surrender to darkness

by E. M. Moore

  Little did he know who he was dealing with though. There were four very perfect, very beautiful reasons for me to kick this guy’s ass standing on our side, and I wasn’t going to let anything else happen.

  We came at one another at the same time. Due to his speed, he was the first to connect. My face whiplashed back after his knuckles grazed my chin. Still shaking it off, I dropped and charged, but instead of going through with the takedown, I used the sharp stake edge as a blade and sliced it against Clive’s upper thigh. He roared and came at me again. My head pounded inside my skull as I focused back on him. He kicked out at me, the bottom of his shoe coming straight for my face. I blocked it into my elbow, which may have hurt me more than it hurt him, then punctured his skin on the backside of his upper thigh with my stake.

  I yanked it out. A trickle of blood rinsed over my fingers. He placed his foot down and grinned. I knew I’d hurt him, but Clive didn’t seem like the type of fighter who was going to let it show. We traded blows for blows until he delivered rapid fire punches at me. I blocked all but one as it connected with my jaw again. I shook it off. The pain in my head intensified and so did the shooting pains up my arms from blocking. It was getting harder and harder to take his advances when my arms didn’t even want to lift in the air.

  I guessed it was time for some kicks then. I faked with a left and then switched to my good lead and threw a right. It connected with his upper thigh and he looked down, eyebrows raising a little in admiration. Well, now that my secret was out of the bag, I needed to stay in my normal stance.

  We circled again, his eyes briefly leaving mine to look off to the side. “It’s too bad it’s coming to this, girl, because it looks like you have the young princes on your side.”

  My stomach bottomed out, but I refused to take the bait even though he looked over my shoulder, almost begging me to look with him.

  No distractions, I told myself. Stay the course.

  I pretended like I was going to look, then spun into a side kick. He was already moving in when he saw me start to move so he ran right into my kick. His midsection molded around my foot for a split second before he bounced back, his lips scowling now. With a burst of energy, he ran at me. I tried to sprawl, but I was just a microsecond too late. He grabbed me around the waist and threw me to the grass, following after me and landing on top. He landed several strikes, each one jarring my head into the cement-like dirt. Pain exploded behind my head. I’d lost my breath when he’d hit me in the gut so I struggled to breathe. Being bombarded wasn’t helping at all either. He rocked me once—hard—my head lulling to the side, and I finally spotted the princes.

  My heart stopped.

  Connor was on his knees just in front of his father, his fingers threaded into his golden locks as he stared dumbstruck at me. Christian and Nicolai both had their hands in front of one another like a mother might do if she had to hit the brakes in the car fast to avoid hitting something. It was as if they were holding one another back. And Stephan, he broke my heart most of all. He was sitting cross-legged next to Connor, his head in his hands not even able to look up. He rocked back and forth, his hands practically over his ears, over his eyes, everywhere no doubt trying to block everything out like none of this was happening.

  A trickle of blood made it into my eye and I squeezed them shut. Clive must’ve opened up a gash on my forehead with all his blows. At once, I saw all the happy times I’d shared with the princes flit through my brain. Their smiles, their laughter, and yes, every outpouring of their love. This was why I was doing this. For them. For us.

  I took Clive’s hand as it came down to assault me again and held it to my chest. Then, I trapped his ankle and bucked with all my might. I just barely made it over on top of him, taking the upper hand. I trapped one of his hands under my knee as I rolled while I brought my stake-wielding hand forward, aimed right for his heart. I was two inches away from hitting it home when the stake flew out of my hands.

  He’d stopped me.

  Moving on instinct, I punched at his hand and then picked up his head and slammed it against the ground before pulling another stake out of my waistband. His eyes rounded as he struggled to throw me off, but I had him now. I had the advantage and I wasn’t going to let him up. Connor had taught me that reversal move one day in the gym and it only seemed fitting that I take Clive out with it, not allowing him to hurt me anymore.

