Live Like You Mean It

by Ava Stone

  I sucked in a breath, glad I didn’t have to look her in the eyes as I said, “I slept with her, Leah.”

  “What?” she breathed out.

  And I winced. “Just one time,” I said. “I never saw her again until today. She said something to me and your brother heard and…” I chanced a look over at her to find her staring at me in shock.

  “You slept with Meghan?”

  There hadn’t been any sleeping. There hadn’t even been a bed. But it sounded a whole lot better than saying I’d fucked her, even if that was the truth. “Yeah.”

  “When?” I barely heard her.

  At least that question wouldn’t get me into trouble. “Middle of the summer.” I looked back at the road and changed lanes so I could make the turn onto Prince in a mile or so.

  “She cheated on Mike?”

  “Yeah.” I downshifted as the turn was coming up on me.

  “How’d you meet her? Where? What happened?”

  I looked over at her once more. “You really want me to answer all of that?” Then I pulled into the turn lane, and prayed she didn’t really want me to tell her all the gory details.

  “No.” She sighed. “No, I really don’t.”

  Thank God.

  “No wonder he called you a walking STD,” she muttered under her breath, but I heard her just fine.

  “He called me a walking STD?” I asked. What the fuck?

  Leah snorted. “You’re not really in the position to play the innocent, wounded party, Brody.”

  Says the girl who doesn’t know who the father of her child is. Those words almost flew out of my mouth and I had to bite them back because I was pretty sure she’d never speak to me again if I said them out loud. Still, I hadn’t done anything wrong with Meghan. I mean, I hadn’t cheated on anyone. And I couldn’t be held responsible for someone else’s cheating, even if I was the one they’d cheated with, not if I didn’t know the girl had a boyfriend. Right? “Hey, I’ve never pretended to be a saint, Leah. You knew exactly who I was when you met me.”

  “He was going to ask her to marry him,” she said softly.

  Then he’d dodged a fucking bullet finding out who the girl was now, in my opinion. But I didn’t think Leah would appreciate me saying that either. “She didn’t mention a boyfriend that night.” I was pretty sure she hadn’t. I was pretty sure she hadn’t even told me her name.

  I felt Leah’s gaze on me as I turned into my apartment complex, but I kept my eyes in front of me, looking for a parking spot. I found one on the backside of my unit. I pulled into the spot, turned the car off and shifted in my seat to look at Leah. “All of this was before I met you.”

  Her pretty brow was furrowed and I felt like the world’s biggest dick. “I know, but…”

  “And I’m telling you the truth, Leah. I’m trying to be upfront and honest with you. I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else and think I’d kept it from you.”

  Her gray eyes bore into mine. “You don’t owe me any sort of explanation. It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything and—”

  Except that I wanted that. “We could be.” I’d wanted that before I’d made love to her and I definitely wanted it now. I just wanted to hold on to her forever and never have to let go. That snotty sorority girl shouldn’t have any bearing on that. But she did.

  “We could be?” she echoed.

  “I don’t really make it a habit of meeting a girl’s family or doing brunch with them on Sundays. But—” Shit. I wish there was a way to explain it that didn’t make me sound like a lovesick idiot. “I haven’t thought of much other than you since that first night in the ER. I—” I scratched the back of my neck, feeling pretty exposed under her stare, “—I just wanna see you every day. And if I can’t see you, I wanna talk to you. I just don’t want to fuck this up. You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.”

  All of the air whooshed out of me. Brody’s blue eyes were leveled on me and he sounded so sincere. I really wanted to believe him. I really wanted to hold onto that image in my mind of him reading to Aiden and of the world seeming so perfect as far back as half an hour ago. “Yeah?” I asked, almost afraid I’d misheard him. “You think I’m amazing?”

  He flashed me that grin that never failed to make my heart pound. “In every possible way, babe.” Then he leaned over the stick shift and softly pressed his lips against mine.

