Pause

by Micki Fredricks

  Callie left the kitchen, her last words hanging in the air. With a plate of food in hand, she headed toward the guesthouse. Her heart pounded out a steady beat and she hoped with everything inside her that she was doing the right thing. There were so many ways this could go wrong.

  Something had happened between Andy and Trey earlier, but Andy had dismissed it in front of the others. Callie wasn’t exactly excited about being alone with a violent person, but she also knew Lauren was right, they were close to losing Trey completely. For Eve’s sake, she had to try everything she could.

  Callie stopped at the bottom of the steps that led to the side door of the guesthouse. She ran a hand lightly over her hair and grabbed the bottom of her braid. “This is silly,” she said out loud to herself as she tried to swallow past a lump in her throat. She paced a few steps back and forth anyway. Trey didn’t seem like the type of man who wanted to be coddled. He certainly wasn’t in the right frame of mind for her to try to convince him that none of this was his fault.

  She thought about Eve, Lauren, and little Alex. They all loved him so much and he couldn’t see it…no, wouldn’t let himself see it. He refused to see what he was doing to his family, and shame on him for shutting them out when they needed him the most. How dare he take advantage of his family’s love like that? How thick-headed did he have to be not to realize how much they had sacrificed for him and the lengths they would go to make sure he was okay?

  He was a foolish, selfish man who needed someone in his life to tell him exactly what he was doing to the people around him.

  In the shadows of the setting sun, she made her plan. She would start by marching right up those steps and telling Trey how rude it was to upset his mother by skipping the family dinner. He seemed like a guy who would want it all up front, no sugarcoating, just give him the truth. So that’s what she was going to do. She would tell Mr. Hotty Pants O’Brien that his family needed him and he should wake up before it was too late.

  Callie was fully engaged in her internal pep talk as she climbed the few stairs to the side door. And that’s where she froze, looking in through the screen door and straight into the guesthouse.

  It was breathtaking. Eve had shared with her the story of how the O’Brien boys, alongside their dad, had gutted and rebuilt the old work cabin, but she was entirely unprepared for the stunning craftsmanship that had obviously gone into each detail.

  But even more beautiful than the hand-crafted stairs and the rich, stained planks on the walls, was Trey O’Brien.

  He stood with his hands braced against the wood mantel, head hung low, staring into the fire. Callie’s breath caught in her throat as she watched a million thoughts race over his beautiful face. The dancing flames highlighted his sandy blonde hair while keeping most of his face hidden in the shadows. Her eyes roamed across what she could see of his nearly perfect profile. His work shirt was gone, replaced by a clean, white t-shirt that stretched across his muscled back and clung tightly around his defined biceps.

  A fierce wave of emotion suddenly hit her. Trey had lost so much too. The weight of Jamie’s death was palpable within every aspect of Trey’s life. In one moment, because of something he had no control over, his life had been hurled into a fiery abyss. And he’d surrendered to it.

  Callie let out a small gasp, her shoulders dropping as suddenly all of Trey’s torn edges were apparent to her. His suffering was more than she could have ever imagined and she mimicked Eve’s actions in the kitchen as she covered her own heart with her hand.

  Shackled by her confusion, she found herself locked within a fierce internal battle. The need to protect him was so intense and she wanted nothing more than to be able to steal his pain away, even if that meant somehow carrying the burden herself. But her life was driven by a wild force of self-preservation now. One that recognized this was a dangerous situation and demanded a freefall away from him.

  A small flutter began in her stomach as she reached for her braid once again. She glanced back at the house and then down to the plate in her hand. How could she have read this situation so badly? She was completely unprepared for this…and there was so much at stake.

  “You coming in, or are you just going to stand there gawking?”

  Callie startled at the sound of his husky voice, nearly dropping the plate. A shiver slid up her spine and she felt suspended in the moment. Not wanting to respond to him, fearful of how intensely she might feel his pain, she froze.

  But her desire to understand the depth of his pain won out, so she steadied herself, took a deep breath, and stepped inside.

  Trey didn’t move. His eyes remained fixated on the fire as it continued to throw shadows across his face. Standing in front of her was just a man – ragged with destructive emotions warring against his own heart. It was both tragically beautiful and terrifying to watch as someone’s soul tried to fade out.

  She hurt for him, deeply. His sadness radiated around the room and stole away all of her own securities she had built for protection. She felt heavy as tears threatened and she choked on her foolish struggle to say the right thing.

  “What do you want, Callie?” His voice was neither angry nor inviting. It was void of any emotion, distant and detached. Not unlike how he lived the rest of his life.

  “I’m sorry,” Callie cringed when her voice came out just above a whisper. She wanted to appear less affected by him. Stronger. She cleared her throat and he turned his head to look at her. His intense stare made her feel something deep inside of her spark to life. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”

  She opened the door and stepped inside. Callie shifted her weight as the silence stretched out between them. Trey kept his eyes on her, slowly perusing every dip and curve of her small frame. She felt stripped raw and vulnerable in his controlled stillness. She wasn’t made for this. She thrived off movement and transformation. He was stagnant and unwilling to change. Still, there was something in the deep recesses of his eyes that held the spark she craved.