  He reached out as I was coming down. Instead of dodging him to go for his heart again, I moved and put the stake right through his arm, pinning it to the ground. He roared in pain, his eyes going to his new wound while I pulled a stake out of my leg holster. I leaned forward, my hand across his neck. Both of his hands were out of commission. My knee was sinking into one, and the other still had a wooden stake sticking out of it. He wasn’t going anywhere.

  I’d won. But knowing what happened to Samuel, I wasn’t going to leave anything up to interpretation. Clive had to die. I swallowed. “I’ll make it quick,” I promised.

  With both hands, I shoved the stake into his chest, solidly centering the stake right in the middle of his heart. I felt it pierce the layers of skin before hitting home. Clive’s mouth dropped open.

  He jerked once before going still, his head lolling to the side.

  The world stopped. I reached up to clean the blood and sweat out of my eyes, but just ended up making it worse. I rocked back on the soles of my feet and got up before a body barreled into me. I clamped down tight on my jaw, refusing to let the howl of pain come through.

  Stephan let go quickly and then Nic was right there. His face was a mixture of pride and anger. “God, I fucking hate you right now.”

  I nodded, still stunned about what had happened. He could’ve easily told me he wasn’t mad and I would have gone with it.

  I’d won the fight. We could go one more day. It was down to Gregor now.

  Before I could take my thoughts any further, Connor slipped his hands around my waist and howled with laughter and excitement. He tossed me up into the air, holding just behind my knees so I was towering above everybody now. I peeked at the Ravana side of the arena. Vampires and guards alike were jumping up and down. Smiling, crying. Even Gregor and Isabelle were sharing an embrace.

  When Connor let me down, Christian stood in front of me. He put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. Words didn’t come out, but I felt like he said everything he needed to with his eyes. His hands dropped.

  Soren clapped me on the back next. “I knew you could do it, Young One. I knew it.”

  While the celebration picked up around me, Stephan started to look over my injuries. “You need ice and bandages. You may have broken some bones in your face.”

  Didn’t I know it? That guy could hit like a beast.

  I stared down at Clive’s lifeless body and felt the injustice of it all. I reminded myself that I had to do it, and I did. If I hadn’t, these warriors wouldn’t have settled for anything less. They wouldn’t have risked being thought of as lesser-than with a leader like Dumont. When they said fight to the death, they meant it. It wasn’t fight until you knew you would win in real life. It was all too sad, but we were doing our part to stop that. If his clan could just see what it would be like to be under someone who ruled with fairness and justice, we could be stronger and better.

  The large circle that had started to form around me opened up and Gregor and Isabelle walked through. Gregor looked down at me, his face serious. “You know we will have to discuss this.”

  I nodded.

  “I’m glad you’re alright,” he said, finally, looking every bit the stern, yet fair, leader he was.

  I didn’t want to look at Isabelle. She’d fought hard so I wouldn’t have to be the one standing here and then I went against everything and did it, anyway. When I looked at her though, she was smiling. “Didn’t I say everything would turn out okay?”

  I blinked. I didn’t have a chance to respond. The crowd opened wider and silenced as Dumont walked through. A heavy cloud
fell over our celebration. He went to Gregor and held his hand out. “Tomorrow.”

  Gregor ignored the offered hand shake. “Tomorrow.”

  Dumont shrugged, then sneered down at his warrior. He kicked his head so Clive wasn’t looking his way anymore. I growled, and tried to lunge at him, but strong hands went around me.

  That was no way to treat a fighter who’d done what they were brought here to do. Sure, Clive didn’t win, but that wasn’t for the lack of trying. I fought against the restraints and dropped down in front of Clive. I turned his head, then closed his eyes before getting to my feet and linking my hands under his arms. I started pulling him toward the Dumont side.

  The crowd parted for me and when I appeared, pulling one of their men, I saw some of their faces go slack with shock. I found Diesel on the outskirts. Though I hated he’d killed my mentor, I knew if I was in his place, I’d have done the same thing. I had done the same thing. Clive could’ve easily been someone else’s mentor on this side. That was what was so terrible about war. No one won, really. Especially not Lex, and especially not Clive.

