Live Like You Mean It

by Ava Stone

  “Wait a minute. Let him settle in.”

  “You just tell me when, then.”

  “Did you mean what you said about Leah?”

  God, what had I said? The whole conversation with Meghan had turned my brain inside out. I’d said I hadn’t known Leah at the time I’d fucked the other girl. That was true. And then I knew what he meant… “That she’s the most amazing girl I’ve ever met?”

  “You really mean that?”

  I did, with every breath I took. “Yeah, I mean it. “

  “She deserves to have someone care about her like that.” Mike Willett heaved a sigh. “But I swear to God, Campbell, you rip her heart out of her chest and they’ll never find your body.”

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Jason’s voice sounded from behind me.

  “Meghan let the damn cat get out,” Mike said from his position.

  “And between the two of you, you can’t get him?”

  I suspected we could have, but staring at the cat under a Rhododendron had given us a chance to clear the air without having to actually look each other in the eyes. “You think you can do better?” I glanced over my shoulder at the jackass.

  Jason scowled at me as he crouched down beside me. “Winston!” he gushed, looking under the bush. “What a pretty boy you are.”

  The cat meowed. Then he walked right out of the bushes and into Jason’s hands.

  I stared at the guitarist. “What, are you the fucking cat whisperer or something?”

  He smirked in response. “He just likes me.” Then he pushed up to his feet at the same time Mike Willett did.

  “More like that political silver tongue of yours even works on cats.” Mike started towards his friend. “Hey, your mom coming over?”

  “She’s not feeling up to it today.” Jason shook his head. “I’ll take her a plate.”

  His mom. His dying mom. My gut twisted for Jason. I didn’t like him and I never would, but I couldn’t imagine what he must be going through. If anything ever happened to my mom…

  I’d just put the fruit salad on the dining room table when Mike and Jason stepped into the house, and Jason placed the black and white escape artist on the tile floor at his feet.

  “Hey, Jase.” I smiled as the cat bolted for parts unknown. “You had to wrangle Winston again, huh?”

  “One of my many talents.” He smiled back as he and my brother started down the hallway.

  Then Brody slid back inside the house and closed the front door behind him. He didn’t look quite right. A frown marred his handsome face and his eyes seemed distant, like he was lost or something. Was it the fact that Jason was here? Or had Mike been an asshole outside?

  “You ok?” I asked, crossing the floor to stand before him.

  His brow lifted in surprise. “Third time you’ve asked me that. I’m still ok.”

  I shrugged. “Well, I’ll probably keep asking it until you look ok.”

  He feigned a smile for my benefit. “Better?”

  A laugh escaped me. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. I mean, there’s a whole lot of my family here. I get that. If it’s too much…”

  He dipped his head down and pressed his lips to mine, making heat shoot right through me. Kissing Brody always seemed to make my knees weak. I even had to grab a handful of his shirt just to stay upright.

  After a moment, he pulled back slightly and looked down at me. “It’s not too much. I—” he just looked at me, like there was something he wanted to say but was conflicted about doing so “—Well, I’ll take you anyway I can have you.”

  “Was Mike an asshole outside or something?”

  He shook his head. “A whole lot nicer than I expected he’d be.”

  “Oh. Well, that’s good.” Maybe the conversation with my brother about Meghan had hit home and he was really gonna give Brody a chance. “Maybe you can take him to the Hayley Byrne concert tomorrow, then.”

  “Yeah.” Brody scoffed. “Don’t push your luck, Leah.”

  That probably was too much to ask. “Worth a shot,” I teased. “Anyway, brunch is ready if you wanna help carry some food into the dining room?”

  “Sure.”

  And then Mike, carrying a platter of breakfast ham, started down the hallway toward us. Brody and I moved to the side so my brother could get past us, then we started for the kitchen, hand in hand.

  I glanced back over my shoulder to look at my brother. “Hey, I thought Meghan was here.”

  Brody tensed at my side, and Mike frowned in response.

  “She left,” my brother replied. “She’s not coming back.”

