had told him to be quiet because Diane was sleeping, but now he wanted to use it as an excuse to take me home and what?

  Well, I guess I could play along and see what his next move would be.

  “Okay. I have to get changed.”

  He nodded and sat on my armchair, with his legs stretched out and arms crossed over his chest. Obviously he was going to watch.

  “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable waiting downstairs while I get ready?”

  “No thanks, I’m fine as I am.”

  I could feel his eyes on me, as I searched for something to wear. In the end, I purposely chose non-Brendon, non-sexy clothes; my favourite Cold Chisel T-shirt, grey cargo pants and flat slip-on sandals.

  “By the way, why are you wearing a suit?”

  “I had a function I couldn’t get out of and then I went straight to the airport.”

  I didn’t realise we had to take my car. He had caught a taxi straight from the airport, not bothering to stop at his place. What if I hadn’t been home, then what? No doubt he would have waited for me, like last time.

  When driving, I always listened to the radio and tonight was no exception. Christina Aguilera’s Beautiful came on and I could not help but think about the lyrics and how they related to me, or not as the case may be. The longer the song went, the more melancholy I became. I wanted to change the station, but didn’t want him to know how deeply it affected me.

  He held my hand as we climbed the steps and he led me inside his house. Now I understood why he wanted me here, this was his domain where he reigned.

  After relieving me of my purse, he took my hands. “Now we’re alone, face to face, you can tell me your decision.”

  As I gazed up at him, images of the past two months replayed in my head; our meeting in the park, the discipline along with our sexual encounters; with only a few that could be called lovemaking. He was always in control.

  “You hinted I would be your girlfriend if I agreed.” He nodded in confirmation.

  “What does that mean? How would our relationship be different?”

  “It will be the more you’ve been wanting.”

  I was waiting for him to elaborate but instead he continued to stare down at me, his expression unreadable. “What, exactly, does that mean?”

  He sighed at my question. “It means all and sundry will know you’re my girlfriend.”

  “Would we be exclusive, you wouldn’t see anyone else?”

  He frown at my question. “Of course not, and I would insist the same applies to you. Now quit stalling and tell me, please.”

  Shyly, I lowered my head before replying softly, “I can’t believe I’m saying this but yes, if that’s what it takes, then I agree.”

  I was immediately grabbed around the waist and hauled over his shoulder cave-man style, with my upper body hanging upside down against his back. I squealed with shock and delight, as wordlessly he carried me up the stairs, appearing to have no trouble bearing my weight.

  In his room, he threw me down on the bed almost winding me, where he quickly dispensed with my well-chosen clothes and proceeded to ravish me. He d
idn’t tell me what to do or ask what I wanted. In fact, he didn’t speak at all and for me, that was the most stimulating part. The first night with Brendon I was too embarrassed to tell him, but what had just transpired was in fact, my ultimate fantasy.

  Afterwards, he pulled me close with my face against his chest. I could feel my body quivering, almost like orgasmic aftershocks. He must have wrongly interpreted my shaking, as he pulled away slightly and raised my face to his. “Are you all right, I hope I wasn’t too forceful?”

  He held my cheeks in both hands and looked at me with concern, as though he was worried at how his rough treatment had affected me. For the moment, I couldn’t speak. I knew my face was flushed and my eyes must have been bright with unshed tears, tears of joy and fulfilment; but he wasn’t to know the reason. All I could do, was shake my head wordlessly.

  “I’ve missed you. I was hot for you, for your body and when you said yes, it was the final straw. I had to have you, there and then. I’m sorry.”

  I smiled up at him and finally found my voice. “Don’t be sorry, I enjoyed every minute, it was incredible.”

  His expression changed to one of surprise at my words, then recovering, he too smiled and drew me into a tight embrace. I stayed what was left of the night, locked there within his arms, as I thought, there was no place I would rather be.

  End of 1st Quarter

  “Quarter Time”

  GETTING TACKLED

  “Paying the Penalty”

  EXCERPT FROM

  2nd QUARTER

  of

  PLAYING THE GAME

  4 Quarters of Submission

  BY

  LORRAINE LOVEIT