  When Clive suddenly got much lighter, I looked to find that Christian had picked up Clive’s feet, and we both lugged him before Diesel. I laid him down in front of the strongest warrior they had and then crossed his hands over his bloody chest. Closing my eyes, I sent up a little prayer on Clive’s behalf and then straightened, looking Diesel in the eye. “Take care of your honored soldier. He deserves to be laid to rest with dignity.”

  Diesel looked down. First into my eyes and then lower as he saw how I’d placed Clive’s lifeless body. “I will,” he grunted in a deep baritone that sent shivers up my spine.

  Christian put his arm around me and we walked back to our group. Stephan waited on the outside, one foot already aimed right for his triage tent. I supposed that was the first thing to get out of the way, then we could focus on Gregor’s fight. I’d given them a shot, now Gregor just had to bring it home.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Christian and Stephan flanked me as we walked toward the triage tent. Vampires and guards reached out for me as I passed. Their expressions of joy and relief made the pain in my arms all worth it. When we passed T.J., he wheeled his chair forward, and I stooped down to give him a hug. “Shit, Ariana. You gave me a heart attack.”

  I smiled, unsure what to say, then I remembered that Zeke was still passed out in the training room. “Can you check on Zeke? He’s in the training room, and he’s probably going to be more than a little mad when he wakes up.”

  He pressed his lips together to hide a smile as Gregor made himself known beside us. “You didn’t knock him out, did you?”

  “No, Sir. I used whatever medicine Stephan gave me yesterday. He’s just sleeping.”

  Gregor flagged someone down and sent him along with T.J. to break the bad news. Whenever he was allowed after me, it wasn’t going to be a pretty sight, but I didn’t care. I was telling him what Lex told me and he could think I was selfish or dumb or any other number of things, but it was done and it had all worked out. The truth was, he’d have done it to me in a heartbeat, and he wouldn’t have needed as much evidence as I had.

  We picked up the pace as the crowd started to close in. It was amazing seeing everyone so full of life again after the last two fights hadn’t ended in our favor. There was renewed vigor. Excitement in their eyes. Everyone stared at Gregor in awe. I could see them almost acknowledging that a win was close at hand and that we would be able to put this chapter in the war against Dumont behind us as early as tomorrow.

  Stephan helped me inside, then picked me up and sat me on the triage cot in front of him. Others filtered in afterward until a dark head popped in. “Everyone who’s not a Ravana needs to leave…now!” He gave them all a hard stare until they slowly backed out. Even some nurses left with others who were just excited onlookers.

  Already? I was hoping I’d at least get a stay until my wounds were healed.

  Soren was the last to leave. He raised his eyebrows at me and then backed away like a cartoon character. Any other time I would’ve laughed, but not with the scowl on Nic’s face.

  The flap on the tent fell to the ground, and he turned. “Just so we’re clear,” he said, charging the cot. “I want to straight up murder you right now.”

  I swallowed the sudden desert dry nothingness that was my throat. I put my chin in the air. “Just so we’re clear…I know.”

  His hands came to rest on either side of me and he dropped his forehead to mine. “God! I can’t believe you fucking did that! Part of me thought you might, but then I was like, ‘no, why would she do that? There’s no reason. She’s be stupid and crazy.’”

  I shrugged. “I’m stupid. And crazy.”

  He punched the cot on either side of me and I froze up. “Just tell me why you did it.”

  “Back off,” Stephan said, trying to step in between us.

  I looked at him and shook my head. “It’s okay. You guys deserve to know.” Christian pulled Nic back so they were all standing in a semi-circle around me. This view was all too familiar. Hopefully after this was over, I wouldn’t have to stand in front of them like this ever again. “We needed to win. Zeke is a good fighter, but this was my job to do.” I stared up at them. “I know your mom asked Lex and Samuel not to choose me to fight. Before Lex’s match, she told me. She also told me they did choose me, but they changed their minds at the last second because of what Isabelle said. It was my fight to begin with. I didn’t take it away from Zeke or think that I’m so much better than him that I needed to step in. and I certainly didn’t do it without thinking about it first. The truth is, I wasn’t ever going to lose that fight. Not when you guys were standing there and knowing how much I had to lose. I knew I could win, not because I’m that good, but because of sheer will and the power of what we have. If you think I’d give this up so easily, you’re the crazy stupid one.”