  The uneasiness that had been coursing through me the entire drive to his apartment began to dissipate. I touched a hand to his cheek and let my fingertips slowly explore the contours of his face, as though making sure he was real and I wasn’t imagining this whole thing. But I wasn’t imagining it. He was real, just as real as I was.

  Brody pulled back slightly and licked his bottom lip. “Wanna come inside?”

  Yeah, I did. I wanted him to hold me again. I wanted to touch every bit of him. And I wanted him to make love to me. I nodded and Brody’s gaze heated me once more.

  I climbed from his Jeep and then met him on the sidewalk. He took my hand in his and started to lead me toward his apartment.

  Kelly, the blonde who’d moved into Brody’s apartment, was just a few feet away from us, heading the same direction.

  “Shit,” Brody muttered under his breath, loud enough for only me to hear. “More drama.”

  She looked in our direction and smiled weakly. She didn’t look at all like the confident girl I’d met the night before. She seemed like a shell of that other girl, and I felt really bad for her. If my boyfriend had gotten someone else pregnant and the next guy I hooked up with called me someone else’s name in the middle of sex, I’m pretty sure my confidence would have been shaken to its core.

  “Hey,” she said to Brody. “Think you can help me carry some of my things out to my car?”

  “That mean you’re gone?” he asked.

  She shrugged. “I begged my way into my sorority house, which is full. It’ll be tight for a while, but…”

  But it was better than staying with Brody and Cade.

  “Yeah, I’ll help you,” he said.

  “Thanks.”

  He looked down at me as we started up the path. “You don’t mind, do you?” he asked, after she’d gone on ahead of us.

  I shook my head. “No, of course not.” I felt bad for Kelly. Honestly, part of me was glad she and her perfect body were going to be staying somewhere else and not with my boyfriend anymore, but I still felt bad for her.

  She opened the door to the apartment, gasped and jumped backward. “Oh, my God.”

  “Kelsey,” Cade’s surprised voice spilled outside.

  “Fuck you, Cade!” she yelled as she turned around and bolted past us.

  “Wait!”

  What in the world? We stopped in our tracks.

  “Just text me when he’s gone, ok?” she called over her shoulder as she rushed toward the parking lot.

  Brody dropped my hand and hurried to his front door. “Fuck,” he breathed out. “You have a fucking bedroom, you know?”

  “Don’t let her leave,” Cade called.

  “You’re not really in the position to talk to her and you called her the wrong fucking name again.” He shook his head.

  I was at Brody’s back, but I couldn’t really see into the apartment since he was blocking my view. I had a feeling I didn’t want to see what was going on in his living room.

  “Brody,” Cade complained.

  “Just get your fucking clothes on. Your friend too.” Then he closed the door and turned around to face me. “God, I wish I didn’t live with him.”

  Wow. Kelly had just walked in on Cade and some other girl? And they’d been together last night. A lot had happened in the last few hours. “He’s in there with someone else?” I asked, though that was very clearly what had gone on.

  “Fucking idiot.” Brody scrubbed a hand down his face. Then he frowned at me. “I’m sorry, Leah. So much for my grand idea to sweep you off your feet and make love to you the rest of the afternoon.”
>
  I wrapped my arms around his middle and looked up at him. “You’ve already swept me off my feet, Brody.”

  A ghost of a smile settled on his lips. “Yeah, well, I was really looking forward to the other part.”

  I dropped into my seat in philosophy and Ashley Beckwith slid into the spot across from me. “So you ditched us, huh?”

  The study group, over the weekend. I winced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize I’d double booked myself.”

  She tossed her dark hair over her shoulder and grinned at me. “Don’t be sorry. If I had the chance to sit in the library with us or hang out with Brody Campbell, I’d have totally ditched us too. I didn’t even know you two were dating.” Then she looked up and smiled at someone. “Hey, Kevin.”

  He nodded as he dropped into the spot beside me. Then he glanced in my direction. “You had a good weekend?”

  “Busy weekend,” I replied. With everything that had happened the last few days, it felt more like a lifetime had passed than just a few days. “Study group go ok?”

  He smiled at me. “We missed you. We’re doing it again next weekend, if you’re interested.”