  “I told Alex I wasn’t hungry,” he said roughly as he pushed himself away from the mantel.

  He turned to face her, pushing both hands into the front pockets of his jeans, making them slip further down on his hips and exposing just a sliver of toned abs.

  “We know what you told her and if you keep “telling her” things, she will have college paid for by the time she’s in the fourth grade.” The words rushed out of Callie’s mouth as she turned away from him, trying to hide the flush that crept up her face.

  The corner of Trey’s mouth pulled into a smirk, but just as quickly it was gone.

  “Your mom was worried about you not eating supper.” Callie took a few hesitant steps into the cabin and set the plate on the large island.

  “Wow, this place is amazing,” she whispered as she walked toward the staircase.

  Trey followed her, watching as she ran her fingers across the hand-carved banister. “Your mom told me your dad gave you this place when you were just a boy.” She looked at him and warmth coiled deep in her stomach as his green eyes connected with hers. She pointed up the stairwell.

  Trey nodded his head, “Bedroom.”

  She dropped her eyes to the ground, clearing her throat. “She said you and your brother spent many hours out here working with your dad.”

  It wasn’t a question, but when she looked back at him, he nodded his head again.

  His eyes on her were like fire and ice and once again she was lost in him. An addicting mix of pain and comfort that she never knew she was hungry for until this very moment.

  Needing to break the trance he had her under, she moved toward the windows overlooking the backyard.

  “I can’t imagine how important this place must be to you,” she said reverently. She looked out to the stream as the sunset reflected in the water. “It’s so beautiful.”

  His reflection in the window suddenly appeared behind her but he wasn’t looking at the sunset. His eyes locked on her and she knew the battle that raged insi
de of him. His desire to survive and feel anything other than the emptiness was warring with the need to keep every emotion in check.

  She held her breath as he reached out, lightly running his fingers down the thick braid that fell down the center of her back.

  “Trey,” she whispered, looking down, unsure what else to say.

  He removed the elastic band and slowly began to unweave her hair. She shuddered as his hands moved higher, continuing to release her hair from the bonds. He took a step closer and leaned in, resting his head on hers. Slowly and ever so lightly, he ran his fingers up her arms and over her shoulders until he reached the nape of her neck. “I like it better down and wild,” he said as one hand slid into her hair, parting and separating until it spread out against her back. He gently grabbed a handful and pulled her head back toward him as he wrapped an arm around her small waist. She gasped, shocked by the pleasure she felt, desperately reaching for his legs behind her.

  The heat of his breath teased across her ear, making her knees weak. “What are you really doing here, Callie?”

  She tried to speak, but Trey’s touch had silenced her. His voice, his scent. She felt only him. His rapid breaths in her ear, his hand pressed against her stomach. He began a soft sway behind her. She closed her eyes, enjoying the gentle friction between their bodies.

  He pulled her back even closer with a little more aggression and buried his face in her neck. She gasped, not because it hurt, but because it fed the fire in her veins.

  “Answer me, Callie,” he demanded. “Why are you here?”

  “I’m here for your mom,” she said breathlessly.

  “Maybe…” he whispered as he teased the soft spot behind her ear with the tip of his tongue, tasting her, “you could be here for me, too?”

  Callie once again caught their reflection in the window and it wasn’t Trey she saw this time, but his brokenness.

  What was she doing? She snapped out of her trance and turned toward him. He was so close and all-consuming. Thick, corded arms reached out and wrapped around her waist pulling her closer. She placed her hands on his firm chest, hoping to keep some distance between them, but not really wanting it. Without looking up, because she knew she would be a goner if she looked into his eyes, she said, “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

  He buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply, “I think it’s a fantastic idea. No one needs to know. It could be our little secret,” he paused, pulling her tightly against him. “Just like the dance we had last night.”

  Her eyes snapped up to his as she pushed against his chest and distanced herself. Oh my god, it was him. She felt heat creeping up her neck as she tried to control the twisting in her stomach.

  He smirked down at her, lifting his arms out to the side as he spoke, “Now you can understand why I’m a little concerned about you being here.”

  She tried to walk around him, but he moved, blocking her path. “I’m worried that my mom suddenly meets some crazy, dancing in the rain, gardening girl on social media and invites her to our home to stay for a while.”

  “Yes, Trey. That’s exactly what this is,” her words rushed out as she pushed against his rock-hard chest again, trying to get him to move. “I’m the crazy one.” He stepped to the side to let her go by, but she lost her balance. He reached for her, saving her from a fall, but used the opportunity to pull her tightly against his chest. Again. She shouldn’t like it so much.

  “Well, it seems like since you’ve shown up, my mom is barking orders at me, you’re making promises to show up at my niece’s school, and I’m getting in fist fights with my best friend.”

  Anger surged through Callie as she stood there, toe to toe, with this giant of a man.

  “First off, let me go, you Neanderthal,” she growled. Surprisingly, he released her. She righted herself before darting around him, just in case he got the notion to manhandle her again.