  “That’s debatable,” Connor said.

  Christian shh’d him.

  “Listen, I knew you guys were going to be mad, but I also knew there was no way you were going to let me do it if I told you what I was planning.”

  “You don’t know that,” Christian said.

  “Really? Then how come none of you told me what Isabelle said?”

  Stephan shifted and looked at the ground. He was always the first to look guilty. “We didn’t know they’d actually chosen you. We weren’t sure.”

  “I know,” I told him. “Lex told me. She stuck up for you guys. Trust me.”

  Nicolai’s knees wobbled and he fell to the ground. He dragged his hands through his hair. “I think that’s why I’m so pissed. When you ran away from me, I was in shock. All I could think about was what happened to Lex and thinking the same thing was going to happen to you because she was our best fighter. I know you’re good, Ri, but she was Lex. I thought we were all going to have to watch you die. I just knew our lives were going to be torn out from under us.”

  I slipped off the cot and went to my knees in front of him. “I’m here,” I said, picking up his hand and placing it on my cheek. “I’m still here. I wouldn’t leave you guys like that. If I thought for a second that I wasn’t going to be able to pull it off, I would’ve been the first in line to ask you guys to run away with me because there’s one thing I will never do, and that’s sacrifice what I have with all of you.” I reached up with my free hand and Christian took it. “I’m sorry if I scared you. I’m sorry if you want to be mad at me for awhile. I can take it. Just know that I did it for us.” I reached out to Connor and then Stephan. “I’ll always fight for us. Always.”

  They helped Nic and I to our feet and we all embraced, a tangle of arms and legs and healing hearts. We stood there for several minutes in silence until Stephan helped me back on the cot where he poked and prodded and asked questions. Within a minute, I had ice on my face and he was lathering me up with miracle cream on my arms. I was already bruising there, my pale skin marred by blue and purple
spots.

  That Clive could punch like nobody’s business. I lay there staring up at the ceiling, replaying the last few seconds of the fight. Some of it was a blur, a match of feelings rather than steps and technique. But at the very last, I knew I had to kill that warrior in front of me or be killed. An aching rip tore through my heart as I remembered the lost look in his eyes. My face burned, then ached, as I fought back the tears. Eventually, I couldn’t hold it back anymore. A tear escaped and slid down my cheek.

  Stephan’s eyes rounded. “Where does it hurt?” I pointed to my heart, and Stephan frowned. “You said you weren’t injured there.”

  I shook my head. “Not on the outside. On the inside.” I looked up at him, latching on to his eyes for support. “I killed him.”

  The rational part of my brain knew it was ludicrous to feel bad about it. If I didn’t kill him, he would’ve killed me, but that didn’t make it right. We weren’t at odds, this Clive and me. We were just sent out there to do a job, a senseless killing. At another time, at another place, he wouldn’t have been a threat to me. It wasn’t him. It was Dumont. It was Dumont that needed to pay for all this.

  Stephan traced a thumb over my forehead as he bent over me. “I know.”

  “It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t my fault.”

  “What you did afterward?” Stephan started, then shook his head. “It was a show of kindness, of respect that I’m sure won’t be lost on Dumont’s people.” He picked my hand up and kissed my knuckles. “You showed them that we’re different.”

  Already my sore, aching body was starting to feel better. The inside would take more time to heal though.

  Christian came over to squeeze my hand. “I just talked to Father. I thought maybe he would want to go to the training room to get ready for his fight, but he’s assured me that he’s done training.”

  I raised my eyebrows.

  “He wants to spend time with his family, so as soon as you’re feeling up to it, he’s arranged to have every dessert in the estate brought into the dining room so that we can—”