  She wasn’t coming back? She hadn’t missed one brunch in the last two years, not when she was in town, anyway. Something was wrong. I slid my hand from Brody’s. “If you’ll go help Mom,” I began, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

  An uneasy look flashed in Brody’s eyes and he glanced back at Mike. What was that about? Then he nodded and made his way toward the kitchen.

  I turned around to face my brother. “What’s going on?”

  He shrugged. “Nothing.”

  Uh-huh. I’d grown up with Mike. I always knew when he was lying. He could never look me in the eyes, just like he was doing right then. “Michael,” I complained. “What do you mean she’s not coming back?”

  He heaved a sigh. “We broke up, Leah. Just let it go, ok?”

  My mouth fell open and I was completely dumbfounded. Meghan always hung on Mike’s every word like he’d personally hung the moon. “You broke up?” I echoed even though he’d asked me to let it go. I mean, it just didn’t seem possible that was true. Until two minutes earlier, I was certainly that girl was going to be my sister-in-law. And though I’d never liked her, I didn’t want my brother to be miserable.

  Mike’s eyes lit momentarily. “Well, when I found out you didn’t like her…”

  “Michael,” I grumbled. He couldn’t be serious. He wouldn’t breakup with Meghan just because I didn’t like her.

  “So—” he nodded toward the kitchen “—since you don’t have to put up with her any more, I don’t have to tolerate that walking STD, right?”

  I narrowed my eyes on my brother. “Nice try, Mike. I put up with Meghan for two years.”

  He heaved another sigh. “So I have to put two years into Brody Campbell, is that what you’re saying?”

  More or less. “And he’s not a walking STD.”

  Mike snorted at that. “Whatever you say.” He closed the gap between us and added softly, “Leah, I’ll put up with him as long as you’re happy, but then all bets are off.”

  “And if I’m happy forever?” I asked, knowing it was foolish as soon as it left my lips. No one was happy forever. I’d never seen that. But I was happy now, happier than I’d been in a really long time. And I didn’t want it to ever end.

  My brother’s gray eyes seemed to assess me and then he said, “Then I’ll happily eat crow.”

  And I’d happily feed it to him. But right then I was worried about him, about his breakup. There hadn’t been any indication this morning that there was trouble in paradise. What in the world could have happened today? “Hey, about Meghan. You wanna talk about it?”

  “Nope,” he said with a finality to his voice that left no room for me to probe any further. Mike wasn’t the most talkative guy in the world, but I expected more than We broke up. Just let it go, ok? He’d dated Meghan for more than two years. That was a long time to put into a relationship just to call it quits with no notice.

  “Mommy!” Aiden called from the staircase. “I want Winston.”

  “He’s in the house, sweetie.” I nodded toward the staircase and said to my brother, “You gotta go make up with your nephew. You hurt his feelings earlier.”

  Mike rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t take him with me, Leah.”

  I shrugged. “You didn’t have to yell at him.”

  “I didn’t yell. I spoke sternly.”

  “Which is the same as yelling if yo
u’re three years old.”

  “Oh good God,” Mike muttered under his breath as he scrubbed a hand across his face. “Come on, Aiden,” he called a half-second later. “It’s time to eat.” Then he started toward the staircase. “You can sit next to me if you want.”

  Brody and Jason walked toward me, each carrying a tray of food on their way to the dining room.

  “Your mom’s looking for Meghan,” Jason said to me as he passed.

  “She’s not coming,” I replied, though I still didn’t understand why and it didn’t seem like I was going to find out anytime soon.

  Brody caught my eye as he followed Jason into the dining room. “You ok?” he asked me, worry etched across his brow.

  Now he was asking me that question? “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  He shrugged a bit, which didn’t put me at ease at all. It was almost like he knew something I didn’t.

  But I didn’t have time to dwell on what I didn’t know. All of the food was ready and everyone was starting to crowd into the dining room. Brody sat beside me and Aiden was across the table, sandwiched in between Jason and Mike. Mom sat at the head and made us all hold hands while she said a prayer.