  “And if I remember correctly, I wasn’t the only crazy person dancing in the rain last night. You seemed to like it.” She held two fingers up in the air and shook them in his direction, “Secondly, I didn’t promise Alex anything. I clearly explained if I happened to be here still, I would come to her school and I will. You are the one who promised her, and in the short time I’ve been here, it seems like you have a real problem with breaking your word to the people you care about. And three…” she took the opportunity to poke a finger right into his chest as he closed the distance between them, “your mom yelled at you because you’re an asshole! And that’s probably the same reason your best friend punched you!”

  He grabbed ahold of the finger she had poked him with and stared directly into her eyes. Her entire body shook with fear and anticipation, and something else she didn’t want to acknowledge.

  “I’m here because your mom asked me to come. That’s the only reason and I will stay until she no longer needs me. If you think your assholery behavior is going to scare me off, please, I’ve faced much scarier things than Trey O’Brien.”

  She yanked her hand from his grip and marched past him. Needing to get out of there and as far away from Trey as she could, she headed for the door, but turned at the last second and grabbed the plate of food from the island.

  His eyes widened, “Hey, that’s for me!”

  “I know,” she said, smiling as she held the plate above the garbage can. “Have a great night. I’ll see you around.”

  His eyes narrowed when he spoke, his voice low and promising. “You can count on it. I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

  “Looking forward to it,” she snapped as she dropped the plate and stomped out the door.

  Eight

  “Morning, Sunshine!” Callie sang out as the water hit Trey in the face.

  “What the,” he roared as he sprang up from the floor in front of the fireplace. He ran his hand over his face, sputtering and pushing his wet hair back.

  Callie strolled back to the kitchen, dropping the cup into the sink. “Your mom said you go to work early, so I thought I would help you out by making sure you get there on time.”

  His mouth hung open in disbelief as he watched her glide across the living room and throw back the heavy drapes that were pulled tight over the windows. He growled and covered his eyes as the sunlight flooded into the room.

  She spun on her heels, tipping her head to the side and planting her hands firmly on her hips. Flashing him the most annoyingly cute smile he’d ever seen, she purred, “Aww, is Trey a grumpy grump in the morning?”

  He shook his head, water flying in every direction. “Only when I get woken up by a crazy person.”

  She tipped her head back and let out a belly laugh, “Well, you’re in luck. This will be the only morning, ever, that I’m waking you up. Now get moving.” She put her hands down, making a sweeping motion as she shooed him toward the door.

  “And take this nasty stuff with you,” she added as she kicked all the empty beer cans Trey had left on the floor around him last night, toward him. He paused for a second, watching her in shock. Who did this little blonde think she was?

  She stopped for a second, opening her eyes wide like she was dealing with a child. Her arm suddenly came up and she pointed toward the door. “Well, get going,” she ordered as she kicked a can in his direction.

  He leaned down, stumbling as he tried to pick up the empty cans that rolled in his direction. His back was up against the screen door and he realized this was his final stand, “You seem to forget this is my guesthouse.”

  “Your mom says it’s mine until I leave, so get your crap and get out.”

  “Whoa there, little girl. I did all of this with my own hands.” He wildly pointed in a circle making sure she understood all of this was his work. “This is my land, my space, and my family. If I want to stay, I’m going to stay.”

  She quirked up an eyebrow at him, “Great. It’s beautiful, they are wonderful and blah, blah, blah. Glad to hear it. Now get out.”

  “Blah, blah, blah?” he
repeated, pushing his chest out and tipping his head to the side, questioning if she’d just said that.

  “Yes…blah, blah, blah.” She picked up his work boots and threw them at him as he stumbled back out the door. It slammed shut in front of him.

  He had been effectively removed from the guesthouse by a 5’2, blonde honey badger.

  “Did you seriously just blah, blah, blah all the work I’ve put into this place AND my entire family?” He stood there, watching her through the screen door as she brushed her hands together in front of her and smiled to herself like she had just taken out the trash. Suddenly her face lit up like she had an idea. She lifted a finger in the air and spun around, heading into the kitchen.

  With her back to him, she called over her shoulder, “Of course not, your family is amazing. But you?”

  A giddy, almost crazy laugh filled the cabin. Trey watched her until she opened the kitchen drawer he knew held the knives. Very sharp knives. He quickly grabbed his boots and all the empty cans he could, deciding it might be better to escape in case whatever crazy idea she just came up with involved him.

  “Well, you really suck,” she hollered.

  He rushed to his truck and dumped everything into the bed. What the hell time was it anyway? It couldn’t be much past sunrise. He looked at his watch…5:37 a.m. He shook his head as he ran a hand down his face.

  Suddenly the door swung open and Trey startled, spinning around and facing her, holding his hands up in a defensive stance. Callie stepped out onto the small, wooden porch and laughed. “You sure look like a superhero there - barefoot and standing in your little boy undies,” shaking the butcher knife at him. “The great Trey O’Brien huh? It looks to me like the mighty have fallen.”

  Trey looked down at himself, just now fully realizing he was only in his boxers. He didn’t even have time to respond before she lined up the six, full beer cans he’d left in the refrigerator along the wooden railing and turned to go back inside. “Hmm…I wonder what else I can find in here?”