  “Thanks,” I said, and I couldn’t help but think about Brody’s suggestion that Kevin was interested in me. Completely ridiculous. “Let me know when and I’ll make sure I don’t have plans already.”

  “Same time,” he said. “One o’clock, Saturday. Sidbury Library.”

  He really was nice. Nice and super smart. I’d be an idiot to turn down his help. “I’ll let you know.”

  My phone chirped in my purse. Shit. I hadn’t turned the ringer off. I scrambled to retrieve it from my bag just as Professor Howard walked into class. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

  “Something more important than my class, Miss Willett?”

  Shit. “No, sir,” I said quickly, dropping my phone to my lap.

  As he started for the front of the room, I turned my ringer off and glanced down at the screen. Brody’s name flashed at me and I tried not to smile. Professor Howard would not appreciate the smile. Actually, he didn’t appreciate much of anything.

  Last chance 4 DC

  The last thing I was going to do was call in sick just to see the Hayley Byrne concert. I didn’t even like Hayley Byrne. I did like Brody though and it would be fun to head into DC and back with him, but not responsible. And if there was anything I was since Aiden had been born, it was responsible. At least, I tried to be.

  I sent my reply from under the cover of my desk with one eye on Professor Howard and the other on my phone.

  Can’t go. Have fun!

  Miss u babe

  And I’d miss him too. Just the memory of my weekend with him, hearing him play, making love to him, watching him with Aiden…Well, it might just be the best weekend of my life.

  I noticed Kevin’s gaze on me out of the corner of my eye and I looked over at him. He nodded toward my phone and whispered, “Rebel.”

  If Professor Howard hadn’t started his lecture right then, I’d have laughed. No one in the world thought I was a rebel. Not anymore, anyway.

  Since Leah couldn’t go with me, I ditched my afternoon classes and drove into DC alone. Anxiety had gripped me for the better part of the day and I couldn’t get out of Wheston fast enough. Whether it was my nerves about meeting Hayley Byrne and hoping to make a good impression, or my residual guilt over Mike Willett’s break-up, or my complete irritation with Cade Bishop’s general person, I had no idea. Maybe it was a combination of everything, but I definitely didn’t feel like myself.

  I got to the Verizon Center early and the all-access pass Johnny Staub’d left for me at will call got me into the arena before the ever-growing mob of tween girls lining up outside the doors.

  It was eerily quiet inside the Center, the quiet before the storm, I was sure. And for the first time that day, excitement started to course through my veins. In just a few months, it would be me that tween girls would be lining up to hear perform, and…Well, they’d still be lining up for Hayley Byrne, but they’d get to hear me. And the more exposure I got, the more fans that heard me sing, the bigger I was going to be.

  My cell rang and my back pocket vibrated. I pulled my phone out, expecting to see Leah’s number, but instead it was my dad. The last person in the world I wanted to talk to. So I declined the call and made my way into the amphitheater.

  Roadies were setting up the sound equipment and the lighting tech was doing his check. My excitement grew with each flash of colored lights. Just a few more months, I’d be living this life. As soon as I graduated, I’d be doing this day in and day out and I could hardly wait. It was everything I’d always wanted my whole life.

  “Hey!” guy hooking up the drums amp yelled. “You’re not supposed to be in here.”

  Me. Shit. “Sorry,” I called back. “Have a pass from Johnny Staub, I didn’t realize I couldn’t be in here.”

  “Staub?” The guy stepped to the edge of the stage and shielded his eyes from flashing lights. “Who are you?”

  I started up the aisle. “Brody Campbell.”

  “Oh! You’re the kid Staub has been going on and on about!” The guy smiled in greeting and gestured to himself. “Paul Fashingbaur.”

  Oh, shit! Hayley Byrne’s drummer. “Yeah, yeah,” I said, like I knew that already. “How you doing?”

  “Every day’s crazier than the next.” He hopped off the edge of the stage and made his way toward me. His arms and neck were covered in tats and his blond hair was streaked with an electric blue stripe. “I hear you’re gonna join the tour next year.” He offered me his hand.