  I peeked one eye open to find Brody’s gaze settled on me and I felt it all the way to my toes. I somehow managed not to sigh, but just barely. He was everything. He was perfect. He was all I’d ever wanted and so much more.

  “Amen,” Mom said and everyone dropped hands.

  Then there was a quick rush to fill everyone’s plates and pass bowls and platters up and down the length of the table. Beside me, Brody seemed anxious and that feeling seeped into me too.

  Under the table, he squeezed my leg like he could tell I was on edge. And while that helped a little, I was still pretty worried.

  As soon as brunch was over and the dishes were in the washer, Brody slid his hand around mine and tugged me into the hallway. “Can we get outta here for a while?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Just as soon as I get Aiden down for his nap.”

  “Ok.” He nodded quickly.

  He was anxious to leave. I could tell it. Brunch had been too much of my family. And Jason. But Mom had invited him and he had wanted to come. “You wanna go on ahead and I’ll meet you later?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “I’ll—No. Just ready whenever you are.”

  “Ok.” I flashed him a smile. “I have to read him a story first and then we can go.” Then I tugged him back into the TV room where Mike and Jason were watching golf. Aiden looked exhausted on Mike’s lap, his head rested against my brother’s chest. He’d fall asleep in no time, I was sure. “Come on, sweetie, time for a nap.”

  He scowled at me. “No nap, Mommy.”

  Why was it that whenever he was the most tired he fought taking a nap the most ardently? “Not up for debate, Aiden. Come on. We’ll read Winston’s book first, ok?”

  His frown deepened.

  “Winston has a book?” Brody asked, his brow lifted in question.

  I bit back a smile. He didn’t know it, but he’d just said the perfect thing. “Aiden!” I feigned being shocked. “Brody doesn’t know about Winston’s book. We gotta show it to him.”

  A half-second later, Aiden slid from Mike’s lap and padded across the floor toward Brody and me. “Sun did not shine,” Aiden began to recite the book, blinking up at Brody as though he couldn’t believe anyone hadn’t heard of Winston’s book.

  “What?” My sexy bassist looked at me out of the corner of his eye, completely confused.

  “Cat in the Hat,” I said. “Come on, we’ll read it upstairs.” I scooped Aiden up in my arms and started down the hallway toward the staircase. Brody was right behind me, his hand on the small of my back. It felt so perfect having him there, having his hand on me, feeling his warmth seep through my shirt into my skin.

  I carried Aiden into his room and placed him in the middle of this twin bed, which was decorated in fire engines and Dalmatians.

  “Winston book,” he said.

  And I nodded. “Yes, yes.” I spotted the thin blue book next to the rocking chair where Mom must have dropped it after last night’s story time. And I picked it up. “Here it is.”

  “Brody read it,” Aiden folded his arm across his chest, in one of his grumpier moods.

  “Uh-huh,” I glanced back over at Brody, still in the doorway. “You don’t have to read it, if you don’t want to.”

  “No.” His blue eyes lit up. “I want to read Winston’s book. He’s talked it up now.” He slid the children’s book from my hand into his and then went and sat on the edge of Aiden’s bed. He tapped the cover. “I had no idea Winston was so famous.”

  “Sun did not shine,” Aiden said, reaching forward, trying to open the book.

  “I got it. I got it.” Brody ruffled Aiden’s hair. “Lay down so I can read it.”

  Aiden instantly followed the order. Brody opened the book and leaned back so Aiden could see the pictures.

  I dropped into the rocking chair, watching my son giggle as Brody regaled him with the antics of The Cat in the Hat. My heart expanded at the sight. On my life, it was the prettiest, most heartwarming scene I’d ever seen.

  Brody turned page after page, reading the story with such gusto, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d been the lead in every high school play. He even had a very silly voice he used for the cat. Aiden was giggling the whole time and all I could do was smile at the two of them. I’d never imagined that I could have all of this. It hadn’t ever seemed possible.

  “What would you do if your mother asked you?” Brody said and then closed the book and turned his gaze on Aiden. “Well, what would you do? Would you tell your Mom?”

  Aiden giggled as he shook his head. “No.”

  “No?” I echoed, walking over to the bed. “You wouldn’t tell me if Winston balanced a fishbowl on an umbrella or flew kites in the house with Thing One and Thing Two?”

  Aiden shook his head again. “No.”

  “I don’t know,” Brody said. “Your mom seems pretty cool. I bet you could tell her anything.”

  “See?” I folded my arms across my chest. “Brody tells me everything.”

  Brody’s gaze darted back to mine and I had an awful feeling that there was something he wasn’t telling me. He looked like I’d caught him in some lie. Shit. I’d been so happy just a few minutes before. What wasn’t he telling me?

  I feigned a smile, hoping Brody couldn’t see through me and then looked down at Aiden. “Nap time.”

  He thrust out a lip in a pout.

  I was unmoved. “I’ll see you when you wake up, sweetie.”

  “And Brody,” Aiden added.

  “We’ll see,” I replied noncommittally.

  Brody pushed off the bed, said a quick good night to Aiden and then followed me back into the hallway.

  “Where to?” I whispered.

  “My place?” he suggested.

  And even though I knew something wasn’t right, I agreed with a nod. “I just have to be back in about two hours.”

  A grin flashed on his face. “Totally doable.”

  “So you have Thanksgiving every Sunday, huh?” I asked as I sped out of Somerset Downs, more than happy to be leaving Jason and his condescending glares in my wake. If only I could leave my guilty consciousness behind too.

  “Thanksgiving?” Leah looked at me like I was crazy. “There was no turkey, no dressing, no cranberry sauce. What kind of Thanksgiving do you have at home, Brody?”

  “At home?” I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “That is not how the Campbells do Thanksgiving, babe.”

  I turned onto Berkshire Parkway and stopped at the light.

  “How do the Campbells do Thanksgiving?” she asked.

  “Not at home.” I shook my head just as the light turned green. “There’s this restaurant in Buckhead,” I began as I hit the gas, “not far from the house. Five star place, my dad’s favorite. There all the time. Anyway, every Thanksgiving I can remember my whole
life was spent there. And it is to die for, but…” God, I’d sound so corny if I finished that sentence.

  “But…?” she prodded.

  “Nothing. It’s just stupid.” I saw her frown at me out of the corner of my eye. Fine. “It’s just not what you have, Leah. Everyone sitting around the table, passing dishes up one side and down the other. Everyone talking. Everyone glad to see each other. It’s not like that at all.”

  “We weren’t all that talkative today,” she said quietly. “Brunch isn’t what it used to be.”

  Because Meghan was gone? My gut twisted again. I was gonna have to tell her the truth about that. I didn’t know why her brother hadn’t, but I couldn’t let that just hang out there and wait for it to fall on me. “Yeah?” I asked, hedging for time. I had to tell her, but I didn’t have to just blurt it out, right?

  “Jason’s mom being sick. His dad’s always in DC these days. Actually, I can’t remember the last time I saw Mr. Cole.”

  I didn’t know shit about either of Jason’s parents. And I usually couldn’t care less. I did still feel bad finding out about his mom’s diagnosis though.

  “And then,” she added like she wasn’t sure if she should say anything else.

  “Then what?” I asked.

  “Well, I think Mike and Jason were a little surprised you were there to tell you the truth. Mom must not have mentioned it.”

  “Sure I’m the last person choirboy expected to see today,” I agreed.

  “I’ve just never had any guy over for brunch before.”

  That hit me right in the chest. She hadn’t ever had any guy over for brunch before? Not one of the three possible fathers to her child? Not some high school boyfriend? Not some random friend at some point? I wasn’t sure what to say about that. But it gave me a little bit of courage to tell her the truth…

  “Well, your brother had other stuff on his mind, I think too.” I might as well just say it. Get it out in the open and then do whatever damage control, right? I mean it had to be done. It would be better for her to hear this from me than from someone else.

  “Yeah, he definitely did.” She shook her head as she looked out the passenger window. “I’m still pretty shocked. I wish Mike had told me what happened. But he’s always so tight-lipped. Very frustrating.”