  If Fashingbaur had already heard that, I must be a shoo-in. Still, it wouldn’t help me to look like a dick by acting that way. I shook his outstretched hand. “I hope so. You know, if Hayley likes me.”

  An amused expression flashed in the drummer’s eyes. “She’ll like you. You’re just her type.”

  That had to be a good thing, right? “I hope so.” I nodded. “I’m supposed to meet her tonight. You got any advice?”

  “Yeah, just look pretty,” he laughed. “Come on backstage, I’ll introduce you to some of the guys.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked. “I don’t wanna interrupt you or anything.”

  “We’re good.” He started back for the stage. “Almost done anyway.”

  Then he led me through a set of doors at the far right of the stage, into a production hallway and finally to a flight of stairs that brought us backstage. There were a ton of people – dancers, backup singers, musicians, and those were just the performers. There were makeup artists, a whole bunch of girls by a rack of costumes, roadies pushing crates from one side of the stage to the other.

  “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,” Fashingbaur joked as I took in the inner workings of Hayley’s production team. A hell of a difference from the guys and me hauling our shit from a storage unit off a back farm road outside Wheston. This was the shit.

  The drummer introduced me to the rest of Hayley’s band and a couple of singers, everyone decked out in electric blue. And then I saw Hayley…

  She didn’t look at all like I expected. Loose fitting jeans a tan t-shirt and her blonde hair up in a ponytail. She looked like the girl next door, not at all like she did on TV or in the tabloids. When she spotted me, a look of confusion splashed across her face.

  “I know you?” she asked, walking over to our little group.

  “Brody Campbell,” I said. “I think Mr. Staub—”

  Her mouth fell open in apparent happiness. “Brody Campbell!” Then she leaned in and kissed both my cheeks. “Love your single.”

  God, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. Best fucking news all day. “Yeah?” I asked, completely unable to hide the smile from my voice.

  She shrugged. “It needs some polish and some time in the studio with Johnny, but…” she grinned. “It’s great. It’s wonderful. You’re gonna do really well.”

  “Thanks,” I sai
d quickly. “That means a lot.”

  “And look at that face, Paul.” She glanced at her drummer. “Not sure if he’ll sell more singles or magazines. What do you think?”

  Fashingbaur looked at me as if to say I told you so. “Probably a lot of both.”

  “I think so too.” She grinned. “So wanna join the tour early?”

  Shit. I guess that meant I got the spot. And there was nothing more I’d love to do than leave Virginia behind me and join right now, but… “Gotta finish this semester first.” I mean, I hadn’t put all that work into my degree for nothing. Besides, there were tons of artists who got ripped off by their agents and managers only to be left with nothing at the end of the day. Maybe it wasn’t really worth the paper it was written on, but I had a feeling my Wheston diploma was gonna keep people from trying to fuck me over.

  “Handsome and smart,” she teased. “Well, we gotta finish getting ready for tonight.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I said. “Don’t let me be in the way.”

  “Pretty sure you could never be that,” she said as she left the group and started towards one of the makeup artists. “All right,” she grumbled. “Let’s get this over with.”

  I glanced back at Fashingbaur and offered him my hand once more. “Thanks, man, appreciate it.”

  “Yeah, no problem. See you soon, Brody.”

  Soon. Soon I was gonna have everything I ever wanted. I was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet.

  I was probably killing myself, burning my candle at both ends. School in the mornings, Aiden in the afternoon, work at night, and Brody before I went home to fall asleep and start the whole thing over again. There was only so much time in the day but I didn’t want to miss anything and I certainly didn’t want to give Brody up. I was exhausted, but I was also the happiest I’d ever been. At least I didn’t have to work tonight.

  After reading Winston’s book for the third time that night, I’d tucked Aiden into bed and made my way back downstairs. My mom was laughing at something, which was pretty rare. And I walked into the TV room to find Brody sitting in a recliner telling my mom about an encounter he’d had in Amsterdam with an irritable living statue.